A Wedding Exhortation

Welcome

Our God loves to make new things.

Tonight, it is our great privilege to witness before our very eyes the formation of a new home through marriage.

I believe it is wise for us, especially in an age of shifting shadows and altering of the institutions of the world we now live, to understand what we are watching tonight and why we are watching it.

I will serve in several roles over the next few moments, and one of them is to help us all meditate on how God defines marriage in His word.

Who Gives This Woman in Marriage?

For Those Gathered

Ephesians 1:11 NASB 2020

11 In Him we also have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things in accordance with the plan of His will,

All of this of course is for the praise of His glory.

It is a wondrous thing to have a relationship with a God who providentially rules and governs everything in the universe.

I believe it is no accident we are here tonight; God has been on the move in the lives of Zackary and Tamera.

Marriage is not something we create, but it is something that God purposes to magnify His grace.

Marriage is a gift from God to man.

It all began in the Garden of Genesis 2.

Just before God created Eve, Scripture says something that may surprise you:

Genesis 2:20 NASB 2020

20 The man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the sky, and to every animal of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.

So God said:

Genesis 2:18 NASB 2020

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

And so that’s exactly what God did.

Genesis 2:21–22 NASB 2020

21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

When God presents Eve to Adam, the first human words are uttered in Scripture:

Genesis 2:23 NASB 2020

23 Then the man said, “At last this is bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called ‘woman,’ Because she was taken out of man.”

These are beautiful words of poetry in praise of the wonderful gift he had been given.

And note the next verse.

It says every marriage after this should be an imitation of this one.

Genesis 2:24 NASB 2020

24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

There are four foundational building blocks of marriage presented here in one verse.

It is an exclusive relationship. A man shall be joined to his wife.

The baseline pattern is simple. One man. One woman. One time.

It is a public relationship. A man shall leave his father and his mother. From here forth, a new family has formed. People will see it as it’s own unit. It is public.

It is a permanent relationship. A man shall be joined to his wife. He cleaves to her. Jesus would later say,

Matthew 19:6 NASB 2020

6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”

It is a united relationship. They shall be come one flesh.

Thomas Adams: God by creation made two of one, so again by marriage He made one of two.

So this is the foundation of your marriage.

It is exclusive, public, and permanent. You now stand together as one.

But there is another aspect of marriage we must not forget.

Your marriage exists to magnify God.

God created it to bring out the truth and worth and beauty and greatness of Himself.

Marriage exists to help people see God for who He is.

He is of infinite importance.

He is more important than your marriage.

If you fail to understand this, everything in your marriage will go wrong.

We exist in marriage to display the truth and the worth and the value, the beauty, the greatness of God.

All of this leads to a very simple conclusion:

We should love God more than we love our wives and we should love God more than we love our husbands.

We should value God more than we value our spouse.

Our passion for God should be greater than our spouse.

And so, Zack & Tam, I urge you today to bring into your marriage a vision of God and who He is and what He is like, and how He acts.

In our world, there is almost no vision of God.

In so many cases, he is simply omitted. And it is at the root of why so many marriages fail.

So I urge you both tonight to place God at the center of each of your lives.

If you move him out of center place, you will have no peace.

May you both come to understand that the key that unlocks a thousand doors in marriage and everywhere else is superior satisfaction in God above all earthly things - including above your spouse.

Satisfaction in God is the source of the kind of long-suffering and self-denial that is required for a husband who wants to live like Christ and a wife who wants to live like the church in relation to Christ.

For Zackary & Tamera

All of this is rooted in Ephesians 5:22-27

Ephesians 5:22–27 NASB 2020

22 Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

What God is calling both of you to is a serious challenge.

For a man to exercise leadership like Christ did … and for a woman to exercise submission like the church should are impossible for fallen, selfish humans to accomplish on their own power.

Which means you both are going to need a higher resource that will help you both die daily to yourselves.

There must be daily dying Zack, in order for you to lead like Christ and serve your wife.

And there must be daily dying Tamera, in order you to submit like the church and follow your husband.

You are both sinners and that makes things very complicated.

For Zack

Your role as Tamera’s husband is very clear.

In your love and leadership of Tamera you are to reflect the love and leadership of Jesus over His church.

This means you are to love her with a love that knows no height, breadth, length, or depth.

It is a love of sacrifice.

You must give yourself every day to see your Tamera grow and increase in the grace and knowledge of God.

Your primary job is to help get her to heaven.

All of this assumes that you are growing as well.

Never let your affection for our Lord run dry.

For the minute you do, your leadership will run on fumes, rather than the full flame of God.

Be diligent to cultivate to a deeper sense of the unsearchable riches of Christ.

God has given you Tamera — as wonderful as she is — not just to satisfy you — He has given her to you to come along side you and help you glorify Him.

God has given her to you to help you find nothing more satisfying than Him.

For Tamera

Tamera, just as the church serves, submits, and dedicates herself to the Lord Jesus, so too are you to give of yourself to follow Zack — where ever God leads.

