A Virtuous Woman

Love & Dating  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  49:20
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Titus 2:4–5 KJV 1900
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Discreet

The Greek word, σώφρων -ος, ὁ; (sōphrōn) means:

moderate — wisely keeping self-control over one’s passions and desires.

This may seem odd but I will tell you, that if you have ever been with someone who cannot control themselves, you will learn quickly how this is such a desirable trait.
I remember in college, I was in a relationship with someone who had no restraint. They never exercised any self control and continuously were difficult to be with each day.
Imagine having to wrestle with someone daily because they were either unable to control their emotions or what they said to you or others.
If one is discreet it will help them be chaste, which is why the list is composed in this manner.
The word for chaste means to be pure, faultless, as having a good reputation of purity and holiness.

Diligent

The Greek Word, οἰκουργός (oikourgos) means:

homemaking — characterized by applying oneself diligently to caring for one’s house and household; especially understood as if a trade or vocation.

The dictionary describes diligence as:
having or showing care and conscientiousness in one's work or duties.
I put that here because someone can be hardworking and not diligent, but I do not often see someone who is diligent not be hardworking.
The next several verses deal with how her actions ultimately will determine how others view our faith.
Titus 2:5 KJV 1900
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
The word blasphemed means for people to speak profanely or speak lightly of God’s word.
Who you date will tell others how serious you are about your faith.

Distinguished

Titus 2:5 KJV 1900
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
The word blasphemed means for people to speak profanely or speak lightly of God’s word.
Who you date will tell others how serious you are about your faith.
I think another way we could look at this is saying they are a woman of excellence and of great respect.
This is the final part of the list and it is because what was mentioned before all contribute to one being excellent, well respected not only among other believers but also outwardly to the world as the indication here is that the Word of God would not be blasphemed. The blaspheme would not take place among God’s people but from the world.
You may have heard people say:
“I thought you were a christian?”
“And they call themselves a christian.”
“Well if a christian can do that...”
This will often lead people to look at the Word of God with disgust or make light of the things of the Lord.
So let’s elaborate more on these points.
Proverbs 31:10 KJV 1900
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.
We have come to probably one of the most famous proverbs contained within the book itself. A long list of the exceptional qualities of a Godly woman.
Proverbs Chapter 31

It is an acrostic; that is, each verse begins with one of the twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet, arranged in the usual order. We may compare this mashal with the alphabetical psalms, “Psalmi abcedarii,” which are, more or less, of similar structure, but of which one only, the hundred and nineteenth, is so marked in the English versions. Other examples are Ps. 9, 10, 25, 34, 37., 111, 112, 145; also Lam. 1, 2, and 3. One object of this artificial construction was to render the matter easier to commit to memory

Proverbs–Ecclesiastes The Right Woman, 31:10–31

Unfortunately, in English readers cannot see clearly the craft of the poet. This poem is an acrostic poem, meaning that each line of poetry begins with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. There are 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet and 22 lines of poetry here.

But the artistry does not stop there. Duane Garrett believes that there is an elaborate chiastic pattern that also governs the composition and reading of the poem. Readers might make sense of the poem in two mirroring halves as follows:

A. High value of good wife (v. 10)

B. Husband benefits (vv. 11–12)

C. Wife works hard (vv. 13–19)

D. Wife gives to poor (vv. 20)

E. No fear of snow (v. 21a)

F. Children clothed in scarlet (v. 21b)

G. Coverings for bed, wife wears linen (v. 22)

H. Public respect for husband (v. 23)

G′. Sells garments and sashes (v. 24)

F′. Wife clothed in dignity (v. 25a)

E′. No fear of future (v. 25b)

D′. Wife speaks of wisdom (v. 26)

C′. Wife words hard (v. 27)

B′. Husband and children praise wife (vv. 28–29)

A′. High value of good wife (vv. 20–31)

Let us take a look at these verses together:
Proverbs 31:10 KJV 1900
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

This Hebrew phrase, esheth chayil, is also used to describe Ruth (Ruth 3:11), who fits many of the characteristics of the idea wife described in this section. She was hard-working and took initiative (Ruth 2:2), and she was praised in the gates (Ruth 4:11). The word chayil can also indicate strength (Prov 31:3), wealth (Gen 34:29), or courage (1 Sam 16:18).

