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Investigate and Make Changes

What does investigating and making changes have to do with anything?

Charles Duhigg, who wrote The Power of Habit, made famous the idea of the “habit loop.” The habit loop consists of cue, routine, and reward. If your habit is overeating before bed, the loop might go like this. Cue: You sit down with your spouse or friends to watch a show and you see a commercial with food. Routine: You go check the fridge and find something tasty. Reward: Your body releases positive chemicals as you eat the food and enjoy your company. The result is a self-perpetuating habit.

When we’re breaking an old habit or making a new one, we’ll likely run into some serious struggle along the way. Sometimes that struggle has to do with the habit loop. If you’re the person who’s breaking the habit of overeating before bed, you’ll want to make sure you’ve discovered what the cue really is. Maybe it’s not the food commercial, but just the act of watching a show, getting together with friends, or any other number of things that triggers you. You’ll also want to think about your routine. Do you just check the fridge because you’re bored, because it’s ritual, or because you’re truly hungry? The reward is vital. Is it the food or is it the act of sharing food with company that you enjoy? Maybe you’re just nervous when certain people are over, or maybe you eat and watch shows to avoid conversations you need to have with your spouse.

When we feel like we just can’t break out of the habit loop, let’s stop, investigate, and then make changes. Also, let’s wield the habit loop for making good habits as we develop positive cues, healthy routines, and the right rewards.

Here’s the thing about making or breaking the habit loop that most books won’t tell you: There is always a way. How do we know? In 1 Corinthians 10:13, the Apostle Paul tells us God is faithful—He will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. But when we are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that we can endure it. So let’s investigate, make changes, rely on God, ask people for help, and keep taking the next step as He guides us forward.

Consider: What are my cues? How can I replace negative cues with positive ones? Where are my routines leading me? What are the rewards of my habit? Are they what God has for me?

James 1:12

Ephesians 4:22-24

Small Wins

In his book Atomic Habits James Clear argues relentlessly for the power of small, daily wins. He challenges us to become one percent better each day. Pastor Craig says, “Small disciplines done consistently lead to big results over time.” If you want to run a marathon one day, create an identity goal to enjoy running and a small keystone habit of running at least one minute each day for the first week of your habit. Make your new habit easy and obvious. Allow yourself to grow in strength and discipline incrementally—one day at a time.

Habits aren’t grand destinations you arrive at one day—they’re tiny steps you take every day. Some of the most important small wins you can make are often called keystone habits. The fastest way to comprehend keystone habits is to learn what a keystone is. A keystone is an architectural term for the wedge-shaped stone that would sit at the top and center of an arch of bricks or stones. Each stone in the arch pushes its weight toward the keystone, and the triangular shape of the keystone wedge causes the entire arch to be supported.

If you remove the keystone, the entire structure falls down. In biology, a keystone species is one that an ecosystem depends on. Likewise, a keystone habit provides support and momentum for other habits in your life.

Most books about habits will tell you about keystone habits, and they should, but what they might not tell you is that there is yet another stone. Jesus called Himself the cornerstone which is a stone used to provide the same kind of support for the entire construction of a building. You can get all your keystone habits right and still come tumbling down if they’re not built on a foundation with Jesus as its cornerstone.

Here’s a short list of keystone habits to consider. Which can you add to your life? Have you made Jesus the cornerstone?

Wake up early enough to start your day with Jesus.

Sleep at least eight hours a night.

Eat at least one meal together with your family or close friends each day.

Attend a local church weekly, and participate by giving and serving there.

Exercise at least three times a week for at least 20 minutes.

Declare some truths about yourself every day.

Making good daily habits and breaking bad ones is a daily process for the rest of your life.

Here’s a helpful tool to take with you as you make Jesus your cornerstone.

How do I keep my new habits?

As we mentioned earlier, James Clear wrote Atomic Habits with an important premise. He suggests through research and example stories that habits, like the atoms that make up our world, are best when they’re small, incremental pieces that fit together into a healthy whole. So, instead of just deciding to stop drinking, or stop smoking, or whatever, James would suggest you create a series of very small but related habits that work together to reach your ultimate goal of quitting an addiction, losing weight, or using your phone less.

Okay, we get it. You can’t just stop old habits. You need new, incremental, meaningful habits to replace them. But how do I keep those new habits? Well, you’ve actually just read many of the answers to this question.

We need to realize what a habit actually is, and we need to decide which habits we want to change.

A habit is formed when you consistently meet an important need with a chosen behavior. Write your answers to these questions:

What behaviors am I regularly choosing that I don’t want to choose anymore?

What triggers those behaviors?

What important needs am I trying to meet with those behaviors?

What new habits do I want to replace those behaviors with?

We need to acknowledge unmet needs, and we need a healthy identity.

The more difficult the habit is to break, the more likely it’s tied to something deeper that needs healing. This is going to require humility, honesty, and hunger for change. Bring trusted people into your life. Talk to a counselor, a pastor, a healthy friend, and people you love about areas where you may need healing. Use tools like Words to Live By to invite God into these places so you can replace lies and negative self-talk with the truth of God’s Word.