You are both created in the image of God, and thus stand before Him as equals in Christ — yet your roles are different.

To submit to Zack as the church submits to Christ, means you have a growing inclination to follow his leadership and a delighted disposition to yield to his decisions.

Doing this will glorify God by relating to your husband in the way the church is to relate to Christ.

Your primary job is to help Zack get to heaven.

If you are walking with God, constantly thanking Him for His moment-by-moment grace and continually calling on Him for help - you will find your God-appointed role to be like rich, fertile, pleasant soil and like a beautiful flower of a wife, you will flourish.

For You Both

I want you to expect great things from God and to attempt great things for God.

God is giving you a great thing in this marriage — now use it to do great things for God.

Remember:

great things are never easy things.

When you step away from here as husband and wife, you will enter a spiritual battlefield unlike any other you’ve faced.

Marriage has been designed to reflect God and Satan hates God.

He will launch a full-scale attack to destroy the joy in your marriage so that God will not get the glory He deserves.

But do not fear the roaring lion named Satan — Jesus, the Lion of Judah, has already conquered.

Your marriage is one to be lived as a visible announcement to the world of the victory Jesus provides.

So, before we get to the vows, let me encourage you to pray for and pursue the four things as you attempt great things through this great union of marriage.

Pray for and pursue holiness.

Marriage is meant to make you holy, and holiness is the ultimate happiness.

Zack, what Tamera needs from you more than anything else is your personal holiness.

Tamera, what Zack needs from you more than anything else is your personal holiness.

Strive with the Spirit’s power, for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord and no marriage can find its intended delight.

Pray for and pursue wisdom.

When God set Solomon as king over Israel He appeared one night and said, “Ask what I shall give you.”

Solomon said, “Give me now wisdom . . . for who can govern this people of yours, which is so great?”

We can ask something similar about this covenant relationship.

Who can glorify God in marriage, which is so great?

Those who are wise in Christ.

The treasures of wisdom are hidden in Christ and they come from the respect of God; get those treasures through that respect and reverence.

Pray for and pursue humility.

Pride is Satan’s favorite tactic of assault; slay it with humility.

Each of you, have the mind of Christ, and count the other as better than yourself.

Pray for and pursue joy.

Joy in God is the fountainhead from which joy in each other flows.

Sin and Satan will rapidly want you to be bored with each other and grow cold towards each other.

If you let joy in God be your constant song you will then find your home to a symphony of love for each other and glory for God.

Prayer

Lord, our actions today are in the sight of these assembled witnesses and in your sight as well.

I pray this commitment will be lived out for your glory.

Lord, as these vows are about to be made, may it be obvious to all gathered here that these are not just words, and this is not a mere formality.

This is a commitment.

Lord, we pray these vows will never be broken.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Vows

Zack/Tam Prepared Vows

ZACK: You have written something special for Tamera to share what is in your heart with her. Would you like to read that now?

TAMERA: You have also written something from the heart from Zack. Would you like to read that now?

Prepared Vows

Please repeat after me:

ZACK: Do you take this woman, Tamera Jade Danielle Taylor, whose hand you now hold to be your wedded wife; to love, honor, cherish, protect, and keep her so long as you both shall live?

TAMERA: do you take this man, Zackary Samuel Allen, whose hand you now hold, to be your wedded husband; to love, honor, and comfort him so long as you both shall live?

Rings

The giving and receiving of rings will further seal these vows.

Zack: place the ring on your bride’s finger and repeat after me:

With this ring I take you Tamera

To be my wedded wife

To have and to hold from this day forward

For richer or poorer

In sickness and in health

To love and to cherish

Till death do us part.

Tamera: place the ring on Zack’s finger and repeat after me:

With this ring, I take you Zack

To be my wedded husband

To have and to hold from this day forward

For richer or poorer

In sickness and in health

To love and to cherish

Till death do us part.

Unity Ceremony

Zackary and Tamera will now perform the Cord of Three Strands Ceremony, a ritual to symbolize the joining of man, woman, and God in lasting marriage.

Why three strands? As Ecclesiastes tells us, two are stronger than one, and stronger still with Christ’s love:

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 NASB 2020

9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; 10 for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up! 11 Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

Couple Begins to Braid

Zack & Tam, you’ve made your vows and promises to each other.

As you bind these strands, remember to lift each other up, support each other, and keep God at the center of your marriage.

Let His Love be the example that unites you each day, as you learn to be good and true with each other.

Ephesians Chapter 4 asks of us:

Ephesians 4:1–3 CSB

1 Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

This braid symbolizes that bond.

Your love is stronger when you love God first.

Keep this cord in your home to remind you of the foundation God brings to your lives, first as individuals, and now united as husband and wife.

Prayer

Pronouncement

As a minister of the gospel and by the power invested in me by the state of OHIO

Before God and these witnesses, I pronounce you husband and wife.

INTRODUCTION: - Mr. and Mrs. Zackary Allen