2024-04-28 Not What God Intended

Alright, we are continuing our series / / Misunderstood, where were are talking through all of the things that Jesus challenges his followers with in regards to laws from the Old Testament. The funny part is that he’s challenging the law after he says he’s come to accomplish it’s purpose. This is why he starts the conversation with the statement, / / Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved.

Those are really important words. And really important to understand what he then continues to say. As we looked at last week in talking about Anger and Revenge. The two “laws” that Jesus challenges are what?

/ / “You have heard that your ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder.’”

/ / “You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’”

And as we looked into it, we saw that what Jesus wanted was to deal with these things long before they became a problem. Yes, don’t murder, but let’s deal with your anger and hate so that you never need to worry about it. Yes, an eye for an eye might be fair, but let’s deal with your need for revenge so we never get to that place.

I won’t make you raise your hand if you’re saved, but I will ask you this, and feel free to raise your hand. Do any of you deal with anger, ever, at all, even in the slightest way?

Yes, of course we do. So why try to fool ourselves and deny that we still deal with a sinful nature. Until God does away with the roundabouts I’m going to have to deal with the potential of getting angry. It is what it is.

Here’s where I think we get really bent out of shape, is our understanding of the law. As soon as people hear law in Christianity there can be some pushback, because they want to live in grace and freedom. But that’s another misunderstanding: the law is not meant to condemn us, the law is meant to set us free.

Let’s read John 3:16-19, because this might help in understanding the law. We have to make this connection.

Reading from the ESV: / / “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.”

A few things to note here.

/ / Jesus did not come to condemn!

And believing in him removes the condemnation - which means the condemnation is not because we do not believe, but the condemnation was already there, and still is there because we do not believe.

You are not condemned by God because you do not believe. You are condemned by sin until you believe.

What does Paul say in Romans 6:23, / / For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

That’s basically John 3:16-19 backwards. Jesus, in John 3 starts with salvation, then says, because if you don’t believe, you’re already condemned by what you’ve done. Paul swings it around and says, Don’t you see, what you’ve done is what’s condemning you, and all you need to do to get free from what you’ve done is accept the free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ.

Go right back to the garden of Eden in Genesis. God says do not eat the fruit from this tree, because if you do, you will die.

Not, “If you do, I will punish you.”

and not, “if you do, I will kill you.”

But, If you eat the fruit from that tree, you will die.

So, what’s the instruction for? So that you don’t die!

The instruction is meant to lead to life. Or at the least, keep you alive!

Jump forward a few thousand years. This nation of an estimated million people, leaving 400 years of slavery in Egypt, and they don’t know how to govern themselves, they don’t know how to live a good life, they don’t know how to be free, because all they and their parents, and their grand parents, and their great grandparents and their great great grandparents have known is serving Egypt’s Pharaohs at the hands of their slave masters.

And they end up so bad at following the instructions that God gives them that they continually accept the gods of other nations and religions as their own and go as far as serving their children up as human sacrifice to those “gods”. God doesn’t need to condemn them, they’re doing a great job of it themselves!

So, Jesus didn’t come to abolish the law, because the law is still going to be helpful for you. But in the purpose of the law, that shows how we did things wrong, Jesus came to fulfill that purpose, to set us FREE from the effects of breaking the law, which is the wages of sin. Because let’s face it, As Paul says in Romans 3:10, quoting from Psalm 14, / / “No one is righteous - not even one.”

You have a rule that is there to protect you, you break it, you suffer a consequence. Now, I use the example often of making Kaylee mac’n’cheese. If I tell her not to touch the pot, but she does, and doesn’t listen to my instructions, she gets burned. I didn’t punish her, she just suffered a consequence of her disobedience. And I still come in to help her. But here’s where that analogy, as good as it is, falls short. What if the consequence for our actions isn’t just a momentary burn, but it’s death?

God says it in the garden - this action leads to death.

Paul says it of all sin - this action leads to death.

Jesus gives the solution - God so loved the world he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

But also, if you touch the pot, you’ll burn yourself, and I don’t want you to just enjoy eternity with me after you die, John 10:10 says I came that you might have a rich and satisfying life, which is in the here and now. So he doesn’t invite us to “believe” in our heads, but he invites us to “follow” with our lives because he wants to lead us to life.

