Why Lament?

Scripture Passage

Psalm 13 (NLT)

1 O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? 2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? 3 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. 4 Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!” Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall. 5 But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. 6 I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.

Focus Statement

In Lent, lament invites us to face our humanity.

Lament is a natural part of our faithful, loving response

to a world marked by sin and brokenness.

Point of Relation

This past Wednesday, which was a phenomenally attended service, BTW…

I spoke about the importance of lament and repentance in the lives of the faithful…

In that service, I spoke of my own lament…

The lament that I had for turning away from God for years…

For not pursuing the calling to be a pastor…

when I knew from at least 8 years old and onward that I was called to a life of service to Jesus Christ…

I was so stricken with lament that I repented over and over and over and over again.

To the point where even Jesus was probably face-palming…

Like, I can hear Jesus saying, “Todd, dude…bro…it’s all good. I forgive you.”

But as I said that night, and I will say it again…

I do not believe I was ready to forgive myself…

and I was begging God to deliver me…all the while I was not willing to let my guilt go to God.

I did, though, eventually get there!

Things to Consider

Let me ask you

Where in your life are you waiting for God to deliver?

Pause

Perhaps there are family issues you are waiting for God to deliver on…

Perhaps you are stuck in your career or stuck in some other aspect of your life…

That you’ve been praying to God for.

Where is our community waiting for God to deliver?

Pause

We know that we desire to grow in number

We know that we desire to grow in impact

We long to see youth fill our church once again…though look at the children we now have…it’s a start follks!

There are plenty of things we could dream up of that we are waiting for God to deliver….I am sure.

What Scripture Says

Lent is a season in which we focus on our mortality and engage in self-examination.

Part of our mortality is our finitude or ”humanness”

and because we are finite, human creatures,

we experience loss and grief.

To clarify…finite means we have a beginning and an end. We are born and we die.

as opposed to something that is INFINITE…which has no end.

Lament is all about bringing our grief and sorrows to God in honest prayer.

Our world focuses on the immediate

and rarely allows the time for grief, pain, and discomfort.

This is why when people are grieving loss, such as the death of a loved one…

people are only patient and understanding of that grief for a very short period of time.

Then one who is in the midst of grief will begin to hear things like, “get over it”, “stop crying,” and “don’t dwell on the negative”

Instead of giving space for lament and grief,

our world is all about finding a solution, getting better, and moving onto the next thing.

Let us take this season of Lent to learn to get comfortable with lament,

recognizing that it is a process or journey that takes time.

Like the psalmist repeatedly asks in today’s passage (v. 1-2)

”How long...??”

Grief, Lent, lament – these are all part of a journey.

We don’t have to stay ”stuck” in it forever,

but it is okay to take a season to make space and time for it.

In fact, that is what we will be doing this Lent.

Definition

Lament may or may not be a familiar word to you.

So, let me briefly define it for you.

In the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

Lament is defined both as a verb and a noun.

As an intransitive verb

it means to mourn aloud or wail

As a transitive verb it means to

express sorrow, mourning, or regret for, often demonstratively.

and it means to regret strongly.

As a noun, it is wailing or a crying out in grief.

So, A lament, for intance, is a writing or prayer which is wailed or cried out in grief.

The entire book of Lamentations, written by Jeremiah, was a lament.

But that is just the definition in the basic dictionary…

In Scripture, in involved other more nuanced things such as

beating the breast, wailing, weeping, sorrow, chanting a dirge.

In Hebrew, the term for beating the breast is the word Sāpad.

Qādar, originally meaning “be dark”, came to also mean, be dirty, unattended, in mourning attire.”

This was a way of expressing Lament…by dressing in black clothing, not washing or grooming…etc.

The word Qînâ is a technical term for a type of musical composition…or a dirge.

What’s more, Lamentation was a vital part of ancient Jewish life.

Death, disaster, war devastation, consciousness of sin and acute illness.

People who were lamenting would often wear sackcloth (course material) next to their skin.

They removed their shoes, covered their heads and even possibly veiled their faces.

They did not wash or apply perfumes.

Men would often shave their beards and hair.

And people would fast from food during their time of lamentation or mourning.

So let’s look at the components of Lament as summarized by Dr. Glenn Packlam and inspired by none other than N.T. Wright.

First Lment is Praise.

Lament is a form of praise.

It is not ”just complaining.”

When we lament, we are bringing our complaints to God because of who God is.

We know we cannot handle our pain on our own.

God is the only one capable of changing things.

The psalmist in today’s Psalm expresses the futility of their own efforts

and places trust in God’s ability in verses 3 and 4.

Where it says, “3 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. 4 Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!” Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.”

