The power of friendship

Read Proverbs 18:24

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Friendship.

As a middle or high schooler,

there is arguably nothing as important as having friends.

As long as you have friends, everything is going to be ok!

The importance of friendship is even widely celebrated in pop culture.

I know some of you,

may not be into anime.

But those of you who are,

know that 70% of anime is all about:

the power of friendship. (anime picture)

And if you aren’t into anime,

you need to get into it now.

But jokes aside,

having friends is important. (FBC youth picture use year in 2023 slides for pics)

And it’s so important,

that even the Bible,

has entire chapters’ worth

of content about friendship.

Especially in the book of Proverbs.

So I want to ask you guys a question:

What is a friend?

Define the word friend.

Here’s the Bible’s answer:

Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)

A friend loves at all times

The Bible says that a friend,

is someone who loves;

We remember that to love means to sacrifice oneself for another despite feelings.

For example, helping one another, even if you have to sacrifice some time to do so.

But this verse also says,

‘at all times’.

So it’s not just once a year,

you do this.

But a friend is makes himself available as much as possible,

to be there,

for one another.

So that’s why this message is titled,

The power of friendship.

Because even God’s word,

agrees that friendships are powerful.

So first,

I want to talk about how to be a good friend.

1. How to be a good friend

And there are four things,

according to this helpful commentary,

The first is:

A. Be available

In Proverbs,

there is a lot of discussion,

about fake friends.

Fair-weather friends.

Friends whose availability,

who are as unpredictable,

as Maryland weather.

One day it’s 30 degrees,

and the other day it’s 60 degrees,

in February.

Your invite your friend to chill on Thursday,

and he says, ‘ayt bet’.

But then at the last minute on Thursday,

He says, ‘srry can’t make it’

You all experienced that,

and guess what,

God knows all about it.

How many of Jesus’ friends showed up when it mattered most at the cross?

Not many.

That’s why, Pro 18:24 says,

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

A true friend,

is so available,

that he is even closer than your brother.

He’s there for you at any time.

So if you want to be a good friend students, be available.

B. Be candid

The word candid,

is like the word honest.

So why not just say, ‘be honest’?

Because being cadid,

means to be proactively honest.

To just be honest, means you are reactively,

responding,

with the truth.

But being candid,

is telling your friend the truth,

in advance.

You address,

the elephant in the room.

You notice a pattern in your friend that’s not good and you say,

‘Hey man, you gotta chill with all the jokes’.

Sometimes it goes too far.

And speaking of going too far with jokes,

this leads us to the next point:

C. Be tactful

To be tactful,

means to be socially sensitive.

If you are a good friend,

you respect,

your friend’s feelings.

Proverbs 26:18–19 (ESV)

Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!”

A good friend knows the fine line,

of when to stop with the jokes.

Because you respect your friends feelings.

Lastly,

D. Be encouraging

A good friend,

doesn’t just sit back,

and watch his friend suffer in pain.

But tries to be encouraging when possible.

One of the best friendships in the bible,

Is David and Jonathan.

Jonathan was always there for David,

and he always gave good advice and encouragement to David,

when he was stuck in a bind.

1 Samuel 23:16 (ESV)

And Jonathan, Saul’s son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God.

But a good friend is not an ear tickler,

being a yes man,

or saying only good things.

But a good friend can also share healthy feedback,

Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

A good friend is can share his views with his friend,

even if they are different,

and can agree to disagree,

but do it in a way where it doesn’t end in conflict,

but is healthy and encouraging.

So, students,

take at least one of these points,

and try focusing on it,

if you want to be a better friend.

Now lastly,

I want to share one more,

healthy lesson,

the Bible gives on the power of friendship:

2. It’s ok to not have a lot of friends

Let’s look more closely,

at Proverbs 18:24

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

First let’s look,

at the first phrase,

‘a man of many companions may come to ruin’.

What this word is saying,

is that, ‘a person with too many friends,

or a person who makes friends too fast,

hurts himself’.

And when I first saw this verse,

I was kinda shocked.

Because isn’t more better?

