GWC Testimony

Introduction:

I’ve always dreaded testimony time in Christian circles. I’ve always thought of my testimony as boring. I was never a drug-addict. I didn’t kill anybody. And yet, when I look back on my life, as this task has given me occasion to do, I’m struck by the incredible grace of God that has filled each moment of my life. I’m honoured that he would see fit to intervene in a life that seems, from the outside, so ordinary.

Early Life:

I can’t honestly call my early life anything other than blessed. I come from a family of people who love me dearly. My parents were able to provide everything we needed, and were also around enough to be there for us. They are also Christians, although the way they live that out is, I realise now, different to how others would.

We went to church when I was younger, but it was an experience we all dreaded. I hated Sunday School, and used to avoid it if at all possible. My siblings and I hated church so much that my family started the tradition of the “Sunday Chocolate.” If we behaved well in church, we were given a chocolate on the way home. We still get chocolates every Sunday we’re home.

And yet, even though in my early life I did not really know God, nor care to know him, he did not leave me totally untouched. I can think of a few occasions where, at some point in a church service, or once or twice by myself at home, the beauty of God and of his love for me would move me to tears. Although I was in no sense regenerate at this stage, I do believe God was touching my heart, preparing it for himself.

Teenage Years:

If my early life was marked by blessing, my teenage years changed all of that. My material situation didn’t change, something for which I thank God, but my sense of self began to erode. By nature I am quiet and gentle, and I have naturally nerdy interests. These days, I love these things about myself, but as a dude entering high school, that was set up to make my life difficult. I tried to fit in for a while, but realised that I just couldn’t. It was never going to work. After that, I tried to find my identity in other things. This was primarily a relationship with a girl. I dated her for just about my whole high school career. And, through no fault of her own, she was very bad for me. I made her my source of meaning in life. It was, in some sense, comfortable, but also was as unhealthy as it sounds.

Luckily for me, she was a Christian. So we would go to youth groups together. The church that hosted the youth group was Amy’s dad’s church, but we’ll leave that aside for now. It was God’s grace for me that, even when I was seeking to be anywhere else than with him, he still used that connection to tie me to his church, and through that to himself.

That relationship lasted just short of four years, and then broke apart. I can’t really explain what happened except to say that I had an identity crisis, and given that this girl formed so much of my identity, when that self-understanding broke, our relationship broke with it. I broke her heart and took to partying. But after a while in the party scene, I realised that I don’t belong there. My self, my person, does not respond well to that kind of environment. So I came back to that girl, and to stay with her, I took an internship at Amy’s dad’s church, Christ Church Hilton, for my gap year.

Salvation:

Although I was back with this girl, our relationship was broken, and fell apart early in my gap year. By this point, however, I found myself now working in a church. And the most remarkable thing happened. I started to learn the gospel. As I worked through material, as I sat in on staff meetings, Bible studies and sermon prep, I started to learn the gospel. It wasn’t until I read Tim Keller’s book Prayer, however, that I came to a true knowledge of what Christianity is. I came to see that Jesus lived the life I should have lived, died the death I should have died, and opened the way for me to be loved by God. As soon as I heard it, that truth became sweet to me. And, to be honest, I’ve never looked back. Christian life is not easy, but in my eyes, it’s the only way to be that deserves the name “life”.