Love Perfected

Introduction

Good morning church and thank you for joining us here this morning as we worship the Lord together as a church family. This just so happens to also be the week in which we as a nation celebrate Valentine’s day a day with mixed reviews in our country. Some people love it, some hate it, but according to a study in 2022 on average 52% of people celebrate in some form or fashion to the tune of the average cost of $192.80 in the name of celebrating it. Some people go out on dates; by the way its the worst day ever to try and go get a steak unless you’d like to wait for the entire evening. Some girls have taken to the celebration of “Galentine’s Day” where they all go out together and celebrate their friends. School exchange spider man valentines and hand out candy, and lets remember anytime you can get candy at school and not have do work is a reason for celebration! One of my most memorable ones however what in college with my dorm. I had a fiance that I would have celebrated with but she was 4 hours away from me on a school night so that wasn’t an option. Instead the guys and I went down to a local creek in bolivar, made a bonfire you could see from space, bought our own steaks, and cooked them over the open fire with sticks we cut and fashioned into skewers. One of the guys said “how am I supposed to eat this thing? Does anyone have a fork or a knife?” I remember Chaz Bell taking his steak out of the fire by his hands and Neanderthal-ing it in his mouth like Bigfoot. This is the way!

Tension

While I’m not seeking to promote or demote Valentine’s day to everyone today I do want to use the opportunity to discuss the reality of Love in it’s proper place. I’ve made not bones about my issues with the American language and the semantics of the word “love” in our world. We say we love our kids, our wife, our God, and that burrito place down the street in the same breath. However, we’d all agree that these “loves” aren’t all created equal to us or even of the same substance.

You might have heard the Greek names for love:

eros- meaning physical love, attraction or desire.

philia- love for a friend

agape- unconditional or sacrificial love

storge- love for ones family

These guys are ones most people know but there are 4 more.

mania- obsessive love- like a stalker towards victim

ludus- which is courtship in the greek

pragma- a sort of obligational love

and philautia (fil-au-tia) - meaning narcissism or self-esteem or even huburis

And while these help us better distinguish the fact that all love is different in its object and its purpose it doesn’t give us the real center of what it is. Thinking on the phenomenon of love in general we get many mixed messages and struggles the come into our lives, oftentimes because of relationships gone bad when love didn’t work out the way it was supposed too. One of the great philosophers of our time, Tina Turner famously asked “what’s love got to do with it?” So was she right? Is love just a second hand emotion or does it go beyond what our culture gets. Let’s dive in to the book of 1st John today and see if we can find the origin of love and use that to help us consider ourselves this morning.

Truth

1 John 4:16–21 (ESV)

16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.

18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

19 We love because he first loved us.

20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Pray

Application

So let’s unpack this passage and see how it can shape our understanding and application of love in our relationships.

16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

First off, in verse 16 a couple things are brought to our attention. The book, written by John to his readers to encourage them in the midst of rising false teachers to deny the full divinity and humanity of Christ, seeks to help them reaffirms the core of their beliefs. Sound doctrine, obedience to what they’ve seen and heard, and a love the is baked into all of are the defining characteristics they should all live under. And inside of that goal, we find of the central arguments of John for who God is, is this love thing.

We have come to know and to believe in the (unconditional love/agape) that God has for us. That God is (agape), and that whoever abides in love abides in God and God abides in him.

God IS love. We’ve all said that, heard it said, and our culture has even embraced so of this as well. This message has been used and even twisted at times to ironically, endorse or lift up sinful actions that betray the love that God has shown and asks us to show.

We’ve heard slogans and seen the t-shirts that even use this passage to say that “God is love and love is love” but is that a correct application of the words here? In short: No. But lets look at why.

God’s love here is on full display. It is an unconditional love that emanates from him-God, to us-the subject of his love. The greek here helps us see that his is unconditional love meaning we didn’t earn it or qualify for it but that he gives it to us freely simply because of who he is. We might use the term “grace” here to describe it. Secondly, we see that the source of this love is Him. It’s not a characteristic that he chooses to have this moment and might choose to not have in the next moment, no, this is a primary characteristic, an immutable one, one that “is” him. It’s part of who he is. Moreover, it ties those that follow him/abide in him/live for him to be marked by this kind of love too. Almost as if to say those that are marked by this love get it because God has infused them or moved into their lives.

17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.

