The Gospel-Centered Family (Part 2)

Good morning, church!

Last week we had Kenny Vawter here, and I have had a lot of good feedback from that. Wouldn’t it be great to be a church filled with children!

Raise your hand if you think it would be great to be a church just filled with kids! It’s always been my belief that a church without kids is a dying church, and I never want that to be our church.

Also, thank you everyone that raised your hands, you just volunteered for the children’s ministry.

Seriously though, we need for some of you all to become children’s workers, like, the more the better, because in order to become that church that is filled with kids, we need to be willing to work for it - we need to hand over our comfort levels to the Lord and be willing to step out by faith into Kingdom level work, and that includes the kids ministry.

I personally think our children’s ministry and our student ministry are some of the most important ministries that we have because they are the next generation of the church, and we need to be impacting them with the gospel as much as we can.

Today we are going to continue talking about this gospel-centered family that we began talking about a couple of weeks ago when we discussed remembering who we represent, who we should correct, who we should hear, and who we should trust as the household of God. This week we are going to look at two additional focuses that Paul gives us to be faithful members of God’s family.

We’re going to be in 1 Timothy chapter 5, and as you are turning there our main point for today is that:

Main Point: As members of God’s household, we must treat one another with love and respect, to include wise and compassionate care for widows.

As members of God’s household we are to treat one another with love and respect, to include biblical care for widows.

Read with me what Paul says here in chapter 5, beginning in verse 1:

1 Timothy 5:1–16 CSB

1 Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity. 3 Support widows who are genuinely in need. 4 But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them learn to practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God. 5 The widow who is truly in need and left all alone has put her hope in God and continues night and day in her petitions and prayers; 6 however, she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 7 Command this also, so that they will be above reproach. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 9 No widow is to be enrolled on the list for support unless she is at least sixty years old, has been the wife of one husband, 10 and is well known for good works—that is, if she has brought up children, shown hospitality, washed the saints’ feet, helped the afflicted, and devoted herself to every good work. 11 But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when they are drawn away from Christ by desire, they want to marry 12 and will therefore receive condemnation because they have renounced their original pledge. 13 At the same time, they also learn to be idle, going from house to house; they are not only idle, but are also gossips and busybodies, saying things they shouldn’t say. 14 Therefore, I want younger women to marry, have children, manage their households, and give the adversary no opportunity to accuse us. 15 For some have already turned away to follow Satan. 16 If any believing woman has widows in her family, let her help them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it can help widows in genuine need.

Prayer.

Are you so focused on your career, your raise, and your ambitions for the future that you fail to realize the gift of relationships that God has given you today? When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was He said to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind, and the second is like it, love others as you do yourself. That means that people come before possessions and positions.

But what does that look like? What did that look like for Timothy? What does that look like today?

Our passage today paints us this image of what it looks like to be in a caring, loving family. It provides us guidance on how to behave as Christ followers and it gives us perspective on the wisdom and the compassion necessary to care for our immediate and extended families well.

There are two main “focuses” of this passage. Two groups in today’s passage that our attention is drawn to, so that we can be living gospel-centered lives that point others to the love and grace of Jesus.

The first focus that Paul gives us is that:

1. We LOVE one another like we are family.

Look again at verses 1 and 2 -

1 Timothy 5:1–2 CSB

Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity.

Like a lot of Scripture, we can just read that and sort of gloss over it. We can read that and think, ok, I know how to do all of that.

But do we?

I think Paul is trying to tell us something that we just don’t get all of the time.

Like that first one - don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, and then a moment later older women as mothers - many or even probably most of us were taught to respect our elders, but how many of us would actually say that we do it?

I never felt right about calling my dad the “old man”, but I certainly have had those moments where in my mind I’m saying gosh, you’re old to a lot of people. We make jokes about it at work. If you’re of a younger generation, chances are you have said “ok boomer” and even if you didn’t, chances are at some point in your life you thought about how irrelevant you found an older person or a person of the older generation.

