Biblical Conflict: Philippians 4:2-3

Prayer

Alright, 2nd—5th graders you guys are free to dismiss. And as a reminder, parents you can pick those children up at the Wetlands Building, and if you need any help finding where that is, don’t hesitate to ask someone with a lanyard.

If you’re new with us, my name is Andrew McClure and I’m one of the Pastors here, and today our text brings us into the final chapter in the book of Philippians.

So if you would turn with me to Philippians 4.

So let’s read our text for today:

Philippians 4:1–3 ESV

Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved. I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.

Introduction

In our text, Paul is directly and blatantly addressing a problem of disunity within the church.

And church, I hate to tell you, but conflict in the church and among Christian’s is inevitable.

The church is just a gathering of sinners, in process of becoming perfect, but sinners who still sin.

A hospital for the hurting, and as the old saying goes… hurt people, hurt people.

So disagreements, misunderstandings, frustrations, and disunity are always knocking on the door of Christ’s church.

It’s inevitable, and it exits for a variety of reasons.

Thom Ranier, writer, researcher and CEO of Lifeway Christian Resources did a funny survey a few years back asking for church members to share about various fights, schisms, and conflicts in their congreations.

Here are my favorite:

In one example, one member left a church over an argument… get this, concerning the appropriate length for the worship pastor’s beard!

One church reported a deacon had accused another deacon of sending an anonymous letter, and they decided to… you won’t believe this… “settle the issue in the church parking lot.”

One church, hotly divided, had to go to a congregational vote over whether to serve cran/grape juice or regular grape juice for Communion.

One heated conflict was over rather or not “deviled eggs” should be allowed at a church potluck--- truly wishing to give the devil no opportunity…

Now praise the Lord, that we’ve been spared from these types of issues, but no church is immune from conflict.

In fact, the statistics are pretty alarming:

91% of Pastors who “often” think about leaving their church state ongoing conflict in the congreation as the reason.

40% of Pastors report a serious conflict with a member, or mediating a conflict between members at least once a month.

Conflict is inevitable.

In every church.

Even churches like Philippians.

Remember, the Philippian church was a great church, an impressive church… this church was Paul’s joy and crown as verse 1 states, but even healthy churches , full of wonderful and mature believers, will struggle with conflict because they will struggle with sin.

And as always, we need God’s word to caid us and instruct us on how to properly deal with it.

So Paul, fully embracing his shepherds heart, gives the Philippians a process to solving the problem.

And it’s a process, we’d do well to adopt today also.

Outline

First, we’ll look at the Imperative.

Second, we’ll look at the Intervention.

Let’s begin with the Imperative.

If you’re far removed from Language Arts class, imperative by definition is an authoritative command, and that’s exactly what Paul provides.

Look at verse 2.

The Imperative

Philippians 4:2 “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord.”

Now, we’ll unpack this, but what immediately strikes me is how INTENSE Paul is!

Notice the Intensity!

Remember, this is a letter, and this is long before the printing press.

Today, each and every one of us has our own individual copy of this letter.

Many of us have it a variety of translations.

But the point is, its private. And we read it in our own private, and personal quiet time.

But not so with the church in Philippi.

This letter would have been dispatched from the Apostle Paul, from his Roman Jail Cell, and received by an elder of the church or network of churches in the region of Philippi… a man Paul labels “true companion” in verse 3.

And that elder, would call the church together, break the seal, and begin reading it out loud… publicly.

Now picture that scene.

The elder, slowly and clearly reads chapter 1, 2, and concludes chapter 3..

“But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.”

And remeber, there’s no chapters. There’s no sections. Those are added later for your aid. But to the orignial hearer, it’s just a run on letter, so it goes on…

“Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and my cown, stand firm thus in the Lord my beloved.”

Oh I can see them, they hear all of Paul’s affection and encouragement and they begin to swell with Pride.

and then ALL OF A SUDDEN THEIR HIT WITH

“And I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to get along!”

Crickets. Until that one kid, who was in every class says, “Ooooooooooooo”

I mean, immediately these two women feel the heat of everybody’s gaze.

Just want to melt through the floor. Disappear.

Publicly, called out by name, in front of the entire church.

I mean, can you imagine.

So the intensity of this imperative is immediately felt…This is a big deal!

but why?

Why must Paul be so blatant, and brass by calling these ladies out by name.

Well, its because the stakes are so High.

Euodia and Syntyche weren’t bad apples looking for a brawl.

They weren’t self-unaware, low in emotional intelligence, or spiritually immature with a pattern of gossip, slander, or anger.

Right, we’ve all had conflict with people that fit that bill, but that’s not Euodia and Syntyce.