Verse 17 helps us to see that this love can be “perfected” in us. “By this” of course, referring to us abiding in his love and therefore in God’s design for it and participating with the spirit of God that abides within us to convert us over to this image of Christ, the very image of this love. It might be an imperfect love at them moment but the more you lean in, the more you abide, the more you cooperate, the more it becomes made perfect. One side affect of this love, as John points out to his discouraged readers, caught up in the storm of false teachings, is that if you have this love in your life you can walk into the judgement seat of Christ with confidence. Studies tell us that 20% of our population openly fears death in a way that impacts their normal lives. Imagine being freed from that fear, KNOWING (not guessing, not hoping, not 2nd star to the right and straight on to morning) that you had no fear when walking into the presence of Jesus. Not because you know you are worthy or without sin but because you know that you’ve been made over by Christ. That love oozes from every part of who you are and has transformed you. His love has been given to us to continue to be a force for his good will toward sinful man while we await his return. We are his agents to carry his message and this love goes with us as we do it.

18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Now, verse 18 is often used in many ways but only makes full sense when put back into its context. We’ve all heard people use this verse to tell us that we need to stop the worry and anxiety in our lives. After all, to be racked with such things is to be void of love. You need to love more or be better at it in an if you where you’d find that worry dissolve like snow on a mount Vernon snow day. However, look at what is actually be said here.

The fear that he is directly referencing is the fear that these believers had planted into them by these false teachers. They had been led to believe that they needed something extra in order to be made clean by God. That walking into the presence of the Lord was more of a fear inducing panic than a reason for hope and celebration. Instead John comforts them with truth.

A quick aside here folks: isn’t it a beautiful thing when we realize that the truth really does set you free. That lies might help us feel good in the moment but that the truth is the ultimate freedom. These poor folks had been led to believe that their faith and trust in Jesus was not enough. They they where not enough but the truth is that Christ’s love dispels that false doctrine.

Fear is a thing you feel when you know you deserve a punishment.

I remember when I was a kid I had a couple rules the girls did not have, written into me from the time I was little by my dad using some sort of man code that, as best as I can figure it, was an amalgam of some bible, some of my Grandpa Jim, some dashes of John wayne, and alot of clint eastwood thrown in for flavor. Never cuss in front of women and don’t you ever lay your hands on your mother or your sisters.

One issues with that is that when you sisters are evil, they can and will use whatever dad says against you in a court of law.

One day, my sister beth, who couldn’t have been more than about 5 or 6 at the time, was arguing me about something. I still have no idea what but I remember the conversation changing as Beth didn’t get her way and started to fake cry for some reason. The reason became clear instantly as she opened up her mouth and the words came out, “Dad Juston just hit me.” My eyes widened to the size of coffee cups as I was whisked away in an instant, teleport as it where by my arm to my dad’s bed room, my feet not fully touching the floor. I was then put in the position to ready myself for my “swats of justice.” Now, some of you grew up with time outs, some of you with chores, or “go to your room. Some of you might have even got a spanking once or twice but my dad believed in his belt. Nothing quite brought fear into your heart as that piece of leather being unsheaved from those belt loops and most of the time you just prayed that he used the right part of the belt and didn’t mix it up with the buckle end. Dad was exceptional at raising you up off the ground so well that at times I would stuff my pants with paper to lighten the blow, that is until i got caught one time. Dad delivered 5 blows so fast that I hadn’t fully registered, nor been able to explain the injustice to him. Knowing that no matter what I was going to say would fall on an unsympathetic judge, I got up, tears streaming down my cheeks, walked into the living room where Beth stood with a look of self-satisfaction mixed with “ahahhahahh” and I laid her out with one punch. I promptly turn back around, walked back into my dad’s room and bent over for my punishment. If you’re gonna get the punishment, it seemed fitting that you do the crime, at least that was my justification. Dad was laughing so hard that he couldn’t spank me a second time, to my surprise.

I knew that the punishment was coming the second time but the first time caught me unaware. Fear in a tricky thing and many feel it when it comes to their relationship with their God. They hear things like grace, forgiveness, justification, atonement, new creation, no condemnation and say that they believe it but still parts of the unquietness in their souls thing that God is waiting around the corner with his belt, ready to deliver the death blow. “Was I good enough? Did I do enough? Did I pray enough? Give enough? Go enough? Share enough?” That fear is palpable for some and it forever stains the way they feel about God and think he feels about them.

However, John, rightly explains that such a fear is felt by the one who doesn’t know God’s love fully and rightly. One who knows it, dwells in it, has tasted and seen the goodness and grace of it first hand is changed by it. They no longer fear God because they have been made over, changed entirely, made new by his love. It now defines them. Then we come the crux of this passage.

