The Parable of the Forgiven Friend

Matthew 18:21–35 (NLT)

21Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

22“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!

23“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him.

24In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.

25He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

26“But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’

27Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

28“But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

29“His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded.

30But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

31“When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened.

32Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me.

33Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’

34Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

35“That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

Introduction:

Imagine standing at the edge of a vast ocean, holding a tiny pebble. You toss the pebble into the water, watching as it creates ripples that travel far beyond where it disappeared beneath the waves. This small action, seemingly insignificant, has effects that stretch out far and wide.

This relates to forgiveness in our lives - a single act can have far-reaching consequences not just for us, but for all those around us.

In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus shares a profound parable that delves deep into the heart of forgiveness, challenging us to reconsider our own capacity to forgive and to be forgiven.

Overview

In this passage, Peter comes to Jesus, asking how many times he should forgive someone who sins against him, suggesting the number seven as a possibility.

Jesus responds with the parable of the unforgiving servant, indicating that forgiveness should not be limited but abundant.

In the parable, a king forgives an enormous debt of one of his servants. However, this same servant refuses to forgive a minor debt owed to him by another servant, leading to his punishment by the king when his lack of mercy is revealed.

Through this story, Jesus illustrates the unlimited nature of God's forgiveness towards us and the expectation that we, in turn, should forgive others.

If you are struggling with unforgiveness toward someone this message is going to be uncomfortable. This message is going to be heart wrenching. This message is for you.

WHEN I STUDY THIS VERSE I SEE THAT>>>

Forgiveness is Not Optional; It's Essential

v35 - “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

<<WE say, “It’s hard to forgive. You don’t know what that person had done to me.”>>

I say, “Who are we to say we CANNOT forgive someone their wrongs. no matter how grave they are.

In our minds forgiveness means that we act, toward the other person, as though their trespass never happened.”

I say,

“Forgiveness is remembering what they did but not holding it against them.”

The bible uses a word “TRESPASS”. It means to cross the line or boundary.

Has someone crossed the boundary with you and caused an offense?

When someone offends you or hurts you they trespass against you.

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

God wants us to know >>

What happens when we DO NOT forgive?

You carry the burden of the past with you in the present.

You allow the weight of your pain hold you back from your future.

You develop a stronghold of distrust to anyone who does not pass your trust tests.

TRUST TEST>>>

Has anyone ever betrayed you?

Has anyone ever lied about you?

Has anyone ever stolen anything from you?

Has anyone ever told you they loved you and then walked out on you?

Have you ever lost friends that once followed you but once things went south they turned away?

>>This is what happened to JESUS<<

Forgiveness is a command, not a suggestion.

Consider a family where siblings are encouraged to say sorry and make up after a fight.

This practice isn't just about maintaining peace; it's about instilling a culture of forgiveness.

We think of forgiveness as something to be earned.

When you treat God’s commands like suggestions you approach God’s freedom as a choice. “You choose to walk in bondage when the option of freedom is in your hand.”

Forgiveness is a choice. UNFORGIVENESS is a stronghold.

Holding onto unforgiveness harms us more than the offender.

Not forgiving someone else is like drinking Rat Poison and expecting the other person to die.

We remain bound to the person we won’t forgive.

We develop issues that hold us back from having meaningful fruitful relationships.

A majority of people stop connecting with people in church (small groups, discipleship, mentorship, etc) because of offenses in their past.

Forgiveness Reflects God's Mercy Towards Us

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13

Our capacity to forgive is rooted in acknowledging our own forgiveness.

A debtor who is forgiven a large sum by a generous benefactor feels compelled to show the same generosity to others in debt.

Mercy received should translate into mercy given.

Luke 6:36–37 “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Ephesians 5:1–2 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.”

When we forgive one another we are imitating the heavenly Father.

Walk in love - How? By giving up yourself for others.

What does it mean to give yourself up? >>NOT CONSIDERING YOUR OWN INTERESTS.

There are consequences to unforgiveness.

Matthew 6:15 - "But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

The Bible addresses unforgiveness in various contexts, highlighting its spiritual, relational, and personal consequences. Here are five consequences of unforgiveness according to the Bible:

1. Hindered Relationship with God:

Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”

The Bible teaches that forgiveness from God is linked to our willingness to forgive others.

This indicates that unforgiveness can affect one's relationship with God and hinder the experience of God's forgiveness.

2. Spiritual Stagnation:

Hebrews 12:15 “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;”

3. Emotional and Mental Turmoil:

Matthew 18:34–35 “And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.””

4. Obstructed Prayers:

Mark 11:25 “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.”

5. **Damage to Relationships**:

Ephesians 4:31–32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

This contrast shows how unforgiveness can erode relationships, while forgiveness can restore and heal them.

Conclusion: