HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY HOME- WIVES (EPHESIANS 5:22-24)

INTRODUCTION

I have decided that I would refrain from putting anything in today’s message that is offensive or difficult to hear. Therefore, in conclusion. No, I am not going to shy away from what the text has to say about this one misunderstood and often misapplied word-submission. This book is the perfect Word of God. Therefore, we do not need to ignore it or fear it. Many people claim to believe what the Bible says in theory. However, not everyone is willing to believe it to the point of actually doing it.

We serve the sovereign God of the universe who happens to also be the loving sovereign God of the universe. Therefore, we have no right to try to do theological gymnastics in order to force Scripture to say what we want it to say. We should never be guilty of trying to change the Bible. What does this church truly believe about the Bible? Do we truly believe this to be God’s inspired and perfect Word? Let us embrace the text before us as we stand in honor of God’s Word given to us by God. [read text]

One of the reasons there has been so much recoil against this text is because it has been abused over the years to fulfill some sort of agenda. I am reminded of the married couple who played the “Silent Treatment” game for five straight days in a row. At the end of day five, the husband was scheduled to go out of town. So he wrote his wife a note which stated, “I have to leave town early in the morning. I want you to wake me up at five o’clock in the morning. The next morning five o’clock came. Then six o’clock came. Then seven o’clock came. Then came eight o’clock and then nine o’clock. As the husband sits up in bed, the sunlight is breaking through the windows. At this point he realizes he has missed his flight. He is so angry that he is ready to verbally lay into his wife. Before he forms the words, he glances over to the nightstand and observes a note. He reads the note. It reads, “It’s five o’clock. Wake up!

With that as our introduction, I want us to observe four aspects of biblical submission.

ASPECT #1: SUBMISSION IS PARTICULAR (5:22A)

Let me be clear. Submission is not a negative word. Submission is not inequality. Submission is part of the difference in functions between a man and a woman. Further, submission is not oppression nor is submission slavery. Submission is a role of dignity. The role of a wife is an elevated role.

Wives are to submit to their own husbands. It does not say that wives are to submit to every man who is a husband. The word submission is a military term. It is in the middle voice and it means, “to place oneself under.” It was the respect a junior officer gave to a senior officer. The truth is that women do not owe their freedom to some liberal feminist. Ladies, you owe your freedoms to the Lord Jesus Christ. It was Jesus who gave honor and dignity to women in an era when women were basically nonexistent.

In the Greco-Roman world of the day, the public role of women did not exist. Women were excluded from Roman citizenship. They were placed on the same level as a slave, a child, and of a criminal. In early Roman law, men had the right to sell their wives into slavery if they so chose. They could also choose to have them executed if they chose. Women were not included in the census and they didn’t even bear their own names. They took the feminized form of their father’s name. Thus, if a woman’s father’s name was Julius, the daughter would take the name Julia.

Not let’s contrast that culture with the Jewish culture of the same time period. Theoretically, no culture had a higher ideal of marriage than Judaism. Even though they had a high ideal of marriage, they also seemed to have a low ideal of women. A morning Jewish prayer that Jewish men often prayed was, “Thank You God that You made me not a Gentile, a slave, or a woman.”

That was the culture. In the process of God’s sovereign time, Jesus enters that culture. Scripture reveals that women played a huge role in Jesus’ life on earth. The gospel of Luke states that many women followed Him. By the way, none of those women had any problem submitting to Jesus as Lord. Women were treated with great grace by Jesus (example: the woman caught in adultery). Further, women were the last to leave the cross and the first to be at the tomb. They were also the first to proclaim the resurrection of Christ. With all of this as a backdrop, the apostle Paul, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, calls on women to voluntarily submit themselves to their own husbands. Submission is particular.