You may not know:
According to the IGS (International Gem Society), gem-quality rubies are far more rare and valuable than diamonds.
A part of this is due to the time it requires for rubies and sapphires to develop or form in the earth.
A former coworker of mine was married to a woman from India, whose parents owned a diamond mine. They were very well off (rich), he told me that the diamond market purposely creates a shortage to increase the demand and price of the diamonds. He later told me that his in-laws were rich, but he was not.
Needless to say, that a ruby of such pure quality that contains all the correct elements, would be invaluable.
Notice also her skill set.
All the things listed here are in reference to her being a keeper of the home.
Lets be honest men, if it were up to us our homes would look like white walls and the basic furniture setup. God instilled in women to want to add rugs, pictures, and color to the home. It is their desire to make the home a place of comfort and peace.

has skill with a variety of materials used to make linen—this would have been a highly valued skill in the ancient Near East (Prov 31:21–22, 24). Flax is a plant that would be dried (see Josh 2:6) and spun into linen. Wool, which comes from sheep, was spun into yarn (Exod 35:25).

Proverbs 31:17 KJV 1900
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, And strengtheneth her arms.

She girds her waist in strength She has physical strength and stamina and is prepared to work hard.

This Hebrew expression used here refers to tucking the tunic into the belt so it is not in the way during intense activity.

Proverbs 31:19–24 KJV 1900
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, And her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; Her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; And delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

Her hands she puts onto the distaff The distaff and spindle were tools used to make linen, which the excellent wife used to make clothing for her household (Prov 31:21–22) and to sell for profit (v. 24).

is clothed in crimson Expensive material typically worn by the wealthy (2 Sam 1:24; Isa 1:18; Jer 4:30). She provides clothes that are both luxurious and warm.

Her husband is known at the gates City gates were the social and economic hub of the city. The elders were the leaders responsible for legal rulings (see note on Ruth 4:1). The husband of the excellent wife was known and respected among the leaders of the town. Job describes how he was respected by all at the city gate before his suffering (Job 29:7–11).

Strength and dignity are her clothing While the excellent wife produces clothing from fine linen (Prov 31:22), she is better known for her character.

Now men, I appreciate your honesty in the list that you made.
Do any of these things listed about a woman whose value is so high relate to her beauty?
No.
What does the bible say about beauty?
It is vain.

is vain The Hebrew word used here, hevel, is used figuratively to describe things that are brief and transitory (see Eccl 1:2 and note). Here, it speaks to the fleeting nature of physical beauty.

Beauty is temporary and all people will age. Some people age differently, some like a fine a wine and some age like milk...
So what should you look for most importantly in a woman. I think that the bible answers this for us in the book of Genesis.
Genesis 2:18 KJV 1900
18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Does anyone know what it really means to be a help meet?
The two Hebrew words used here are ʿēzer and neged.
ʿēzer means:

helper n., a person who contributes to the fulfillment of a need or furtherance of an effort or purpose

neged means:

likeness n., similarity in appearance, character, or nature between persons or things

What you should seek in a spouse, is someone who fulfills a need and better enhances your walk with the Lord and in life. Someone who you can be completely open and honest, feel completely at peace.
ʿēzer also means strength and has the idea of someone who is strengthening the other person where they are not strong. Because the word neged also means to be opposite or contrary.
What we need in a spouse is someone who is not the same as us but is able to strengthen us in the areas we are weak, so they must be strong in those areas to fulfill that need.
It is not simply a ‘companion’ but truly a ‘help meet’. One who is able to strengthen and restore us in all seasons of life.
Woman, that is your ultimate superpower in a marriage. No one else can fulfill that role in the marriage. So who should woman seek to marry? Someone with whom they get fulfillment in providing that strength and support.
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