Don’t murder. Great rule. I still like that one. But let’s go one further, because I want you to have a really good life. Don’t hold on to anger. Don’t hold on to hate. Don’t hold on to revenge. Those will corrupt you, rob from you, they will ruin your life, PLUS they have the potential to cause you to murder, which would be real bad.

So, today we’re going to continue this journey through Jesus bringing some additional thoughts and maybe some corrections about how the people had misunderstood the law. Specifically we are going to be talking about marriage, adultery and divorce. But listen, if you’re single, a lot of what we talking through is going to apply to your life as well, so don’t tune out, ok.

Of course we are in the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5-7 and for this Misunderstood series we are in Matthew 5:17-48. Today we’re going to read Matthew 5:27-30, which is on adultery, and Matthew 5:31-32, which is on divorce.

Let’s jump in. First he talks about adultery:

/ / “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye - even your good eye - causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand - even your stronger hand - causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

Then he continues further on divorce:

/ / “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.”

Ok, the first thing I want to clarify here is that I do not believe this is a gender specific conversation. Jesus is not just talking to the men in the room like we are the only one’s who fall into lust or want to get divorced. This is a bigger conversation than that. And some people will argue vehemently that it specifically says men here, or women there, and I will offer this as a thought on it.

How many people did Jesus feed with the 5 loaves and 2 fish? Five Thousand, right? Except…no. Matthew 14:21 says this, / / The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.

Why were the women and children not counted? There’s a couple possible reasons. In the Old Testament we see different counts of people. Sometimes a census was called to count all of Israel, and sometimes only males that were old enough to be eligible for military duty - in that case women and children would have been left out.

Another reason is that this is a sign of the times. What do I mean by that? Well, we don’t need to go to into it, but we believe that the bible is the inspired word of God. 2 Timothy 3 talks about this. But what does inspired me? Different understandings of that have been presented over the last 2000 years, everything from the Holy Spirit literally taking over the person and writing, to the other extreme where the Holy Spirit gives the person what to write and they do whatever they want with it.

Here’s where I stand on the matter. The Holy Spirit inspired people to write scripture, and those who did were faithful and true followers of God, so they handled that inspiration as best as they could, while also being human at a certain time, in a certain place. The bible was written with the words given by God, by human beings who are subject to time, influence and understanding.

Take every vision in the bible. The person is writing how they saw the vision. Think of me and you. If we go to a movie, what happens? One part will stand out to me, one will stand out to you, and depending on how descriptive and detailed we are will have an impact on what we share and how we share it.

So, one of the problems we have is that some people argue that the bible is this misogynistic, patriarchal, book written only by men that excludes women. But what if, and I say this with as much humility and with the understanding I currently have in my life and what I believe God has revealed through Scripture, what if Matthew, Mark, and Luke, all who wrote about the 5000 being fed, grew up in a time and space where women weren’t given the attention God wanted, that children also were looked at in a similar way, not that they were out for women or didn’t like them, but that the way they were treated was informed by their current world view, which didn’t include them in these types of things, so when it came to writing about it, they were subject to their current understanding.

Jesus didn’t count the people and then say, “Hey, guys, write down 20,000” and they were like, “NO, we’re not counting the women and children!”

No, Jesus did a miracle, and these guys wrote about it and the very fact that Matthew says, “five thousand not counting women and children” is more than most would have said.

Another example. In John 8 there’s the story of the woman caught in adultery. All I will bring up on this is that one of the major crimes in this story is that only the woman was brought. These pharisees bring this woman who is “caught in adultery” and throw her before Jesus. Where’s the guy she was supposedly caught in adultery with? Is he off the hook?

/ / To read scripture faithfully is to understand the time, place and atmosphere it was written in.

My point in all of this. If they only count the 5000 men for the miracle, and if the man caught in adultery isn’t even brought before Jesus, that Jesus knows who needs to hear the message, but also, knows that everyone is hearing it?

So, all of that is my basis for reading Matthew 5:27-32, Jesus instruction on adultery and divorce, and reading it as faithfully as I can to include both men and women, who naturally, if you haven’t noticed, both suffer from the effects of sin, both are prone to adultery, and both have asked to file for divorce for various reasons.

So, let’s talk about it.

/ / “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

This is similar to what we talked about last week. The law says don’t murder, but Jesus says don’t even let yourself hold on to anger and hatred. Why? Because you’re missing the mark long before you kill someone. A whole lot can happen between anger and murder that destroys relationships, and the whole point of the law and instruction of God is to lead us to life!

