Men & Women in a Confused Age

Lead Vocalist (Joel)

Welcome & Announcements (Mike L)

Good morning family!

Ask guests to fill out connect card

3 announcements:

1) Easter Egg Hunt

March 23.

Announcement details?

2) Good Friday service

March 29 at 6:30 PM

3) Easter Sunday

NO Sunday School!

Breakfast at 9AM

Flyers to invite people to Easter

Now please take a moment of silence to prepare your heart for worship.

Call to Worship (Isaiah 55:1-5)

Prayer of Praise (Phoebe Garcia)

God is For Us

Your Name

Prayer of Confession (Max Michaud), Failure to evangelize the lost

Assurance of Pardon (Romans 5:7-8)

Leaning On The Everlasting Arms

Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul

Scripture Reading (Titus 2:1-14)

Pastoral Prayer (Mike L.)

Prayer for PBC—For our light to shine in a confused world

Prayer for sister church—Nansemond River Baptist (Ryan Brice)

Prayer for US—House of Representatives

Prayer for the world—Romania

Pray for the sermon

SERMON

START TIMER!!!

Once upon a time there was a trombone who wanted to be free.

For years he went along with the other instruments in the orchestra. He learned the part of the trombone in the symphony, played along with the other trombones in the orchestra, and followed the directions of the conductor.

But he was done.

For years this trombone had felt like a flute.

Why should his design dictate the part he played in the orchestra?

Wasn’t who he was on the inside more important?

Couldn’t the trombone simply be a flute trapped inside a brass body?

So one day the trombone summoned up the courage to arrive to the orchestra as a flute.

He looked like a trombone, sounded like a trombone, but sat with the woodwinds in the orchestra and tried to play along with the other flutes.

As you can imagine, the results were disastrous.

The trombone section had one less trombone, so they weren’t able to play their part with the usual gusto.

The flutes couldn’t hear one another with the noisy trombone booming in their section.

No matter how much he felt like a flute, the trombone simply could not play the notes designed to be played by a different instrument.

The conductor didn’t want to offend anyone, so he altered the music to make it easier for both the flutes and the trombone to play. The result was a piece of music too low for the flutes and too high for the trombones.

Worst of all, several other instruments were inspired by the trombone and decided to follow in his footsteps.

One of the cellos wanted to be a saxophone.

The french horn decided he was really a cymbal.

And two of the clarinets started playing with the tubas.

Words cannot describe the cacophony that came from the orchestra that day.

And yet, against all odds, when it came time for the great performance the audience celebrated.

What sounded worse than nails on a chalkboard was hailed as “brave,” “authentic,” and “courageous.”

And before long people got so accustomed to this modern take on the orchestra that everybody forgot what music was supposed to sound like.

I think the story of the trombone is a helpful parable for thinking about manhood and womanhood in our confused age.

We live in a day where countless men and women are told that design doesn’t matter.

Our bodies are telling us one thing—down to the chromosomal level in every cell of our being—but our hearts are telling us something else.

And time and time again, feelings trump biology.

Until we’ve reached a point where we’ve become so accustomed to this modern take on gender that much of the world has forgotten what manhood and womanhood was supposed to look like.

Even if some of these problems are new, the solutions are really old. The Bible tells us everything we need to know to live faithfully as men and women in a confused age.

Turn to Titus 2

About thirty years after Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead, the Apostle Paul wrote a brief letter to a pastor named Titus.

Titus, too, was living in a confused age.

Sure, their confusion looked a bit different than ours does today.

But even though the disease was different, the cure was the same.

And in Paul’s words to this pastor I believe we find exactly what we need to live faithfully as men and women in a confused age.

The Big idea I hope to communicate this morning is that Only the church truly has what it takes to raise boys and girls into men and women.

And from our text I want you to notice Three Reasons the church is uniquely situated to stand against the confusion of any and every age:

We have the truth,

We have each other, and

We have the grace of God.

Those three reasons will make up our outline today. Let’s begin with reason number one...

1) We Have the TRUTH

The parable of the trombone is an apt depiction of the confusion in our culture.

In 2024, we are having debates that would not have made sense even a few decades ago.

Who can go in which bathroom? Who can play on which sports team? Who can qualify for a woman of the year award? What is a woman anyways?

But the confusion runs much deeper than the confusion represented by the “T” in LGBTQ.

Long before Bruce changed his name to Caitlin, Americans were confused about gender.

What does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a woman?

What is the role of a husband or a wife?

What’s the difference between a mom and a dad?

Sadly, many churches were ill-equipped to answer these questions because they had long since abandoned what the Bible teaches about men and women in the church.

You might feel many things when you think about our current cultural confusion.

