Emotion Wheel: Surprise

I mentioned that for most of my life I struggled to be in touch with my emotions.

I linked an emotionless life to godliness.

I believed that God was able to move past emotions and simply make the decisions that needed to be made.

But I found myself struggling with that belief.

Eventually, I grew up and discovered that I did feel things.

But I had no language for how I felt.

Until one day, I discovered something on the internet.

It was called an emotion wheel.

Here is what one looks like.

I used to be embarrassed to admit that I needed something like this to put a name to how I felt.

Then I noticed how many of these exist on Google. Try it. Google emotion wheel, click on images, and see how many exist.

What this told me was many, many people need help 1) naming what they feel, and 2) communicating how they feel with others.

I guess I am not alone!

And I learned something about emotions from my friends at DM:

***Emotions are information***

We are going to take one primary emotion around the center of the wheel each week and explore it through a biblical character.

Last week we did Regret (Disgust).

This week, we are going to cover Surprise.

Let’s be interactive.

When I say ‘surprise’ what is the first thought in your mind?

Was it a person? A situation? Yourself?

And object, like money, house, car?

How about here in church?

If I were to suggest ‘surprise, God, scripture, Jesus’ do any of those conjure a different answer in your mind?

How many of you associate surprises with God?

Let’s dispel that idea right now.

The first occurence of ‘surprise’ in relation to God happens in Exodus 15:11-13

Exodus 15:11–13 LSB

“Who is like You among the gods, O Yahweh? Who is like You, majestic in holiness, Fearsome in praises, working wonders? “You stretched out Your right hand, The earth swallowed them. “In Your lovingkindness You have guided the people whom You have redeemed; In Your strength You have led them to Your holy habitation.

The passage comes from the song of Moses…

Genesis 42:1–28 NLT

When Jacob heard that grain was available in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why are you standing around looking at one another? I have heard there is grain in Egypt. Go down there, and buy enough grain to keep us alive. Otherwise we’ll die.” So Joseph’s ten older brothers went down to Egypt to buy grain. But Jacob wouldn’t let Joseph’s younger brother, Benjamin, go with them, for fear some harm might come to him. So Jacob’s sons arrived in Egypt along with others to buy food, for the famine was in Canaan as well. Since Joseph was governor of all Egypt and in charge of selling grain to all the people, it was to him that his brothers came. When they arrived, they bowed before him with their faces to the ground. Joseph recognized his brothers instantly, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them. “Where are you from?” he demanded. “From the land of Canaan,” they replied. “We have come to buy food.” Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they didn’t recognize him. And he remembered the dreams he’d had about them many years before. He said to them, “You are spies! You have come to see how vulnerable our land has become.” “No, my lord!” they exclaimed. “Your servants have simply come to buy food. We are all brothers—members of the same family. We are honest men, sir! We are not spies!” “Yes, you are!” Joseph insisted. “You have come to see how vulnerable our land has become.” “Sir,” they said, “there are actually twelve of us. We, your servants, are all brothers, sons of a man living in the land of Canaan. Our youngest brother is back there with our father right now, and one of our brothers is no longer with us.” But Joseph insisted, “As I said, you are spies! This is how I will test your story. I swear by the life of Pharaoh that you will never leave Egypt unless your youngest brother comes here! One of you must go and get your brother. I’ll keep the rest of you here in prison. Then we’ll find out whether or not your story is true. By the life of Pharaoh, if it turns out that you don’t have a younger brother, then I’ll know you are spies.” So Joseph put them all in prison for three days. On the third day Joseph said to them, “I am a God-fearing man. If you do as I say, you will live. If you really are honest men, choose one of your brothers to remain in prison. The rest of you may go home with grain for your starving families. But you must bring your youngest brother back to me. This will prove that you are telling the truth, and you will not die.” To this they agreed. Speaking among themselves, they said, “Clearly we are being punished because of what we did to Joseph long ago. We saw his anguish when he pleaded for his life, but we wouldn’t listen. That’s why we’re in this trouble.” “Didn’t I tell you not to sin against the boy?” Reuben asked. “But you wouldn’t listen. And now we have to answer for his blood!” Of course, they didn’t know that Joseph understood them, for he had been speaking to them through an interpreter. Now he turned away from them and began to weep. When he regained his composure, he spoke to them again. Then he chose Simeon from among them and had him tied up right before their eyes. Joseph then ordered his servants to fill the men’s sacks with grain, but he also gave secret instructions to return each brother’s payment at the top of his sack. He also gave them supplies for their journey home. So the brothers loaded their donkeys with the grain and headed for home. But when they stopped for the night and one of them opened his sack to get grain for his donkey, he found his money in the top of his sack. “Look!” he exclaimed to his brothers. “My money has been returned; it’s here in my sack!” Then their hearts sank. Trembling, they said to each other, “What has God done to us?”

Genesis 43:1–5 NLT

But the famine continued to ravage the land of Canaan. When the grain they had brought from Egypt was almost gone, Jacob said to his sons, “Go back and buy us a little more food.” But Judah said, “The man was serious when he warned us, ‘You won’t see my face again unless your brother is with you.’ If you send Benjamin with us, we will go down and buy more food. But if you don’t let Benjamin go, we won’t go either. Remember, the man said, ‘You won’t see my face again unless your brother is with you.’ ”