So, don’t commit adultery, maybe I don’t need to define it, but just so we’re clear. A married person having relations with someone who is not their spouse.

Don’t do it.

Why? Is it because it’s a sin, because it’s bad, because it’s evil? Well, maybe and yes to all of those things, but what’s the purpose of the law? Life, right? Deuteronomy 30:19, oh that you would choose life.

The Law and Jesus agree, Adultery does not produce life! So don’t commit adultery because it’s going to ruin your relationship with your spouse, it’s going to ruin your relationship with your family, if you have kids it’s going to mess things up, your friends and extended family might have some issue with you doing it, your church and religious community might and should have some issue with it, and you will end up living in secrecy and darkness which is just simply no way to live.

Now, hear me on this, if you are here with us or online with us this morning, or you’re watching this at some later point and you are caught in the darkness and secrecy of adultery. You are not beyond redemption. But you gotta stop, and you need to repent, meaning, change the way you think, meaning make right with God and your spouse. It is going to rob, steal and destroy. And God has such a better plan for your life.

Living with hidden sin is terrible. And the enemy will use it, just like he did in the garden, to heap shame on you and both destroy your earthly relationships, and keep you out of relationship with God.

There is just zero benefit to having a relationship of this nature outside of your marriage. So this is a good law to have and live by.

But then Jesus says, / / But I say… and we know what that means, he’s about to bring this to a whole other level.

/ / But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Ok, so first a reminder that we assuming we are talking to both men and women here, and second, you have to know what’s being said here so #1 you can follow it, and #2 you don’t go crazy.

Jesus says, “anyone who even looks at a woman WITH LUST…”

/ / look + lust

Look means that something has grabbed your attention. It’s you intentionally giving something your attention with your eyes. If I say to my daughter, “Look over here.” I am telling her to fix her eyes where I’m directing.

Same way, if you look at someone, you are intentionally giving your attention to that person.

We do that all day everyday. BUT…

+ lust. means to desire or yearn for. This is defined as referring to desires that are associated with affections. Affection meaning you have a gentle desire for something, you like something, and desire meaning a strong feeling of wanting something or wishing for something. So affections are the things we like, desires are our strong feelings of wanting that thing we like. Lust is taking those two things to the extreme and setting our mind, will and emotions toward it.

So, what’s Jesus saying, If you intentionally focus on someone and internally allow those desires to flourish in your heart and mind, you’re already committing adultery in your heart.

What Jesus is NOT saying is, “If you see someone and think they are attractive, you’ve just sinned.”

He’s not saying that.

Again, this is why we have to look biblically at this:

The bible talks quite a bit about the desire of the flesh, or lust, whatever you want to call it. A lot about not getting caught in sin.

But Paul matches Jesus teaching in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, / / For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your disobedience is complete.

Now, you know I’m big on context. So I’ll clarify. Paul isn’t specifically speaking about lust, or adultery, or sexual sin, or even sin primarily. He’s talking about the conflict of ideas when it comes to the truth of the gospel, and what people were saying. He warns about this in other letters as well. A prime example is Romans 16:17, he says, / / Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people’s faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them.

However. In this little thought in 2 Corinthians, he is giving a huge insight into the battle we wage in our minds, and obviously this is important because Jesus says we can find ourselves sinning in the same way as actually acting things out physically by simply entertaining them and engaging with them in our minds!

So Paul says, / / …take every thought captive to obey Christ…

One of the great Christian fathers, Augustine, or St. Augustine proposed that sin was a journey, a three stage journey actually. And I’ve mentioned this before, but this is a great way of thinking and also keeping in line our thoughts and actions.

The three stages of sin that Augustine suggests are:

/ / Stage 1: Concupiscence

What he’s talking about here is your 5 senses being activated in some way toward something that you like. Remember what we talked about, there’s what we like and desire, or our affections, and something is waking up one of our senses, sight, smell, taste, touch, hearing. We recognize something as potentially giving us delight. That’s it. You smell a pizza…mmmm… you a see a beautiful woman, a handsome man… you hear some good music… you get the idea. Think of the way we would describe it…something has “grabbed” your attention. It’s coming after your attention.