Disgust. Anger. Frustration. Disdain. Compassion.

But you should not feel surprised.

A culture that does not have a category for absolute truth cannot figure this out.

That’s why the church is uniquely situated to stand against the confusion of our age. We have the truth!

Titus 2:1—But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine.

Paul tells Titus to teach what is healthy and true. That’s what sound doctrine means. It’s true teaching.

But how do we know what teaching is true?

We can answer that question by looking to another time that word “doctrine” is used in Titus.

Titus 1:9—[An elder] must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

So sound doctrine holds firm to the Scriptures as trustworthy.

We can trust the Scriptures, even when they talk about manhood and womanhood!

I’ve tried to demonstrate throughout this series that our doctrine is biblical.

I’m not interested in “Poquoson manhood and womanhood” or “Baptist manhood and womanhood,” but biblical manhood and womanhood.

You can judge for yourselves how well we’ve done, but please know our desire is to teach that which agrees with the Word of God.

Because we have the truth, we should follow in the footsteps of Titus and “teach what accords with sound doctrine.”

Even in tough areas like what the Bible teaches about manhood and womanhood.

But before we move on, let’s consider a few brief applications.

First, we should be humble!

We don’t have the truth because we figured this out! It’s not that we’re smarter than the world.

We only know the truth about manhood and womanhood because God has revealed it to us!

On the political right and left, there’s a lot of arrogance about gender issues. But there should not be any arrogance in the heart of the Christian.

If we know the truth, it’s only by the grace of God. So let’s act like it in how we relate to each other.

Second, we should submit!

I realize this teaching is offensive to many people.

Perhaps you’re here and you’re not a believer, and you’re thinking “It’s offensive stuff like this that keeps me from becoming a Christian!”

With all due respect, if there really is a God what are the odds that He wouldn’t occasionally be offensive to you?

Even as Christians, we are sometimes offended by the words and ways of God. But He is God and we are not. So we submit to Him.

Third, we should rejoice!

I was talking to one of our young people a few weeks ago and she said this series was so helpful for her because the Bible is so clear and answers so many questions that young people are asking about who we’re supposed to be.

We live in a world with so many choices. Some of us can’t even choose a shampoo without being paralyzed by indecision because there’s so many options!

And now the world is telling you to figure out your gender too because your body could be lying to you!

Isn’t it amazing the Bible gives us such clear and good teaching about who we are and what we’re called to do?

Fourth, we should study!

Like it or not, this issue is under attack today. So Christian, you need to know what you believe and why.

Although he probably really didn’t say this, listen to this famous quote attributed to Martin Luther:

“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the Word of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Him. Where the battle rages there the loyalty of the soldier is proved; and to be steady on all the battle front besides, is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point.”

We need to be ready to stand firm on this issue. And we’ll do that by faithfully studying what God’s Word says and what Christians have always believed about biblical manhood and womanhood.

Only the church truly has what it takes to raise boys and girls into men and women because we have the truth.

But also because...

2) We Have EACH OTHER

If you wanted to learn to play the trombone, having a standard is essential.

You need something like a piece of sheet music to measure how well you’re doing. You need some objective standard to follow.

But as important as sheet music is, equally important would be joining an orchestra where you can play alongside a group of people committed to learning the same piece of music.

There’s simply no substitute for learning an instrument alongside a community of other people who can show you the way.

That’s exactly the sort of thing we have in the local church.

The Scriptures are like our sheet music, an objective standard telling us how God expects us to live as men and women.

Technically, we could learn how to live faithfully as men and women with just the Word of God.

But what an amazing gift that God gives us this beautiful family called the local church.

And just like a novice trombone player can learn his instrument alongside more seasoned trombonists, God has designed for both men and women to learn how to follow Him alongside more mature believers.

That’s the picture we get in...

Titus 2:2–8—Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

We’re not going to zoom in with these verses, looking at all the different virtues that men and women are called to teach one another.

Instead, I want you to notice three big picture lessons:

First, God’s design for men and women is different.

The commands for men and women are different.

Paul’s point is not that only women should be “working at home” or only men should be steadfast.

Or that only older men need to be sober or only young men need to be self-controlled.

He’s highlighted specific temptations for specific groups during specific stages of life.

Like a section of instruments in an orchestra, there are specific parts that men and women are called to play.

Second, God’s typical design is for men to teach men and women to teach women.

You see that clearly in verses 3-5 where women are teaching one another.

I was so encouraged yesterday by a group of nearly 50 women gathered here to launch a discipleship ministry based on these verses in Titus 2.

Would you join me in praying the Lord uses this ministry as a catalyst for amazing spiritual growth among the women of this church?

Men, the implication from this text is that we will do the same thing.

