Ephesians 5:21-6:4 Family Relationships
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
We just covered how we are to walk in the light of Messiah Yeshua and love one another in the same manned as Adonai has loved us.
Today Sha’ul will cover the marriage relationship, and how it is supposed to be a reflection of the relationship between Messiah and the congregation. And finally, how the relationship should be between and parents, especially fathers.
Let’s read Ephesians 5:21-6:4
Also submit yourselves to one another out of reverence for Messiah— wives to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as Messiah also is head of His community—Himself the Savior of the body. But as Messiah’s community is submitted to Messiah, so also the wives to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Messiah also loved His community and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, having cleansed her by immersion in the word. Messiah did this so that He might present to Himself His glorious community—not having stain or wrinkle or any such thing, but in order that she might be holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it—just as Messiah also does His community, because we are members of His body. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is great—but I am talking about Messiah and His community. In any case, let each of you love his own wife as himself, and let the wife respect her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise), “so that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Submit Yourselves to One Another
Submit Yourselves to One Another
This entire section starts out with this command to submit ourselves to one another. In addition, this command to submit to each other is supposed to be “out of reverence for Messiah.”
This is serious. The word here for reverence is also translated as “fear” and is similar to the passage in Prov. 1:7-9
The fear of Adonai is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and forsake not your mother’s teaching. For they are a garland of grace for your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
Wives
Wives
The first direction is for wives. Firstly, we see that the submission described here is only between a wife and her own husband. There is no command in Scripture that calls for all women to be subservient to all men. This submission of a wife to her husband, in no way lessens her value, it is simply a matter of a role distinction within the family. Also we see that this submission is supposed to be done as an act of worship to Adonai. “As unto the Lord.”
Yeshua also points out what proper leadership looks like in Lk. 22:24-27
But there was also a quarrel among them about which of them is considered the greatest. And Yeshua said to them, “The kings of the nations have mastery over them, and those exercising authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ But with you, it is not so. Rather, let the one who is greatest among you become like the youngest, and the one who leads like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who reclines or the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines? But I am among you as one who serves.
As followers of Yeshua, we are called to be submitted to Him. What does this look like? Well, in Lk. 9:23-24
Then Yeshua was saying to everyone, “If anyone wants to follow Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross every day, and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.
There will be things that Yeshua calls you to, that go against what you want to do. At that point you will need to choose, my will, or His will. Now when this comes to easy things like praying for the sick, and loving lovely people, it is easy.
But what about difficult things? What about laying down a career that you love, because that career begins to require you to go along with things that God disagrees with? Or what about loving people who are difficult, or what about loving your enemies? Or simply loving those who do not love us in return?
Now Wives, I hope your husband is not difficult, or your enemy, but I do know that in some cases your husband is not a believer. And this certainly makes it difficult to submit. However this is why Sha’ul says that the submission is as “unto the Lord.” 1 Cor. 7:16
For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
As a note I want to quote from William Klein:
We will see that Paul gives no place for arrogant, egocentric, or power-grabbing husbands to abuse their wives’ submission. Yet, even where a husband does not act Christianly (or perhaps is not a Christian), Paul gives no warrant for the wife to refuse to submit - again unless to do so would involve sin, abuse, or similar exceptions.
Husbands
Husbands
Now as for the husbands, I am not sure if you noticed, but there are twice as many verses for the husbands as there are for the wives. As husbands we are called to love our wives, and not just romantically, but the type of love we are called to is the sacrificial laying down of our lives for our wives.
