IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR

Are we a bunch of families, or are we one family in God's household?

HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE

Look at headlines today or for the last 50 years, and you know that the family is under attack. Read the Bible, and you would know that it started in the Garden of Eden. You will also see that the Household of God has been under siege for thousands of years.

You may be aware of several Christian family organizations out there — Focus on the Family, American Family Association, Promise Keepers, Family Research Council.

Even if you’ve ever used them as a resource or got involved, that’s fine, but they are not your local church. At most, they are there to help with life of American families and maintain our constitutional rights.

Imagine if Christian families were busy fulfilling God’s purposes for His Church (the Household of God, the Bride of Christ). How much help would we need from such organizations?

Can’t Christian families manage by being biblical alone? Can’t local churches function on their own?

What about all the different denominations? How did they come to be?

What are OUR family values here at FAC; how about our Alliance family?

PERSONAL HISTORY

I have lived in many different parts of the country and have experienced many different churches in my life.

Many have been churches that were one or more generations old. The reception by different members has been from cold to warm, never hot.

This means a lot to me, not in taking personal offense, but because I was once part of a church startup in Morgantown in the late 80’s to early 90’s.

That was my most definitive and formative church experience.

I worked hard, endured personal conflicts, was discipled with hard knocks. No matter what we did, it seemed that we were underdogs for the longest time, at least compared to similar churches around the country. No matter what I did, it seemed in my own eyes that I was never recognized or properly respected.

Nearly 30 years ago, I felt like a washout. My new family and I moved away and had difficulty finding a church home. Meanwhile, that church I helped to start became probably the biggest megachurch in WV, and it continues to plant more churches.

Regardless, I have no regrets about leaving (and missing out on being a part of that megachurch), and I’m confident of the path that God led me to experience.

Along the way, I had met families who were also once part of church plants, and I noticed similar burnout. I’ve also related with folks who kept busy with church activities and felt underappreciated or resentful of those not so busy at they.

For years, I lived with the fact that my poor attitude and lack of personal devotional life was poisoning the well in that one church. It’s good that I did not stay and possibly become a conceited establishment founding member.

TROUBLE SIGNS

On reflection, it seems like it was necessary for my family and to endure my difficult journey to bring us here, now.

Yes, there are single adults involved in each church, but we all know .

Imagine the pressures on a “preacher’s kid” (or and elder, or a deacon). One might feel entitled and having certain power, or another might be a humble servant after his dad. I was a deacons kid in my early years, but I also know what my home life was like.

If a person is looking for a church home, though, would they rather meet hostility or indifference? Seeker friendly or Christ-centered? Social club or the elect?

Have any of you met with anything but love from a church congregation?

Rather than point fingers, I have to ask myself, how I would treat strangers or family members if I was in the establishment.

How did I myself regard visitors or fellow members when I was part of them?

Let’s turn to the Word of God...

Striving in the House

James 4:1-11 (NKJV)

1 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust {or covet} and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4 Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?

6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud,

But gives grace to the humble.”

7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

11 Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?

You might say that you don’t fight among yourselves, but what about indifference? Doing nothing for a visitor or fellow member?

James 4:17 “Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.” (NASB)

James 3:13–18 (NASB)

“Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

Keep in mind, these are strong words written to the church, not to unbelieving heathen!

SOME OBVIOUSLY EXTREME EXAMPLES FROM IMPORTANT OT FAMILIES:

The first murder was a jealous, ungodly brother against his godly brother. The first brothers ever!

Another attempted murder was 10 jealous, ungodly brothers against their godly half-brother. Sons of Israel, the Prince!

One son of the King of Israel murdered his half-brother.

THOUGHTS FROM THE NT :

Are you proud to acknowledge a fellow church member in a setting outside of a church service? Are you proud to acknowledge Jesus Christ as Lord publicly or among co-workers or classmates? How about your sport or hobby groups, your buddies? Mark 8:38

Is it in your nature to help fellow church members in need? It’s not in my old nature, but it is in my new nature in Christ. If you don’t have this characteristic, then there is a problem in your faith. 1 John 2:9-11

1 John 2:9–11 NASB95

The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in the darkness until now. The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

Jesus said that your hatred for someone is the same as murdering them. As in being angry or envious, ignoring them or wishing them away.

