Through The Eyes of Greif

INTRODUCTION:

This morning we’re going to begin a new series entitled “Through Their Eyes” as we work through the Passion Week of Jesus and the days following his resurrection.

The big idea behind the series is that Jesus Changes Everything.

He changes the way you think, he changes the way you love, he changes the way you feel and he can change the way you live. Anything that Jesus touches he changes.

For this series, we’re going to examine how Jesus changes four things in particular. Four subjects that you’ll never see the same again after you encounter Jesus in a meaningful way.

This morning we’re going to see how Jesus changes our relationship with grief.

On Thursday we’re going to see how Jesus changes our relationship with power.

On Easter we’re going to see how Jesus changes our relationship with doubt.

Then the week following Easter we’ll see how Jesus changes our relationship with failure.

I know most of you will only be able to make it for Sunday morning so let me challenge you to make a commitment to be here for each of the next three Sundays.

Passion Week

This Sunday is the beginning of what’s traditionally known as the “Passion Week of Jesus.”

The word “Passion” comes from the latin word passio which means “to suffer.”

So during the Passion Week we often highlight the suffering of Jesus as reflected in the various events leading up to his crucifixion and resurrection.

Here’s a basic rundown.

Sunday: the triumphal entry and Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey.

Monday: Jesus cleanses the temple and confronts the religious leaders of the day.

Tuesday: Jesus teaches in the temple and sparks controversy and division

Wednesday: Mary anoints Jesus’ feet and Judas agrees to betray him.

Thursday: The Last Supper, Garden of Gethsemane and Jesus arrest.

Friday: Jesus trial, crucifixion, death and burial

Saturday: The disciples scatter and Sabbath silence while Jesus tomb is sealed.

Sunday: Jesus is raised and appears to his disciples multiples times/places.

Today’s message is going to zero on on the Friday of Passion week which is the trial and crucifixion of Jesus.

But I don’t want us to focus so much on the events of Friday that we miss the point of the series which is how the experiences of those first-hand eyewitnesses utterly changed them forever.

I want us to enter in to the grieving and the doubt of the people who were originally present so that we might see these events “through their eyes.”

So our preaching text this morning is going to be Jesus’ words to his mother as he hung on the cross.

Read the Text

Let’s pick it up in John 19:21. By this point in the narrative Jesus has been beaten and tortured within an inch of his life.

He has carried a wooden cross through the city up a hill to a place called Golgotha.

Roman soldiers have put nails in his hands and his feet, fixing two beams together to make a cross and hoisted it up so that Jesus was hanging there, between two criminals, gasping for every breath.

Pilate had a sign made that the soldiers are about to fix to the cross that said “Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.” (written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek)

John 19:21–27 CSB

21 So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, “Don’t write, ‘The king of the Jews,’ but that he said, ‘I am the king of the Jews.’ ” 22 Pilate replied, “What I have written, I have written.” 23 When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes and divided them into four parts, a part for each soldier. They also took the tunic, which was seamless, woven in one piece from the top. 24 So they said to one another, “Let’s not tear it, but cast lots for it, to see who gets it.” This happened that the Scripture might be fulfilled that says: They divided my clothes among themselves, and they cast lots for my clothing. This is what the soldiers did. 25 Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple he loved standing there, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

Standing Near the Cross

I want you to put yourself in the shoes of these four women and Jesus’ disciple, John. (which is an indictment, by the way, that all the women are there but most of the male disciples are not.

For those of you who don’t recognize these names let me introduce you to the characters.

Jesus’ mother was Mary wife of Joseph. (Some believe Joseph might’ve died by this point)

Mary Magdalene was a very devoted disciple of Jesus out of whom seven demons we cast.

There is debate about the other two women but the traditional view is that

Salame is Mary’s sister and also the mother of James and John (beloved disciple)

and Mary the wife of Clopas (mentioned only here) is historically understood to be the wife of Joseph’s brother - making her Jesus’ aunt.

Finally you’ve got John - the beloved disciple - who’s mom is also likely present.

We know from the other Gospel accounts that other people were also present but John focuses in on these five names in particular and leaves himself and his mother unnamed as was characteristic of his writing in this Gospel.

The other thing that’s important to note about these five people is “where they standing” when they see what they see.

They are standing, “by the cross.”

It’s not just a descriptive phrase it’s an important theological point.

For Jesus to change the way you grieve, you must see him while standing near the cross

Because seeing Jesus there, changes the way you understand your suffering.

It’s not an understatement to say that the cross of Jesus Christ is central to Christianity.

It’s why the apostle Paul said of his preaching ministry - I dedicated to no nothing else except Christ and Christ Crucified.

The cross changes the way Christians see many things in this world. It’s our motivation for forgiveness, endurance, obedience and all sorts of things.

