Emotions Matter

Now that you have read 1 Samuel 25, I am going to ask you a question that your coach will ask in some variation or form in groups. Have your emotions ever got the better of you? Yeah? Have you ever lost control of your emotions? Have you ever regretted something you have done because of your emotions? Anger, fear, lust, passion, envy, jealousy, anxiety, the list can go on and on. Probably not a surprise to you, but i am working on it, but I can get angry real fast. Similar to david I can go from chill to boiling in 2 seconds. And i remember when I lived in North Carolina, Karlee and the kids were in Az for vacation and karlee and I got into a big fight about something, and I got so upset that I punched one of those Ikea box shelves, and my fist went straight through it. Instantly I thought to myself, really…you let yourself get so angry that you broke it. Then another thought, well it's already broken, might as well as get more of your frustration out and I killed this inanimate object.

Today we are in part 6 of our series guardrails. And you should know this by know what is a guardrail? “A system designed to keep vehicles from steering into dangerous or off-limit areas.” And Guardrails do two primary things. They Direct and Protect. Guardrails are never placed in the danger zone, they are placed in the safety zone. Nobody argues that we should change it closer to the danger zone. They are also designed to minimize damage. If you hit a guardrail you might have to go to a mechanic, not the morgue.

The highway isn't the only place we need guardrails. We need guardrails in every area of our life. Because guardrails are personal standards of behavior.  But as you know and as we have said Culture doesn’t encourage guardrails. Because culture doesn’t like rules. Culture is content with painted lines. Culture doesn't want to have guardrails but will do nothing to help when you end in a ditch. And a guardrail does not fall into what is right and wrong, but rather what is wise and unwise. And we have said this Based on my past experiences, my present circumstances and my future hopes and dreams what is the wise thing to do?

And today we are going to quickly look over the idea that we have to guard our emotions before our emotions gouge us. We have to control our emotions before our emotions control you. But like we said, all of us have a story, or many stories of times where our emotions have driven us into a ditch, where they wrecked an evening, an event, a family vacation. Some of you have stories of your parents who are filled with anger, or ruined their marriage due to lust, who are jealous of what others have. The list can go on.

So lets look at this story real quick view of 3 people, 3 different emotions, and 3 different outcomes.

The first verse says this, “Now Samuel had died.” Samuel was the profit to israel, and he was the one if you remember who anointed David to be the next king. Do you think David would have loved this guy like a friend or father? Yes…he would have. And so when he dies what happens when someone close to you dies what emotions do you have? Grief, sadness, anger? But what do most people, men specifically do when they experience all these emotions? They bottle them up. Store it all up, they don't have healthy guardrails to let it out, rather they put on a face and pretend nothing is wrong. Which is unhealthy as we will see.

So we are introduced to Nabal and Abigail. Nabal is an incredibly rich, mean man, and Abigail was a babe and was incredibly intelligent. Meaning as you read she knew how her husband worked, and how she could control her emotions and not let them get the best of her. David send a convoy to Nabal saying, you know who I am, I am the anointed next king of israel, on the run from saul at this time. And without you knowing it, me and my men over the course of the last several weeks have been protecting you, your sheep, you land and we have not taken anything from you. Please will you spare food, water, drink for us since the festival is coming.

Nabal was a wicked man, a hard man, and a prideful man. Which lets be honest, pride is not just another emotion. Pride simultaneously makes you believe that you are great and others are less. Pride is what gets people arrested above the law, or make stupid decisions gets them into car accidents, pride pushes peopel away, and pride makes you feel invinciable. This is what Nabal was, prideful. He basically says, “Who is this David, and who does he think he is? He's just another servant who ran away from his master.”

Now this message gets back to David, and remember what we said in verse one, Samuel is dead, david is in grief, he doesn't have a healthy outlet our guardrails to direct him or protect him, he has all this emotion bottled up, so what does he do? He BLOWS UP in anger…have you ever said “im going to kill him/her…I’m going to beat them up, while you were angry. Yes. Did any of you actually take a next step to try and do it? No.” David did, watch this, “Each of you strop on your sword! So they did, and David strapped on his as well. About four hundred men went up with David.”

David is on his way to slaughter everyone and abigail hears it, and she doesnt allow fear to take over, rather she hears whats happening and acts quickly. She gets supplies for david and his men, she meets david and bows down before him and says “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you: hear what your servant has to say. Please play no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name, which means fool.” She is level headed, Abigail isnt over come with fear, rather she develops and plan, and in her plan she has just enough time to talk Daivd down and she even tells him what would happen if he allowed his anger and frustration to fulfill itself. Watch “My lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant.” What would it look like if you have a voice in your head, or the future you or an abigail who told you what would happen before it happened. What would it look like in the hight of your emotions someone said the things you would avoid if you didnt follow through with them?

Abigail stops david, and tells him that if you go through with this, you will enter your kingdom, you will enter your kingship with a weighted burden because you were offended and you killed people for it. And David stopped and listened to her and says, “Praise be to the Lord, the God os Israel, who has sent you to me today. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands.” In other words, thank God you made me pause. Because if you didn't listen to what david would have done, “Otherwise, as surly as the Lord, the God is Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.”

What we see next is Abigail goes home, Nabal is having a feast, he has a heart attack, and he dies 10 days later and Abigail, who stopped David in his tracks, becomes David's wife.

Now why this story and why guardrails. This is the main point I want you to get, If you allow your emotions to dictate your decisions it almost always leads to disaster. If you allow you anger to dictate your decisions, if you allow your fear, your lust, your passion, your anxiety, your pride to dictate your decisions if almost always leads to disaster. Nabal allowed his pride to make a decision that would have cost him and his entire family and servants their lives. David not dealing with his grief, boiled over to anger at being disrespected would have killed innocent people.

It was Abigail who had a level head and showed David the right guardrail. Do you know what it was…she made him pause. And she made him think. In his anger, she got in his way, to pause, and made him think about what he was doing.

Your emotions matter, however they should not be the driver of your life. So here is one guardrail, there can be several more that you come up with, but this one should be the one that guards your first.

When I feel an emotion bubbling up, when I feel overtaken by anger, when I feel the desire of lust, when I feel the insecurity of envy, when I feel the tightness in my chest of anxiety, the list can go on. Pause, Breath, slowdown, sitdown, do something that will make you pause, and think, is what I am about to do wise? Is what I am about to say wise, is what I am about to watch wise, is it wise?

Pause and think is this the wise thing to do? Would God in heaven think that what I am about to do wise. If Jesus were standing next to me would he approve of my next step. Emotions are tricky, they can drive you into a ditch before you even knew you lost control of the car. That is why you must learn early to Pause and think before you act.

Why? I’ve said it before, If you allow your emotions to dictate your decisions it almost always leads to disaster.

It happened for Nabal, it would have happened for David, but thank God for Abigail who made David Pause and think.