Untitled Sermon (2)

Most of the time, when we think about satire humor in our marriages, I think most of the time it isnt received well. When point out the irony of each others logic or respond with sarcasm, it often leads us to undesirable places.

However, in the right setting, when there is unity of purpose - it can be something that draws you together.

As pastor Jon alluded to this morning, one of the beautiful things about marriage is that dating goes well, engagement even better, and then you get married and you learn that there is just a natural unity. You never fight, you never get frustrated with each other, you just find yourselves in perfect harmony all the time!

Laura and I were married at 20. It probably took us about 5 days and at that point we just had the marriage thing figured out! I think its because we are both so competitive. Our whole lives to that point had been about playing sports, beating other teams and opponents. We both knew that when we said “I Do,” that it was a commitment. That from now on, we would always be committed to beating the other person in every aspect of life.

For example:

For us it all started on the first day. You see, my whole life, wherever I slept, there was a pillow, sheets, a blanket, and a general space that was for me to lay in. Meaning that the way I grew up, my understanding of the rules of going to bed is that you get to sleep in the area that is designated for you. Turns out, other people have their own rules. I can tell you in full confidence, that I have learned to sleep in less than 1/10th of the space that is designated for me.

Day 2 was another great day, we were traveling from the U.P. to Chicago for a flight that would take us on our honey moon. I learned on day two that other rules were changing. Again, the way that I grew up, when you stop the car to order some fast food, you order what you want to eat. Turns out, she doesn't always want to order fast food, so will go through the drive through and I will order what I want to eat, she wont order and we will continue on our way. But as we drive away, I learned that she must not know how to order food, because suddenly, she just wants to eat the food that I ordered.

I don’t know if your marriage is like ours but from day 1, we were always on the same page, understanding the little things,

For example, The temperature of our house has nothing to do with comfort.... its about power!

Marriages we can aspire to have:

Ron and Alayne Klenotic February 5th 2024

Their love for each other is so evident. While visiting with them over the course of an hour four or five times, they paused.... looked at each other in a heartfelt, sappy way, said the words “I love you.” Each time it was in a different context.

The first time. Alayne looked at Ron and just expressed her gratitude for the way that he takes care of her. The second was just as heart felt, just as serious.... Ron looked at Alayne and said, “thank you for putting up with me.”

Through our conversation, I picked up that Ron was pretty adventurous in his younger years. Sometimes he would do things with less equipment and training than you might think. One of those was bear hunting.. in Alaska.... by himself!

Which I am sure brought great comfort to Alayne.

He served in the Navy as a surgeon, and then came back to practice here in the states for only 6 months, knowing he was going to enlist in the army.

While he was stationed in Spain, around the age of 42, some of the other guys were trying to get Ron to fight a bull. He had watched someone else go first...... the bull was small and didnt seem threatening. Confident and unafraid, Ron grabbed the red blanket and jumped into the arena.

As he prepared himself, he was a little suprised at the amount of noise coming from the chute. There was a whole lot of loud bangs and the chute itself seemed to rattle with each one… When it opened, Ron saw a much bigger bull coming straight at him.....

He was able to quickly step to the side and have the bowl run straight through the red blanket. It turned and faced him, charging a second time, Ron was a little more confident, unfortunately, so was the bull.... This time, the bull gored his leg and flipped him up into the air. At which point the military made a rule that its members were no longer allowed to fight bulls!

So when Ron said, “Thank you to Alayne for putting up with him, he meant it.

At one point in the conversation, Alayne just said she was so grateful for Ron and said “ We have had such a great life together, I love you so much” and Ron replied with tears in his eyes, and a muffled voice by saying “ it's because of you, it's because of you, I love you so much”

Both of them continually referenced the Lord, their dependence on Him, and how He has been faithful to them throughout their marriage. They recognize his hand at work in their family and in their marriage and are evidently grateful.

I walked away from their house thinking about their love for each other. The way they softly, tenderly spoke of each other with great affection. I thought, that’s what I want to aim for in my marriage. That’s what I want to cultivate. A love and respect for each other that not only see’s the tremendous value of each other but the way that God uses each of us to compliment the other.

Ephesians 5:20–21 “20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Did you ever notice that this is what Paul says before he ever talks about the roles of men and women in marriage? Before he even mentions marriage, he prepares us to think about it rightly by starting with God and living in right community before God. I think we often misunderstand Paul in this passage. I think we often think of “Submitting to one another out of Reverence for Christ” in the context of Christian community. But Paul uses this line to transition, its a forward looking line and for the rest of the chapter is framing marriage within this context of submitting to one another.

Last week we talked about how God honoring marriage is one that looks to the interest of the other person. Today, Jon further clarified that by speaking to the unity that we should aim for within our marriages.

Patti Peterson

A few months ago, I went to visit Patti Peterson. Patti and her late husband Vern had attended Grace for many years. In recent months, Patti has had time to reflect on her relationship with Vern. So she wrote out a testimony of their marriage. When I read it, I asked her if I could us it. This is what she said.

What is Love? Love is to want the best for another. Love is to put yourself in the place of another, to feel their feelings, walk in their shoes, weep with their tears, rejoice in their joys, take upon yourself their burdens, and give them your time, love and life.

Love must be sincere, love is not self-serving or manipulative, but compassionate and self-giving.

Love is no fear driven need for control but a joyful commitment to each other’s well-being, and our love was and is worth the grieving. All we are is the sum of the choices we make and I choose my savior Jesus.

Last week, I preached from Ephesians 5:22-28, Tonight, I want to read it again but go through verse 33. As I read it, I want you to be asking the question,

“How does this help me think about how I love, serve, and cherish my spouse.”

Ephesians 5:20–33 (ESV)

20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Hopefully, in listening to these words from Paul, the Lord prompted you. Hopefully, something came to mind about how you can aim to better your marriage by the way you aim to respond and be proactive with your spouse.

Part of the idea of this series, was reflecting on marriage vows. Some couples spend weeks or even months writing their vows. Others quickly pull theirs together. And others, simply choose to repeat the traditional vows.

Whatever the case for your marriage, answer this question. “Did you mean it?”

Where you serious when you made those covenant vows with your spouse?

How well are you upholding them?

Which ones would be accurately reflected in how you treat your spouse?

Which ones do you need to pay more attention to as you interact together?

I want to challenge you to go back and take a hard look at those vows. I also want to challenge you to consider writing some new ones. Now that you have some more experience in this thing called marriage.

What adjustments and commitments do you need to make?

I am going to pray