Delighting Through The Pain

Intro:

There are seasons in life in which we find it easy to worship, easy and enjoyable to spend time with God - when circumstances are good, when we have friends aplenty, and resources abound.

But how can we delight in God when life is hard? How do you enjoy Him when he seems to be allowing or even ordaining pain? What do you do when it feels like your prayers can’t get beyond the ceiling and your worship feels more like ritual than rejoicing?

This is where Lament comes in to play. While on one had we could see lament as a form of prayer, I think that given the examples that we see throughout Scripture, we can also treat it as a discipline, as a tool in our spiritual tool belts that we can use in our relationship with God. Lament provides a vehicle through which we can pour out our hearts in raw complaint, but then move beyond that. Lament provides a vocal outlet for our souls when we feel like we’re stuck.

As Mark Vroegop has said, “Lament is a prayer in pain that leads to trust.”

As we’ll see in a few moments, there is a rawness to lament. There is a part of lament that feels irreverent or disrespectful, and yet by virtue of the fact that roughly 1/3 of the Psalms are laments and one entire book of the bible is dedicated to laments, we can see that lament is something that God allows. I would even suggest that lament is something God invites.

So today, we look at the discipline of lament and how we can actually delight in God through pain, we’re going to consider a structure, some methods, and some reasons to lament.

Open your Bibles to Psalm 13. While we will have the passage on the screen, it may be good to have your copy of God’s word in front of you so you can make notes or mark things that jump out at you.

Let’s begin with a structure of lament.

A structure of lament (Psalm 13)

As you read through the Psalms and the book of Lamentations, as you come across various prayers in both the Old and New Testaments, you come across a variety of examples of lament. Sometimes these are long. Some laments are short. Some conclude with hope while others seem stuck in the mire of suffering. One of the things that I think this Psalm helps us to see is that lament can take a structure that provides a framework within which we can formulate our own laments. In his work on the subject, Vroegop had outlined lament with four simple words: turn, complain, ask, trust. I think this Psalm helps us to see that fairly clearly.

Psalm 13 ESV

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Implicit in this Psalm is the first step in this structure, that is to turn.

Turn to Yahweh(1a)

By virtue of the fact that David, the Psalmist, is offering up this prayer, this lament to God, he shows us by example that we can and even should take our pain to God. He goes to God in the midst of whatever this circumstance might be. Where as some Psalms provide a sense of context for the psalm, this one provides none. We’re not given any outside information as to what is prompting this. It may be when David was running from King Saul. It may have been when he was dealing with the challenges with is son Absalom’s betrayal. It may have been a circumstance that is not recorded in Scripture. Whatever the case, David is not simply yelling to the air. As we’ll see in few minutes, he’s moved beyond just his own thoughts on the matter. He’s turned to God.

“How long O Yahweh”

He seems to know that God is the sovereign over all things. He knows that God is His God.

It seems that in our own lives, we can tend to turn to friends or family or even Facebook to rant and complain. I’m not saying we shouldn’t do that. I think God has given us friends and family to help us process things. But sometimes that outward turning is only a venting.

In lament, in turning to Yahweh, we turn to the one who truly can do something.

John Piper notes in his book Providence that because God is sovereign, nothing that happens to us does so without His permission and knowledge.

In the book of Job, we see that illustrated in how God allowed the devil to torment Job in certain ways. Sometimes we may look at that and think that is cruel. But also reflect on the fact that if we did not have Job’s experience, we would not have a clear perspective on suffering.

So, at some point, we need to turn to Yahweh, as David demonstrates here. Secondly, we can complain honestly.

Complain honestly (1-2)

In these 2 verses, David expresses a clear and honest complaint about the situation. He does that with the repeated phrase - “how long.”

how long - he doesn’t provide insight into how long it’s been - but whatever the length, he’s done, he feels like it’s enough for him. Not only is he complaining about the length, but he’s complaining about what he’s feeling from God…

how long will you forget me forever? - wow - that’s a bold complaint. But in the midst of his pain, it feels like he’s forgotten. I think deep down David knows he’s not forgotten, but it feels like God has moved on to other things.

how long will you hide your face? - the concept of God’s face was important in Israel’s history. It was “face-to-face” that God would speak to Moses and provide the law. When the priests would pronounce the Aaronic blessing over the people, they did so with the idea that God’s face would shine upon that (Num. 6:24-26). And yet here, it seems like God hiding his face is a sign of God’s rejection or in the least withholding blessing.

