Biblical Submission & Maritial Manipulaton
I Do! Now What? • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Biblical Submission
In the Old Testament, priests were responsible to offer sacrifices, teach the people, serve as judges in resolving controversies, keep the fire burning on the altar, and keep the Tabernacle. The priest acted as a mediator, of sorts, between God and the people.
Aaron and his descendants, the designated Levites, were responsible for oversight in worship matters. In effect they were spiritual and practical guides for the nation.
So in a sense, husbands as acting priests, are to GUIDE their homes for God. God works through leadership channels in the home, and the church as well. The scriptural order is clearly laid out in Eph. 5:22-33.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.
Godly husbands are not Dictators, Diplomats, or Deadbeats. They are God’s designated spiritual leaders in their homes.
It is your assignment to search out a GOOD church and get involved. Find one that reflects your beliefs. Choose a church that is pure and powerful—one that feeds, fuels, and fertilizes your hunger for God.
Read and pray with your wife. Instruct your wife from the Scriptures. Share what you are learning. Take time to discuss the Bible.
Assist your wife in developing her God-given gifts and abilities. Be a model to her by utilizing and developing your spiritual gifts. Remember an ounce of example is better than a pound of advice.
Jewish men understood their responsibility to educate their families in the Law of God—
These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
It is clear that a man is to teach his family the Word of God and to be an example.
They are to love their wives the way Christ loves the church. How did Christ love the church? Not by being a dictator but being a servant. He loved the church enough to wash their feet, to lay down his life for her.
Christ’s example of a godly man in the home is to support their wives spiritually, financially, emotionally and intellectually.
Are we being the men in our home Christ has called us to be?
Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ.
Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold fast to the traditions just as I delivered them to you. But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.
That is the problem today…men want to be the controlling body in their home but they will not let Christ be Lord in their lives. Christ has to be the head of every man. Until men learn to submit to Christ’s Lordship, how is he expected to have his wife have biblical submission to him?
Marital Manipulation
Manipulation in the home is often ignored in today's churches or even worst swept under the rug by spiritual leaders.
Men I will hit on just a couple of manipulations that happen in the home. It could be you are doing these or having them happen to you. The ones I will hit on today is emotional, physical and spiritual manipulations.
Let me start with spiritual...
Spiritual abuse occurs when an oppressor establishes control and domination by using Bible verses, doctrine, or his “leadership role” as a weapon. This form of abuse can be subtle, because it can mask itself as religious practice. These are signs of spiritual abuse:
A husband exhibits control-oriented leadership over his wife.
Lords his power over her.
Demands submission from her.
Uses Scripture in shaming and punishing ways
When a spiritual abuser twists Scripture and uses it to attack, his religious abuse can feel as though it comes from God Himself through the Bible. Even though he is taking Scripture out of context, distorting it and weaponizing it, the oppressor is using God’s words — so it can seem as if God is the one doing the shaming.
Spiritual abuse is a close cousin to emotional abuse by definition, except it’s more profoundly wounding as it often leaves victims isolated from God. Since it uses God and His Word to dominate and scold, victims can find it hard to separate the abuse from their understanding of who God is or of how the Bible says He sees them.
When spiritually oppressive husbands use religious teachings to shame victims and to highlight their failure and guilt, they leave their victims cut off from the knowledge of how Jesus’ sacrifice makes them worthy and unites them to Him. People who are degraded by harsh teaching are left without hope and grace. They come to believe that they are worthless, because their spiritually oppressive husband’s focus remains on them and not on what Jesus has done.
Remember Christ loves the church and He showed it by being a servant to the church.
Emotional
Manipulating someone means that a person is using mental distortion and emotional exploitation to influence and control others. Their intent is to have power and control over others to get what they want.
As opposed to using direct communication, a person who behaves passive-aggressively doesn't express how they're really feeling. Your partner might use avoidance tactics, such as actively dodging you or dodging the discussion of certain topics. Sarcasm can be another sign of passive-aggressive communication.
For example, a person who is behaving passive-aggressively might try to get attention by making overly dramatic gestures—like sighing or pouting. They might use immature emotional reactions to bait you into asking them what's wrong without just coming out and saying it.
Another sign of emotional manipulation is if your partner withdraws from you. Maybe they give you the silent treatment if you are doing something they don't want you to do.
They might withhold information, affection, or even sex to "punish" you, even for something insignificant…or worst use it as a means of forced control.
Manipulation and other forms of emotional and physical abuse that you do not have to tolerate or accept from a spouse—or anyone else in your life. It is important to understand that manipulation is a form of emotional blackmail and learn how to respond.
Consider having an honest and direct conversation with your partner to address the manipulation. If you are being manipulated, you might name specific examples of their behavior and how it affects you. Be specific in describing the forms of manipulation and your feelings in response to them. If you are the manipulator, listen to your spouse. You maybe doing it without even realizing it.
Most of all, if it continues, seek professional help.
A fool’s way is right in his own eyes,
but whoever listens to counsel is wise.
