GOD'S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE

Understanding the Origins of Marriage

It is my earnest prayer that a few things have become crystal clear to us during our study on the Sermon on the Mount. First, God is holy. He is so high above us. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways. And because of that, His standard is perfection. Second, we are so exceedingly sinful that we can’t save ourselves. By our own merits, we stand condemned by a Holy, perfect, and righteous God. If something is not done about our condition, we are destined for eternal punishment in hell. And lastly, in light of these two truths, we are in desperate need of a Savior! We know that we are powerless to save ourselves. We need someone to be our substitute. We need someone to live the perfect life that we have failed to live. We need someone to take the punishment that we deserve. And we need someone to defeat an enemy that is too powerful for us to defeat. That enemy is death. And Christ has come to accomplish this substitutionary, saving work by His perfect life, sacrificial death, and glorious resurrection.

In our study on the Sermon on the Mount, we have been learning what kind of people will be in the Kingdom of Heaven. And what we have found out is that unless our righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, we will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The Pharisees thought that they could earn God’s favor by their strict obedience to the Law. They saw the Law as the cure that would rid them of their sins and get them to heaven. And in looking at the Law in that way, they got everything wrong. The Law was never meant to be the cure for our sin. It was supposed to be a thermometer to show us how sick we are. And it does that by not only showing us our sinful actions, but also by revealing our sinful hearts. We have been seeing that the Pharisees thought that as long as they didn’t commit the physical acts of sin, they were righteous before God. Jesus has made it clear that outward obedience isn’t enough. Our sinful thoughts, motives, and desires condemn us as well. And He has taken us through the commandments against murder and adultery to prove His point. This week we are going to see what Jesus has to say about the scribes and Pharisees misunderstanding the commandments regarding divorce. Let’s read our passage today.

During the time of Christ’s earthly ministry, there was a controversy about divorce between two rival rabbinic schools. Rabbi Shammai took a strict view of Deuteronomy 24 and concluded that the only ground for divorce was a grave offense; something indecent or unseemly in the spouse. Rabbi Hillel, on the other hand, taught that you could get a divorce for any cause. If your wife burned your dinner, or you were no longer attracted to her, you were free to pursue divorce. Apparently, the Pharisees subscribed to the second view of divorce. And because of that, divorce was rampant. In light of this, it is no wonder that Jesus began to discuss divorce after His teaching on adultery. For when you are free to divorce for the smallest of offenses, then it is inevitable that you will begin looking for greener pastures. You will begin desiring and lusting for what you don’t have. So in light of this, what does Jesus teach us about divorce? I read something interesting by a pastor this week. He said that when someone asked him about divorce, he refused to answer their questions until he first talked about marriage and reconciliation. That intrigued me because Jesus took that same approach in Matthew 19:3-9. Turn with me and let’s read what He has to say.

See Matthew 19:3-9… Reference Genesis 2:21-24...

We are going to try to take a page from Jesus’s playbook. Before we try to understand Scripture’s teaching on divorce, we need to first look at what it teaches about marriage and reconciliation. That’s what we are going to do this week. Next week, we will look at the Biblical teaching on divorce. So to begin with, what is the origin of marriage? And from a Biblical perspective, who can get married?

2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

Biblical Reasons for Marriage

The Glory of God

1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

2. Partnership

Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.””

3. Procreation

Genesis 1:28 “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.””

4. Pleasure

Proverbs 5:18–19 “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”

5. Provision

In the instructions to husbands and wives throughout God’s Word, we see that husbands and wives are called to care for each other and to strive to provide for each others’ needs; whether they are financial, physical, emotional, or spiritual needs. (See Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3:18-19, 1 Peter 3:1-7)

6. Purity

1 Corinthians 7:9 “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

7. Picture

See Ephesians 5:22-23...

Reconciliation in Marriage

If our marriages are supposed to be a picture of Christ and the church, then forgiveness and reconciliation must be a central component in our marriages.

Ephesians 4:31–32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Colossians 3:12–14 “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

It is by remembering the tender kindness, compassion, patience, and forgiveness that Christ has freely given us, that we are empowered and equipped to show forgiveness to our spouses.

Luke 17:3–4 “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.””

1 Corinthians 13:4–8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

John 6:37 “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.”

Discuss Hosea...

John Chrysostom made a connection with this passage and the Beatitudes. He said: “For he that is meek, and a peacemaker, and poor in spirit, and merciful, how shall he cast out his wife? He that is used to reconcile others, how shall he be at variance with her that is his own?”