/ / Stage 2: Contemplation, Augustine believed this took place in the heart. Now we know more now about the heart and brain/mind connection, but this is where the mind wants to dwell on the idea presented. Something was trying to grab your attention, and it has succeeded. You can’t stop thinking about it. And it’s not just that you recognized it, but now you’re entertaining the thought.

/ / Stage 3: Consent of the will. This is when the “physical “act of sin actually takes place. I say physical act, because what Jesus is saying is that before this point, you’ve already done it.

What Jesus is saying, what Paul is saying, is that you have to take seriously these things at stage 1 so that you never end up at stage 2 or 3.

Stage one is simply your senses being peaked. And I want to broaden this for a second. As I said earlier, whether you are married or not this is relevant. If you think of the word adultery, the Old Testament uses it often in regard to the relationship between Israel and God, between their obedience and disobedience. So it’s not just “adultery”, and I think everyone listening to Jesus talk would’ve recognized that yes, he’s talking to married people here, but also, we all know what he’s saying.

So, stage 1, whether that is looking at someone or something and desiring it, whether that is smelling something and desiring it, tasting something and desiring it, think of that in the sense of an addict - in recovery we often say that you can’t have 1 because one will never be enough - the war of addiction is always against that 1. Something is trying to grab your attention.

Ever get a craving and can’t seem to shake it and you just know it’s not going to go away until you satisfy that craving?

Now you’re getting the idea.

So Paul says, at this point, right here, when the invitation presents itself. In the case of adultery, the really good looking person walks by your cubical and gives you a wink, or a nod or a little hello… and your brain goes, “Huh, what do we think of that…”

And I don’t want to stereotype too hard here, but in the case of men it’s mostly physical, and in the case of women, and of course, generalizing here, it’s an emotional connection. So, that might not be someone walking by, it might be someone paying attention to you, or really listening to you, or sharing a similar thought or emotional response. The connection can be different.

Either way, whatever that thought is, what is Paul telling us to do? “Gonna take that captive, and make it bow down to Christ. I will not entertain that. I will not let my mind fixate on that. I will not go down that road. I take that thought and place it precisely at the foot of the cross where it can die. Jesus, work in my mind and in my heart. Remove any wickedness from me, and put in me a clean heart.”

David prayed in Psalm 51, God, create in me a clean heart. Give me a loyal Spirit!

And David was worried that God might take the presence of the Spirit from him, but we know and have assurance that the Holy Spirit is right here with us. So add that. I invite your presence, your Spirit, to be with me right now. Remind me and restore in my heart the joy of your saving grace, and give me courage and confidence to obey you and seek you and stay true to your word!

You’re taking every thought captive. Why? Because from thought, Augustine says we will move to contemplation, and contemplation is where Jesus is saying you’ve already committed adultery. This is the craving that won’t go away until you satisfy it. Augustine would say, this is where the mind delights in the sense that was impressed upon it, and stays with it, rather than referring it to God, it’s Creator.

Why would Jesus go there? You haven’t actually sinned. You haven’t actually acted on it. How can that be wrong? I’m being quite good, thank you very much.

Here’s why, because you’ve already lost at this point.

Remember, following the law and follow Jesus both lead to life. Jesus wants you to experience life.

The last thing Jesus does here is goes to the absolute extreme to try and get you to see how much this is going to rob from you.

He says, “If your eye causes you to lust, gouge it out. If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. Better to be blind and handless than rot in hell.”

When Jesus says lust and sin there it’s the same word and it means, to trip up. If your eye or your hand causes you to trip up, to stumble, to be enticed to sin… you’re better without it.

Now, Jesus is very clearly not telling people to gouge out their eyes and cut off their hands. The whole world would be blind and handless if that were the case. N.T. Wright says of this scripture, / / “The …answer…is clear. Deal ruthlessly with the first signs of lust. Plucking out eyes and cutting off hands are deliberate exaggerations, but they make the point very forcibly. Don’t suppose that Jesus means you must never feel the impulse of lust when you look at someone attractive. That would be impossible, and is not in any case what the words mean. What he commands us to avoid is the gaze, and the lustful imagination, that follow the initial impulse.”

Sounds very much like Augustine’s three stages. Stop it at stage one by taking that thought captive to the obedience of Christ. And in the same way you might cut off your hand to stop you from sinning, cut off the thought. And if you have things in your life that are causing you to sin, cut them off. Maybe you need to leave your phone out on the dining room table instead of taking it to bed with you at night. Maybe you need to cancel cable, limit internet use, stop intentionally spending time with certain people that are drawing your affections. Jesus is very serious about this. The intention of the heart can get you burned.