Paul tells Timothy to reflect on that and to treat these men, and women as fathers and mothers.

Now, does that mean that they are always correct? No, they are not God, what Paul is simply saying here is that we should love them and care for them and respect them like we should our own mothers and fathers.

And I know that for some of us, loving and caring for them like we would our own mother or father has it’s difficulties because maybe your mom or dad was not all that lovable or all that present, but that’s why it’s a should - love them like we should love our moms and dads if they were present. Love them the way that God loves you.

That means that we do respect them, we do care for them, we do love them, appropriately, and unconditionally.

Don’t focus on the things that they can’t do, but encourage or exhort them to do the things that they can do.

So before you get angry or upset that someone older than you is causing you a delay, or causing you more work, the Bible here says to treat them as you would your own family, your own parents, in a way that is caring and loving towards them.

Let’s take just a moment and go all the way back to chapter 1 verses 15 and 16:

1 Timothy 1:15–16 CSB

This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them. But I received mercy for this reason, so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate his extraordinary patience as an example to those who would believe in him for eternal life.

What did Christ do so that you could inherit the blessing of God?

He demonstrated extraordinary patience to you as an example for you.

Don’t be disrespectful or impatient with your elders, they are the generational foundation that you have for the church that you inherit, and their work matters. Allow them to work at the things they can, even if it’s slower or just different from the way you might do it.

They’re like that Farmers insurance commercial, they know a thing or two because they’ve seen a thing or two.

Then Paul addresses the elders and their treatment of the younger generation.

He says to Timothy to treat the younger men and women as brothers and sisters - that means that they are equals in the Kingdom, and they should be treated as such.

And to be quite honest, we fail here a lot too I think.

Laying it all out on the table, there are some people out there that are my own age and younger that say some things that just make you sort of wonder about their intelligence sometimes. Fortunately as I have gotten older I am able to catch those thoughts a little more often before they leave my mouth, but there are some people out there that you know, you just have a hard time loving them because of some of the things that they do or say that is going to rub you the wrong way.

And we think, man, how am I supposed to love someone that says or does that like a brother or sister?

And the reality is that we do that, and we fail to realize that sometimes they think the same exact thing about you!

How do we treat one another as brothers and sisters? What does it actually mean to treat one another with that exhorting them as brothers and sisters?

We did it earlier - when I first started this message, I talked about how we need workers for our children’s ministry, but that actually extends to all areas of service in the church.

How many of you grew up with chores? That was an important function of the house, someone served everyone else by doing the dishes, or the laundry, or taking out the trash and mowing the lawn. We helped each other out and we took care of the whole house together as a family.

It works the same way in the church, and Paul is telling Timothy to exhort or to encourage people to serve alongside him in the ministry. To ask some to join him in utilizing the gifts and talents that God had bestowed upon them and to encourage them in the ministry.

When we all are participating in the mission of God’s church we work together as a family unit, where everyone does their part to encourage Kingdom growth and to see to it that the church is gospel centered.

As any military person or veteran in here knows, the service that you were in becomes a sort of family, that protects and defends it’s own. Within that family we each have our own jobs that are there so that the family unit can run effectively and so that the unit and the branch can fulfill its part of the overall mission.

Each person here who claims to be a part of the Kingdom of God has a part in the mission of God. Each member of this family is to treat the other members of the family in such a way that is exhorting, or encouraging them to do what it is that God has called them to do.

That’s how we work together as members of the family of God, that’s how we are to treat one another.

Then Paul takes a turn to look at those that have no blood-related family left, and he turns his focus towards widows. In verses 3 through 16 Paul focusses on how:

2. We CARE for those who have no family.

Paul shifts gears and begins to talk about widows, because there was a lot of them back then. Wars and diseases and all sorts of things would claim men’s lives far earlier on average, and so there were a lot of widows in their day.

For us today, this truth however still applies, because today we do still have widows and widowers, and Paul is going to give some practical advise here for how to serve and care for those that are without a family left to take care of and from these verses we see three concepts of just how we should be wise and compassionate in doing so.