19 We love because he first loved us.

The love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, generosity, favor, peace, that God shows towards us originated from him and did so while we were offering nothing. No bribes had been given nor recieved, no righteousness had been attained by us, no punishments had been given nor paid. Instead we see that God extended that love first. And not to the righteous (because, btw there are none) but to sinners like us. Tax collectors, adulterers, thieves, the self-righteous, and the broken. He took the first step. The story of God’s love stretches from the Garden to the Grave, from the resurrection to the revelation. Men rejected God, his laws and his love and it still kept persuing them. He gave them grace kindness and mercy. He gave them another chance and they’d beg for forgiveness and he’d grant it. Then they’d mess up again and he’d show mercy again. It went on like that for a long time until and would still be that way until Christ stepped in. He paid the price demanded by our sin, took that penalty upon himself and paid our debt. He showed love first. A love that cost him his own life, which btw, he willingly gave for you.

We love because he loved us first. Not because we where worthy or deserved it but because He loves. God is love. Jesus is agape. He gives freely his love to those that don’t deserve it. He shows us the way.

20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Now is where we have to be precise in the world we live in. I want to say a couple things: 1st. This verse if very clear. You cannot hate your brothers and sisters and say that you are under the same kind of perfected love that Christ gives you and expects out of you. In essence, you can’t declare your tree is an apple tree if oranges are hanging off of it. And hate for your brother is a fruit that doesn’t grow off of Christ’s tree. 2ndly. Our world has sadly become confused as of late about what hate actually is and what it is not.

Case in point, during the super bowl an organization spent $7-million for a 30 second ad to broadcast the message of “He gets us.” The message showed pictures of various people representing various groups washing each other’s feet. The goal is to try and paint a picture of the divisions that the world has set up between people and juxtapose that with Jesus’ goal to wash feet and serve, seek, and save the lost. I think it did its intended purpose in sparking alot of conversations, especially among the church going crowd. Some declared something wrong with the message and the website, not fully being able to put their finger on what it was while other laud it as a great message, even if it was a colossal waste of 7 million dollars. After all, how many feet can you wash with 7mil?

However, this passage being the lens by which we see such things there are two parts of the gospel message that are fully necessary.

First- the bad news. We are sinners. Not just people who can’t get it right all the time. Sin is a real condition in which we are not just weak, not just failures, not just stragglers but enemies of God. Colossians 1:21

Colossians 1:21 (ESV)

21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds,

Romans 3:23 (ESV)

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

This is the part of the gospel message that you won’t find anywhere on the “He Gets Us” website. As they express it:

How can we rediscover the life and teachings of Jesus, the world’s most radical love activist? That is our agenda at He Gets Us: to move beyond the mess of our current cultural moment to a place where all of us are invited to rediscover the love story of Jesus.

But, just choosing to tell one side of the story is not telling all of it. Jesus came to seek and save sinners. He washed feet yes, but he also called out people’s sin and used it to point them toward their need for God. While he does in fact “get us” he doesn’t condone our sin as a part of the story. Remember, he came to set those, captive to their sin, free from it. He doesn’t save you so that you can stay locked in your sin. He sets you free so you can walk in freedom from it.

Second-the good news. Yes Jesus does get us but that's what he came to save us from. We are the issue. He didn’t come to baptize our sin or condone our sin nature. Repenting and turning away from that nature is the start of salvation. The good news of this passage is that we can expereince freedom from our sin if we will repent of it, turn to Jesus, believe in our heart that Christ came, died, was buried and raised from the dead on the 3rd day. If we beleive in our hearts and confess with our mouths, we will be saved.

This is what is meant by “he first loved us.” While we were enemies he took pity on us out of love and died for us. He calls us to take that same compassion, that same pity on our world around us. We can’t hate our brothers and sisters around us an claim the love of Christ dwells in us. However, as we’ve discussed, standing on the truth of sin and the necessity to live in the truth and repent of that sin is not hateful. Little white lies or big old normal ones are not loving or compassionate. We are sinners in need of savior. And it might seem mean in the moment to tell a group of kids shooting hoops in the street that they need to get out of the road but its so much better than seeing them hit by the oncoming truck. This is love. This is Christ’s love. This is love perfected in him and given to us. A love that must be shown and displayed to our world. A love that stands on the truth of the word of God and the hope that is only found in the salvation he brought and gives to all.

If we will but receive it.

Landing