Better Relationships Through Proverbs

Our Actions: Based on Proverbs 15

Introduction

Proverbs 15 provides some foundational principles regarding our relationship with others. Reading, mediating and applying these principles on a daily basis will lead to better relationships with those closest to us and within our circle of influence. These principles focus in three main areas:

1. Our Words

2. Our Actions

3. Our Relationship with God

Last week the focus was Our Words. Today’s study will focus on Our Actions.

Ice Breaker Question:

Can you think of a time when your actions had unintended consequences? How did they affect you? How did they affect others?

Our Actions Affecting Others

Read Proverbs 15:25

Proverbs 15:25 ESV

The Lord tears down the house of the proud but maintains the widow’s boundaries.

Read Proverbs 15:27

Proverbs 15:27 ESV

Whoever is greedy for unjust gain troubles his own household, but he who hates bribes will live.

Questions:

Put these verses in your own words.

What principle is being communicated? How is this true?

Can you think of examples in the Bible where a household was affected by the conduct of one person? (Joshua 7:1-5, Numbers 3:25-29, Numbers 14:1-4, 1 Corinthians 5:12)

Verse 25

Proud def. = To rise or be lifted up

The proud person works to accumulate possessions, including houses, building themselves up.

As opposed to those who lift God up over themselves.

The proud person, God tears them down. He doesn’t protect them. He protects the widow however. (He protects those who cannot protect themselves.)

Historical context:

The Bible Knowledge Commentary 15:25

Land, a precious commodity to the Israelites, was marked by boundaries to preserve its original parameters (Deut. 19:14). Land was kept in a family and its boundaries were important (Prov. 22:28; 23:10–11). The vulnerability of widows made them easy prey to thieves who would seek to steal their land, so the Lord Himself promised to keep widow’s boundaries from being moved.

Verse 27

Hebrew word for Greedy suggests making gain unjustly or by violence.

If you are dishonest and your wealth comes from unjust or even violent means, eventually your wife and children will suffer.

This is not accepting or or giving bribes as it perverts justice

This in turn helps to prolong one’s life and prevent trouble for one’s family.

Question 3 Texts:

Joshua commanded the Israelites not to touch any of Jericho’s loot after they had defeated Jericho. However, one man, Achan of the tribe of Judah, disobeyed that command. Because of his disobedience the Lord’s anger burned against Israel. This resulted in them losing the battle and suffering deaths at the hands of the men of Ai.

Read Proverbs 15:20

Proverbs 15:20 ESV

A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish man despises his mother.

Read Proverbs 10:1

Proverbs 10:1 ESV

The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.

Questions:

Everyone can think of a time when they brought distress or disappointment on their parents. What were the 1 or 2 factors that drove you to take those actions and how could it have been avoided? (For example: pride, lack of knowledge, influence of others, rebellious spirit, etc.)

Why don’t we think that our actions will affect others? Or do we, and just follow through with our actions anyway?

Read Proverbs 14:1

Proverbs 14:1 ESV

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.

Read Proverbs 15:21

Proverbs 15:21 ESV

Folly is a joy to him who lacks sense, but a man of understanding walks straight ahead.

Questions:

Share a time where you’ve seen this happen to others, by a woman or a man? (Their own folly tears down their house)

What is “folly” and what kind of “folly” brings down a house?

What kind of “folly” do you see prevalent in homes today? In governments? In the church?

Can “folly” be remedied? If so, what does it take?

What is Folly?

Foolishness; making foolish decisions; doing foolish acts.

Folly is contrasted with wisdom.

Folly doesn’t mean you are stupid or that you lack smarts. It more about the practical and spiritual things that you do.

Do the practical and spiritual things you do show wisdom or do they show folly?

Being Hot-Tempered

Read Proverbs 15:18

Proverbs 15:18 ESV

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.

Read Proverbs 21:19

Proverbs 21:19 ESV

It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

Read Proverbs 29:22

Proverbs 29:22 ESV

A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.

Read Proverbs 22:24

Proverbs 22:24 ESV

Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man,

Read Titus 1:7

Titus 1:7 ESV

For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain,

Read Proverbs 14:29

Proverbs 14:29 ESV

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

Questions:

What does it mean to be hot-tempered?

Why do you think there are so many scriptures that deal with anger and being “hot-tempered”?

Read Ephesians 4:26-32

Ephesians 4:26–32 ESV

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Questions:

What are the “bad actions” listed in this passage?

How does being “hot tempered” contribute to these?

What does Paul mean by “...do not let the sun go down on your anger…”? Is it possible? Is it practical?

Why do we sometimes hold on to the anger “until the next day”, so to speak?

How can being “hot tempered” grieve the Spirit of God?

Note: The word “grieve” comes from a Greek word that means: to experience deep, emotional pain or sadness, severe sorrow. The word is very intense and is used to refer to the pain of childbirth.

Do not let the sun go down on your anger..

Don’t give the devil a foothold by letting anger control you but you control your anger.

Angry and do not sin..

Greek word orge

Wuest’s Word Studies in the Greek New Testament Chapter Four

an anger which is an abiding and settled habit of the mind that is aroused under certain conditions

This is reasonable anger. There are things we should be angry about, like sin. First and foremost, our own sin. But don’t let that anger cause us to sin. Don’t let it take root inside of you.

Go down on your Anger..

Greek word Parorgismos (translated wrath)

Wuest’s Word Studies in the Greek New Testament Chapter Four

It refers to anger that is accompanied by irritation, exasperation, embitterment

This refers to being so irritated by something or someone that it consumes you. God doesn’t want us to have that kind of anger. This kind of anger you don’t just get past. It’s consistently with and affects your behaviors.

I don’t think Paul means this literally but if you need to take it literally then by all means.

Conclusion

Application Question:

Based on what you’ve learned from the study, what do you need to do personally to have better relations with others?

Prayer requests/praise reports

Pray out