That doesn’t mean we have to do a T2D ministry for men, although that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. It does mean we will be pouring into other men.

And I’m so grateful for the many men’s discipleship groups that are happening in homes and coffee shops and restaurants throughout the week. Thank you, men, for pouring into one another!

Just to be clear, Paul’s point is not that a woman can never teach a man or a man can never teach a woman, but there are some things best taught by people of the same sex.

Third, God designed this teaching to happen within the context of the local church.

Titus is a pastor, and Paul is writing to him with instructions about life in the local church.

Titus 2:15—Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.

Because we have each other, we should follow in the footsteps of this church and help one another grow in godliness.

Even in tough areas like what the Bible teaches about manhood and womanhood.

But before we move on, let’s consider a few applications.

First, you need a church family!

The Christian life was not meant to be lived alone.

Few people are all that interested in a trombone solo. But put a trombone alongside 99 other instruments and you’ve got an orchestra that can make music a single trombone could never make on his own.

In the same way, you will never make the beautiful music God intends for your life as a Christian without the local church.

Very few people will be able to withstand the cultural pressure on gender issues without belonging to a local church that teaches sound doctrine.

If you’re with us this morning and you’re not a member of a local church, can I ask you why not? What is keeping you from making this commitment? How might your Christian life be enhanced by belonging to, and not just attending, a local church?

If you’d like to talk to someone about the next steps for membership at PBC, I’d love to talk with you after the service.

Second, you need a mentor!

I believe nearly every Christian needs some sort of mentor.

In Titus 2, the younger people have the older people as mentors, the older people have Titus, and Titus has the Apostle Paul.

You might be tempted to think, “Aha! The Apostle Paul doesn’t have a mentor!” Well you’re no Apostle Paul.

I am so grateful the Lord has given me multiple men in my life to mentor me in different areas. Including some of our older pastors here at PBC, other older pastors in our area, and some of the men who helped train me for ministry.

Who do you have in your life to mentor you? Who can you look to for counsel and godly advice in your marriage, your family, your work, or your area of Christian ministry?

Do you have a mentor who’s excelling in his manhood or her womanhood who can help you grow as a man or a woman?

Third, you need peers!

Whether you view yourself as a “younger” or an “older” believer, it’s interesting that both groups are plural.

In other words, God’s design is for you to have men and women in your church who are your peers who know what it’s like to follow Jesus in your stage of life.

Like the violinist in the orchestra who gets to follow the conductor alongside other violinists who are playing the same notes.

One reason I’m so grateful for PBC is that we’re a church where, no matter your age, you can find people who are your peers. We are richly blessed to have men and women, boys and girls in every generation who are following Jesus together.

Finally, you need someone to disciple!

Whether you’re a relatively new believer or you’ve been a Christian for decades, you should find someone that knows less than you do and help them follow Jesus.

Moms and dads and grandparents, a great place to start is with your children and grandchildren.

Maybe you could do this by volunteering in our kids or youth ministries.

Perhaps you could find someone in your Fellowship Group or Sunday School class.

Perhaps you could get involved in a ministry like Hope for Addiction.

Wherever you find someone, God’s design for every believer is that we help other believers follow Jesus!

Only the church truly has what it takes to raise boys and girls into men and women because we have each other.

But finally because...

3) We Have the GRACE OF GOD

Of course there is a sense in which everyone receives grace from God.

Whether you’re a Christian or not, you can experience the gift of a delicious cup of coffee, or the warmth of a soft blanket in the winter, or the joy of family, or the pleasure of watching your team win a big game.

All those things are grace. They’re undeserved blessings that all people can enjoy.

But if you’re a Christian you have received something more than the common grace that’s available to everybody.

You’ve been given God’s special grace.

A grace that isn’t just seen outside us, but a grace that works inside us.

A grace that doesn’t merely bless us, but transforms us.

Consider with me Three ways God’s special grace transforms His people:

A) God’s Grace SAVES Us

Titus 2:11—For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people

We know from the rest of Scripture that all paths do not lead to the same place. Not all people will be saved. So what does Paul mean when he talks about salvation for all people?

I believe the answer is found in verse 14, where Paul once again mentions this people...

Titus 2:14—[Jesus] gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

So the “all people” in verse 11 are the people in verse 14 who are redeemed, purified, and zealous for good works.

So what Paul’s saying in verse 11 is that God’s grace appears and brings salvation to all HIS people.

Perhaps you’re wondering, how do I know if I am one of God’s people?

God’s people are those who have turned from their sins and trusted Jesus.

So ask yourself a simple question: do I believe the gospel?

If you’re new here you need to know what we mean when we use the word “gospel.”

We’re not talking about a style of music.

The word literally means “good news.”

