Pursuing and Preserving Reconciliation

Review of Principals for Pursuing Reconciliation

Seek to please God.

Be humble

Be honest

Be repentant

Be loving

A picture of reconciliation

Genesis 33:4 ESV

But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.

Pursuing & Preserving Reconciliation

Remember the reconciling work of Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:18 ESV

All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation;

2. Agree to “healthy tension”

Proverbs 27:17 ESV

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

3. Commit to God-honoring communication

James 1:19–20 ESV

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Question #1:  Those involved

Who is/was directly involved in the conflict?Who is/was indirectly involved in the conflict?Who did you tell about the conflict?

Question #2: Perspective:

What happened from your perspective?What are the facts?What are the emotional memories?

Question #3: Motives:

What things are important to you in this situation?What desires were driving you?

Question #4:  Fears:

What is at stake?What might you lose if you don't get your way?What is causing you to be anxious?What is frustrating you?

Question #5: Filters/ Past Wounds:

What past hurts are you looking through?What previous experiences are you filtering this conflict through?What beliefs about being "right" are filtering your perspective?

Question #6: Hopes:

What are your desired outcomes? What do you hope to accomplish?

Question #7: Other's Perspective:

How do I think the others would tell this story?If you put yourself in the other(s) person shoes, how would they describe the conflict?