They discuss the matter and Jacob arrives at a decision

Genesis 43:11–34 NLT

So their father, Jacob, finally said to them, “If it can’t be avoided, then at least do this. Pack your bags with the best products of this land. Take them down to the man as gifts—balm, honey, gum, aromatic resin, pistachio nuts, and almonds. Also take double the money that was put back in your sacks, as it was probably someone’s mistake. Then take your brother, and go back to the man. May God Almighty give you mercy as you go before the man, so that he will release Simeon and let Benjamin return. But if I must lose my children, so be it.” So the men packed Jacob’s gifts and double the money and headed off with Benjamin. They finally arrived in Egypt and presented themselves to Joseph. When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the manager of his household, “These men will eat with me this noon. Take them inside the palace. Then go slaughter an animal, and prepare a big feast.” So the man did as Joseph told him and took them into Joseph’s palace. The brothers were terrified when they saw that they were being taken into Joseph’s house. “It’s because of the money someone put in our sacks last time we were here,” they said. “He plans to pretend that we stole it. Then he will seize us, make us slaves, and take our donkeys.” The brothers approached the manager of Joseph’s household and spoke to him at the entrance to the palace. “Sir,” they said, “we came to Egypt once before to buy food. But as we were returning home, we stopped for the night and opened our sacks. Then we discovered that each man’s money—the exact amount paid—was in the top of his sack! Here it is; we have brought it back with us. We also have additional money to buy more food. We have no idea who put our money in our sacks.” “Relax. Don’t be afraid,” the household manager told them. “Your God, the God of your father, must have put this treasure into your sacks. I know I received your payment.” Then he released Simeon and brought him out to them. The manager then led the men into Joseph’s palace. He gave them water to wash their feet and provided food for their donkeys. They were told they would be eating there, so they prepared their gifts for Joseph’s arrival at noon. When Joseph came home, they gave him the gifts they had brought him, then bowed low to the ground before him. After greeting them, he asked, “How is your father, the old man you spoke about? Is he still alive?” “Yes,” they replied. “Our father, your servant, is alive and well.” And they bowed low again. Then Joseph looked at his brother Benjamin, the son of his own mother. “Is this your youngest brother, the one you told me about?” Joseph asked. “May God be gracious to you, my son.” Then Joseph hurried from the room because he was overcome with emotion for his brother. He went into his private room, where he broke down and wept. After washing his face, he came back out, keeping himself under control. Then he ordered, “Bring out the food!” The waiters served Joseph at his own table, and his brothers were served at a separate table. The Egyptians who ate with Joseph sat at their own table, because Egyptians despise Hebrews and refuse to eat with them. Joseph told each of his brothers where to sit, and to their amazement, he seated them according to age, from oldest to youngest. And Joseph filled their plates with food from his own table, giving Benjamin five times as much as he gave the others. So they feasted and drank freely with him.

We have a whole scene that follows where Joseph sets up his brother Benjamin as a criminal and has him arrested.

The brother admit their guilt of selling Joseph into slavery and believe this is God’s way of punishing them for their wicked deed.

Joseph demands that Benjamin stays as a servant in his house and all the brothers are beside themselves.

Jacob will die at the news.

The two sons of Rachel will be lost, as far as he knows.

But the ruse only goes so far…

Genesis 45:1–3 NLT

Joseph could stand it no longer. There were many people in the room, and he said to his attendants, “Out, all of you!” So he was alone with his brothers when he told them who he was. Then he broke down and wept. He wept so loudly the Egyptians could hear him, and word of it quickly carried to Pharaoh’s palace. “I am Joseph!” he said to his brothers. “Is my father still alive?” But his brothers were speechless! They were stunned to realize that Joseph was standing there in front of them.

Can you imagine the moment?

Dr. Brown defines surprise as…

An interruption caused by information that doesn’t fit with our current understanding or expectations. It causes us to reevaluate.

These moments can happen everyday

Surprise is the shortest of all emotions, lasting only a few seconds.

Here is a reflection we should consider:

What surprises you today?

Anything considered a miracle 40 years ago is not surprising.

The first heart transplant was done in this generation

You are surprised by a few things, on a global level

When someone dies young

When a politician is honest

But, some of you are surprised at the evil we see in our world

911 surprised us, but not any more

10/7 in Israel surprised us, only in its brutality

The gender issues are surprising, because it makes no sense

Dr. Brown makes an interesting link between surprise and unexpected.

Surprise is a short lived emotion that amplifies the emotion that follows.

Surprise party: Unexpected joy and affirmation of community

Surprise raise: Unexpected joy and affirmation of value

We use a different word when the surprise is negative.

Unexpected death: Surprise, shock, sadness, and evaluation

Unexpected news: Surprise, shock, sadness, and evaluation

Surprise, because it amplifies, can mislead you too.

Think of someone who has hurt you, and they attempt to make amends.

Your surprise may cause you to let your guard down

Are you being manipulated or toyed with?

Or is this genuine?

Your surprise may cause you to ‘wall up’

You will not trick me again!

Surprise can cause you to reject something too.

This happened to Jesus in his home town…

Mark 6:1–6 NLT

Jesus left that part of the country and returned with his disciples to Nazareth, his hometown. The next Sabbath he began teaching in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed. They asked, “Where did he get all this wisdom and the power to perform such miracles?” Then they scoffed, “He’s just a carpenter, the son of Mary and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon. And his sisters live right here among us.” They were deeply offended and refused to believe in him. Then Jesus told them, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” And because of their unbelief, he couldn’t do any miracles among them except to place his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their unbelief. Then Jesus went from village to village, teaching the people.

As much as Jesus was surprised at their lack of faith…he was equally amazed at a persons faith

Matthew 8:5–10 NLT

When Jesus returned to Capernaum, a Roman officer came and pleaded with him, “Lord, my young servant lies in bed, paralyzed and in terrible pain.” Jesus said, “I will come and heal him.” But the officer said, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come into my home. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. I know this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed. Turning to those who were following him, he said, “I tell you the truth, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel!

When was the last time you were surprised?

When was the last time you were surprising?

Perhaps we should be on the lookout for God moving and working in our world, in our neighbors, loved ones, and ourselves.

Emotion Wheel: Surprise