The first concept that Paul presents to us about caring for those that are widows or widowers is that:

a. We HONOR them through support.

We should be honoring their faithfulness. We should be helping those in genuine need as a church, but Paul also addresses the blood family here and says that those who have children and grandchildren should be cared for by that blood family first.

Paul says we as their children should be practicing that godliness that is living inside of us and we should be caring for our parents, because that pleases God.

Verse 5 tells us as a church what a widow truly in need looks like - they are left all alone, there is no family left, and she has placed all of her hope in God but continues night and day in prayers and petitions.

Verse six says that if that person, if she is self-indulgent, then she is not truly in need, and seven again rings up that without reproach remark that we saw back in chapter 3.

So, to put this in today’s terms, this woman is to live within the normal means of a humble society. She isn’t supposed to be getting rich off the church, the church and the family is not there to provide for things that lead to sin or that are extravagant-so there is a limit to the support, but ultimately we support those who are in need and have no family to turn to.

And verse 8 becomes a warning to those who are blood relatives and it says that if anyone withholds support from their own family, they have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.

So if you have family that truly needs support, you need to be supporting them as best you can. Now that doesn’t mean that if your mother or father are rich that you have to maintain their lifestyle, and it also doesn’t mean that if they have addiction problems that you become their driver or financer to those problems, it just means that you are making sure that they have the things that they need if they don’t have the means to do so themselves.

Verses 9 and 10 turn back to the church - Paul says that to qualify for the church to provide support, here are the basic guidelines for those that have no families and need support, here’s what that should look like - she should be at least 60 years old, she should have been the wife of one husband, and the Greek here works the same way as it did back in chapter 3, so its a one man woman, or having been a faithful wife.

And then it says she is well known for good works - this person is not someone who is outside the local church, and she is not someone who is just a pew warmer or a busybody. She is known for how she faithfully served the church before becoming a widow.

And that leads us to the next concept that we see beginning in verse 10:

b. We ENLIST them to serve the Kingdom.

Paul says they have brought up children, shown hospitality, washed the feet of the saints-no, we aren’t going to start washing feet, don’t get hung up on the cultural part here - helped the afflicted, and devoted herself to every good work.

Paul is taking a moment to give us what a faithful woman looks like, who may eventually become a widow.

Look, ladies, as hard as this may be to face, at some point in time there is always that possibility that you may become a widow, and your family may not be able to help. That possibility may be somewhat low today, but it is always a possibility.

And I would say the same is true for widowers - just because widowers was not that much of a thing back then and our culture is different, there’s a level where you need to be active in the family of God.

Now does that mean that you are here every time the doors are open? No, but it does mean that you do your part in service to the King by way of serving in His local church, and apart from illness or emergency you should be here when you are supposed to be here.

That means you need to start now, while you’re young, and then remain faithful to that calling that God has placed on your heart to see it through. Is it going to be easy? Probably not, but you’re storing up treasure in Heaven, not here, so I can promise you that it will be worth it.

If you decide that you aren’t satisfied with your Heavenly treasure, then I recommend you speak to my supervisor.

Every person here should be serving the Kingdom in some way via the local church.

The third concept that Paul brings up is:

c. We ENCOURAGE the young to serve their families.

We need to encourage the younger widows and widowers to serve their families. Verses 11 through 16 really talks about those that are the younger widows, and some of the things it says is first off, don’t enroll them in the list of those that need the care of the local church.

Now, this doesn’t mean that the church can’t care for them, especially those that are newly widowed, it just means that they shouldn’t be dependent on the church for the rest of their lives.

And it tells us why - if a woman is enrolled in this list as a widow, it was expected that she would stay that way for the remainder of her life- she is truly in need and left all alone. Younger widows and widowers alike have the ability to go and get a job, and, realistically, after some time, re-marry.