How long must I take counsel in my soul? - Have you ever had those moments when it seems like the only voice you hear is the voice in your head? I do. My inner critic speaks so loudly sometimes. It seems like David did too. He had been trying to process through the pain, but could not get answers. I know in my own life, the counsel with my soul is often discouraging and defeatist, clouded by the pain and not grounded in truth. It’s easy to become self-deceived when our voice is the only voice we hear and our perspective is our only point of view. David wanted out of this crazy cycle.

Finally, he gets to what may be the real crux of the problem - the enemy.

how long will my enemy be exalted over me?- The length of time and the perceived rejection is felt because David’s enemy seems to be winning.

I do think in our own lives there are times when it feels this way. When it feels like God has forgotten. When it feels like the enemy - whether satan, a fellow student, a coworker, physical pain, sickness or even another brother or sister in Christ is winning. It’s as though justice is absent.

I have felt that way from time to time when I’ve thought about Danielle’s sister, Teresa. The battle she has been fighting has been going on for two and a half years - maybe even longer if we consider the headaches and the growth of the tumor that prompted all of this. David’s words here feel like the right words. “How long O Yahweh? How long will you forget her forever? How long will you hide your face from her?” And yet I know that the complaint from my perspective is far lighter than that of her sisters, or her parents or her husband or children, or even her own complaint.

Like Teresa and like David, some of of us have had to wrestle with chronic pain, persistent arguments, frustrating family members, financial hardships, job insecurities. God seems to invite us to say “how long!”

But the journey of lament doesn’t just stop there. This Psalm next helps us to see that we can ask boldly.

Ask boldly (3-4)

Have you ever been in one of those conversations when someone seems to be ignoring you? Maybe it’s a child or a friend or a supervisor. In your conversation with them their attention is distracted. Maybe they don’t want to hear what you have to say. Maybe they don’t want to tell what needs to be said. They are more interested in their phone than they are in you.

Have you ever said “look at me! listen to me!”?

That is essentially David’s request in this next stanza.

Psalm 13:3–4 (ESV)

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;

light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,

lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”

lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

David seems to be so discouraged, so depressed that death feels nearby. His bold request is for God to look at him. He can practically imagine his enemy dancing on his grave in victory.

The word translated “consider” means to regard with pleasure or care or to regard with respect. Like a child saying to a parent - look at me, watch me - David is saying that to Yahweh.

But not only does he want God’s attention, he wants God’s answer. He needs encouragement.

And yet, as with any request, the person receiving the request can say “no.” It is certainly within God’s Sovereignty to reply in a way that is different than what we might want. David seems to know that God can answer any way he chooses. So, instead of resignation or hopelessness, David demonstrates how lament moves from turn to complain to asking, to trust. In this final stanza David demonstrates that we should trust hopefully in lament.

Trust hopefully (5-6)

David’s lament turns on one three letter word in English - “but” and one letter in Hebrew (vay). In this turn, David looks back with a confident memory and looks forward in a hopeful expectation.

Psalm 13:5–6 ESV

But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

I don’t think David is reminding God about the way that he trusted in God’s steadfast love. I think he’s reminding himself. He is essentially saying “because I did this in the past and I saw that God ‘dealt bountifully with me,’” David looks forward in hopeful expectation that he will rejoice in God’s salvation. He will once again be able to sing. There is no promise on the timeline. There is no expectation of immediate relief. But there is hope. There is trust - in God.

When we take our complaints to the Lord in lament, we may not see immediate change, but, like David, I think we will get to express our concerns and then remind ourselves of God’s faithfulness. It may be months or years before clear change takes place, but there will be a renewed hope.

