The Moment That Turns The Eye

I Samuel 18:5-13

Opening Remarks: Traveling…kid in Vermont from a Bible College. His response to an experience in college had led him away from God. His mishandling of a life situation had made him a casualty. I think that happens far more than we realize. Christian casualties happen every day because people don’t know how to handle life situations properly. Something happens, they get wounded, but rather than respond biblically they respond emotionally and it takes them down. That’s what I’d like to deal with in King Saul’s life tonight. READ & PRAY

Introduction: Christian Graveyards Imagine there’s a place called the Christian Graveyard. It’s full of people who at one point were in church, serving God, with a heart to make a difference for eternity. They once taught Sunday School, sang in choir and invited people to church. But now they’re out of church. Not serving God. No effort to have a relationship with God. Some claim they don’t even believe in God anymore. What happened? Suppose that, instead of the tombstone listing date of birth and death, it says the cause of death. Of all the reasons that a person would most likely land in the Christian Graveyard, don’t be surprised if a large number of those tombstones have one word – Bitterness. They were hurt and couldn’t get over it. Your response to the offenses of life will determine if you end up in the Christian Graveyard or not. If you can’t handle offenses, your offenses will handle you.

Saul is a prime example of how someone can mishandle a life situation. In I Samuel 18, David has just defeated Goliath…

18:2 – Saul brings David into his home to be his personal attendant (the potential for conflict is huge…)

*Kind of man Saul is - reactionary, angry, rebellious

*God rejected him as king because of his disobedience in I Samuel 13 & 15. Then God had Samuel anoint Da to replace

*Now David works for him - conditions are prime for trouble

Vs. 6 – Ladies came to meet Saul (but not sing a song about him)

Vs. 7 – They sang a song praising David…combustible material

Vs. 8 – Saul now sees David as a threat

Vs. 9 – Stink eye

Vs. 10-11 – Saul tries to kill David twice (while David was playing his harp for Saul!)

Vs. 12 – Saul was afraid of David because he was a threat to his throne.

Vs. 13 – Saul sends David away, but make no mistake, Saul has declared war on David.

Consider what’s going on here:

· Saul’s in a bad place spiritually. He’s been rejected as Israel’s king. He’s paranoid and insecure. He’s not thinking clearly.

· And then something happens that pushes him over the edge – does Jerusalem get attacked? No. Does his family get kidnapped? No. Some women sing a song & it hurts feelings.

· Here’s a grown man, a king, and something as harmless as lyrics to a song change everything.

· I find it interesting that it wasn’t the words of Samuel the prophet confronting him about his sin that turned Saul.

· It wasn’t the words of Goliath in chapter 17 blaspheming his God that caused Saul to do something.

· No, the words to a song that compared him to David – that’s what transformed Saul from that indecisive king in the valley of Elah to a man on a mission.

· His new mission – Not to destroy the enemies of God, but to destroy God’s anointed. A man who didn’t even sing the song!

Consider Saul’s choice the moment he heard the song:

A) Let it be what it was – lyrics to a song. Sung by women.

B) Take it so personally that it becomes the controlling force for the rest of his life.

And Saul chooses B. In verse 9 he began to eye David, which is a turning point. You might call this the Moment That Turns The Eye. You know, those pivotal moments in our lives when we either let go of an offense or we allow it to take hold of our hearts.

In the Moment That Turned Saul’s Eye, instead of letting the offense go, he internalized it. Got angry. Let it impact the rest of his life. We know his days were numbered as king, but he didn’t have to live the rest of his life in misery. How many times has God allowed someone to repent of their sin and be restored? Countless times! That could have been Saul, but he spent the last seven years of his life chasing David around the countryside. And it started with words to a song.

We say “That’s crazy!” but wait, Saul’s not the only one With A Moment That Turned The Eye. Life is full of opportunities to be offended. And if we’re not careful, we do what King Saul did. Rather than letting go of an offense we internalize it. We let it fester until we’re consumed. It can happen to any of us. I can’t put a measurable number to this, but in my experiences the majority of people who quit church and walk away from God usually reference a Moment That Turned Their Eye. Meaning, an offense became their focus and they couldn’t overcome it.

The Process

Saul’s situation starts with an injury. His feelings were hurt. In his mind David was getting credit he deserved. It’s an offense. And this is how the process goes:

A. #1 – Someone does something that hurts us. There’s a Wound.

1. It may be big. (Abuse, rejection, etc.)

2. It could be small. (Gossip, words, a dirty look, etc.)

3. Don’t discount it just because it’s small. A small offense can become a huge problem. I would say the majority of offenses that turn into something big start out small.

