The Undistracted Widow - Chapter 12
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Introduction
Introduction
Facing Your Fears
10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: Be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; Yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
As you may have guessed, our topic for this chapter is fear. It is quite obvious from our Scripture verse that God desires that we not fear, but we are to trust in Him. However, overcoming fear is tough thing for many people.
We begin with...
Top Ten Lists
Top Ten Lists
Any Google search will reveal people have all kinds of phobias. People are afraid of speaking in public, flying in airplanes, spiders, heights and so much more. However, as our author noted, we are concerning ourselves with fears many widows face.
She lists the top fears of widows into these categories...
A Fear of the Future
A Fear of Being Isolated
A Fear of Changing Relational Dynamics
A Fear of Living Alone
A Fear of Running Out of Money
A Fear of Getting Sick and Having No One to Help
As noted, this is not an exhaustive list. Additionally, having a good grasp of Biblical principles will help in overcoming all fear. Yet, as she noted there are some fears that are not bad. In fact, there are some fears we are encouraged to feel in Scripture. The first of these is...
Fear of the Lord
Fear of the Lord
The fear of the Lord is interesting topic to study. Our author explores what exactly does it mean to fear the Lord. She quotes one author who explains that many people often see fear only as a negative emotion that must be avoided. Yet, the fear of the Lord is good kind of fear. We are given four aspects associated with fearing the Lord.
To fear the Lord is...
a consciousness of being in the presence of True Greatness and Majesty
a thrilling sense of privilege
an overflow of respect and admiration, and
a sense that His opinion about my life is the only thing that really matters.
Our author sums it with this.
“So, fearing the Lord involves regarding him with the greatest respect and reverence because we know the greatness of his being. We hallow his name.”
Fearing the Lord is not about living terrified, but about live in awe of Him and begin drawn to Him in love and obedience.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: But a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Fearing God, then, is a good fear. How about the bad fears and how to handle them?
Fear of the Future
Fear of the Future
This particular fear is one by which a person is paralyzed over something that may or many not happen. As noted in our textbook, too worry about what’s going to happen to us in the future is completely useless. God holds the future and only He knows what is to come. For us to question God, is absolutely wrong. We are to trust Him with the future instead.
“Take your “What if…?” questions to God and ask him to change them into words of praise for his promised provision of all you need.”
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
17 Let not thine heart envy sinners: But be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long.
18 For surely there is an end; And thine expectation shall not be cut off.
10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: A good understanding have all they that do his commandments: His praise endureth for ever.
Fear of Being Isolated
Fear of Being Isolated
For this fear, the author writes...
“Adjusting to being single again is a difficult struggle. Finding ways to fit in even at church is often very hard. Sometimes, weary from exercising much effort in this regard, it seems easier to give up and resign ourselves to the situation.”
9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
Just as we discussed last week concerning loneliness, we must alway remember that we are in His presence and can have rich fellowship with Him.
3 That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.
How do we develop such fellowship? As our author noted, we do so in the same we do with others. We spend time with Him in His Word, in prayer, and in service for Him.
4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.
5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
The remedy for loneliness and the fear of being isolated is to love other by reaching out to them and serving them. Doing so will drive away the fear of being alone.
10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: And the knowledge of the holy is understanding.
Fear of Changing Family Dynamics
Fear of Changing Family Dynamics
“Familial fear comes from a concern that the absence of our spouse will detrimentally affect relationships within our extended family.”
There is no doubt that the lose of spouse causes change. However, as noted, these changes do not need to be a negative fact. Our issue is that we often dwell on this fear and allow it become something bigger than it should. Every family has dynamic shifts and changes. Even now, my wife and I are feeling the effects of family dynamics changing. Our boys are in serious relationships with most of them getting married or soon to get married. As they do, mom and dad start move more and more into the background of their lives. Changes such as these and such as you are facing can become negatives in our lives if we allow them to be such.
“But if we truly love and serve our family, this shift in dynamics can be a positive experience as we interact with our family and possess a joyful, loving spirit.”
26 In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence: And his children shall have a place of refuge.
Fear of Living Alone
Fear of Living Alone
This is perhaps the biggest fear of most widows. Just the thought of living alone can sprout a host of other fears. However, as our author points out, we, as believers, have an additional assurance that our life and safety is in God’s hands. Such assurance is twofold. First, as we live in obedience to God, He promises to take care of us and keep us safe. Second, God knows all things and nothing happens without His approval. As our author noted...
“He has determined the number of our days on this earth, and nothing can change that....we can rest assured that whatever does happen is because of God’s love and not because he is punishing us.”
19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
Fear of Running Out of Money
Fear of Running Out of Money
Money is always a concern especially when our economy is not doing well. However, as with all things, we need to lean on the promises of God.
19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
10 For every beast of the forest is mine, And the cattle upon a thousand hills.
11 I know all the fowls of the mountains: And the wild beasts of the field are mine.
12 If I were hungry, I would not tell thee: For the world is mine, and the fulness thereof.
13 Will I eat the flesh of bulls, Or drink the blood of goats?
14 Offer unto God thanksgiving; And pay thy vows unto the most High:
15 And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Fear of Getting Sick & No One to Help
Fear of Getting Sick & No One to Help
“Life is like a theater play in which we are the actors and God is the director. He is behind the scenes directing everything. He is invisible and powerful. Our Father never leaves us, never abandons us, and always does what is best for us.”
27 The fear of the Lord prolongeth days: But the years of the wicked shall be shortened.
From Fear to Faith
From Fear to Faith
“God is our rock of refuge. Run to him with your cares and anxieties and cast them on him. His unwavering love will hold you up.”
4 I sought the Lord, and he heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Discussion Questions
Discussion Questions
From the list of top fears for widows, which has been the biggest challenge since losing your spouse?
Knowing that the fear of the Lord is a positive emotion that we are to embrace how has that change the way your think about fearing the Lord?
What makes fearing the future a useless activity?
Did you find it a struggle being single again and what were some of the ways that you dealt with this issue?
Share with the group some family dynamics that have changed in your family since you lost your spouse.
Do you know of some other verses in Scripture that promises the Lord is with you and need not feel alone? Share them with the group.
Discuss turning your fear into faith and how the promises of God help in overcoming fear.