1 Corinthians 7: The Perks of Singleness
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Intro:
The Challenges of Singleness
Loneliness
You have to work harder to create and maintain friendships (?)...
You don’t have an immediate helper, companion, lover at your side
temptation to sexual immorality 7:2; 1 Cor 7:5...
Our culture which looks down on it, sees it as a deficient human experience
40 yr old virgin and 40 days and 40 nights movies… making laughable virgin at 40 yrs AND speaking of the key “fast” # number in Scripture as impossible for a man abstaining from sex…
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3 Categories of Singles at our meeting
Divorced
Never married
Widowed
Russ and Macy; Russ widower remarried;
Some like older Jim, probably no desire for marriage? He is SSA…
Some desiring relationships?…
Some like Migdalia—wanting reconciliation if possible with Erhardt, ex-husband…
Perks of Singleness
Marriage is HARD Matt 19 “It is better not to marry”
“Better Not to Marry” is a TRUE saying, to those to whom it is given
what about those who say, “I have NOT been given this gift?”
Difficulty of giving conjugal rights…
Allberry “Harder to be in unhappy marriage than to be in unhappy single state”!
Exegesis/Thoughts
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Isn’t it interesting that Paul advises sexual abstinence (temporarily) in marriage for the sake of DEVOTION to prayer…
if there is a particular burden or grief, making it impossible to come together, TURN that into an opportunity for prayer and fasting!
In marriage where spouses are depriving each other, SATAN has an inroad to TEMPT b/c of the lack of self-control in the saints… its DANGEROUS to withhold sex from your spouse.
In Marriage, another human being has AUTHORITY over your body.
Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
the wise and godly apostle Paul, the most fruitful disciple the Church has ever produced, WISHED that ALL might be as he was, as a single/celibate.
Why was this Paul’s desire?
Why did the great, Spirit-inspired Paul, WISH all to be single as HE and as JESUS were?
The GIFT of singleness, isn’t a special super-power God endows to an elect few capable of tolerating the challenges of singleness. (there are certain people that seem to fit in this category; the asexual etc.)
Rather, any season of singleness, wanted or unwanted, is a gift from God; a gift for that person’s good and well-being, their holiness and flourishing, ordained and GIVEN from the hand of a gracious Father who knows them better than they know themselves.
Does singleness require a special gift/calling?
vv.6-7
There may be people divorced who ought NOT be remarried — wrongly divorced. It would be SIN for them to remarry.
People never married, who are content in singleness.
People never married, who desire marriage
People divorced (wrongly and rightly) or never married, who burn with passion and desire marriage
what about them? what about the divorced wrongly who burn with passion?
They fit in the category of saints with SSA — they crucify their desires for the sake of honoring Christ… BELIEVING God will give them grace and strength to overcome their illicit sexual desires…
for the other two categories: MARRIAGE is a great option: in the LORD…
think of Robert and Candy. Tom and Beth Blade. Fred and Cindy? Segoviano…
People divorced, who SHOULD BE RECONCILED to their ex-spouse!!
they should SEEK this!!!
People who are SINFULLY single… they were running away from an unhappy marriage, but without biblical grounds to divorce. Such as, their husband wasn’t a spiritual leader… or a believer.
What about perpetual withholding sexual intimacy?…
Is that grounds for divorce?
Under the abandonment exception category? Not giving her her conjugal rights...
People divorced and BITTER about marriage… calloused…
they want to casually date perhaps, but with no vision for actually getting married
People divorced/single and living with a partner!!
People divorced/single for other reasons who are looking to a partner to satisfy their loneliness and need for companionship. RATHER than the Church!!!
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
It is GOOD to remain SINGLE!!!
SINGLENESS is GOOD! BEAUTIFUL! SUFFICIENT!
NOT lacking. NOT deficient. NOT shameful.
If you are divorced and have repented of any of your own sin that brought about your divorce,
v. 11 says you should 1) remain unmarried 2) if reconciliation with your spouse is possible, SEEK it!
Perhaps there are some here who are now divorced, whom in God’s eyes are STILL married—still one flesh with your ex—that HE will restore to the covenant of marriage and the gift that it is!
I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is.
