Testimony of a broken body

THIS IS NOT A SERMON. THIS IS THE TESTIMONY OF MY EXPERIENCE WITH GOD AND HIS CHURCH OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.

English Standard Version Chapter 12

14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

The reason I chose this passage to read is because I believe that we left Calvary as a body.

We were a group of:

*Leaders who were bringing the Word,

*Teachers for our children,

*Musicians to lead in worship,

*Servants who poured themselves into each other in love

*Some killer cooks who are the bedrock of every great church ;p

To be honest I strongly disliked church hoping. I didn’t enjoy it at all. My faith was dying when I was revived by God in the family that I found in all of you.

To be removed from this body, so to speak, and placed into another body of believers was the last thing I wanted.

I understand conceptually all Christians make up the singular Body of Christ

But functionally every church operates as a body of its own.

It’s been a long time now. The church that I attend is solid, and good, and great for the kids and all of that.

But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m an organ that’s been transplanted into a body that I don’t belong in.

Now there is nothing wrong if anybody else feels differently. In many ways I hope that you do. I would hope that all of my loved ones would have found peace and fulfillment long before now.

But that is not the case for me.

I walked away from a body where I had a job to do. I was growing and speaking and involved and hungry to do more.

I walked way from Calvary and allowed my hurt to just say forget it all, and throw in the towel. I never produced another message for the podcast, I spoke a time or two before just giving up and deciding that I wasn’t really sure what I thought about any of this.

I lost my desire for God, for church , and for the people of God I’ve come into contact with since then. I’m just not interested

I have been miserable. Miserable because my emotions and my actions are not lining up with what I believe. God created each of us with the ability to perform a function in His Body and I’ve been sitting on my hands for nearly two years.

Slowly it started sinking in that I would be a lot happier if I just lived what I believe. Stop the doubting, and the whining, and the sitting in a sound booth so I don’t have to participate in the actual service, and get back to work in the Body of Christ.

That’s all I’m doing here. I’m getting back to work doing what God had me doing before my heart was broken. I’m a communicator. God has made me with the ability to communicate the gospel. I am far from doing it perfectly, but I am willing to do it.

This building is rented for 6 weeks so far. Call it a leap of faith, an experiment, laying out a fleece, whatever. If you are interested in seeing where this goes I would love to share this time with you. Maybe this grows into something, maybe it doesn’t.

All of you are valuable to me. But more than I want you here, I want you to be whole, and healthy, and in God’s Will.

Intentions:

My family will continue to participate in the church we’ve been attending as we see what this becomes. I’m not asking anyone to jump ship and have yet another church hopping experience.

I would like to supplement the church experience we have now with fellowship we have in this family. The fellowship that I long for with like-minded believers. If this grows enough at some point that we have less need of participating in a separate church then we can reevaluate at that time.

I will come to each service with a sermon prepared and I invite all of you to participate as you are led whether that be as a sermon, or song, or prayer, etc. At the end of this time together let us see where we stand. I have faith that I will grow through this time of working in the Body and if that’s the only thing that comes of it so be it. I’ll take that over sitting on my hands.

It’ been far too long since I’ve been able to say “As for me and my house, We will serve the Lord.”