It’s the good news about what God has done to rescue sinful people.

You can remember this gospel easily by remembering four words:

God. He is a holy and righteous Creator who made the world and everything in it.

Humanity. Our first parents, Adam and Eve, rebelled against God. As a result, all of us are sinners against God by nature and choice. And because of that we are cursed to eternal separation from God and everything good.

If you’re paying attention, that’s not really good news so far is it? That’s why we need...

Jesus. He is the eternal Son of God. He was sent into this world to live a sinless life and die a sinner’s death as a substitute for sinners. Three days later He rose from the dead, proving His victory over Satan, sin, and death.

But we must respond to this Good News, so consider our final word...

Response. People are not saved automatically by the work of Jesus. They must repent and believe in this good news. They must turn from their sins and trust in Jesus.

A bit later, you’re going to hear stories from several new believers who did just that.

Some of them are very young, some are a bit older. Some are male, some are female. Some grew up in Christian homes, others did not.

But none of them are saved by their own works or efforts. All of them are saved by the grace of God alone.

But let me ask you, have you responded to this good news?

The gospel is like a one-person kayak that every individual must step into on their own. You cannot ride with your parents or your friends. You yourselves must turn from your sins and trust in Jesus.

What about you? Have you been saved by the grace of God? Or are you still trying to earn your way to God? You can follow everything we’ve taught about manhood and womanhood in this series and still go to hell. Because we are not saved by how well we do as men and women, we are saved by the grace of God!

God’s people have been saved by His grace. But also...

B) God’s Grace TRAINS Us

We’ve said repeatedly today that biblical manhood and womanhood is a bit like joining an orchestra. The Scriptures are the sheet music that tell us what to do, the local church is the other instruments that help us learn how to follow the Word of God.

But God in His amazing grace gives us still more. He does not only give us the Scriptures and the church outside of us to help us, He gives us grace that trains us from the inside-out.

Titus 2:12—training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age

God’s grace trains us to renounce ungodliness.

Think of the ungodly ideas and philosophies that the world has about things like gender.

The more you grow in grace, the more you’ll grow in discernment to see that the world’s ideas lead to death, not life.

God’s grace also trains us to renounce worldly passions.

Think of the ways your own flesh tempts you to twist what the Bible says about gender.

Maybe that’s gender confusion.

It would be foolish to assume nobody in this room has been tempted by the gender confusion that is flooding our culture. Dear brother, sister, friend, God’s grace can train you to think rightly about who you are.

If you’ve wrestled with this, I want you to know that we love you and we want to help you.

Perhaps the first step is simply opening up with one or two Christians who can help you think through this challenge.

Maybe the wordly passions you need to renounce are the culture’s unhealthy stereotypes about gender.

You're a man, but you don’t feel masculine because you don’t shoot things or lift heavy things or drive a truck.

You’re a woman, but you don’t feel feminine because you don’t look like the women on the magazine covers.

God’s grace can train you to think rightly about masculinity and femininity, and be content with who you are in Christ.

Whatever your struggle, God’s grace can train you to be self-controlled, upright, and godly in this confused age.

God’s people are trained by His grace. But finally...

C) God’s Grace SUSTAINS Us

Titus 2:13—waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ

There is coming a day when we will see Jesus’ face and this lifelong battle to be faithful as men and women in a confused age will be over.

As I prepared this sermon, my mind was drawn to two funerals at PBC over the past few years. Cliff Hall and Patti Hall. And no, they were not related.

Neither Cliff nor Patti fit all the cultural stereotypes of masculinity or femininity.

Neither one ever got married. Neither had children. For those reasons, a lot of what we’ve talked about in this series didn’t directly apply to them.

I’m sure biblical manhood and womanhood wasn’t always easy for Cliff or Patti. In fact, I’m confident it wasn’t.

And yet, Patti was a godly woman. And Cliff was a godly man.

And both of them are now in the presence of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.

And if the Christian life is like an orchestra, both Cliff and Patti are now playing their parts better than they ever could in this life.

And if your faith is in Christ, God’s grace will sustain you until that day too.

I don’t know all the ways that biblical manhood and womanhood may be hard for you.

But I do know that Jesus is worth it. And the grace which brought you safe this far, will be the same grace that brings you home.

Prayer of Thanksgiving

Please stand.

If you’re getting baptized, get ready now.

If you’ve got children in nursery, please pick them up now so we can all celebrate these baptisms together.

Amazing Grace

Celebration of Baptism

Kayla Fox (Holly reading testimony)

Leo Jordan (Aaron reading testimony)

Ales Jordan (Aaron reading testimony)

Colter Nunn (Morgan reading testimony)

Benediction (2 Corinthians 13:14)