Living the Forgiven Life: The Cycle of Grace and Forgiveness

Matthew 18:21-35: The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

Context and Background

In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus addresses a fundamental aspect of Christian discipleship: forgiveness. Peter's question about the extent of forgiveness reflects a generous spirit, surpassing the traditional Rabbinic teaching of forgiving only three times. However, Jesus expands this even further, illustrating that forgiveness should be limitless.

Limitless Forgiveness (Matthew 18:21-22): Jesus responds to Peter by saying one should forgive not just seven times, but seventy times seven. This hyperbolic figure symbolizes an unbounded nature of forgiveness. This teaching is echoed in Ephesians 4:32, where Paul encourages believers to be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave them.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:23-35): Here, Jesus uses a parable to illustrate the severity of refusing to forgive when one has been forgiven much. The king forgives a servant a massive debt, yet that servant fails to forgive a much smaller debt owed to him by another servant. This stark contrast highlights the expected response of those who have received grace— to extend it to others.

Forgiveness is a central theme in Christianity, rooted in the understanding of God’s grace towards humanity. However, the application of forgiveness, especially in situations of repeated harm, raises complex questions about boundaries and self-care.

Matthew 18:21-22 - Jesus tells Peter to forgive not just seven times, but "seventy times seven." This instruction emphasizes the boundless nature of forgiveness, suggesting it should not be limited by a numerical count.

Luke 17:3-4 - "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says 'I repent,' you must forgive him." This passage introduces the concept of repentance as a component of the forgiveness process.

2 Thessalonians 3:14-15 - Paul instructs the community to take note of those who do not obey the teachings and to not associate with them, yet not to regard them as enemies, but to warn them as fellow believers. This highlights that while forgiveness is paramount, it does not preclude the setting of boundaries.

Real-World Application: Forgiveness vs. Being a "Doormat"

Forgiveness Does Not Mean Absence of Consequences: Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean allowing oneself to remain in harmful situations. Forgiveness can coexist with the setting of healthy boundaries. For example, forgiving someone who has repeatedly lied does not mean trusting them immediately; it means not holding their past actions against them while they demonstrate change.

Examples of Non-Forgiveness: Holding onto grudges can lead to bitterness and a breakdown in relationships. An example can be seen in family feuds, where years of non-forgiveness lead to divisions not only between the immediate parties involved but often among extended family members.

Boundaries and Self-Care: It's important to distinguish between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is an internal process of letting go of resentment, while reconciliation is the restoration of a relationship, which might not always be possible or advisable. The Bible advocates for personal well-being (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), and maintaining one's health (physical, emotional, spiritual) is crucial.

Understanding Grace

Let’s dive into a foundational aspect of our faith—grace. In Ephesians 2:8-9, Paul tells us, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast." Grace is this incredible, unearned favor from God. We can't earn forgiveness; we can only receive it, open-handed, from our Lord.

The Lord’s Prayer: A Model for Our Prayers

When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He included a profound statement about forgiveness. In Matthew 6:12, He says, "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." This line from the Lord's Prayer reminds us that our forgiveness from God is intertwined with our forgiveness of others. It's not a transaction—rather, it's about the condition of our hearts. Are our hearts in line with God's heart?

The Principle of Forgiveness and God's Justice

Key Scripture: Romans 3:23-26; Colossians 2:13-14

Divine Justice IS What We Deserve

The concept of divine justice and forgiveness is fundamental to Christian theology. It hinges on the understanding that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), but through Christ's sacrifice, we are offered forgiveness. This lesson explores the connection between divine justice and human forgiveness, drawing parallels and extracting practical applications.

Here in Romans, Paul explains that all humans are guilty before God due to sin. The justice of God, which is inherently part of His nature, requires that sin be penalized. In ancient Israelite culture, this was understood through the system of sacrifices, where blood was required for the atonement of sins (Leviticus 17:11). The concept of justice here is not merely punitive but restorative, aiming to restore broken relationships between God and humanity.

Original Language Insight: The term "justified" in Romans 3:24 comes from the Greek word "dikaioō", which means to be declared righteous. It’s a legal term reflecting a status change prompted by Christ’s sacrificial death.

Colossians 2:13-14

Paul describes how Jesus took the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands and nailed it to the cross. This act symbolically and effectively cleared our record before God.

This passage emphasizes the substitutionary atonement of Christ. He took on Himself the consequences of our sins. In doing so, God’s justice was satisfied—He remained just while justifying those who have faith in Jesus (Romans 3:26). This was the ultimate sacrifice that fulfilled the requirement of justice without compromising God’s love.