God AGAIN through Paul says it is GOOD for a person to remain SINGLE.
in view of the present distress…
is that relevant to our context?
1 Cor 7:28 Those who marry will have worldly troubles
But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
Paul wants to SPARE us troubles.
He is trying to SPARE singles the TROUBLE of marriage. The HARDSHIP of marriage. The DIFFICULTIES of marriage, especially for those who are not given this gift.
There are some who perhaps desire marriage, feel called to be married, and Paul is telling them that their singleness now is a GOOD thing!
Paul wants to SPARE us troubles. s from the mercy of the Lord and Holy Spirit counsels that singleness is GOOD.
32-35 KEY passage “I want you to be free from anxieties.
Being unmarried man: anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord
Being unmarried woman: anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit
Paul’s goal: BENEFIT the Corinthians, promote good order, to secure UNDIVIDED devotion to the Lord
Perks of Single Saints
Freedom from worldly anxieties v.28 “worldly troubles” v.32 “anxieties…anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.”
Family life anxieties
Keeping a spouse happy
Keeping a household provided for
Keeping children safe
Dealing with unique family afflictions: childlessness, unexpected accidents/tragedies leading to severe disability, radically changing the life you may have anticipated for yourself
Free from pressure to provide for a whole family
the financial demands of a wife and kids is GREAT!
Free from demands of a spouse: physically, emotionally, spiritually
How and when are your interests divided in marriage?
B/w MINISTRY and marriage: b/w EVANGELISM and marriage…
My desire to host more neighbors and show them the hospitality and grace of Jesus, but Emily is unwilling
My desire to do more evangelistic endeavors, witness to Muslims etc. but I need to be with my wife!
My desire to PRAY longer hours, but I need to be with my wife, clean the house, do chores, take Em on dates…
My desire to be part of more church outings, social events, services, but I have family responsibilities.
Keeping Emily happy; CONFLICTS and exhaustion and ANXIETY pertaining to $$$ conflicts and disagreements…
the TIME consumed needing to GUARD our bank/checking account and CC b/c of Em’s spending….
Making sure I’m hope at a reasonable time to serve her, comfort her, be with her, take care of her when she’s unwell
Freedom FOR the things of the Lord
Personal holiness: “holiness of body and spirit”
Ministry pursuits
Undivided devotion to Jesus
Great Singles examples: Jesus, Paul the apostle, Amy Carmichael, Corrie Ten Boom, Gladys Aylward, Lilias Trotter, John Stott, Sam Allberry, to name a few…
Saintly Singles: How to Be Holy Not Hellish
The LEG up you all have to your married brothers and sisters in BEING saints, increasingly more and more SAINTLY!
Do you realize the PRIVILEGE you have in this season of singleness?
The GIFT of the FREEDOM you have to serve your Christ? To pursue holiness in body and spirit!!!
You are not held back by the demands of marriage: needing to be present with a spouse, needing to provide for a spouse, needing to love/lead or nurture/submit to a spouse; the time demands on raising personal children. You can focus on making spiritual children!!! discipleship!!!
The PERKS of Singleness
The PRIViLEGES you have as a 40s+ single,
in the church of God,
for the kingdom of God.
Commentaries/Books
Allberry:
7 myths about singleness:
Singleness is too hard
Singleness requires a special calling
singleness means no intimacy
Singleness means no family
singleness hinders ministry
singleness wastes your sexuality
singleness is easy
Word Studies;
troubles
anxieties ἀμέριμνος
NIV v.34
“A married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world...”
Secure undivided devotion to the Lord
C: Time of distress, maybe not ideal to be married and distracted by worldly things ini the light of the coming Kingdom and the need for urgent, vigilant prayer, ministry… evangelism!
E: NET “so that without distraction you may give notable and constant service to the Lord”
NIV: “that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord”
KJV “things of the world vs things that belong to the Lord” “That you may attend upon the Lord without distraction”
NKJV “serve the Lord without distraction”
Paul’s goal to promote “Good order”
εὐσχήμων
Interests are divided
Illustrations:
Lilias Trotter - turning down a life of prestige and perhaps even marriage with John R ? famous artist for the sake of her mission not being distracted…