Growing UP

Grow up why don’t you!

How many of us when were growing up have ever been told to ‘grow up?’

I suppose for some or even many here it is a phrase that have been said numerous of times, I for one remember being told this frequently, especially in my adult years.

So, how does one determine if we’re grown up? What is the standard of growing up? What are your thoughts?

Well, we need to look at the context or definition of growing up right?

Physical growth

There is physical growth, growth of the skeletal and muscular system. There is healthy growth and there is unhealthy growth for all people and of course that is all dependent on the individual and whether they are eating healthy or if they’re active.

Genetics as well as environment are other factors that play a role with physical growth.

However, was this what people meant to ‘grow up’? Because I sure failed in that area.

Mental growth

Obviously the area of concern for most is for me to grow mentally to be mature and to act my age correct?

But, there we go again, by what standard do we measure this?

I’ve always said that we grow up into older people but do we mature as we age?

What is the standard for maturity for whatever age we’re in?

In recent years, there has been an increasing case of adults displaying tantrum behaviours, something that we usually see in children.

These are adults, yelling and screaming, and making a scene when things don’t go their way. Now, some of these episodes can be due to past traumatic experiences and thus flight and fight is engaged and hence their yelling and screaming.

However, in most cases, there are adults that need to mature themselves, yet still what is maturity for adults?

Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages

Around the 1950s, a man by the name of Erik Erikson in collaboration with his wife made a comprehensive psychoanalytical theory that identifies the eight stages of a developing individual from infancy to adulthood.

As you can see from the table, this was Erikson’s interpretation of an individual psychosocial growth.

Now for you Alex, being an Adolescence you supposedly should be in a stage 5 of identity vs. confusion.

This is a time for you questioning who you are and what you want to accomplish. Here you’re exploring and seeking your unique identity as you look to your personal beliefs, goals and values.

But while you’re trying to identify who you are in this world, you are also being asked to conform to the views of others. Such as your parents, your friends, and other outside influence and this may cause for yourself some confusion to your identity.

But, Alex, I only ask you to look to the one that created you and see what He wants of you to become. He alone knows you and your identity and the fact that you’re making this next step in your journey on this earth shows to everyone here that you have made your choice.

The virtue according to Erikson in your stage Alex is ‘Fidelity’ and that is characterised by the quality or state of being faithful or loyal. But faithfulness and loyalty can only be achieved through continual devotion.

Devotion through prayer and through the reading of His Word. Devotion through listening and improving yourself day by day and most importantly being loyal to those you love especially to Jesus.

James Fowler stages of Faith

In 1981, Reverend and Doctor James Fowler published a book called the ‘Stages of Faith’ where he observed the development process of human faith.

Using the theory of Jean Piaget’s theory of cognitive development and Lawrence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development, he came up with this table.

For you Alex, according to Fowler, you’re in stage 3 ‘Synthetic-Conventional’ faith where you are conforming to the authority and the religious development of a personal identity.

Here, anything that conflicts with your belief you will ignore out of fear of any inconsistencies that would alter your faith identity.

But let me say this to you and to everyone here:

Our faith journey is full of conflict and inconsistencies, that is what life is all about. When we encounter conflict or inconsistencies this is where we grow up and ask God how He can help us overcome and grow up.

To grow in faith

2 Timothy 2:15 NLT

15 Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.

In the same letter to Timothy Paul writes:

2 Timothy 3:15–17 NLT

15 You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

The counsel from Paul is for you to study the Scriptures, for the Scriptures isn’t about salvation only but it is also to equip you to do the work that He has set for you.

Let His Word be your guide to help you make the right choices and receive and seek His approval rather than the approval of man.

1 Peter 2:1–3 NLT

1 So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. 2 Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, 3 now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness.

Grow up! Not by the standards of man, but by the Lord’s standard that you may experience salvation and His love.

To do the good work that He would want you to do so His name can be glorified through you and that others may know that we serve a living and loving God.

Ephesians 4:11–15 NLT

11 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. 14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.

You see, the standard for growing up should be His Word, many of us can make mature decisions but when we rely on ourselves then we’re susceptible to falling and failing when things don’t go our way or when things go wrong.

However, when we submit to His Word and follow Him as our standard, all the choices and decisions we make or whatever come what may will be made through His wisdom and leading.

So mature in the Lord, measure up to the full and complete standard of Christ, this message isn’t for Alex but is for everyone as well. There is a work that needs to be done but we need to grow up in the Lord and speak the truth in love and grow every way more and more like Christ.

And if we fulfill this daily, we will be equipped daily to do His good works and taste of the Lord’s kindness daily.