Look at verse 4, these were women who had labored side by side with Paul in the advancement of the gospel.

These were magnificient and spiritually mature women.

That word labor is a gladiator term--- they fought alongside Paul.

And Paul was 100% confident that their names were written in the Lamb’s book of life.

Elect warriors. Mature mothers of the faith. People who battled for the building of the church

Yet now, for whatever reason, they are battling one another and tearing down the church.

And because of that, Paul rebukes them publicly by name, simply for that reason.

These were women that held significant influence over others in the church, and they were setting the wrong example for the less mature members.

Maybe even lines were being drawn, sides were being taken.

So internally, within the church, this disagreement was negatively impacting the health of the church, and for Paul that stake is too high.

But, also this conflict was EXTERNALLY jeopardizing the witness of the very gospel for which they had fought.

Don’t forget Jesus said

SLIDE, John 13:35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.””

We’ve harped on this in this series, but people know Jesus, not just by what we say, but how we live.

The way we serve one another, love one another, bear with one another, rejoice with one another, weep with one another, everything we do with one another is either evidence for or against the reality of the Gospel.

In the 3rd Century, Christian Theologian Turtillian recorded how the pagans surrounding the church in North Africa exclaimed, “See how these Christians Love one another!”

Love has been, and always will be the sign of Christian maturity and evidence of the Gospel.

And, SLIDE 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

But when Christians are impatient and rude, prideful and jealous, constantly seeking to be right rather than having relationship, quick to anger, happy when another falls or fails. Unwilling to bear with each other, opposed to beliving th ebest about each other, and unwilling to endure with one another.

We show our immaturity, but more than anything we jeopordize the witness of the gospel.

as puritan writer Thomas Manton wrote, “Divisions in the church always breed atheism in the world.”

John McArthur after 40 years of pastoring said, “Every problem that our church has ever faced can be tracked back to a lack of love.”

And we don’t know the details of these two ladies’ disagreement.

But from what we know of Paul, it probably wasn’t theological or doctrinal because he would have called that out.

SO most likely, it was just some interpersonal disagreement, but it was so strong that it was negatively impacting the internal health of the church, and the external witness of the church and for Paul those are high stakes, and must be called out directly and swiftly.

Church, Unity and Harmony in the church and among individual believers is a big deal.

According to Scripture, when we live in unity with one another we glorify God togehter (Romans 15:5-6)

When we live and work in unity, the church grows and is built up in love (Ephesians 4:16)

As stated, and as prayed by our Lord in Gethsamane, our unity testifies to the world of Christ

John 17:21 “that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.”

Unity and Harmony is a big deal…

And Paul concerned for the glory of God, as well as the health of the church addresses the issue in directly, and with intensity.

But he does it impartially.

Look back with me at the Imperative. vs. 2.

Notice the Impartiality!

Philippians 4:2 “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord.”

So concerning this imperative, notice that he entreats them both.

He entreats, or begs, or pleads with Euodia, but then immediately follows it by begging with or pleading with Syntyche.

There were no sides taken by Paul.

He wasn’t writing to pronounce a judgmenet, or one right and the other wrong.

They were equally to blame, and consequently he pleads with them both.

And this is the right first step in the process of Biblical Conflict--- he may have called them out publicly, but he’s commanding them to figure it out Privately

… just the two of them, one on one, to agree in the Lord.

Matthew 18, one of the most clear passages of Scripture about how to address conflict within the church states, Matthew 18:15 ““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”

Proverbs 25:9 “Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another’s secret,”

So listen, if you are currently in conflict with another sister or brother in Christ, may I encourage you to go directly to them.

But if you’ve begun to open your mouth, and talk about that with somebody else

Either, in order to feel justified for your hurt, or in order to slander and alter someone else’s perspective of the person. You are in Sin.

You have failed to uphold the unity of the Spirit of Christ through the bond of peace.

And once you’ve made your dispute or conflict public, the Scriptures would say that’s reason to call out your conflict publicly, as Paul is doing here.

The confession and reconciliation needs to go as far as the sin has gone.

So as step 1, Paul commands them to get in a room and work this thing out privately.

But can I quickly offer a few biblical tips, on how to best move toward one another?

Be Unoffendable

One of the easiest ways to avoid and overcome potential conflict, is to cultivate an unoffendable spirit.

And I’ll let the Proverbs speak to this.

Proverbs 12:16 “The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.”

Proverbs 15:18 “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.”

Proverbs 19:11 “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

Church, it is actually quiet possible to be so secure in your identity in Christ that you aren’t easily offended.

You can actually be so full of God’s grace and God’s mercy, that when you perceive a slight you immediately cover with a belief of the best about that person.