I think that in this, God gives us space to heal, to hope, to trust Him even as we express our frustrations to Him through lament.

Now, frankly this is only one structure. We could scour the Psalms and look at how other lament psalms are organized. We can linger in the Lamentations and see that all of these elements are there, but not necessarily in this order. I think the point of all of this is that in our pain, God gives us a means to interact with Him through lament.

So this then begs the question, how should we lament. It seems like we have several methods at our disposal.

Methods of lament

First of all, just as with any prayer, we can lament to God

spontaneously - we can cry out to the Lord from the depths of our souls and heartfelt and raw lament. In a way, I think we see this demonstrated by Jesus on the cross when he said - “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Now, he was quoting Psalm 22, but it seemed to be spontaneous nonetheless.

In writing - Some people have said that Laments essentially become memorials. When we make time to thoughtfully write out our lament, get make a record of that request to the Lord. We provide some mark in time noting the circumstance that seems to weigh heavy on us.

Out loud - You may find that you’ll want to voice your lament. Not only is God hearing it, but you are too. You’re hearing your words. You’re reminding yourself of the circumstance. you’re also reminding yourself of God’s faithfulness in the past - which then provides some hope for the future.

Silently - Maybe lamenting silently in your own devotional time is what is needed. We don’t see many of examples of that in scripture or in history, frankly because silent laments live in that moment. I would guess that this is probably among the most common forms of lament.

In addition to these, there may be opportunities and needs to lament…

Corporately - whether as a family, a church, a community, or even as a nation. These might take on a more mutually-intentional act where we would reflect together on the circumstance and our complaint. It may be that one person speaks on behalf of the group or the whole group speaks in unison. Corporate laments can be profound ways for us to deal with persistent sin or broad-reaching tragedy.

We’ve looked at how we might be able to structure a lament and briefly considered how we might lament - let’s conclude by looking at some reasons to lament.

Reasons to lament

In mourning

In physical pain

In emotional pain or betrayal

In confession of our own sin

in many ways, all suffering, all pain is rooted in sin - whether our sin, the sins of others, or the general problem of living in a fallen and sinful world.

In spiritual deadness - “My eyes are dry”

In coming to salvation

coming to God as a religious act rather than in response - trying to perform

recognizing the problems you face, especially your sin is bigger than you can handle

Asking for God’s help

Trusting in what Jesus has done for you - laying aside your religious activity in order to rest in his generous and steadfast love.

Closing thoughts

life is filled with joys and sorrows, successes and failure, reasons to rejoice and reasons to complain. We can let the pain and disappointment produce bitterness in us by keeping it in or by Poisoning our lives and the lives of those around us by our bitter rhetoric, or we can take it to the One who has the authority to do something about the pain. He may not change the situation, but I believe healing and hope will find a home in your soul.

Benediction

Deuteronomy 6:4–9 ESV

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Questions for discussion and reflection

Read: Psalm 13

What peaked your interested as we considered this topic on Sunday?

Based on what you know of David’s life, what circumstances might have prompted this lament? (consider reading 1 Sam. 19, 21, 22, 23, 27, 29, 30; 2 Sam. 15,)

Why can or should we lament?

Why is it important that we begin by turning to God in lament?

Why do you think it’s helpful to express our complaint?

Why is boldly asking God important?

How does a hopeful trust help us?

How should we respond when nothing changes?

From Kids Connection

Topic: Spiritual Gifts and where they come from

Scripture: John 14, 16:5-15.

What did you all discuss on Sunday regarding Spiritual gifts?

Where do spiritual gifts come from?

Why do you think we have them?

How could you see God using Spiritual gifts in your life?

Sources

Piper, John. Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist. Sisters, OR. Multnomah, 2003.

Piper, John. Providence. Wheaton, IL. Crossway, 2020.

Reeves, Michael. Delighting in the Trinity: An Introduction to the Christian Faith. Downers Grove, IL. InterVarsity Press, 2012.

Whitney, Donald S. Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life. NavPress, 2014.

Whitney, Donald S. TEN Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health. NavPress, 2001.

Vroegop, Mark. Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament. Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2019.