But as we’ll see this morning it’s also fundamental for how we understand and transform our experience of grief.

Through Their Eyes

So as we think about drawing near to Jesus as he hangs on the cross I want you to put yourself in the shoes of these five individuals.

Think about the things they would’ve seen, the smells they would’ve smelt, the words they would’ve heard and the emotions they would’ve felt.

Jesus’ Mom

For Mary, Jesus’ mother - this is the worst possible thing that she’s probably ever lived through outside of the death of her own husband.

At a purely physical level, she is losing an adult child - a grief that no mother should have to endure as it’s not the natural order of things.

At a spiritual level, she’s also a disciple of Jesus and believes him to be the Messiah and the Son of God.

Imagine the emotional toll of seeing your own child unjustly tortured and put to death. When they shoved a spear through Jesus’ side it was a like shoving a spear into her heart.

I wonder if she was reminded of that childhood prophecy that was spoken over Jesus by Simeon in Luke 2:34-35

Luke 2:34–35 CSB

34 Then Simeon blessed them and told his mother Mary, “Indeed, this child is destined to cause the fall and rise of many in Israel and to be a sign that will be opposed—35 and a sword will pierce your own soul—that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

For Mary to witness what she is witnessing would’ve been a sword though her heart.

Imagine looking at the soldiers as they separated and divided Jesus’ clothing, clothing that she very well may have woven herself. And their gambling over Jesus’ tunic like he was a commodity instead of the son of God.

Imagine her overhearing the complaints by the chief priests, “don’t write King of the Jews but that he SAID he was the king of the Jews.”

Would she have remembered the words of the angel in Luke 1:33?

Luke 1:33 CSB

33 He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and his kingdom will have no end.”

How was she to reconcile these two things while she looked at her son hanging on the cross? What went through her mind?

In thinking about Mary it’s also interesting to note that her other sons are NOT present with her. John had mentioned earlier in his letter that they didn’t believe Jesus to be the son of God. (John 7:5)

Do you think the conversations she might’ve had with them might’ve been rolling through her head. She did doubt the Lord in that moment? The promises of the angels. The prophecy of Simeon.

When grieving it’s easy to doubt the goodness and promises of God.

Jesus’ mother would’ve rightly been angry, disappointed, confused, hurt and emotionally destroyed by the things that she was seeing.

The Others

But Mary wasn’t the only one standing there. She was also joined by Jesus’ disciples like Mary Magdalene and John, his mother (Salome) and Jesus’ aunt.

What would they have seen? What would they have thought?

It’s easy to focus only on the immediate circumstances, the darkness instead of the light, the apparent triumph of evil instead of the ultimate victory of God.

I believe John might’ve thought back to those warnings that Jesus had given about the “hour drawing near.”

As he heard the complaint of the chief priests maybe he got angry and upset by the injustice of it all. The ignorance and willful hatred from “so called” men of God.

Maybe he also began to doubt himself and whether he rightly understood what Jesus had been saying about the kingdom.

Maybe he was having a crisis of faith because of the gap between his theological understanding and the reality of his current experiences.

Grieving can blind us to what IS because of the loss of what WAS.

Examples:

I’m not saying we should feel guilty about that reality. It’s an instinctual response of the human heart to personal loss.

Each of these individuals would’ve been reminded in that moment of all they were going to lose because of the loss of Jesus.

It was Jesus who cast out seven demons from Mary Magdalene. It was Jesus who had given her new life and new purpose.

Surely she thought to herself, “now that Jesus is gone will darkness return? Am I doomed to return to a life of brokenness and shame?”

I’m sure Salome and John were asking, “What is life going to look like now? We gave up everything to follow Jesus and now he’s gone and we’ve got nothing left.”

WHAT WE SEE

All of these things would’ve been felt by the people standing at the cross. In seeing what they saw they would’ve been reminded of what EVERY PERSON feels when they grieve loss in this world.

From the cross we can see something is seriously wrong with this world.

That’s our first major point from this text.

G.K. Chesterton famously said, “Original sin is the only Christian doctrine that doesn’t need any proving because we read about it on the headlines every single day.”

Something is broken in us and in our world.

We may not agree on how to fix the world but we all agree that the world needs fixing.

We see injustice, we see cruelty, we see pain and we see misery. Something is wrong.

Application

If Jesus is going to change your relationship with grief you’ve got to begin here.

There are other religions and perspectives that say your suffering IS NOT REAL. It’s illusory. It’s in your head. It’s only a matter of perspective.

But that’s not a Christian understanding of grief or loss.

Christians understand and are invited to grieve the fact that suffering IS REAL.

That injustice IS WRONG.

My loss WASN’T RIGHT.

The divorce wasn’t GOOD.

