Jesus: Way of peace with families

21 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. 22 “You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved.

and then

Matthew 10:34–37 NASB95

34 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 “For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36 and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. 37 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.

Yes, Jesus came to bring peace as the Prince of peace (Isa9:6); but Jesus brings division within families too because of faith as just noted in (Mt10:34-37). This is because of unbelief or because of not applying God’s instructions.

(Transition): Even when we see the dysfunction, those who turn to Christ and submit to Him, Husband, wife, Father, Mother, Child, etc. there can be true peace in families.

Dysfunctional families need peace

Dysfunctional: Where conflict, misbehavior and even abuse on a part of individual members of the family occur continually, leading other members to accommodate such actions. Another part of the definition is where children grow up understanding such conduct to be normal (Insert personal story here)

Dysfunctional behavior is learned and passed on from generation to generation because of observation and norm of the family.

Family dysfunction is a peace killer, destroyed and a stumbling block

Between husbands/wives; leading to fights and divorce

Between parents/children, leading to mental and could be physical abuse

Between siblings that often lead to life-long alienation

Dysfunctional behavior creates a volatile home environment

(Transition): Dysfunction, like murder often starts in the heart. When we do not have peace in our heart it is hard to have peace in the family and it can be a hostile home environment where people lash out on one another, and it can come out at work too or other relationships. But God, love that phrase, through Jesus offers us true peace.

Jesus offers true peace for families

Jesus teaching on marriage

Jesus taught that marriage was to be for life (Mt19:3-6)

Matthew 19:3–6 NASB95

3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

God hates divorce for it brings turmoil to the family (consider Mal2:16_

We know Jesus did give a reason for divorce, fornication, sexual immorality (Mt5:31-32, 19:6-9)

Matthew 5:31–32 NASB95

31 “It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

(transition) Being committed to your marriage, laboring together in your marriage is a big step in keeping, preserving, making peace within the family.

The apostles teaching on family

Husbands love and respect wives (Eph5:25-29; Col3:19; 1Pt3:7)

Ephesians 5:25–29 NASB95

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,

add in Col3:19

Colossians 3:19 NASB95

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.

and 1Pt3:7

1 Peter 3:7 NASB95

7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Wives are to love, submit to husbands, and teach other women to do the same (Tit2:3-4; Eph5:22-24; Col3:18; 1Pt3:1-6)

Older teach younger (Tit2:3-4)

Titus 2:3–4 NASB95

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,

Submit as unto the Lord (Eph5:22-24)

Ephesians 5:22–24 NASB95

22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

It starts with mutual submission (Eph5:21)

Ephesians 5:21 NASB95

21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

It is fitting to submit to to one another (consider Col3:18) and the results is you become daughters of Sarah (consider 1Pt3:1-6)

Parents are to raise their children properly

Fathers not to provoke unto wrath (Eph6:4, or consider Col3:21)

Ephesians 6:4 NKJV

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Fathers to bring them up in admonition of the Lord (consider Eph6:4 again)

Mothers are to love their children, manage the home (ref: Tit2:4; 1Tim5:14)

1 Timothy 5:14 NASB95

14 Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach;

Children are to obey and honor parents (Eph6:1-3)

Ephesians 6:1–3 NASB95

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

For when children do, it is well pleasing to the Lord (Col3:20)

Colossians 3:20 NASB95

20 Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.

Commitment in marriage is where we started in the family, now commitment to family duties, biblical teaching produce peace and harmony in the home.

The Peace Jesus offers to families

By their fruit you will know them (Mt7:15-20)

Matthew 7:15–20 NASB95

15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 “You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? 17 “So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 “A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19 “Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 “So then, you will know them by their fruits.

Many oppose the Bible and its teaching on marriage and even the very definition of it.

Many long life, long term, work through everything together with the Lord are from generations past

The peace Jesus offers is for once in a life time marriages, healthy families that are to be the norm not the exception. This happens when the teachings of Jesus Christ are followed.

Our true family is God’s family

We can try our best, but sometimes other family members do not cooperate or we do not cooperate and we become a dysfunctional family.

Our best effort cannot make an unbelieving spouse a believer or even to stay for some may leave because of your faith.

1 Corinthians 7:12–15 NASB95

12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

Some family members may be enemies over faith (Mt10:21)

Matthew 10:21 NASB95

21 “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death.

Through Jesus, faith/trust in Him you have access to an ever growing, ever lasting family that can be there through all things.

For there is peace of mind knowing one’s true family (Mt12:48-50)

Matthew 12:48–50 NASB95

48 But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” 49 And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! 50 “For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother.”

We are family when we do the will of the Father, we keep His commands.

Conclusion/Invitation

Today we have focused on peace within the family, from dysfunctional to eternal as a family of God the church. We looked at Husbands, wives, Fathers, Mothers, children, and the peace Jesus offers to family

Before we have that God’s peace is made available to the person, the one who puts heart and soul through faith and obedience into God’s hands through the finished work of Jesus