4. It could be done in ignorance. (Someone may not even know they’ve offended you)

5. It could be perceived instead of real. (Saul perceived an offense that David had nothing to do with. But it was just as real as an actual offense in the mind of Saul)

6. Step #1 – There’s A Wounding Offense

B. #2 – Once the offense is committed, There’s A Debt That’s Owed.

1. When someone does you wrong, there’s an internal sense of justice in each of us that wants to see the debt repaid.

2. Our nature wants things to be rectified and when they’re not we don’t usually respond well.

3. The pivotal moment comes when you choose what to do with that debt.

C. #3 – Either we release the person from the debt or we choose to make sure they repay every last penny.

1. Example #1 – Someone borrows my brand new iPhone to take a photo of the world’s largest cheese factory right here in Clovis, NM. I’m hesitant but let them. Taking a selfie with a block of muenster cheese, they drop my phone into a huge tank of melted cheese, never to be seen again. Step #1 – That’s an offense. An injury.

a. Step #2 – A debt is owed. I say, “You broke my new phone. You owe me a new, functioning phone.”

b. But then the third step comes in. If I tell that person, “Even though there’s an offense and even though you owe me for the phone, you don’t have to pay for it.” I have released them from the debt.

c. It doesn’t mean I’m not angry. It doesn’t mean I don’t incur a loss. It simply means that person doesn’t have to pay the debt.

d. This is an illustration forgiveness. When Christ said in Matthew 6:12 “…and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors,” He was using financial terms. That’s forgiveness on a basic level.

e. Forgiveness – “The act of setting someone free from an obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against you.” The Bible words for forgive generally mean “to send away, release, set free…” It means to cut something loose. Let it go.

f. Unfortunately, forgiveness is not the typical response to most offenses.

2. Example #2 – Someone borrows my brand new iPhone. They’re taking a selfie with muenster and drop it. (Off)

a. I say, “You lost my new phone. You owe me a new, functioning phone.” (Debt owed)

b. But this time I say, “I’m hurt by your irresponsible behavior. You owe me for a phone and you will pay me back every penny the phone’s worth plus my pain and suffering.”

c. Rather than release the debt, I want to make sure they pay every penny owed.

d. Illustration: Nephew doesn’t understand forgiveness – “I forgive you but you’re going to pay for this…”

e. An offense is like someone taking money from me. Forgiveness is letting them walk away with no obligation. Unforgiveness is following them until they pay what they owe me.

Here’s the thing, forgiveness is against our nature. When we’ve been wounded, we don’t like to release the offender from the debt they owe us. “You’re going to pay for this…”

In the Moment That Turns The Eye, we have two choices: We can either release the offender from the debt or we can cling to the offense and bury it deep within our hearts:

Burying the Hurt

Burying the hurt is like planting a seed. What we’re supposed to do with the offense is discard the seed so it can’t grow. But it’s more natural to plant the seed deep in our hearts where it takes root and begins to grow.

We plant the seed of unforgiveness deep within our hearts, and it produces the opposite of forgiveness, which is bitterness. Forgiveness releases an offense, bitterness holds on tightly.

Hebrews 12:15 “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” The Greek word for bitterness is pikRIa, which means harshness or hatred. A root of bitterness tangles its way around our hearts and affects every part of our lives. It produces the worst kind of fruit. Think about the fruit produced in Saul’s life in his Moment That Turned His Eye.

I. Bitterness seeks only destruction – I Sam. 18

A. That which you refuse to forgive will become what you seek to destroy.

B. In the Moment That Turns Your Eye, that which you refuse to forgive becomes your focus of destruction. It was true for Saul:

1. Spent the remaining years of his life obsessing over destroying David.

2. He threw javelins. He sent David on missions that he thought would kill him. He sent soldiers to hunt him down. Saul’s mission became destruction.

C. Saul’s inability to release David from a debt set him on a path of destruction. But it wasn’t David’s destruction.

1. Remember what Hebrews 12:15 said? “Lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble YOU.”

2. “Bitterness is drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

3. In the end, Saul’s plots and schemes to destroy David put Saul in the Graveyard.

D. Illustration:73 yr old Carl Ericsson shot and killed Norman Johnson, who over 50 years earlier had played a prank on him in high school.