Do you see what Jesus is doing here. He’s done it with murder, revenge, adultery. There is what the law says, but I’m telling you if you don’t stop these things long before that point, you are at risk of ending up there. So let’s catch these things early.

And then he switches to divorce. When it comes to divorce in the New Testament, or at least when Jesus talks about it, there are some things that he says that are specifically toward how the law was wrongly being interpreted, that aren’t quite as relevant for us today.

But, divorce is brought up a few times in the New Testament.

In Mark 10:2-12 the pharisees come to Jesus and ask if a man is allowed to divorce his wife. Now, this story is a great example of what I was saying earlier about Jesus talking to both men and women.

So, the Pharisees ask Jesus the question, and actually they are trying to trick him into answering in a way that would get him in trouble. But Jesus is smart, and he turns it back on them and says, / / “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?” and they respond, “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”

Listen to Jesus response to this, / / “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united in one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

Jesus quotes the book of Genesis chapter 2, right at the very beginning when God creates Adam & Eve in the garden of Eden.

And look at what he points to. The hardness of their hearts.

But then when he’s alone with his disciples, he says this to them. / / “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”

Ok, so he’s not just talking to men, he’s talking to both men and women.

Now, I will give you my understanding of Scripture and the heart of God on the matter of divorce. I think it might not be as much about divorce as it is about the heart.

Matthew 19 is a parallel to what we read in Mark, and Matthew records it a bit differently. He says in Matthew 19:8, / / “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended.”

Divorce isn’t what God intended. God intended that you follow God and marry the right person and live happily ever after. Sure, there’s ups and downs and turns and all kinds of problems we run into. But if you want to know what God intended, meaning, what God wants for his children. He wants them to be happily married to one person for the duration of their lives.

That’s not to put anyone or any situation down. It’s just what God intended. It’s the best case scenario.

But there’s some problems, aren’t there?

First, hard hearts. They get in the way.

Another would be the first part of this message “adultery’. Right? Probably not hard to see why Jesus talks about divorce right after he talks about adultery. Stop your wandering eyes and mind early so you can focus on your marriage.

N.T. Wright makes this comment, and we’ll be looking at this next week, but the teaching right after the one on divorce is on keeping your vows and not lying. Another HUGE one when it comes to marriage. Don’t keep secrets, don’t tell lies, follow through on what you’ve promised. More on that next week.

In the Old Testament, the prophet Malachi, says this, Malachi 2:14-16, / / You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.

Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

Ok, I don’t have a problem with this verse, but I have a very big problem with how it’s been used. And I’m just going to call it for what it is, this scripture has been used to spiritually abuse people who have gone through the horrible reality of divorce.

I would say of marriage and divorce the same thing I said of anger and murder last week, I don’t think anybody gets married with the intention of being unfaithful. Now, some people are unfaithful before they get married - that’s a separate issue. I might say no one in their right mind and heart, gets married thinking about these things. Or thinking about getting divorced.

But, that doesn’t change what this scripture says, and it doesn’t change the heart of God.

God does hate divorce. God does NOT hate you for getting divorced. God doesn’t love you less, or stop loving you, or want to punish you for getting divorced. It’s the divorce that God hates.

Why? Because divorce is usually the result of a broken marriage with broken people, or hurting people, or hurt people, abused people, sad people, and divorce is the finality of a broken marriage. It didn’t work. And what did God intend? For it to work. He wanted for you the best marriage possible, and it breaks his heart that this wasn’t what happened for you.

And for some you can look and say, “This was your fault, you were the abusive one, you were not nice, you were broken and the other person couldn’t live with that.” For others it’s “You were unfaithful, and the other person walked away.” Sometimes it’s, “We didn’t think this through, we aren’t compatible long term.” or “We just don’t want to work hard.” I mean, we could sit here and call out all the reasons people get divorced, from reasons that shouldn’t have caused divorce all the way to people needing to get out of a marriage for the safety of their kids and their own lives.

God hates divorce because of the broken and hard heartedness of humanity that hurt each other and get them to the point of divorce.

God hates divorce. But here’s what God also hates:

abuse, loveless marriages, brokenness, infidelity, adultery, financial problems, lack of commitment, violence, emotional, spiritual, physical abuse, lack of intimacy, lack of communication, addiction, conflict, arguments…. God hates all of those things too.