Death is an unnatural invasion into God’s original and proper order.

To overcome your grief you’ve got to feel it for what it is.

It’s not from God it’s an attack ON GOD.

It’s the fruit and consequence of sin in this world.

The greater the sin the greater the suffering.

It’s also true that not all suffering is because of personal sin. Jesus didn’t have personal sin and yet he suffered terribly on the cross.

Sometimes your loss isn’t the result of God’s discipline for something you did wrong. Sometimes it’s the result of Satan’s schemes in tempting you to shipwreck in your faith.

Jesus Sees

But that’s not the only thing you’ll see from the cross. That’s not the only way Jesus changes our relationship with suffering.

From the cross you’ll also notice that Jesus sees your suffering.

You see this explicitly in Jesus’ conversation with his mother. John 19:26

John 19:26 CSB

26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple he loved standing there, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.”

When Jesus saw… I love those three words.

The God of all creation is dying a cruel and unjust death at the hands of ignorant soldiers who know not what they’re doing.

He’s paying the penalty for their sins, your sins, my sins and the sins of the world as he becomes our atoning sacrifice on the cross so we might be forgiven and reconciled to God.

And yet, in spite of all of those things, he takes time to look at the grieving and pain of his mother and one of his disciples and engages them in conversation.

So many people have a conception of God that he’s up in heaven and he distant and detached and disinterested from what’s going on in the hear and now.

That is not the God of the Bible. That is not a Christian view of grieving and loss.

We have a God who is with us. Who sees us.

He gives us grace to deal with our sin.

He gives us wisdom to deal with our problems.

He gives us stability to deal with our uncertainty.

He gives us his presence to deal with our loneliness.

Because the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

Jesus is the good shepherd of Psalm 23 which means even though he has an entire universe to run and save, he slows down - walks slowly through the crowds - and he sees you and me.

Jesus Sympathizes

We don’t just see this truth in the fact that Jesus sees his mother and John. We also see it in the very fact that Jesus is himself suffering on the cross.

I love the way the book of Hebrews puts it, Hebrews 4:15

Hebrews 4:15 CSB

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin.

Jesus is our great high priest. Unlike the “high priests” mentioned in our passage who were more concerned with their reputation than the unjust death of Jesus and those grieving over it, Jesus actually cares for his people.

A priest was somebody who was supposed to mediate between you and God. Someone who would pray for you and care for you and minster to your needs.

It’s really a powerful reversal because as a child Mary would’ve been ministering to the needs of Jesus. She would’ve prayed for him, ministered to him, took care of his every need.

As a child, when Jesus had a need, Mary would be the one who saw. Now, on the cross, even in death, it is Jesus who sees.

But Jesus doesn’t just see our suffering. He sympathizes with our pain. Meaning Jesus doesn’t just see suffering he suffers alongside us.

That’s what the Greek word means. “sum patho” suffer with.

Which is exactly what we see when we look to the cross. We don’t just see suffering. We see GOD SUFFERING.

Jesus is not only aware of the fact that we’re in pain. Jesus enters into and experiences our pain WITH US.

He KNOWS what it’s like to lose somebody he loves. He wept at the tomb of his friend Lazarus. He knows what it’s like to be betrayed and forsaken. He experienced it himself.

Jesus Supplies

But it doesn’t stop there. From the cross we see something is WRONG with this world. We see Jesus CARES and understands.

But from the cross we also see Jesus SUPPLIES us what we need to deal with our grief.

John 19:26–27 “26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple he loved standing there, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.”

I don’t know who needed who but Jesus is providing a gift in either direction.

I read several commentaries that pointed out the fact that Jesus was likely the “breadwinner” of the home. As the first-born he would’ve had that natural responsibility.

We know his brothers didn’t initially believe in him (James converts later after the resurrection.)

It might’ve been that Mary wouldn’t have had anybody else or any other source of financial provision.

From the cross Jesus sees and recognizes that fact and commissions John to meet the need.

I might also have been that John needed Mary.

John had become so oriented towards serving Jesus and advancing the Gospel of the Kingdom that I’m sure he would’ve felt lost and disoriented as to what needed to happen next.

Jesus, even in death, it providing John with an act of service that will infuse his life with meaning and purpose as he walks through this process of grief.

In grief, different people have different needs. Here’s what you need to know.

Jesus KNOWS what you need and is committed to giving it to you.

Earlier we read from the book of Hebrews that Jesus is not unable to sympathize with us in our weakness.

The verse right after that then encourages ALL DISCIPLES to “draw near to God’s throne of grace and receive help.” Why? Because as our high priest Jesus also supplies our need.

Hebrews 4:16 CSB

16 Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.

How Much More So

If this was true of Jesus as he hung on the cross for his mother and friend, how much more so can Jesus provide for us now in his exaltation?

