Untitled Sermon (4)

Encouragement

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Encouragement is: Taking the time to urge someone on towards their goal; helping them become more determined, hopeful, or confident.

Encouragement is helping someone to persevere.

The opposite of encouragement is discouragement. Discouragement can cause someone to lose their confidence, motivation, or enthusiasm.

Encouragement sounds like: I know you can make it! Don't give up!

I believe in you. You've got this!

Share Your Story- Remember a time when God or another person gave YOU encouragement. How did they encourage or urge you toward a goal or dream? How did they cheer you on or help you persevere?

Luke 22:31–34 (ESV)

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.”

John 21:15–19 (ESV)

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.”

Peter was discouraged. Jesus encouraged Peter with his restoration.

We all have a need for encouragement, but we also have personal ways we like for others to show it. Here are five unique dimensions of encouragement. Which one of these is most important to you?

Try to anticipate times and situations where I may be discouraged so that you can cheer me on and help me keep going. 

Go out of your way to call, write, or visit me when I am discouraged, deflated, down, disappointed, or struggling. 

Encourage me to develop a positive vision and realistic goals, then share words that let me know you believe me or practical help for my journey. 

Saying words like, "Just do your best. You've got what it takes!"

Tell me that you have hope for good things in my future.

Experience Hebrews 10:24 as a lifestyle of giving others Encouragement.

Hebrews 10:24 (ESV)

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,

Listen for discouragement: “I just can’t do this.” “I can’t do anything right.” “Will anything ever go my way?”

Give Encouragement

Encourage your spouse, children, and friends to live productive lives by helping them to develop God-inspired plans and goals and actively assisting them in reaching those goals. If they are already goal-oriented, learn what their goals are and help them to succeed. 

Recognize when others are discouraged and give encouragement to them. Listen closely for verbal evidence of discouragement, including statements such as, "I will never be able to...**I just can't. "or "It's no use." Respond with caring, comforting words such as, "It hurts me to hear you say that" or *I am sad that you are feeling this way." Then offer a few words that will build them up, such as: "I believe in you" or "I know that you can do this."

Encouragement can be given through a phone call, a card or letter, or a personal visit. Make it a habit to perform several encouraging gestures each day.

Let people know that you are praying for them. Most will be greatly encouraged by your prayers. It is often particularly effective to pray for discouraged people right on the spot as opposed to simply saying, "I will be praying for you." 

When others are discouraged, have them over for a meal, invite them to see a movie, or spend a day out together. Often, a simple change of routine, along with meaningful companionship, can lift a person's spirits and Encourage their heart.

Respect

1 Peter 2:17 (NIV)

Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.

Jesus ignored many of the prejudices of His day when He showed respect to tax collectors, Samaritans, the poor, lepers, and women. He treated all people according to their infinite value, regardless of their background or social standing. God considered all of us to be of such great worth that He sacrificed His only Son so that we could be redeemed. God demonstrates respect for our individuality and freedom because He allows us to decide whether we respond to Him in obedience.

Respect is treating people as important and regarding them with great value, honoring others with your words and actions.

The opposite of respect is disrespect, to undervalue, or abuse.

Respect includes using an appropriate tone of voice, apologizing when you have done something wrong or messed up. It includes listening without interrupting or checking with someone before making plans that affect them. It sounds like: I'd like to hear your ideas. What do you prefer? I was wrong. Will you forgive me?

Here is what respect is NOT. It's not being rude or disrespectful. It's not interrupting, being mean or sarcastic. Respect also does not include being late, taking other's things without asking, or treating others as less important than yourself.

Remember a time when YOU felt most respected.

Luke 17:11–19 (ESV)

On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”

Jesus restored these lepers’ dignity.

Which Aspect of Respect is Most Important to You:

We all have a need for respect, but we also have personal ways we like for others to show it. Here are five unique dimensions of respect. Which one of these is most important to you?

Check in with me before making a decision that affects me. 

Give me a chance to share my ideas, opinion, and perspective. 

Respect my property, privacy, and time. 

Treat everyone with dignity and value regardless of any differences.

Talk to me with a respectful tone of voice, be careful to listen without interrupting. Apologize without defensiveness.

Listen for the need: “Can I tell you what I think?” “You always make all the decisions.”

Give Respect

Romans 12:10 (ESV)

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Before making a important decision that will impact other people, take time to discuss the matter with them. For instance, husbands and wives should discuss business commitments, trips, house guests, major expenditures, and other significant issues before any commitments are made. Likewise, parents should discuss with each other (and even with older children) issues such as household chores and disciplinary procedures.

Ask others to share their ideas and give their input and, whenever possible and appropriate, defer to their opinions. For example, rather than telling your family where they are going on vacation, ask them where they would like to go. Instead of handing down orders to your employees, allow them to be involved in the decision- making process.

Respect the property, privacy, and personal preferences of those around you. If you borrow a friend's car, return it in better shape than you received it. When you are visiting someone's home or office, show proper respect for his or her preferences regarding how it is kept. Honor other people's privacy: allow your spouse to enjoy needed times of solitude, knock before entering your child's room, and ask before sitting at a co-worker's desk or looking through another per son's belongings.

Respect other people's time by being prompt for appointments. Being late and making others wait on us indicates a measure of disrespect for their schedule and effectively robs them of a valuable commodity.

Eliminate all prejudices related to the issues of race, ethnicity, gender, and socio-economic standing. Any such form of cultural bias or favoritism completely undermines Respect.

Security

Romans 14:19 (ESV)

So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Security is: Harmony in relationships, freedom from fear, the threat of harm, or abandonment.