Not all of us may have had a great natural examples this relationship, but we all have an incredible example in Yeshua. It is true that Yeshua is the leader of the Congregation, but what sort of leader was he? At his final Passover Yeshua demonstrated this in John 13:1-17
Now it was just before the feast of Passover. Yeshua knew that His hour had come to depart from this world to the Father. Having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them until the end. While the seder meal was happening, the devil had already put in the heart of Judah from Kriot that he should hand over Yeshua. Yeshua knew that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was returning to God. So He gets up from the meal and lays aside His outer garment; and taking a towel, He wrapped it around His waist. Then He pours water into a basin. He began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel wrapped around Him. Then He comes to Simon Peter, who says to Him, “Master, are You going to wash my feet?” Yeshua responded, “You don’t know what I am doing now, but you will understand after these things.” Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!” Yeshua answered him, “If I don’t wash you, you have no part with Me.” Simon Peter said to Him, “Master, then not only my feet, but also my hands and my head!” Yeshua said to him, “He who has bathed has no need to wash, except the feet; he is completely clean. And you all are clean, though not every one.” He knew who was betraying Him; for this reason, He said, “Not all of you are clean.” So after He had washed their feet and put His robe back on and reclined again, He said to them, “Do you understand what I have done for you? You call Me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Master’—and rightly you say, for I am. So if I, your Master and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example—you should do for each other what I have done for you. “Amen, amen I tell you, a servant isn’t greater than his master, and the one who is sent isn’t greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them!”
Now Husbands do we serve our wives like this? Not to gain something, but simply to prefer our wives in love?
Sha’ul then continues in Ephesians 5:27 to point out a greater truth, and that is that “Messiah did this so that He might present to Himself His glorious community—not having stain or wrinkle or any such thing, but in order that she might be holy and blameless.”
Yeshua is still working in all of our lives to make us all holy and blameless. We are all a work in progress, and He who started this work in our lives is faithful and just and will complete it.
And in the same way, Husbands should love their wives, just as Yeshua has demonstrated love for us through His self-sacrifice. William Klein makes an important point by writing:
In short, a husband’s role as “head” does not entail seeing what demands he can make on his wife, but discovering how he can love her sacrificially for her benefit. His authority exists for service and not for prestige, for his own advantage or so he can get his own way. And as before, Paul commands husbands to respond as Christians without regard to their circumstances. A husband must be faithful to love his wife, whether or not his wife submits to his headship.
As a final note on husbands and wives, the marriage relationship is supposed to mirror the relationship between Yeshua and the believing community. Let us strive to represent God to the world through our marriages.
Children
Children
For all the children, there is a simply command to obey your parents. This is based upon the 5th commandment that was given at Mount Sinai to Moses. Paul points out that this is actually the first commandment with a promise.
How many of you kids want to have a long life? How many of you kids want life to go well for you?
Well, Adonai states that all you need to do is to honor your father and mother. Paul clarifies that this means obeying your parents in the lord. Sometimes this can be easy, and other times it can be hard, but in all cases you should choose to respect your parents just as you honor Yeshua.
Fathers
Fathers
There are two commands to fathers. The first is to not provoke your children to anger. Don’t stir them up, make fun of them, or do anything to deliberately anger them. Our words are very powerful. I remember Dr. James Dobson writing that it take 42 words of encouragement to make up for 1 word of criticism. We should do everything that we can to pour life and love into our children.
The second direction is that as fathers we are to discipline and instruct our children in the lord. Do not leave the discipline to your wives. The word discipline comes from the same root as disciple. As fathers, we need to see that our children are our #1 disciples. We need too do whatever it takes to model for them a life that follows Yeshua, to train them how to control their own anger, and to teach them about Adonai.
Some people when they hear the word discipline only think of punishment, but this is only a part. Punishment is necessary, but only when there are clearly defined boundaries. Discipleship includes much more, and needs to be seen as a lifestyle of pouring into our children, of encouraging them all the time, and demonstrating the character of Yeshua to our children through the fruit of the Spirit in our own lives.
Summary
Summary
All that we do within the family relationships must be based upon our submission to and reverence of Yeshua. The submission of wives to their husbands, should mirror our submission to Messiah; the love of husbands toward their wives should be modeled on the love that Yeshua demonstrated to us. The honor and obedience of children to their parents is the same as the honor and obedience that we show to God. Finally, fathers should disciple their children and lead their family toward Adonai, and demonstrate the love, compassion, and encouragement that Father God has shown to us.
Lets pray.