“I’m not going to be offended by that, who knows what kind of day they’re having!”

It is to your glory to be hurt, and yet because you’re so aware of how much Christ has forgiven, you forgive without ever having to have confrontation, and your love for Christ and your love for your offender covers a multitude of sins.

Church, the truth is being easiliy or always offended is actually a sign of spiritual and emotional immaturity.

So try and Be Unoffendable.

But… if you can’t.

If that perceived slight is driving a deeper wedge, and really altering your perspective of someone and negatively impacting the relationship.

The Imperative applies--- move toward it.

But enter it with Humility.

Be Humble

Proverbs 21:2 “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

We all think we are feeling, judging, and perceiving the issue clearly… and usually the conclusion is .... YEA, IT”S THERE FAULT.

The truth is, we so easiliy deceive ourselves, and build cases in our own favor.

Remember what Christ taught, Matthew 7:3–4“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?

Jesus is just stating a universal problem. ONe we all have.

We so easily and clearly see the fault in others, yet we have a 40 foot pine tree sticking out of our own eyes.

He goes on to say,

Matthew 7:5 “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

Here’s the truth church, if you want to engage in biblical conflict, before you ever get up to move toward your offender… you’ve got to humble yourself.

Proverbs 16:2 “All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.”

So we humbly come before God, and pray, Psalm 139:23–24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”

How many marital fights could be put to bed erly if someone, and men I’m going to say YOU, but someone would do this.

One person, humble themselves to seek their own log!

Christian Unity is only possible, when individual christians embrace biblical humility.

Philippians 2:3–4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

When we’re hurt, its all too easy to only condier ourselves, our wants, our interests, our perspectives.

But a humble person, a person who shares the mind of Christ, will DO NOTHING from selfish ambition. Instead they will humble themselves first, to see their own log, and only then will they see clear enough to notice the speck in another.

And usuallly ya’ll, once you’ve done this “heartwork” you’re able to forgive and cover that offense, while being unoffendable.

Be Jesus Focused

Paul’s imperative is for them to agree, but he doesn’t stop there, he goes on to say… IN THE LORD.

The goal isn’t Unaminity, where everybody has to agree on everything!

Paul knows that diverse people, from diverse backgrounds, with diverse personalites aren’t going to agree on everything!

The goal isn’t unaminity, but unity.

We don’t have to agree on the issue, but we do have to agree in the Lord.

And to agree in the Lord, is to point Euodia and Syntyche to something that they do agree on and something that trumps everything else! CHRIST

So paul’s imperative is… remember you agree in the Lord.

You’re both in Christ.

Remember that!

Rememnber you’re citizens of heaven. Remember he’s returning. Remember what Christ has done for you. Fill your mind with those truths. And if you do, diviseiveness will dissipate.

See the big picture. Remember what you have in common.

Euodia and Syntyche you’re not enemies here, you’re on the same team.

Is it not true, that most conflicts in our lives that lead to divisiveness in our churches is propelled by people looking at themselves, their own hurt, their own pride or looking at others’ faults, sins, and shortcomings?

But when we look up, and remember Christ— it reorients our perspective so that we can walk in the imperative to agree in the Lord.

So…

Conflict is inevitable. I wish it weren’t, but it is.

And when it begins to bleed out into the church, it must be imperatively dealt with even with intensity… but defintitely with impartiality.

Most conflicts within the church, should take place over a meal, a walk, or a cup of coffee between the two parties.

But sometimes, even in light of all that hard work… the offense grows. More hurt is added. And sin grows.

And if that’s the case, Paul takes it to step 2... an Intervention.

The Intervention

Philippians 4:3 “Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.”

Paul also instructs an intervention, if necessary, to help these women “agree in the Lord.”

And this is exactly the progression that the Lord Jesus himself instructed.

Matthew 18:15–16 ““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.”

Sometimes frictions between believers become so severe that the wise course of action is for a 3rd party to mediate between the two sides.

But listen, there is a huge difference between meddling and mediation.

Meddling is involvement driven by corrupt motives.

Knowledge is power, and meddlers want to be in the know to every little dissension, and gossip, and issue, because to know about it makes them feel valuable, and powerful.

And meddlers will act like they want to help you in your conflict, but the motive is simply to help fulfill their own lust for power.

The motive is self, not Christ-Centered service to others.

Therefore, a mediator needs to be a mature believer in the Gospel.

Maturity measured, once again by love.

Biblical Love. Love that does not rejoice in wrong doing, but only rejoices in the truth.

A biblical mediator, is someone who loves you and wants to help you, but loves you enough to hold you accountable for your issue in the conflict.

So often, we seek a coalition, under the guise of mediation.

