Three Lessons From My High School Years

Hello! Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time today. My name is Joshua VanZandbeek. A couple of things to know about me:

I am a WISDOM homeschool graduate, and a graduate of Vanguard College here in Edmonton.

My wife Katie, son Jonathan, and a new little addition coming in April live in the town of Leask Saskatchewan. It’s about 400 people total, and we love it.

We pastor Leask Gospel Tabernacle, and moved from Edmonton about 10 months ago.

The topic today is all about making it count. Because the reality for all of us is that high school is a relatively short period of time in which a lot happens. And most of feel pressure. Pressure to perform, pressure to figure out who we want to be when we grow up. Pressure to turn out grade-a, calculous busting, perfect person.

The thing is, each of us has our own story. My story is different from _____, or yours or your parents. Each journey is different.

So, I don’t claim to have all the answers. If fact I think I have more questions than answers about a lot of things. But having homeschooled through high school and then to moving on to college, having a family, and now pastoring, I have learned a few lessons. I hope will be helpful to you in your journey homeschooling through high school road.

So, the first thing I learned that I wanted to share as I was thinking about today is this:

Do Talk | Don’t Isolate

Talk, lots. Even if you’re not the most talkative person ever, it is important that you communicate, even with a few key people. Two of those key people hopefully, are you parents.

When I was in high school, there was a lot going on in my life. Trying to decide what I wanted to do after high school, trying to make it through high school, figuring out my faith, my identity, and going through some significant personal struggles.

In Grade 11, I went online for my schooling. It was a good program, but it turned out not to be a good fit for me, for a lot of different reasons. I spent a year not telling my parents what was happening for me, and dealing with some significant struggles. It took me a year before I finally sat down with my mom and told her what was happening for me, and where I was at. Up to that point, I was becoming more isolated, and my schooling and many other areas in my life were starting to feel it. The first step to overcoming challenges I had was to sit down and start actually talking to my parents. It wasn’t a fix-all, but it was the starting point.

I don’t know where you’re at right now. Maybe you’re struggling with school, or the future, or in some other personal way. The reality is, we can’t live in a vacuum - we need each other. And we need to communicate with each other. But the key in this is how we communicate.

Proverbs 18:21 NIV

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Literally, it has the power of life and death. What you say can easily build someone up or tear them down. When I came to my parents and addressed some of the things that I was really struggling with, they could have reacted 100 different ways. They could have been angry, refused to talk to me, or in some other way torn me down. But they didn’t. They listened, and tried to help. I am thankful for two wise parents who helped me get through that tough time in my life.

So, I guess the first thing we learned was the value of healthy communication. I learned that I needed to talk to my parents, and trust them. God had placed them in my life particularly during that time in my life to help guide and coach me through. But the other side of that realization is that both student and parent must be willing to listen first, speak second, and communicate in love.

This journey is a partnership. It requires cooperation. And Cooperation requires healthy communication.

At this point in my life, I am blessed to have a great relationship with both my parents, and we talk often. But during those high school years we had to learn how to communicate. I needed to learn to listen, and be honest with them. My mom and I had to learn to listen to each other. Our ability to communicate was forged in fire. So, this is something that doesn’t happen over night, but it is a key ingredient to making your high schooling count.

Do Set Goals | Don’t Give Up

Sometimes - ok probably most of the time - high school is that big looming thing that sits on the horizon of most of your early formal education. With it comes all these expectations: what am I going to do, who am I going to be? What if I don’t make the right grade, etc…

Couple this with the time of life that most students find themselves in: you have experienced rapid growth physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritual in the last few years. That is only continuing. Parent are probably nervous for their kids too - maybe just as nervous if not more. In high school, so many new things happens, and this period of adjustment is big for mom and dad too.

So, something that I think I learned during high school was to not give up, but set achievable goals.

Think about this with me: If I say to someone right at the outset of high school: you need to finish math to calculous, English to college-level mastery, all of your sciences to an Alberta ed standard, and get a job, and have a plan for your life in the next three years, they would probably burst in to tears, or punch me in the nose. Why? Because when I frame it like that all of this seems way to big to conquer.

Instead, set achievable goals for yourself. What am I going to do today, and this week, and this year. Set goals that are attainable.

It’s good to have the goal to reach a math 30-1 standard by the end of high school. But that goal alone won’t take you far, because it’s too big. Instead, you need to give yourself a goal for this year. What am I going to do this year to further this bigger goal? Likewise, what am I going to do this week, or even just today? Because today you aren’t going to complete all of your math. Today, you are going to place one more stone in front of you, on the path toward your future, and accomplishing those bigger goals.