The psalm shows how we can both praise God and have legitimate, negative feelings at the same time.

We don’t have to sugarcoat our complaints and yet,

at verse 5 there is a turn to trust

“5 But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me.”

The psalmist laments to God,

knowing who God has been (steadfast in love,)

and who God has promised to be (the one who saves),

with a spirit of trust (as seen in verse 6 where it says:.

“6 I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.”

As can be seen,

the praise doesn’t cancel out the grief or vice versa.

Lament is Proof of the relationship.

Going to God in our lament is proof of our relationship with God.

It shows that we need God and we trust God to show up when we are in need.

Some may have been taught that ’complaining’ to God or about God’s perceived absence is a sign that they are unfaithful.

However, part of being in a relationship is being able to go to the other party when we are hurting or things aren’t right.

This psalm shows that God can handle our raw feelings, pain and grief.

Let’s explore how lament is a sign of faithfulness.

For instance, what would it mean if we did not lament/cry out?

What would that say about us…what does that say about what we believe about God…

That perhaps God is not accessible, or that God doesn’t care enough to listen, etc.?

Or maybe it is indication that we don’t believe God can handle our pain?

Or, more likely, that we think we are in a position to handle it on our own?

Lament is a Pathway to intimacy with God.

A big part of intimacy in relationship is about being able to trust the other person enough to be vulnerable.

Look at how vulnerable the psalmist is in Psalm 13!

It is the shortest psalm of lament.

Often our most raw, vulnerable expressions of grief and longing are very direct and brief.

(Think about physical pain and what you might say or shout when, for example, you put your hand on a hot stove or slam your finger in a car door.)

The psalmist is hurting here and sometimes, we are too.

Think of the ways we tend to grieve or ”sanitize” grief

so that no one ”loses control.”

Yet, lamentation is really a letting go…not a losing control.

In fact, if we really think about it…what are we actually in control of? Not much, if anything at all. Right?

Lamentation is a healthy release to God, whom we put our trust in to BE IN CONTROL.

Lament is Prayer for God to act.

Lament is a form of prayer and it includes a request for God to act.

The psalmist has enemies, or at least perceived enemies.

They are in pain, sorrow, and waiting.

It feels like things have been this way forever (or there is fear that this will last forever).

Lament comes out of things not going the way we think they should. Lament includes a plea for God to show up.

Notice that there is a sense of impatience in this psalm.

That does not necessarily mean God will show up in the way and time we want,

but it does mean God can handle our desperation and requests.

Finally, Lament is participation in the pain of others.

The psalmist laments being pursued by enemies.

We have all different kinds of enemies in this world –

(e.g., literal/external (people out to get us), personal/internal (like our own inner demons), or systemic (like racism, sexism, etc.)).

Lament is an appropriate and faithful response to pursuit by all kinds of enemies.

We lament DEATH…death of a loved one, we lament illness, broken relationships, regrets, the state of the world, division, oppression, social injustice).

You and I may not even find ourselves in a place of lamentation, but there are people in our communities who do

and have experienced these things.

Lament is not just about what we go through as individuals;

it is also an expression of solidarity with others who are suffering.

A great example of Lament…when our nation lamented what happened on 9/11.

Not all of us were physically affected…but it affected us all and as a nation we communally LAMENTED what happened.

What This Means For You

I want to give each of you permission to lament to God.

Sometimes we want to get through uncomfortable, negative feelings quickly,

but grief can sneak up on us months or even years later.

That’s okay.

That just means you loved, and you care.

Everyone grieves differently.

As you give yourself permission to lament,

also when you recognize that other people are in a season of lament, give them the grace and space to do so in their own way.

A common misunderstanding among Christians, especially those who are newer to the faith,

is that God will prevent us from enduring hardship or tragedy.

So, when such trials comes, many people lose faith.

Yet Jesus in says in John 16:33 “33Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Being a Christian doesn’t mean we will avoid tragedy.

Jesus acknowledges we will experience trouble. Jesus himself experienced trouble and lamented.

The promise of Christianity is that Jesus has gone before us and will accompany us when we endure tough times.

Jesus gives us hope that tragedy and death will not have the final word.

What This Means for Us

Friends, just as the psalmist in Psalm 13 turns from questions and despair to trust and hope,

we as a church are called to bear each other’s burdens well with grace and hope.

Trust that even if you are not in a season of lament,

that there is an opportunity for you to walk with your fellow disciples, church family members…

and to be there for them in their season.

That is what we are called to do…

to create a space for people to feel safe in all aspects of their faith journey…

not just the ones that make us feel comfortable. Amen?

Then let us continue to create such a space where people know they can come and find hope, healing, and wholeness. Amen.