Security includes physical security (freedom from the fear of harm), financial security (reassurance of food, money, and resources), and emotional security (being able to count on certain relationships to consistently meet needs and keep promises).

The opposite of security is insecurity or threat. Insecurity can cause a person to have fear about current and future relationships.

Security sounds like: I'm here for you. We're going to work this out. I want to reassure you that… I’ve got you! I am going to keep my promise.

Security is NOT leaving an argument unresolved. Security is NOT displaying outbursts of anger or moodiness in the relationship.

It is NOT making impulsive decisions and not being dependable, especially when it affects your closest relationships. It is NOT trying to control others because you are afraid or uncertain.

God provides for our security:

Proverbs 3:25–26 (ESV)

Do not be afraid of sudden terror or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.

Psalm 34:4 (ESV)

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.

Isaiah 43:1 (ESV)

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.

We all have a relational need for security, but we also have unique and personal ways we like for others to show it to us. Here are five unique dimensions of security. Which one of these aspects is most important to you?

With my closest relationships, I never like to wonder about where our relationship stands. I want us to be open and honest; I need the reassurance that both of us will share our true care or concerns.

If our relationship is strained, I need the confidence that it will be resolved quickly.

I need for people around me to be even-tempered, not moody or prone to outbursts of anger. It's very important that I don't have to fear others' accusations or criticism.

It's crucial that people make decisions that are based on my well-being, not just their own. I feel reassured when others are self-controlled, not making impulsive decisions that impact me.

I value consistency in how others relate. I feel reassured when others are dependable, keep promises, and I can count on them.

Listen for the need: “I just want a place I feel at home.” “I’m not sure if I can count on this person.” “I don’t feel safe.”

Giving Security

Seek to increase "relational Security" in your closest relationships. For example close friends should demonstrate a depth of commitment to each other that will prevail through "thick and thin."

Provide financial Security for those to whom you are responsible. As you become more responsible and get a job, it means operating on a budget, having a good work ethic, developing marketable skills, providing adequate income, and maintaining a savings account. 

Let people know that you are aware of their ongoing physical, spiritual, and relational needs and that you are committed to being used by God to help provide for those needs, both now and in the future. It is important to note that, though we may be satisfied when our needs are met in the present, we are truly Secure only when we know that our needs will also be met in the future.

Be consistent in how you relate to people. Extreme mood swings will undermine your ability to establish peace and Security in a relationship. If we are "up" one day and "down" the next, those close to us will always be wondering, "What is he going to be like today?" Emotional consistency breeds feelings of Security. 

Develop self-control, especially with regard to your emotions. A quick temper will hinder others from experiencing Security in their relationships with you.

Keep your promises. Always do the things you have committed to doing. Let your yes be yes and your no no.

Support

Galatians 6:2 (ESV)

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Jesus frequently provided support to people who were struggling. His first miracle solved a practical problem by turning water into wine (John

2:1-11). Jesus came alongside more than 5,000 people who were struggling to find food (Matthew 14:13-21). One of Christ's most famous parables describes the good Samaritan's practical help for his fellow man and calls us to provide this same support to others (Luke 10:25-37).

Support is: Coming alongside another person and helping them with a problem or a struggle.

Support includes helping someone with a big project, taking time to teach or mentor someone in how to do a task, showing them how, or just doing something hard TOGETHER. It sounds like: I'm glad to help, just let me know what's needed. Let's try the first step together. How can I pitch in?

Support is not completing a task for another person. It's also not leaving someone alone with their problem or struggle.

We all have a need for support, but we also have unique and personal ways we like for others to show it. Here are five unique dimensions of support. Which one of these is most important to you?

Offer practical help to me when I'm struggling or overwhelmed.

Ask me about the best way you can help me. 

Attend my concerts, sporting events, family events, weddings, or funerals, etc., to show your care and support of me.

Offer to support me by introducing me to new people or helping me think of resources, ideas, or solutions.

Adapt your plans or schedule to be with me when I am struggling.

Listen for the need: “I can’t do it by myself.” “I’m not sure how I’m going to get this done on time.”

Giving Support

Live It at Home or With Close Friends

Becoming a supportive person means showing support in all relationships. Galatians 6:2 reminds to "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Let's be intentional this week to show support in each aspect of our lives. Show You Care with Friends: Ask one of your friends if you can support them by attending a special event. "Do you have any special events coming up? I'd love to support you by going along Create a coupon book for your friends. Fill it with redeemable acts of support (le.,"Good for one house cleaning." Or "Good for one free car wash.")

Show You Care with Family: Teach/mentor your child in a life skill. (le., change a tire, check the oil, cook a simple meal, etc.). Help your child do their homework or finish a project for school if they're feeling overwhelmed,

Ask your spouse or family member if they have any chores around the house that you could check off their list.

Live It Out In Your Community

Show You Care with Co-workers:

When a colleague is struggling to meet a goal or get something done, offer to help out or pitch in. Look for other resources or people that might make their job easier and share those with your co-worker.

Show You Care in the Community

Look for ways to support or sponsor events and activities that others are involved in. "When is your fundraiser event? I would like to attend and post about it online. Offer to help someone with grocery shopping or yard work. Help at a volunteer call center, soup kitchen, or food pantry.

"I want to be one of the supportive people in your life. How could I show you more support?" Here are a few ideas: Would you like for me to help with a project or a task? Would you like for me join in a meeting or call with you? Would you like for me to spend time teaching you or practicing with you?

Would you like to borrow my to help you finish the project? Would you like for me to look for practical ways to address the struggles you are facing?

Would you like me to just "be with you" the next time you're feeling down?