Likewise, recognize that not everyone is a math person, or a science person, or a language arts person. We all have strengths and weaknesses. My strengths lie in language arts, history, social studies-type stuff. My weaknesses? math. Big time. I am not a math guy. Unfortunately, how I chose to handle that in high school was to give up. To say, no. I dug my heels in and would not finish my math to where it could have been. Now, the math that I could have completed… do I need that today? For the most part, no. But it’s not the math itself that counts, but the stamina and perseverance behind it that does. Because I chose to quit, I struggled with feelings of being a quitter. I am not a quitter, but even to tell myself that now is something I don’t quite believe. God and I are working on it.

So if you’re a math person, and not a language person, that’s ok. Especially in the latter years of high school the beauty is that you can begin tailoring your learning to your interests. This is a huge strength point for homeschooling. But don’t give up. Setting achievable goals and sticking with it is about so much more than getting into your school of choice. These tracks that you lay down now, for perseverance, for grit, are going to serve you well long after you’ve retired and you’re living the comfy life somewhere in Florida.

Proverbs 4:25–26 ESV

Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.

Proverbs is right. Don’t give up, but instead ponder where your feet are going. Plan it out, step by step, and work towards furthering your goals one day at a time.

Do Get Excited | Don’t Fear the Future 

The third thing is something I’ve learned more after high school than in it. Recognize that you will experience a lot of life change fast in the next few years. Trust God, and get excited.

Not everyone’s journey looks the same, as we’ve seen. For me, in the space of 5 years I graduated high school, graduate college, got married, started a family, and started pastoring. Yikes! Haha, somewhere along the way this year I actually started really wishing life would just SLOW DOWN a bit. God is good and He is carrying us through.

This might not be your journey, and that is completely ok. Maybe you’ll work for a couple of years, and then go to post-secondary. Maybe you’ll jump into post secondary out of high school and not look up until you have a doctorate under your belt. Or maybe you won’t go to post-secondary at all. Maybe you’ll get married and have a family right away. Or maybe you’ll wait a few years before that will happen, or not at all. So be it - each of us is different. The common ground for all of us is that in high school and after there will be a lot of life change. You may move out and get a job, or start a degree, or a family, or both!

The bottom line is that in high school you are on the outset - or about to start - this awesome journey in which you will begin to chart much of the course of the rest of your life. Sound scary? Yeah, it’s big. It’s big if you’re a student and trying to figure out where you’re going on the roller coaster of life. It’s big if you’re a parent and care deeply about your child and their future.

How do you deal with that much change that quickly?

Proverbs 3:5–6 ESV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Trust God. I’m not here to shove Jesus down your throat if that’s not where you’re at. But I am here to tell you about my journey. And what I have experienced in high school, and after high school was that for myself, my wife, both sets of our parents, we needed to trust God with the future. That’s how you can not be afraid of it, because you can trust the One who is ultimately guiding your path. And it means that you can learn on Him when growth comes.

Think about growth for a minute. When your body is growing, it might experience growing pains or something like that. It’s uncomfortable. Not fun. Is the growth good? Yes! But fun, not necessarily. Likewise, you are and will continue to be challenged mentally, emotionally, spiritual, and physically, in ways that hopefully will lead to growth. Moment in which we grow are often uncomfortable. When you realize you’ve messed up and need to re-do something. When you are faced with a hard task that is tough to accomplish. When you step into that new situation and it really pushes you out of your comfort zone.

Recognize that you are growing, and will continue to grow A LOT in the next several years, and the rest of your life. Don’t fear that, but be excited. And the way to do that - at least in my experience - is to trust God for the journey, on the days when it’s going great, or on the days when you don’t know how you’re going to get it all done, or don’t know where to go from here. At all times, trust in the Lord, and He will make your paths straight.

So, don’t be afraid, be excited, because God has a plan for your life, and it is good!

Conclusion

So, to recap:

Do talk, don’t isolate. Learn how to communicate as parent and student in healthy ways.

Do set goals, don’t give up. Yeah, high school is a lot, and there’s a lot going on. Take it one day at a time, set goal to achieve the bigger gaols, and work at it together.

Do get excited, don’t fear the future. Is there a lot that’s happening for you, and a lot of change and growth that is going to happen? Yep. Is that bad? No! God has a good plan for your life, and if you trust Him He will guide. Let God lead, and don’t fear growth. Instead, embrace it.

So there you go! That was three ways my parents and I made my time in high school count. If I can leave you with this:

It’s a blessing to be able to home school in high school. It’s not an easy road, and for some not always the best road. But if you are a student homeschooling through high school, take a moment to thank you parents for their commitment to you and your future. If you are a parents guiding your student through the homeschooling in high school journey - thank you for your commitment. May I encourage you to take the time to listen to your son or daughter, and to listen often. I pray wisdom for both you and your student, as together you navigate this journey. I’m genuinely excited for how each of you will flourish in what God’s got for you to do. Stay strong, stay the course, and go make a difference in this world.

Thanks for your time today.