1. You can obsess over revenge and seeing someone taken down, but you’re troubled more than the offender.

2. Bitterness seeks only to destroy.

II. Bitterness stains every relationship

A. Consider again Hebrews 12:15, “Lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”

1. Bitterness affects every part of us. Our speech, our attitudes, our countenance, every relationship. We can’t escape its effects.

2. You can usually tell a bitter person within the first couple of minutes of a conversation.

3. That word “defiled” means “to stain” or “to dye.” Like an Easter egg, if you put the entire egg in the food coloring there’s no part of the shell untouched.

4. Bitterness stains you. It entangles you internally. It touches every relationship.

B. Think about what Saul’s bitterness toward David caused:

1. 18:20-21 – Saul determined to use his own daughter to destroy David. He would ask David to take on a hundred Philistines to prove himself worthy just so David would be killed.

2. You talk about staining other relationships. Saul’s own daughter was used a pawn in his bitterness toward D.

3. And in chapter 20:32-33, Saul finds himself throwing a javelin again, but this time at his own son, Jonathan, because Jonathan was David’s friend.

C. Bitterness affects every part of our lives. To the point that relationships we should value the most become victims of our bitterness.

1. Dads, your bitterness isn’t license to treat your wife like she’s your enemy.

2. Mom, your bitterness isn’t license to deal with your kids in anger.

3. Your bitterness will cause you to treat the people that love you the most like your worst enemies.

4. But that’s what happens when we fail the Moment That Turns The Eye – Everything we see is through the lens of bitterness.

D. The root of bitterness destroys and stains.

1. It’s like planting a seed that turns into a tree.

2. Illustration: Acorn turning into a massive tree

III. Applications:

A. What offenses have you experienced?

1. Small: An unkind word, Someone said something about you, Parents – someone got on to your kids, Someone serves in the ministry you think you should be doing, Someone else gets the attention or credit, Someone else gets blessed and you don’t…Small things can turn the eye.

2. But there are Big Things: Abuse, Broken home, Unfaithfulness, Betrayal, The loss of someone close to you, A trial you don’t think you deserved, Anger against God for unanswered prayer.

3. And if you don’t deal with the offense that has been planted in your heart, it will grow until you’re eaten up

4. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone in this room has a root of bitterness entangling your heart. You try to hide it, but it’s troubling you. And if it hasn’t already it will stain every part of your life.

5. You say, “It’s too big.” Wait a minute, don’t forget about Ephesians 4:31-32, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”

6. None of us are owed a debt as big as we owed God. Nobody has ever sinned against you to the degree that you have sinned against God. And He forgave you. If He forgave me, He can give me the grace to forgive someone else.

7. Put away – Carry off, remove. It’s a choice. You know

what Paul’s saying? It’s time to let it go. It’s time to release the debt. THROW ACORN

B. I’ve heard it said that all bitterness is against God.

1. As awful as bitterness can be in how we treat others, no relationship is as defiled by bitterness as our relationship with God.

2. You can’t have an ungodly spirit of bitterness and still walk in freedom with your heavenly Father.

3. What bitter people don’t realize is by holding the offender responsible, they put themselves at odds with God. Matthew 24 says when we don’t forgive others, He doesn’t forgive us.

4. If you’re bitter, it’s time to make things right with God. Bitterness is a sin against God. But it’s a sin He’s waiting to forgive.

Conclusion:

Are you destined for the Christian Graveyard? You might say, “No way. Not me.” But no so fast. We all have moments that turn the eye. You might be bitter:

You’ve ever been hurt.

You’ve ever been wronged in a big way or a small way.

You have a critical spirit about someone.

You’ve ever daydreamed about revenge on someone.

If someone has ever made you a promise they didn’t keep.

If someone has ever said something about you.

If someone has ever treated your kids unfairly.

If you’ve ever lost someone you loved and you didn’t understand why God would allow it.

If a moment in time has ever turned your eye from God to a person that did something you didn’t like.

Unforgiveness is the fastest way to the Christian Graveyard. The roots of bitterness will render you useless for God and stain every relationship you have.

Don’t assume you’re above it. Injuries can happen to anyone. The debt is real. But God’s forgiveness has empowered us with the ability to choose to forgive others. You don’t have to live with bitterness. With Christ’s help it’s time to let it go. If He has forgiven you, you have all the reason and power you’ll ever need to forgive someone else. Instead of living your life saying, “You’re going to pay for this,” remember, somebody already paid for it. His name is Jesus. And He paid for your offenses too. Friend, it’s time for you to let it go.