Because of what Jesus accomplished on the cross our greatest need has been met.

What Mary and John couldn’t fully appreciate in that moment is that Jesus’ death on the cross was bringing an end to all death and suffering in this world.

Through death Jesus was going to defeat death.

Through his nakedness and shame he was bringing an end to our nakedness and shame.

Through his suffering and death he was not only making atonement for the sins of those who believed in him during that time.

His death was made an atoning sacrifice for their sins, for our sins and for the sins of the entire world.

Our sin debt before God has been wiped out because of the death of Jesus on the cross.

Our fear of death has been wiped out because of the death of Jesus on the cross.

Our shame and regret has been wiped away because of the death of Jesus on the cross.

When we stand near the cross and look to Jesus we see Jesus supply us with

Total forgiveness

A new life

A living hope

A new purpose

A better inheritance

Jesus can provide you with what you need. And only what Jesus provides can help you whether your in the lowest valley or the highest mountain.

We see that when we relate to our grief while standing near the cross.

Surrounded By New Family

The last thing we see from this passage is that Jesus surrounds us with new family.

At the cross we notice…

that something is wrong with this world.

that Jesus sees and sympathizes with our pain.

that Jesus supplies us with what we need.

that Jesus surrounds us with new family.

John 19:27 CSB

27 Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

What you see here is an example of how Jesus changes everything.

He doesn’t just change the way we understand our grief. He also changes the support system we have access to when dealing with our grief.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done a funeral and heard the words, “I just don’t know how anybody survives a loss like this without the hope of Jesus and a church family.”

It’s the ongoing presence of Jesus through the hands and feet of Jesus’ followers that transforms our grief.

Because of Jesus, not only can we entrust the people we lose into the hands of God.

We can also entrust ourselves to the compassion and love of God’s people.

The death of Jesus changes the way we even understand the idea of a family.

Mary was the true mother of Jesus and yet Jesus says to John “behold your mother.”

John was the child of Salome (also present) and yet Jesus says to Mary “behold your son.”

Jesus is transforming the idea of what family is in the kingdom of God.

When you become a Christian you are adopted into GOD’S FAMILY. And unlike our biological families on earth - God’s family will last forever.

Examples in Gospels

There’s an interesting example of this in the Gospels.

One is Matthew 12 where Jesus’ mother and brothers are standing outside the temple Jesus is teaching in wanting to speak with him. They stop Jesus’ teaching to let him know and he responds

Matthew 12:48–50 CSB

48 He replied to the one who was speaking to him, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” 49 Stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

This is why the New Testaments calls us “brothers and sisters” in the Lord. It’s why Paul tells Timothy to connect fatherless boys and girls with Spiritual moms and dads.

The Family of God is an forever family.

That’s not to say your biological family can’t also become a spiritual family. But it is to say that when you come to Christ - even though you LOSE your biological family - even if you lose them forever in death - you will never have to walk alone if you place yourself in God’s family.

You will always have brothers and sisters and fathers and mothers who will walk with you through your pain and suffering.

The family of God is a forever family.

This is why Jesus says we ought to “love him more” than our Father and Mother and Brother and Sister.

Because in following Jesus we get something even greater than those earthly ties and relationships.

And that changes our relationship with grief.

We don’t have to grieve as others do, who have no hope. We have hope of a resurrection and eternal fellowship with those that we painfully say goodbye to today.

We also don’t have to grieve as though what we lost will never be regained. Jesus said whoever has left wife or children or brother or sister for him will gain 10 fold both in this life and in the life to come. (Matthew 19:29)

The gift of God’s family is greater and the duration of God’s family is longer than any worldly alternative.

CONCLUSION

So as we wrap up today’s message let me challenge you to draw near the cross and allow Jesus to change the way you grieve

All of us here are likely to have lost something or someone that meant the world to us.

Jesus is here this morning to tell you are not wrong to grieve such a loss. It was not right. It was an invasion into the natural order and original design of God.

But you don’t have to allow your grief to cause you to doubt God’s goodness.

You’re grief does not nullify God’s promise.

You’re grieving over what’s been lost does NOT have to blind you to what currently IS.

The truth is Jesus sees you in your pain and suffering. He sees you and he understands what you’re going through because he himself has experienced something similar.

Because of Jesus’ perfect righteousness and love he has done for you on the cross what you would’ve never been able to do yourself.

He brought an end to the finality of death. He brought an end to the triumph of evil.

And one day all of this brokenness will come untrue. And even on THIS day those who are dead in Christ are alive and well in heaven.

And there’s coming a day where that glory and life will visit this earth once more and swallow up our sadness as all things become new.

Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God. Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you can trust him with what you’ve lost. Why can’t you trust him with everything else as well?