Matthew 5:21-24 (NKJV)

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Don’t even presume to do any service in the church if you have not dealt with conflicts!

Feuds have no place in church families — this includes feuds between natural families.

Ever play ball in a church league? Who ever thought that was a good idea?!

Unrepented sin and interpersonal conflict drags down all of us.

Blessed be the Ties

James 2:2-13 (NKJV)

Beware of Personal Favoritism

2 My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality. 2 For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, 3 and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, “You sit here in a good place,” and say to the poor man, “You stand there,” or, “Sit here at my footstool,” 4 have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?

5 Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him? 6 But you have dishonored the poor man. Do not the rich oppress you and drag you into the courts? 7 Do they not blaspheme that noble name by which you are called?

8 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well; 9 but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. 10 For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all. 11 For He who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” Now if you do not commit adultery, but you do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. 12 So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty. 13 For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

So, an outsider comes to visit your Sunday service. If you as a member even do anything to greet him, is it with honor or dishonor? kindness, coldness, or contempt?

How do you welcome new members, if at all? Do you pick and choose where you practice hospitality or family love?

Let’s say that a family or a subgroup has been a part of a church for XX generations. They founded it, or they have run it forever.

Is any ONE family or subgroup all that great? Is faith something that’s inherited, like genetics or wealth?

1 John 1:7,1 John 1:8 “If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.”

1 John 2:9–14 “The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in the darkness until now. The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes. I am writing to you, little children, because your sins have been forgiven you for His name’s sake. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I have written to you, children, because you know the Father. I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning. I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one.”

SOME OT EXAMPLES FAMILIES IN CHARGE:

Moses, Aaron, and Miriam — golden calves and leprosy.

Eli, Hophni, and Phinehas — abusive corrupt priests

Samuel and his sons — nepotism and corruption, but Samuel was a good judge and prophet

David and Absalom — a priestly king who couldn’t rule his household and almost lost the kingdom

Jeremiah and his dad Hilkiah — God had a greater calling for Jeremiah than his family priesthood! A priesthood that seemed to fear the godless king of Judah rather than the LORD

ISRAEL COMPARED TO OTHER PEOPLE

Matthew 15:21-28. Outsider (the Canaanite woman with a sick daughter) had more faith than God's chosen people!

There are the Pharisees throughout the Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles.

A NT FAMILY ATTACHED TO THE MESSIAH

When Mary and her sons went to speak with Jesus as He was publically ministering, what did He say?

Who are my mother and brothers? The ones who hear the word of God and do it are my mother and brothers. Luke 8:19-21

Some might interpret that as denunciation or that His family was not faithful somehow.

Yet, we have two books written by Jesus’ half-brothers!

James, a bond-servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ

Jude, a bond-servant of Jesus Christ, and brother of James.

How did they come to that point?! It certainly wasn’t before He was crucified and resurrected.

Jesus and John the Baptist had what we might think is a cordial, respectful relationship, even though they were first cousins.

John jumped for joy in the womb when his mom met Jesus’ mom.

John even had to question Jesus’ messiahship when in prison.

Jesus did nothing to prevent John’s imprisonment, nor did He deliver John from execution.

Don’t our worldly eyes see that as family disloyalty?

Yet Jesus pays John the ultimate tribute in Matthew 11:7-14!

New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update Chapter 11

“Truly I say to you, among those born of women there has not arisen anyone greater than John the Baptist! Yet the one who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.

Break the Ties!

Jesus said that he came to bring a sword against families, to divide.

Luke 12:51-53; 14:26

Does Jesus contradict Himself in Matthew 15:3-9?

For sure, we are not to put our families above the Lord Jesus!

Be warned! Do not take it for granted that your family members are saved just because you brought them up in church. The only blood that is thicker than water, and that means anything, was spilled at the Cross of Calvary.

