Justified Week 1-Pausing Anger

WHAT? What are we talking about today?

POLL | How Angry Do You Get?

Welcome to Justified! For the next few weeks, we will discuss something we all experience — anger! Because, let's be honest, we all get angry once in a while. Or a lot.

From one to five, show me on one hand how often you feel angry. One is hardly ever, three is three times a week, and five is daily.

ACTIVITY | Hulk Smash

Do you know who's pretty famous for getting angry? The Incredible Hulk. Typically he's a super-intelligent scientist, but exposure to gamma rays led to the creation of an inner rage monster. For Dr. Bruce Banner, when he gets angry, he gets destructive. In the comics, he can't control his power. His anger turns him into an illogical green monster that destroys everything in his path. The angrier Hulk gets, the more power he has, and when he gets hyper-angry, he pulls his signature move, "Hulk Smash!" Since we're talking about anger today, let's play a game that gives us a glimpse into the destructive power that anger can have.

INSTRUCTIONS: For this activity, you'll need two pairs of Hulk Hands, a lot of plastic cups, and a table. To play, make two teams of four students each. Have each team designate a Hulk, who will wear the "Hulk Hands." The rest of the team will have two minutes to create a city as big and tall as they can out of plastic cups. Cups must be stacked at least three levels high for them to be considered part of the city. Have an adult leader count the number of cups used. After two minutes of building the team, the city with the most cups wins. To conclude the game, the winning team's Hulk smashes the losing team's city. For added difficulty, have the team's hulk be the only one to pass the cups to their team.

Many of us love watching the Hulk because he does what we want to do when we get angry and smash everything. I also think that we relate to him because our anger can get away from us. We lose sight of feelings and reason, making it harder to communicate. It may be a little scary to let our inner Hulks loose.

QUESTION | "What are some things worth getting angry about?"

When we look around the world or think about the hard circumstances our friends and family go through, there is a lot to be angry about. You might even be mad today from an argument with a parent or a caregiver, a challenging moment at school, or that teacher who gave you a bad grade you didn't think you deserved.

Anger indicates a feeling of imbalance or being wronged, so I'm curious, what are some things worth getting angry about?

INSTRUCTIONS: Ask the previous questions and give a few students a chance to respond out loud.

Anger is a strong and personal emotion. We can feel angry when we are wronged, or someone we care about has been wronged. When we think there's a good reason for our anger, we say we're "justified." We believe our anger is legitimate, or we are justified to feel the way we do. When the Hulk gets angry in the comics, he is depicted as a giant monster with no control and can't speak intelligibly. I think that is because when we get mad, that can happen to us too. There are so many emotions happening at once. It might look like anger, but along with that may be shame, bitterness, guilt, ridicule, or jealousy. We aren't the first person to feel this way. So, how do others deal with their anger, and what can we learn from this strong emotion?

SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?

SCRIPTURE | Mark 8:31–33

Jesus and his friends dealt with big feelings like love, confusion, betrayal, and anger. There is a story where Jesus and one of his closest friends exchanged strong words and powerful emotions. At the time, Jesus started to become well-known. He traveled with his disciples, healed the sick, and taught thousands of people. Right before the exchange we're about to read, Jesus performed a miracle by feeding more than 4,000 people. That really got the word out. While talking with his closest friends, Peter made the startling confession that he believed Jesus was the Messiah, the one the people of Israel were waiting for. Jesus told him he was right. This was huge news. But just as it seemed Peter was starting to understand Jesus in a new way, he was thrown a curveball:

Mark 8:31–33 NIV

He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

Jesus started talking about how he will suffer, be rejected, killed, and ultimately resurrected. This didn't sit right with Peter, so he pulled Jesus aside and confronted him. I don't know if Peter was yelling or speaking harshly, but he did not like what Jesus told him. Some translations of the Bible use the word "rebuked," meaning "disapproved." This is the same word Mark uses to describe Jesus’ rebuke of unclean spirits. No matter his tone, Peter didn't like what Jesus was saying. You could say he really hated it.

Peter thought if Jesus was the Messiah, then he was the one who was supposed to make everything better. How could he do that if he is rejected and killed?

QUESTION | Why Did Peter React This Way?

INSTRUCTIONS: Ask the following questions and give a few students a chance to respond out loud.

Why do you think Peter reacted as he did, not believing or understanding what Jesus said?

What do you think Peter was feeling?

There are so many reasons that Peter could have responded the way he did.

Maybe Peter reacted that way because one of his closest friends, the one he saw doing miracles, the one who was changing the world and who they believed would bring freedom to their people, would be unjustly killed.  Maybe he felt ashamed because he was wrong about Jesus. Maybe he felt weak because if what Jesus said was true, Peter didn't have the power to fix it. Peter seemed to be experiencing complicated emotions, and he lashed out at his close friend. When this happened, Jesus turned and rebuked Peter! In Peter's understanding, the Messiah doesn't suffer, die, then return to life. In Jesus' understanding, that's exactly what a Messiah does. Even though Peter didn't understand it, this was God's rescue plan for the world. By telling Jesus he was wrong, Peter was undermining God's plan for the restoration of the world. This is why (even though it seems harsh), Jesus calls one of his closest friends Satan.

OBJECT LESSON | Pain's Bodyguard

We all have experienced anger. Sometimes over friendships, the complicated problems we see in the world, or just a minor inconvenience that triggers Us. All feelings, including anger, are blinking lights, indicating something happening inside us. Maybe your anger is rooted in empathy, witnessing injustice, or self-preservation. So when Peter reacted in anger, there were other emotions at play. Imagine how Peter started to feel a deep pain or loss that he may lose his friend, teacher, and the world's savior. Anger may have been his way of protecting himself from hurting more.

INSTRUCTIONS: For this object lesson, you'll need waded-up pieces of paper and Hulk Hands (optional). Ask for three volunteers who will follow your spoken cues, persons 1, 2, and 3. Give person three the Hulk Hands, and they will try to protect person one at the end.

As you teach say. . . Imagine you are person one on the ground who is hurting. Obstacles hurt, and situations are being hurled your way, represented by these wads of paper thrown by person 2. This paper can represent all types of difficulties.

Maybe something simple like chores we have to do, homework, or showing up at practice on time. Maybe it's confusion around trusting someone. Or uncertainty, confidence issues, or arguments. Now this pain hires an angry bodyguard to protect you from these wads of paper, person 3. Anger is defending you in the face of difficulties. This defense mechanism is a way to protect the parts of us that we feel aren't safe to share. This mechanism isn't always the best idea and doesn't always work, but understanding why we do what we do is essential to our emotional development as we grow up. When we understand our feelings, asking God to help with our circumstances becomes easier.

SCRIPTURE | Psalm 139:23–24

When we acknowledge there is more going on below the surface of our big feelings, we align ourselves with the work God is already doing.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read Psalm 139: 23–24

Psalm 139:23–24 NIV

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

This is from the book of Psalms in the Old Testament. It is a book of poetry and wisdom. Notice the line, "search me and know me." God searches and knows our thoughts and motivations. This means that we are invited to not only search ourselves for why we are angry but also to talk with our God, who knows us well, about why we are feeling the way we are. This psalm invites us to investigate how we feel and welcome God, who loves us, in our search. God knows us better than we know ourselves and can help us understand why we react the way we do. Becoming angry is understandable and natural. At times we get mad and don't know why. When this happens, we are invited to try something new:

When you're angry, pause to ask God why.

NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?

IMAGE | A Hulk Throwing a Fit GIF of Your Choice.

INSTRUCTIONS: As you teach, show a GIF of Hulk throwing a fit like this one on screen.

The psalms and Jesus encourage us to pay attention and trust God, but how do we do that? One way is to use our anger to point to the pain it protects and bring those feelings to God. Since our anger acts like a bodyguard for our pain, it is like our own Hulk. So, when you feel angry, remember to act like the Hulk and throw a few "F.I.T.S."

F: FEEL YOUR ANGER –

Acknowledge that anger is bubbling up and is a powerful emotion. God can handle the full range of human emotions. God created us to feel deeply, so you have permission to recognize this very human experience.

I: INVESTIGATE –

Anger is a bodyguard that might guard other emotions. Take time to investigate what is underneath your anger. You may feel scared, powerful, jealous, sad, or any emotions that can spring from those. Emotions are complicated. Be patient with yourself as you sift through what is happening inside you.

T: TALK WITH GOD –

When we feel stuck in our emotions, God sees us, knows us, and wants the best for us. Go through the process with God. Ask God to show you where your anger might be directing you, and what you might be missing. Connect with God and process what is going on as you worship in your own way, like praying, journaling, or playing an instrument.

S: SHARE IT –

We don't have to do this alone. God wants us to lean on trusted adults and other followers of Jesus around us. Instead of keeping the anger in, share your feelings with someone you trust so they can journey through it with you. Perhaps their own experiences can help you.

STORY | When You Followed Your Anger

INSTRUCTIONS: Tell a story about a time when something made you angry, but you realized there were more emotions below that. What made it so hard to identify the feelings below the surface? How did you connect to the feelings behind the anger? When you paused to ask God why, what happened? What was God's response? You can also invite a volunteer or student to share their experience.

Several years ago, my family was going through a crisis. At a very crucial time during this crisis, someone in my family lied to me. It takes a lot to get me mad, but when I found out the truth, I was furious. I called this individual and confronted them on the phone, and it wasn’t pretty.

After a while, I asked God why this person did this and why it made me so mad.

I was angry because this person hurt me and someone close to me very deeply.

And God showed me quickly that I needed to forgive this person who lied to me so that anger wouldn’t fester in my heart and destroy me. And with God’s help, I did forgive them.

We all have things that make us angry. Maybe for you, it's simply when you haven't had enough to eat that day, or when someone borrows your favorite pen and never gives it back, or maybe it is losing a game. Most of the time, anger is just the first thing we feel.

When you're angry, pause to ask God why.

MUSIC | "You Know Me" (Bethel Music & Steffany Gretzinger)

INSTRUCTIONS: During the following Reflection, play the song "You Know Me" by Bethel Music & Steffany Gretzinger.

REFLECTION | Planning For F.I.T.S.

Anger has so much to tell us about ourselves. It tells us what we're passionate about, what we think justice should look like, how we believe we should be treated, or we are "hangry" and need a snack. Let's get in touch with this gift of anger and learn more about this precious person God gave to the world, us! We will take some time right now to explore a past situation or a recurring situation that makes us angry. This will be a private activity because I want you to be honest. Think of what makes you angry and complete the handout while we listen to music. Anger is a gift, so let's not waste it. Our emotions tell us about ourselves, the things we care about, and why those things affect us so profoundly. Next time,

When you're angry, pause to ask God why.

INSTRUCTIONS: For this activity, you will need the printout for week one and a writing utensil for each student. Create a calm environment for them to reflect on the last time they were angry and attempt to connect what was happening around that issue.

*Prayer*