Evidence of Grace: Forgiveness in Action

Jesus gets specific about the relationship between receiving forgiveness and granting it. In Matthew 6:14-15, He says, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." This isn't about earning God's forgiveness; it shows that a forgiven heart becomes a forgiving heart. Think about someone who has wronged you. Can you extend to them the same grace you've received?

Challenge and Commitment

Take a moment to reflect quietly. Is there unforgiveness holding us back? Let's think about the freedom that comes with letting go of that burden. As we seek to live like Christ, let's remember His words in Luke 17:3-4, "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying 'I repent,' you must forgive them." Today, let us commit to being people who not only receive forgiveness but generously extend it.

The term "rebuke" often carries a strong connotation, suggesting a firm correction or reprimand directed at someone due to their behavior or actions. In a biblical context, rebuking is more than just criticism—it's a corrective measure meant to guide someone back onto the right path, done in a spirit of love and concern.

Biblical Understanding of Rebuke

In the Scriptures, to rebuke someone involves pointing out errors or sins with the intent of bringing about repentance and spiritual growth. This is seen as a necessary aspect of Christian life and community. For instance, in Luke 17:3, Jesus instructs, "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them." Here, the process of rebuking is directly linked to the potential for forgiveness and reconciliation.

The Purpose of Rebuking

The purpose of a rebuke is not to shame or harm the person but to bring about awareness and repentance. It's a call to recognize one's faults and turn back to God. Proverbs 27:5 says, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love." This proverb underscores the idea that genuine care often requires us to confront painful truths with one another, which, while uncomfortable, is ultimately a profound act of love.

How to Rebuke Effectively

The New Testament provides guidance on how to rebuke effectively:

Do it in love: Ephesians 4:15 advises us to "speak the truth in love," ensuring that our rebukes are not harsh or bitter but are aimed at building up the other person in love.

Be gentle: Galatians 6:1 instructs, "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently..." Gentle restoration is key to effective rebuke.

Ensure it's constructive: 2 Timothy 3:16-17 mentions that all Scripture is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. The goal is constructive change, not condemnation.

In summary, rebuking within a Christian context is about lovingly helping others see their errors for the purpose of spiritual growth and redemption. It is about aiding one another in our collective journey to live more faithfully according to God’s will.

Why do we sometimes feel unforgiven?

Feeling unforgiven, despite having confessed and sought reconciliation with God, can be a common experience among believers. Here are several reasons why this might happen:

Misunderstanding God’s Nature: Sometimes, we may not fully grasp the depth of God’s grace and forgiveness. If we view God primarily as a judge rather than a loving Father, we might continue to feel condemned even after we’ve confessed our sins.

Lack of Understanding About Confession: As mentioned in 1 John 1:9, confession is meant to be a straightforward acknowledgment of our sins, trusting in God's promise to forgive. However, some might confuse this with the need to repeatedly beg for forgiveness, leading to feelings of insecurity about whether their sins are truly forgiven.

Spiritual Warfare: The enemy, Satan, wants to steal our peace and joy as Christians. One of his tactics is to accuse us, making us feel continually guilty and unworthy of God's forgiveness (Revelation 12:10). This can cause a lingering sense of unforgiveness.

Emotional and Psychological Factors: Sometimes, our feelings don’t align with theological truths. Psychological issues such as depression or anxiety, or past traumas can intensify feelings of unworthiness and guilt, making it hard to accept forgiveness.

Lack of Repentance: Feeling unforgiven might also stem from an incomplete repentance. True repentance involves turning away from sin, not just acknowledging it. Without this change, we might not experience the full peace that comes from genuine reconciliation with God.

Community and Teaching Influences: The teaching and culture of one’s church community can also impact how one feels about forgiveness. If the emphasis is overly strict or lacks an understanding of grace, this can affect personal feelings of forgiveness.

Personal Expectations and Perfectionism: Some individuals have a perfectionist approach to their spiritual lives, feeling they must be without fault to be acceptable to God. This unrealistic expectation can leave them feeling perpetually unforgiven because they never meet their own impossible standards.

It's important for believers to continually return to Scripture to understand the true character of God and the full scope of His grace. Regularly engaging with biblical teachings, participating in community worship, and possibly seeking counsel can help align our feelings with the truth of God’s Word, allowing us to live in the freedom of His complete forgiveness.

The Freedom of Forgiveness

Remember that forgiveness frees us from the chains of bitterness and opens the door to joy and peace in our lives. Let's step into the freedom that Jesus offers. As we go forth this week, let's reflect the grace of God in every interaction, showing the world the power of a life transformed by forgiveness.

Let us pray for the strength to forgive as we have been forgiven and for our lives to be a testament to the grace we've received. Amen.