Unless a person is washed in the blood of Jesus, a baptism is nothing more than getting dunked in cold-to-room-temperature water.

A Word Traditional Church Revival Services and Retreats.

I grew up Baptist and revival services were an annual event, but was there revival? I tell you that repentance is needed before you talk revival.

I’ve been to numerous men’s retreats, including Promise Keepers. What did retreating from the real world accomplish? How are Christian family men doing as a whole?

Repentance is not just for the lost.

...A Family that Stays Together

Hebrews 10:23–25 “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” (NASB)

Hopefully, each family is operating well and is healthy. Elders are supposed to keep their households in order, not just to look holier than thou, but because the Church needs to be operating well and healthy.

The Father gives us His authority through Jesus, and the Holy Spirit empowers us. As Pastor Nathan has reminded us, each of us is called to be a minister. However, we need to do so under His structure for the Church.

1 Corinthians 14:33 “for God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.”

1 Corinthians 14:40 “But all things must be done properly and in an orderly manner.”

A Family Should Be Growing, Thriving

Matthew 28:18–20 “And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”” (NASB)

Acts 1:8 “but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.”” (NASB)

Where is your Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria? Shouldn’t it be Flushing, Belmont County, and surrounding counties? Our schools and workplaces?

Acts 2:42–47 “They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.”

We need to be good examples to each other. Hebrews 13:7

We are the body of Christ and members of each other. Jesus has given each of us gifts and talents that are meant to be used in service to Him and each other. Don’t hold out! Romans 12:3-20; 1 Corinthians 12:27-31

Do you take out the trash when Mom or Dad tell you? Do you have to be told to clean up your room?

Do you have doubts or even care that God gave you membership to His church to do a job?

2 Corinthians 4:5 “For we do not preach ourselves but Christ Jesus as Lord, and ourselves as your bond-servants for Jesus’ sake.”

Paul wasn’t just speaking for the Apostles or his fellow leaders.

Are you hospitable to your houseguests? 1 Corinthians 11:17-22; Hebrews 13:1-2

You are a Holy People!

1 Peter 2:5 “you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”

1 Peter 2:9–12 “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.”

Who are the Gentiles to us, since we aren’t Jewish? It should be obvious that it’s the non-believers.

BE WARNED

Churches have needed to be admonished and corrected since the earliest times.

The Apostle Paul wrote letters to seven churches (they should be required reading for all of us churches today):

Rome: Growing in the heart of a corrupt, heathen empire

Corinth: Showing how NOT to be in the world and part of it

Galatia: Legalism is not godliness

Ephesus: This is spiritual war!

Philippi: Be humble and give your troubles to Jesus

Colossi: Keep being and encouragement and keep Christ at the center

Thessaloniki: Give thanks and rejoice! Be ready for Christ’s return!

The Risen Lord Jesus wrote letters to seven churches:

Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira,Sardis, Philadelphia, and Laodicea

To Ephesus:

Revelation 2:2–5 “‘I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary. ‘But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. ‘Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place—unless you repent.”

To Laodicea:

Revelation 3:15–20 “‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. ‘So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. ‘Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. ‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent. ‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.”

Why did Jesus use the last book of the Bible (the Apocalypse) to state these admonitions to His Church?

We saw in the OT wilderness years that God dealt very harshly with His people. He even killed many through earthquakes, snakes, and hostile neighbors.

Thank God for His grace to us (the Church) through His Son, Jesus!

Even so, don’t treat His patience and grace as permission to disobey.

An End Times People

CLOSING

This was a very difficult topic to cover and relate this morning, yet we see how fiercely God protects and disciplines His own family. There is so much more to be learned about this by just looking at His relationship with His adulterous wife, Israel.

There should be no difference between spiritual family and biological family.

As long as we live in these bodies that God has given us, we are to be living like we are part of Christ’s body. Broken and holy at the same time.

These are clearly the end times.

In what condition is Jesus going to find His Church when He comes to take her into His Father’s house?

Galatians 6:9-10 “So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.”