ASPECT #2: SUBMISSION IS PRAGMATIC (5:22B)

Submission is a practical issue. Wives are to submit to their own husbands. Men and women are equal before God. However, the functions of men and women. differ. Men are to function as men and women are to function as women. Submission is practical because we all do it. We all must submit to someone/something. While on earth, even the Lord Jesus was submissive. First, Jesus submitted to His earthly parents (Luke 2:51). Even though He was God, Jesus submitted to His earthly parents. He respected their parental role enough enough to submit to them. Jesus also submitted Himself to the Father (John 8:29). Jesus even submitted Himself to other people (Mark 10:45). That is the ultimate submission. Submission is simply part of this life. The Bible even declares that Christians are to submit to the leadership of the church (Hebrews 13:7

Hebrews 13:7 CSB

Remember your leaders who have spoken God’s word to you. As you carefully observe the outcome of their lives, imitate their faith.

The point is that all of us are called to submit (5:21). We will never fulfill the will and call of God without the attitude of submission. Speaking of men, consider this. The term “hupotasso” speaks of a willing and voluntary commitment to submit to the biblical authority given to the husband in the home. However, the Bible does not call women to obey her husband. Paul will use the word “obey” (hupokuo) in the context of children in the next chapter. However, that is not the word that is used concerning wives in this text. The point: Husbands, do not try to treat your wives like children. Your wives are partners with you in the grace of life and living.

Key Verse: 1 Corinthians 11:3 “But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.”

Submission is pragmatic.

ASPECT #3: SUBMISSION IS PURPOSEFUL (5:23)

Ladies, this is a verse of blessing for you. What we have here is an illustration of how husbands are to lead. When husbands lead their homes in the attitude of Christ, submission is not a hard word to here. However, husbands who lead their wives in a domineering and self-serving way, hide what Jesus has done for the church. Further, wives who fail to yield to their husband’s leadership eclipse how the church should respond to Jesus Christ.

Since we are talking about submission being purposeful, it would be a good idea to understand what the purposes of submission are. There are two main purposes of biblical submission.

Reason #1: Submission Enables Leadership

If not one submits, no one can lead. One of the reasons some men aren’t good leaders is because their wives aren’t good followers. Here is how I have had the problem presented to me repeatedly by wives. “Pastor, if my husband would just do what I wanted him to do, he would be a great leader.” That statement reveals more about the rebellious condition of that woman’s heart than anything else they might say.

Here is my question to you today, ladies. Do you want to bless your home or do you want to destroy your home? True, you probably do not have the best husband. However, are you willing to bring out the best of the husband you have? We all must remember that we are all fallen people and the only redeeming quality we have is what Jesus has done for us and is wanting to make of us.

Reason #2: Submission Points to the Lord Jesus

Ephesians 5:31–32 CSB

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Paul here is quoting Genesis 2:24 “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.” What is revealed here is the biblical truth that marriage is modeled after redemption. However, what is also revealed is that marriage also points to redemption. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross is a model for husbands. The church’s submission is a model for wives. Submission is purposeful.

ASPECT #4: SUBMISSION IS PROVISIONAL (5:24)

What I mean when I say that submission is provisional is that it has parameters built around it. If you will observe the end of this verse and notice the last two words, “in everything,” you will think that the pastor has lost his mind. What is the “in everything mean?” Remember, behind every text is the context. Behind every context is a principle, precept or biblical prescription. Again, behind these is the very heart and character of God. Many people stop short of seeing the heart of the God of Scripture in Scripture.

Ephesians 5:21 “submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.” The Scripture says we are to submit to one another. How? In the fear of the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord,” Wives are to submit themselves to their own husbands. How? As to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:24 “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.” Wives are to be subject to their husbands. How? In the same attitude as the church is to be subject to Christ.

Colossians 3:18 (CSB)

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

So, what does it mean that wives are to submit to their husbands “in everything?” It does not mean what many have tried to make in mean. What it means that the “in everything” is to be taken as everything that is consistent only with the very character of the Lord Jesus Christ. Nothing that is contrary to the character of the Lord Jesus Christ is included in the “in everything.

The final and absolute authority in a marriage is not the husband. It is the Lord Jesus Christ. Thus, a husband who is abusive in his leadership in the home is being abusive to Christ. Similarly, a wife who refuses to submit to her husband’s leadership in the home is refusing to submit to the leadership of Christ.