Building Grace-Filled Relationships 2

Colossians 1:9–14 ESV

9 And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10 so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; 12 giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. 13 He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Colossians 2:6–8 ESV

6 Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, 7 rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. 8 See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.

Here are ten signs of controlling parents:

Interfering in everything: Controlling parents try to dictate a child’s academic decisions, career, and social life.

Use of manipulation tactics: Overly possessive parents may use emotional manipulation to control their children. For example, reminding children they are obligated to their parents because of “all they have done for you.”

Conditional love: Another sign of a controlling parent is conditional love. Love is not given freely or without expectation from controlling parents. An example would be if the child only receives affection or praise when getting straight As at school.

Demanding obedience: In a house with controlling parents, there will be rigid, unrealistic rules that cannot be questioned.

Harsh punishments that do not align with the offense: Any minor infractions result in total loss of privileges, electronics, or excessive grounding

.Lack of empathy and respect: Controlling parents may fail to provide empathy or feedback for accomplishments. They may say, “It’s not that big of a deal,” or “You could have done better.”

Lack of appreciation for individuality: Children or grown children do not have space to form their viewpoints, beliefs, sense of style, aspirations, and more.

Eliminating or providing little privacy: An overbearing parent expects every aspect of a child’s life to be shared.

Criticizing or having an unsolicited opinion about independent choices: To a controlling parent, every decision their child makes is wrong unless they agree, even if the choice does not impact them.

Unattainable or perfectionist standards: Many overbearing parents pressure their children to be overachievers in academics, sports or club involvement, volunteering, and social or family obligations.

1. Keep it in the Family

Whatever you do

In wisdom (consequences matter)

no agency

2. Do everything under the authority of Christ

avoiding submission (being controlled vs being submitted)

So you can’t do certain things

And you must prioritize some things

Family, Church, Work

Time

3. Do everything representing Christ

Controlled people don’t like to represent someone else (difference being controlled vs being respected)

Babies/ Sons - Don’t miss the look

2 Corinthians 5:18–20 ESV

18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

4. As a way of giving thanks to God

Suffering

God the Father made a way for us to grow in our knowledge of Him

and gave us a secure inheritance in Him forever

Parenting is not suffering so your kids can know more wealth

Parenting is also not suffering and hoping your kids eventually see how valuable you were to them

Know yourself and know others especially God

Christians don’t avoid problems because it’s a way of enriching your thankfulness to God

Look for the wide places

Oh, the Places You'll Go! - Dr. Seuss Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes You can steer yourself Any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go. You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care. About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there." With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, You're too smart to go down any not-so-good street. And you may not find any You'll want to go down. In that case, of course, You'll head straight out of town. It's opener there In the wide open air. Out there things can happen And frequently do To people as brainy And footsy as you. And when things start to happen, Don't worry. Don't stew. Just go right along. You'll start happening too. OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO! You'll be on your way up! You'll be seeing great sights! You'll join the high fliers Who soar to high heights. You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed. You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don' t Because, sometimes, you won't.

You'll get mixed up, of course, As you already know. You'll get mixed up With many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact And remember that Life's A Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.) KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS! So... Be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray Or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea, You're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way!

Community Group questions

How do we bless our church family in what we do during the week?

How does what you do come under the authority of Christ? How do people in your small group think of what you do as glorifying Christ?

How does what you do represent Christ? Share ideas of ways you can do this with wisdom.

How can you as a group grow in wisdom in what you do by discussing the word of Christ together?

Give thanks together to God for what Christ has done for you and the opportunities that gives you.