So to answer the question that your spouse asks about if you would re-marry after they pass, the Bible has an answer for that - Paul says that because they are young and still are going to have desires for companionship, because that is the way that God has designed them, Paul says I want younger widows to marry and have children, he wants them to manage their households, all so that the adversary has no opportunity to accuse us.

Now, Paul is addressing the Ephesians, and he’s telling those that have been married before to remarry, unlike in Corinthians where he’s telling single people that it would be better for them not to marry-it’s different people groups that Paul is speaking to. Also, if you’ll remember a couple of weeks ago back in chapter four in verse three Paul is addressing those false teachers that are commanding people not to marry, so Paul is addressing that here as well.

But we read that today, and I think that is still a good argument. Even today for us if you have lost a spouse and you are under the age of 60, you are going to have a desire for companionship - you may still have that desire today past 60 because men are living longer today than they did back then.

In the event that I pass away before Kristin, according to Scripture here, she is to remarry should the opportunity present itself. That doesn’t mean that she has to seek it out, it just means that it is both permissible and advisable.

In the event that Kristin passes away before me, first I will be lost, like where are things in the house lost, but I too would be compelled by these verses to remarry should that opportunity present itself.

Companionship is important, we are drawn to that, and we are called to that so that Satan has no power to tempt us to turn away from the gospel we love today.

I pray that doesn’t happen, but if it does we are told to go and develop our family with a new spouse should we be young when we are widowed.

And Paul says that if that need for companionship is not fulfilled, then they are going to learn to be idle, going all over town to get the latest gossip and saying things that they shouldn’t say.

Paul says they are going to be gossips and they are going to be lazy. This is a man and woman problem, and I think we have some additional things today that can make this a reality.

We have gossip filtered into our homes daily by facebook or instagram or whatever social media you have and through television - there are so many ways to get that today without even having to go from house to house.

Paul says let’s pursue godliness, and if you are still young then you should be seeking to be pure in your daily walk with the Lord - and IF you are able to find true companionship, then you are permitted and even compelled to re-marry.

Then Paul says in verse 15 that if any believing woman has widows in her family, that she is to help them.

Again, there weren’t a lot of widowers, but I think the same thing applies today for those who have lost a spouse across the board. If you have someone in your family, then you need to be serving them as their relative. Paul is encouraging you to take care of those widows, not to just place all of the burden on the church or the state.

Paul here is addressing those who are taking advantage of the church and putting all of the widows from their family onto the church, and Paul says that is your responsibility to care for your relatives, let the church take care of those that are actually in need.

It is your responsibility to take care of your family. You should be showing them the love and compassion of Christ, you should be listening to their life stories, you should be serving them when needed. Paul says don’t put them off to someone else just because they are a burden to you. That doesn’t mean don’t put them in a nursing home or in a care facility, some need that, it just means that you don’t leave them there alone just because you don’t want to deal with it.

We need to love one another like we are family, and we need to care for our families and as a church we need to care for those that have no families because we are a family.

As members of God’s household, we must treat one another with love and respect.

How are we doing at caring for one another today church? Do you know the people around you? Do you know their needs, have they asked you to pray for them or with them in something? Are you praying for those around you?

And we must care for those who have no families. Is there someone that you need to be reaching out to? Are you compelled to go and show compassion and care for someone who has no one else?

For some of us today, this passage ay have been one where, you know, your family is great and this stuff comes sort of natural-everyone in your family is a believer in Christ, and so it’s easy.

For others here, maybe your family is filled with people who are hard to love. Maybe there’s someone here today that you find difficult.

And for some today that might be hearing this, you’re realizing that you’re the difficult one, you’re the one that needs Jesus to come into your life and change your heart to love the family of God, to love your family, with His grace and mercy that was given to you with that extraordinary patience.

As the music begins to play softly, right where you are you can pray and ask for the Lord to change your heart. Right where you are you can pray for those relationships to be restored or made new.

If you need someone to pray with you, you can come up here and someone will take you by the hand and pray with you and walk beside you, you can fill out the connect card from your bulletin or you can grab a prayer card and fill it out on the way out.

You don’t have to struggle alone.