We choose someone we believe will agree with us…

But if you want to honor the Lord and handle your conflict biblically, you’ll choose a wise mediator.

This was one of the problems, one of many, that was plauging the Corinthian Church.

1 Corinthians 6:1 “When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints?”

1 Corinthians 6:4 “So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church?”

So people in the church were grieved or offended, and were running to the courts for arbitration, and Paul reprimands them and pushes them to find mature mediators.

1 Corinthians 6:5 “I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers,”

Mediation, is a God given, God honoring position.

And here in our text, Paul doesn’t even leave it up to Euodia and Syntyche… he selects the mediator himself.

Philippians 4:3 “Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women...

We don’t know who it was specifically, but again back then, if a letter was sent to an entire church it would have been sent to 1 particular individual who held some form of responsibility over the church, and that person would read the ltter to the entire church.

So this true companion, which means true companion, or partner, was apparently the recipient of this letter, and now charged by Paul to fight fot the unity of the Church.

So we can’t know for certain, but based on what we do know I think there’s a strong case that this true companion was an Elder.

Now, to be clear, Matthew 18 doesn’t distinguish that the mediator needs to hold any official position within the church.

According to Ephesians 4:3 WE ARE ALL CALLED TO “eagerly maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

We all share this responsibility, and a mediator can be any mature brother or sister in Christ.

But, if a mediation is unsuccessful, or the issues have bled into the wider church, it would need to be handled by the leaders, shepherds, or elders of that church.

Part of being an elder is engaging in and addressing and mediating biblical conflict.

This is why their character must be “respectable, gentle and not quarrelsome” according to 1 Timothy 3.

They must be willing to not only protect the flock of God from wolves on the outside, which includes sin or false teaching, and false teachers etc.

But they must also be willing to protect the flock of God from the inside, conflict, dissent, schism, etc.

So those who aspire to the office of Elder aspire to a noble task, but you better know what God requires of you.

You better know it will include getting into the trenches of peoples sin, and christian’s conflict.

This is where coming to church vs., being committed to the church are vastly different.

You see, lots of people want to come to a church that preaches the Word, but not many people want to be held personally accountable to what the Word says, but that’s what it means to be committed.

But when people do commit to the biblical pattern of conflict

. They humbly and willingly submit themselves to what the Word of God teaches, and what the Word of God requires some of the greatest gospel stories of reconciliation begin to unfold.

I’ve seen some of the most supernatural miracles I’ve ever seen, when biblical conflict is managed and mediated well.

I’ve seen divorced parties remarried, infidelity forgiven and reconciled, famlies not talking living and loving together.

I’ve seen people repent, and grow more in a single conversation in their maturity in Christ, then the previous decade.

I’ve seen people rife with stress and anxiety, largely created by resent and bitterness freed and light and joyfilled.

Biblical Conflict isn’t easy. It’s not fun. But it is inevitable.

And I pray we become a church, and ou become a christian that engages it well.

Conclusion

Church, we’ve got to learn how to wisely, gently, and maturely engage biblical conflict.

It isn’t necessarily a sign of a healthy church, when there’s Zero Conflict.

Right, just look at Philippi. They were a healthy church. So healthy isn’t defined by the absence of conflict.

Instead, healthy is defined by the ability of its members to move toward conflict in a way that honors Christ and preaches His Gospel.

So here’s a personal challenge for you today:

Who are you currently in conflict with? And the conflict at this point, may only be in your heart. The other party may not even know they you’re hurt, angry, frustrated, bitter, etc.

Matthew 5:22–24 “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

That’s your imperative. Your act of worship is to agree in the Lord.

So who is that person?

It could be a spouse, someone you serve with, anybody?

But before you leave your gift, and run… let me remind you.

More times than not, conflict can be peacefied simply by becoming unoffendable and humbling yourself.

Is there an opportunity here for you to let grace and lover cover a multitude of offenses?

Have you done your heartwork, and taken the log out of your own eye?

If yes, and there is still division--- may I encourage you to move toward them with eyes focused on Jesus.

And to aid you in that process, we have a resource for you this morning.

In 1982, a man by the name of Ken Sande founded an organization that served as mediation for organizations. Later he has given his life to equipping other Christian’s in Peacemaking principles and in 2004 he wrote the seminal work The PeaceMaker.

If you haven’t read it, I’d highly recommend it before you launch out into actually engaging conflict.

But, if you’re not a big reader, we have a Pamplhet for you on the table in the back on your way out.

That lists Peacemaking Principles, many of which we’ve covered today.

Take one. And I pray that you grow into a mature believer in Christ, that fights for the unity of the church, for the glory of God and the advancement of the gospel.

Let me Pray