What Are You Talking About?

Intro

I was told a long time ago that it takes about 7 compliments to outweigh the effect of a single insult or harsh word. I’ve known people who have felt like they hear so much negative input it would be hard for them to think of the last compliment they recieved. Even more people live in a dialogue with themselves that overwhelmingly produces negative self-talk. This in turn will produce negative views of self.

Have you ever recieved a compliment that changed your entire mood for the day, or even longer? What was one you can think of?

Have you ever recieved an insult that still lives with you today?

How do you talk about yourself? Is it more positive or negative?

Now, I also know a handful of people that absorb information about other people a certain way. They will hear something about someone, and they don’t separate what they’ve heard from their own experiences. So, when they hear something negative about someone, they will think and feel negatively about them. Same goes for when they hear something positive about them.

Has someone else’s review of someone ever affected your own feelings about them?

James 3:1–11 CSB

Not many should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we will receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is mature, able also to control the whole body. Now if we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we direct their whole bodies. And consider ships: Though very large and driven by fierce winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how a small fire sets ablaze a large forest. And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among our members. It stains the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. Every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and fish is tamed and has been tamed by humankind, but no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in God’s likeness. Blessing and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way. Does a spring pour out sweet and bitter water from the same opening?

This is a longer section of text, but it is important to look at it as a whole unit. You see, the Spirit of God was revealing to people long before modern psychology what was the power of the tongue.

Just as a little rudder drives the ship, and just as a small spark burns a forest, so too does your tongue affect you. Did you know that?

Your words have a huge impact on your lifestyle and the way you think. It has been psychologically proven that when you hear something enough times, you begin to believe it even if you knew it was a lie to begin with!

This is why when we hear or tell ourselves negative things, or hear enough negativity about others, our perspectives change according to what we hear or say. Words matter!

How else do you think that the tongue will affect the whole life?

“course of life” in the Greek is literally “wheel of life” and it basically, to my understanding, comes down to meaning the entire direction of your life.

That is how much power your words have.

James also says that the tongue is untamable by men. Does that mean there is nothing to be done about it?

He almost immediately follows that statement off by saying that it is sinful to use the tongue both for praising God and cursing His image bearers. We bear responsibility for the words we speak, and we should not see James telling us the impossibility of taming the tongue as if we could not care for it. A defeatist attitude toward this, or any other for of sin, is unacceptable. We must dedicate our tongues to the purpose of blessing, praising, and uplifting. Speaking good things! And, for the weakness each of us possesses in the realm of speech, we must confess it to God and submit it to His sovereignty. He can take care of it!

Jesus says “out of the heart the mouth speaks,” so does it not prove something about our own hearts when we go around speaking ill and defaming others (especially Christians) yet turn around lift praise later on? Does that not betray a certain double-mindedness within a person?

If that exemplifies you this morning, it is time to repent and dedicate the tongue goodness. Paul told the Colossians to keep their speech seasoned with grace and salt so they would know how to answer everyone. If your words are flavored with vinegar, you’ll get a response which is in kind to that.

James goes on to be more specific about what his readers were doing: James 4:11-12

James 4:11–12 CSB

Don’t criticize one another, brothers and sisters. Anyone who defames or judges a fellow believer defames and judges the law. If you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

James teaches on the tongue at least one other time in his Epistle here. He understood that words carry weight.

Do you understand the weight of your words?

What kinds of evil can be done by the tongue?

Gossiping, slandering, defaming, liable, insults, crudeness, lying, flattery

What kinds of good can be done by the tongue?

Encouraging, praising, truth telling, preaching, learning, conflict resolution, affirmations, adoration, prayer

Inventory

I know it’s probably a little weird to hear this, but insulting yourself and degrading yourself is just as sinful as if you were doing it to me or your best friend.

I don’t know where all of your speech related sins and temptations are found, but I know my own. You know your own. From now on, now that we see this from James, let’s be doers of the word and not just hearers.

Commit this morning to dedicate your tongue to good things, both to yourself and to others, and submit the difficulties and struggles you have to the Lord. Repent of them when you need, confess them, and continue to submit yourself to Him. He has the power of your tongue to tame it, and we grow in the Lord our speech will reflect our relationship with Him just as much as our actions.