But upon reflecting,

there are 3 reasons,

as to why,

having too many friends is harmful.

And I’m going to go from least harmful to most harmful reasons.

A. Waste of time

One simple reason why it’s ok to not have a lot of friends,

is that you are human.

You only have a certain amount of time.

And therefore,

it’s literally impossible,

to be a good friend,

to everyone.

Remember the four ways,

of being a good friend according to the Bible?

Imagine doing that,

with every single person you come across.

You can’t.

And that leads to the next problem,

B. More friends, more expectations

Let’s say you actually tried,

being a good friend,

to every single person you meet.

All of those people,

will now expect,

you to continue doing that.

And when you fail to continue being a good friend,

to too many people,

they will all despise you for it.

Now, you will be seen,

as the fake friend.

But these expectations,

don’t only,

apply to others,

it apples to you too.

Which is out final point:

C. More friends sets you up to be more disappointed

Emotions,

are like water.

Making friends is basically making emotional investments,

into other people.

You are pouring out water,

unto others,

so to speak.

And so as an investment,

there has to be some,

sort of return,

even a little.

And as Christians,

we are taught,

to give and love,

without expecting things in return.

But as humans,

putting yourself,

in that scenario,

where you invested in so many people,

no matter how spiritually mature you are,

you will be disappointed.

I shared this before,

but when I was at another church.

I was so involved in ministry.

I was involved in 3;

Young adults/college,

international (primarily 60s-80s year old),

and newly married couples (primarily 20s-30s).

And I made friends,

with so many people.

And I tried to be there,

for as many of them as possible.

And then one day.

Assuming the friendship was mutual.

I asked a group of dudes who I thought were friends,

a couple of them,

I even made my groomsmen,

to hang out,

when I heard they were having a hang out,

and they flat out rejected me.

I was devastated.

That hurt.

And that’s what scripture says.

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

A man of many companions may come to ruin

So students, I don’t want that for you.

But here,

is some encouragement.

The last phrase of the verse says,

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

What’s fascinating,

about this verse,

is that it goes from plural to singular.

You see it goes from many friends,

to a friend.

One friend.

At the end of the day students,

you only need a handful of friends.

True friends.

In fact you really only need one close friend,

according to this verse.

If you have more than one,

true close friends,

you are beyond,

blessed.

These friends are so close,

they are closer than your family.

And that’s all you really need.

This doesn’t mean,

your mom,

or your sister or brother,

can’t be your true friend.

They can be!

It just may not be as common.

So here are a few things to do,

when recognizing,

it’s ok to not have a lot of friends.

A. Realize one true friend, is better than a thousand

We talked about this already.

B. Thank God for the true friends that you do have

These friends are truly special,

because they are closer than your family.

For me, that’s Maybelle.

I want you to think of who that is in your life,

and thank God for it.

C. Friends come and go, and that’s ok

Especially for those of you who are moving,

or are graduating high school.

When you realize you don’t need a lot of friends,

you won’t be so depressed,

when you move or graduate,

and you don’t talk to some of these people anymore.

I myself, have done this,

I’ve moved so many times,

I lost many friends,

but this verse is so encouraging to me,

and I hope it is for you too.

D. Jesus is the ultimate friend

If you can’t think of a true friend,

I want you to remember,

that Jesus Christ is the ultimate friend.

John 15:13 (ESV)

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

The ultimate friend,

will die for you.

And that’s what Jesus Christ has done for you,

if you are a Christian, and you put your faith in Him.

He is always with you,

no matter where you go,

no matter how many times you move,

he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Gospel/conclusion

I want to conclude,

with those of you who may not know Jesus as your friend.

To realize that eternal loneliness is a real thing,

and it is coming on those who have not put their faith in Him,

But the Good News,

is that Jesus Christ died on the cross for his friends,

so that He would be the substitute for the wrath that they deserved.

And He rose again, to show what happens to people when they believe in Him,

they become a new creation.

How do you receive this?

Not by good works or being a good person.

Because Jesus offers eternal life to you as a free gift.

All you have to is take it.

Just put your faith in Him,

and you’ll be saved today.

Let’s pray.