Peace in Friendship with Jesus

Today I wan to talk about friends. Speaking of friends are there any fans of the popular sitcom Friends?

Friends ran from 1994-2004 and is one of the most popular sitcoms of all time. The series finale was watched by 0ver 52 million Americans. It touched a nerve with the American public because everyone loves to have friends. Everyone saw themselves as one of the friends!

In 2021 there was a reunion that was a big hit as well.

Even the theme song was a hit with it’s refrain – I’ll Be There for You!

Isn’t that what we all want – something who will be there for us. We want friends. Friends make life fun. But more than that research shows that friends are good for us.

Here’s some research I found on the American Psychological Association website in an article entitled, The science of why friendships keep us healthy

Psychological research suggests that stable, healthy friendships are crucial for our well-being and longevity.

People who have friends and close confidants are more satisfied with their lives and less likely to suffer from depression (Choi, K. W., et al., The American Journal of Psychiatry, Vol. 177, No. 10, 2020). They’re also less likely to die from all causes, including heart problems and a range of chronic diseases (Holt-Lunstad, J., et al., PLOS Medicine, Vol. 7, No. 7, 2010; Steptoe, A., et al., PNAS, Vol. 110, No. 15, 2013).

Friendships protect us in part by changing the way we respond to stress. Blood pressure reactivity is lower when people talk to a supportive friend rather than a friend whom they feel ambivalent about (Holt-Lunstad, J., et al., Annals of Behavioral Medicine, Vol. 33, No. 3, 2007).

Participants who have a friend by their side while completing a tough task have less heart rate reactivity than those working alone (Kamarck, T. W., et al., Psychosomatic Medicine, Vol. 52, No. 1, 1990).

In one study, people even judged a hill to be less steep when they were accompanied by a friend (Schnall, S., et al., Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Vol. 44, No. 5, 2008).

Friends are good for us. That’s who we encourage all of you to be in community with one another. Spiritual friendships help us along the way. And we are not just talking about best friends. The study showed that even acquaintances offer positive benefits to our emotional and physical health.

But that’s not what I really want to talk about today – having friends. I want to talk about having one friend in particular.

We’ve been working through this farewell address of Jesus in John 14-16 the last several weeks with the goal of finding peace. That seems to be one of the purposes of this talk. Times are hard. Jesus is about to be handed over to be crucified. The apostles are panicking. They are worried and Jesus knows that panic and worry are not a good recipe for success, so he takes them aside and uses this time to calm them. He wants them to be at peace so they can carry out the work he has assigned to them.

John 14:27 (NIV) — 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:33 (NIV) — 33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Throughout this talk he has revealed several “things” that will give them peace and today we will see that one of those “things” has to do with this idea of friendship. Friendship gives us peace.

John 15:9–17 (NIV) — 9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

You may have heard all this before and perhaps its no revelation to you that Jesus wants to be your friend. But I think this idea – that Jesus who is Lord and Savior wants to be friend. Is that concept part of you understanding of Jesus? Do you see him as your friend?

Jesus is our savior – he died for us and it’s only through that death tat we can be saved. That has to be part of our thinking when we compose this portrait of Jesus. Jesus is Lord – he our master. We take our lead from him. We obey him as Lord. That has to be part of our thinking of who Jesus is. But we cannot neglect this aspect of Jesus as friend.

Not everyone could grasp this. In fact, Jesus was accused at times by the religious authorities of being al little too friendly to people.

Luke 7:34 (NLT) — 34 The Son of Man, on the other hand, feasts and drinks, and you say, ‘He’s a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors and other sinners!’

He’s not someone who just comes in and tells people what to do. He’s not one who expects everyone to wait on him hand and foot. He’s not just barking out orders. He’s actually seems to like people. That didn’t fit into everyone’s concept of Messiah. It still doesn’t today.

On another occasion - a rather public occasion – at the death of Lazarus, Jesus refers to Lazarus as friend:

John 11:11 (NLT) — 11 Then he said, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up.”

It may be hard to believe. Anyone can say they are your friend. The term has been watered down somewhat by social media. I must admit I have some friends on Facebook that I really don’t even know. I’m not sure how we got to be friends. Or sometimes I’ll get a friend request from someone I’ve never heard of before. So saying Jesus wants to be your friend is one thing, but how can we really know he is our friend?

How Jesus Expresses His Friendship

(From a sermon by Charles Stanley)

John 15:12-17 is a wonderful description of how Christ demonstrates His friendship with us.

With Sacrificial Love. “Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends” (v. 13). There have always been people who’ve given their lives to save others, but Jesus’ sacrifice is much greater. When someone lays down his life to save another, it’s usually a spontaneous act in a moment of great danger. In contrast, Jesus Christ planned to give His life for us before the foundation of the world. He loved us before we were born and died on the cross to rescue us from sin while we were still His enemies (Romans 5:10). Unlike a person who dies to save a person physically, Jesus’ death on the cross rescues us from eternal punishment and gives us eternal life.

By Taking the Initiative in the Relationship. “You did not choose Me but I chose you” (John 15:16). No one can choose to be Christ’s friend; He alone takes the initiative. He didn’t choose us as His friends because of anything worthy in us or because of our good works. The only reason we can have a relationship with the Lord is because of what He did for us. Our only role was to respond to the Holy Spirit’s conviction of our sin and cry out for mercy and salvation.

By the Revolutionary Effect on Our Lives. “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you” (v. 12). “You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends” (vv. 14-15). When we were saved, our lives were completely changed. We were given a new heart and spirit. Now we relate to Christ in an entirely different fashion—as His intimate friends. This transformation is characterized by a life of obedience to His commands and Christlike love for one another. We become like our friends.

By Revealing Divine Truth. “I have called you friends, because all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you” (v. 15). While Jesus was with His disciples, He revealed divine truths from His Father that couldn’t have been known any other way. These revelations weren’t given to everyone, but only to those He called friends. After Christ’s ascension, the Holy Spirit brought to mind all that Jesus had told His disciples, and now they are recorded in the Bible for all of us to know.

By Challenging Us. “I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain” (v. 16). The fruit Christ wants us to bear as His friends are internal qualities of the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) and good works that He’s planned for us to do. In other words, He challenges us to become who He desires us to be and accomplish what He’s planned for us to do. He sees good things in us and he draws them out.

The Kind of Friend Jesus Is

He accepts us as we are but doesn’t leave us that way.

He has time for us and is never too busy.

He talks to us through His written Word.

He listens to us when we pray.

He forgives us and grants us His perfect record of righteousness.

He understands us in our struggles and weaknesses.

He walks with us through our trials.

He’s available to meet our needs in every circumstance.

He’s open and doesn’t try to hide Himself. He’s revealed His ways and thoughts in His Word.

He’s sensitive and knows us better than we know ourselves.

He encourages us throughout life.

He’s patient and longsuffering with us in our personal battles and frailties, and guides us in our spiritual growth.

He’s a giver. Everything we have is from Him, including life itself.

He touches us in our times of need through the hands of His people and His presence with us.

He’s always truthful and will never deceive us.

He’s always faithful. Whatever He says, He will do.

He’s committed to us and will keep His promises.

He confronts us when we sin because He loves us.

He desires the best for us. Sometimes that means He must rearrange our plans in order to make them like His.

He loves us unconditionally. There’s nothing we have to do to earn or merit His love.

He gave His life for us.

He’s prepared a place in heaven for us.

He’s going to spend eternity with us.

Do you know Jesus as friend? Do you know he really likes you? He really sees good in you and is willing to walk with you through good times and bad times. He will never desert you. And when this life is over he will be there to welcome you home.