DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE

It Was Said

Last week, we began to examine how the Pharisees and scribes had an unbiblical view of divorce. During the time of Christ’s earthly ministry, there was a controversy about divorce between two rival rabbinic schools. Rabbi Shammai took a strict view of Deuteronomy 24 and concluded that the only ground for divorce was a grave offense; something indecent or unseemly in the spouse. Rabbi Hillel, on the other hand, taught that you could get a divorce for any cause. If your wife burned your dinner, or you were no longer attracted to her, you were free to pursue divorce. Apparently, the Pharisees subscribed to the second view of divorce. And because of that, divorce was rampant. What we started to see was this truth: before you can understand the Bible’s teaching on divorce, you need to understand it’s teaching on marriage. So we looked at Scripture’s teaching on marriage and reconciliation last week. This week, we will be looking at the Biblical teaching on divorce and remarriage. Let’s read our passage again this morning.

See Matthew 19:3-9...

See Deuteronomy 24:1-4...

The scribes and Pharisees were mistaken. Deuteronomy 24 didn’t command us to divorce. It was allowed in certain cases due to hardened hearts. There is a big difference between commanding and allowing. The command in that passage was related to what they should do if IF they did get a divorce.

But I Say

Mark 10:11–12 “And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.””

1 Corinthians 7:10–11 “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”

Remember, marriage is designed to be a picture of Christ and the church. And that relationship is permanent. In light of that, our goal should always be to honor our marriage vows. Therefore, we should always desire to seek reconciliation and forgiveness.

Colossians 3:12–14 “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Luke 17:3–4 “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.””

If someone were to pursue divorce for unbiblical reasons, and marry someone else, they are guilty of adultery. And according to Christ, the individual who marries that divorced person is also guilty of adultery.

Those things being said, we all know that sometimes people are so hardened in serious sin, that reconciliation becomes next to impossible. Because of that, the Lord, in His kindness, made allowances to seek divorce in certain situations.

Biblical Allowances for Divorce and Remarriage

Sexual Immorality

Matthew 5:32 “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

1 Corinthians 6:15–18 “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

Abandonment by an Unbelieving Spouse

1 Corinthians 7:12–16 “To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”

This brings up a question. What if it is a believer who leaves? Does that change things? And if so, how?

Matthew 18:15–17 ““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

Physical Danger or Harm

Driving someone away with violence is the moral equivalent of abandoning them.

Ephesians 5:28–29 “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,”

Matthew 10:23 “When they persecute you in one town, flee to the next, for truly, I say to you, you will not have gone through all the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.”

See Romans 13:1-4...

Because physical abuse is a criminal offense, we should get the governing authorities involved. In that way, the innocent party is protected, and the offending party is punished. After that happens, if the offending party is a believer, the church should begin the process of church discipline, as well. This is such a serious matter, the state and church should both be involved. The church cannot turn a blind eye to such blatant sin.

So to sum up, as believers in Jesus Christ, we should take our marriage vows very seriously. They are a picture of Christ and the church, so we should strive to make it an accurate picture. We should do everything in our power to keep those vows till death do us part. As believers in Jesus Christ, we can’t pursue divorce for minor offenses, or even for “falling out of love”. We should pursue forgiveness and reconciliation. Remember, we aren’t commanded to seek divorce.

That being said, in cases of sexual immorality, abandonment, or physical abuse, reconciliation isn’t alway possible. In those cases, divorce is allowed. We have the freedom to pursue divorce in those situations. And if we divorce on Biblical grounds, we are free to remarry and start a new life. And if Christ sets you free, you are free indeed (John 8:36).