Why? Because it hurts the very humanity he loves.

So Jesus challenges this thought, “You’ve heard you can divorce by just giving your wife a notice of divorce,”

He was quoting from Deuteronomy 24:1

And he wraps it up with… “but I say you’re breaking what I intended for a blessing. And if you’re divorcing without cause, it’s just like you’re committing adultery.”

Now, that doesn’t even touch all the reasons people do get divorced for very real and legitimate reasons. I said this earlier, we have to remember in biblical interpretation that the time and place and people matter. The law was to the nation of Israel, God’s chosen people at a time where he was establishing for them the way to live. And then, like this verse, Moses was making concessions, as Jesus says, because of their inability to follow the law the way they should.

Jesus is now talking to the people of Israel, and also inviting the gentiles to follow him into a better way of living, a kingdom way of living, a way that leads to life and life more abundant, so he is challenging these things.

That is not the world we live in. Not ancient Israel recently freed from slavery and establishing a new way of living in a new nation of our own. Nor are we living 2000 years ago being the people of God re-finding their love for Him by following the rabbi Jesus.

No, we are living in a world that is considered “post-christian” by some, where Christian morality and ethics are looked at as strange and unnecessary, where marriage isn’t regarded as highly as it once was, people will just live together, sleep together, date whoever they want and move on, or get married without really having an internal commitment for life. The idea of divorce is a back up plan if the marriage doesn’t work.

That’s the world we live in. Statistically speaking about 50% of marriages now end in divorce. And sadly, second and third marriages actually fail at an even higher rate.

So the conversation Jesus has about divorce is just as relevant today as it was back then, but here’s the thing, not as a way of guilt and shame because you may have been divorced, but because of what He says in Matthew 19:8, / / it was not what God had originally intended.

So let’s end with this thought, from both our look at adultery and divorce by not talking about adultery or divorce…

Marriage is worth fighting for.

Marriage is worth working on.

Whether you are on your first, second, third, fourth marriage, wherever you are at, bring yourself back to what God originally intended, that you are healthy, happy and whole in your marriage.

You might be beyond repair on your first marriage, or it may be unhealthy for you to go back there. I do not believe God would ever send someone back to a loveless or abusive marriage. That’s abuse in of itself and not God’s heart.

But let’s pull from what God says in Malachi, yes, the I hate divorce part has been taken out of context and used to keep people at a distance from God, and that is wrong, and if you have ever experienced that, at the hands of church leadership or church members, I apologize. I am so sorry. Let me stand in as a leader in your life and say I am sorry. And ask God to help you find a place where you can forgive those who have hurt you. I hope you can. and I hope it’s not holding you back from the life Jesus is wanting to lead you into.

Second, like I said, wherever you are at. That’s the soil you need to work on. Your own, and your household.

Malachi says on two different parts. / / So guard your heart; remain loyal to your [spouse]. and again he says, / / so guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your [spouse]

Two separate things:

/ / Be loyal.

Don’t be unfaithful.

Being loyal means doing the right thing. Intentionally. Work on your marriage, make it the best marriage you possibly can be being the best, most healed, Jesus following person you can be.

Choosing NOT to be unfaithful, is intentionally taking every thought captive. It is noticing the distractions and deterrents early and choosing to put them at the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ and asking Him for his grace to cover you! Command your thoughts to obey Christ. Be aware that we live in a world that parades lust everywhere. The enemy is playing that game hard. And humanity thinks it’s fun, it’s a game, sex is used as power. Don’t fall for that game. Be singularly focused on Jesus, be singularly focused on your spouse, and throw everything else at the foot of the cross where it has to die. Take thoughts captive and command them to obey Christ!

And here’s the thing. You have to take both of these things. A good marriage isn’t just avoiding doing wrong. It’s found in intentionally doing what is right. Just like our walk with Jesus, it’s not about trying to avoid sin as much as it’s about intentionally choosing to follow Jesus.

Guess what. God intended for us to have great marriages.

In fact, when people look at marriages within the church what they SHOULD see is healthy, vibrant, God focused, Jesus following, Holy Spirit filled people in healthy marriages, because that’s what God intended. And if that has not been your experience, God has healing and wholeness for you, no matter what stage of life you are in.