A House Divided and the Family of God Part 2

If you have a Bible, we’re going to be back in Mark 3:31-35 tonight and while we could have finished this last week, I thought that there was enough in the last few verses that we needed to take an entire night and go through it. Last week we talked about how Jesus was totally misunderstood and slandered by pretty much every one around Him. We used C.S. Lewis’ trilemma argument to narrow down that Jesus was not a liar and He clearly was not a lunatic so the option that we are left with is that He must be Lord of all. Before we even dive into these verses, I sort of want to issue a warning: tonight might stir some things in your heart. Tonight we might talk about a few things that for some of you will hit very close to home because it addresses the home. I’m sure that I don’t need to ask for a show of hands to know that you guys as teenagers have felt at one point or another, totally misunderstood by your parents and siblings. You guys probably no what it is like to have parents that seem over involved and maybe under involved in your life. If I were to ask you what your relationship was like with your family, I am sure that many of you would say that it was a sore subject. Maybe you don’t have a real relationship with your family. Speaking just for myself, I am lucky to have the parents that I do. Brian and Susan Bassett have done more to love me and take care of me than a lot of parents would be able to say. I recognize that for some of you, you might not be able to say that. No parent is perfect and no family is perfect. Jesus Himself had an imperfect family and Jesus Himself was misunderstood by His family as we are going to see tonight. What I want to do tonight is talk about the role of the family. What is it that God wants your parents to do and how we should respond to the authority that they have over us. Then we’ll talk about rejection. There is a very real possibility that when it comes to God’s will for your life, you may need to reject a desire of your parent for the greater necessity of a life devoted to God. Then finally, I want us to find hope in the fact that even if we are misunderstood, rejected, and forsook by our earthly mothers and earthly fathers, we have a Heavenly Father that will never reject us or forsake us. Let’s go to the Lord in prayer and then we will read Mark 3:31-35

Mark 3:31–35 NASB95

Then His mother and His brothers arrived, and standing outside they sent word to Him and called Him. A crowd was sitting around Him, and they said to Him, “Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are outside looking for You.” Answering them, He said, “Who are My mother and My brothers?” Looking about at those who were sitting around Him, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! “For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother.”

Jesus’ Family

Before we talk about the role of the family, I want to sort of recap what is happening in Mark 3. You might remember from last week that Jesus and His disciples have returned to Capernaum and as He has returned there, such a large crowd has gathered that Jesus and His disciples couldn’t even eat a meal together. In Mark 3:21 we read, “When His own people heard of this, they went out to take custody of Him; for they were saying, “He has lost His senses.”” Who are His own people? Well Jesus has returned home so we can assume that this is not a reference to some close friends or neighbors but this is a reference to Jesus’ earthly family. It is highly possible that Jesus’ brothers are included in this because remember what we saw last week in John 7, that even Christ’s brothers did not believe that He was the Son of God until after the resurrection. In the mind of His brothers and maybe even of His mother, Jesus’ ministry seems to be getting totally out of hand. In verse 21 we saw that they came to the house that He was at to take custody of Him and that really just meant that they wanted to grab Jesus and take Him home to take care of Him before things got any more out of hand. It is possible that they do this with good intentions but by trying to take Jesus off of His course, they are actually attempting to disrupt the will and work of God. If Jesus is forced to go home with mom, what happens to God’s rescue plan? As insane as it may appear to the eyes of Christ’s family, there are things at work in Jesus life and ministry that they don’t understand but one day will. In verses 31 and 32, Jesus’ mom and brothers arrive and there are so many people it seems that they can’t even get to Him so from outside the house they send word to Him and the crowd says to Jesus, “Behold, your mother and your brothers are outside looking for you.” Now Christ’s answer to this probably confuses some of you. Jesus says in verse 33, “Who are My mother and My brothers?” Now obviously, Jesus did not forget who these people were. He then points to those that are sitting around Him and says, “Behold my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.” Now in the first century, we have to understand that family relationships were considered the most important group that you could be a part of. If a child were to reject his family, this would be totally scandalous for the family and the community as it is in some places around the world today. Jesus’ words are designed to shock the crowd, give hope to the crowd, and reorient the desires and perspective of His own earthly family which we will get to in a bit. What we need to clarify right away is that Jesus did nothing sinful in the way that He responded to His family. Jesus understands what His family is doing and He understands that what they are doing is out of love and concern for Him but what they failed to understand was that Jesus’ love and concern for them was greater than their love and concern for Him. Really, it is out of love for them and all future followers of Christ that Jesus says what He does. He will not allow the mission of God to be interrupted, regardless of what intentions may be behind his family. We know that Jesus loves His earthly family and we see this at the end of the Gospel of John where Jesus’ final request before his death was that John the Apostle would take in and provide for his mother, Mary. What Jesus is emphasizing here is that obedience to the will of our Heavenly Father will always surpass the need for obedience to our earthly mothers and fathers. This does not mean that we should never obey our parents but that the hierarchy of obedience has to be God first and parents second. So, what is the role of the family? More specifically, how are we to interact with our parents and how should our parents lead and love us?

The Role of the Family as Seen in Scripture

There is a lot that we could say and there is a lot that we have said in the past. I think of when we did the ten commandments and we spent a week talking about how we are to honor our mother and fathers. When we talked about it then we talked about how there are limitations to this commandment. First off, it is the only commandment that has a time limitation. There’s a day, and for some of you it may already be here, where your parents are not around anymore. We also talked about how if our parents tell us to sin or force us into a position of sin, we have the greater responsibility to serve our Heavenly Father and not sin. I said this back then and I’ll say it now: I know that there are people in this room who have absent mothers or absent fathers or both. I know there are people in this room who have neglectful, abusive, cruddy parents and I feel for you in that. Some of you have really bad moms or really bad dads. I’m fortunate that I have two incredible parents that I love very much. But let me say this, one of the worst mistakes that you can make in your spiritual life is looking at your Heavenly Father through the lens of your Earthly Father because it doesn’t matter how good or bad your earthly father is, He can’t compare to your Heavenly Father. It is your earthly father that must live to God’s standards and not the other way around. There is not a parent on this earth that is perfect but there isn’t a child on this earth that is perfect either. Your parents should be striving to look like your Heavenly Father in all they do; our Heavenly Father doesn’t strive to look like our earthly parents. So, when God says that we are to honor our parents, it means that we show them the proper respect and reverence that they are due. They brought you into this world, they gave you food and clothing, put a roof over your head, and while none of them have parented perfectly, they have been placed in the position that they are in by God Himself and because God has instituted that role of parents and children, we must respect our parents and as we do that, we honor the Lord. How then should our parents act towards us. I want to quickly point out what Paul says in Ephesians 6:1–4 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Verse 4 is what I want us to focus on. I think that while Paul is referencing fathers, it is just as applicable to moms. Not everyone here still has their mom and not everyone here still has their dad. Maybe some of you are being raised by a grandparent or a different family figure. This command still applies to them. Parents are to not provoke their children to anger. Colossians 3:21 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Our parents need to build us up and not tear us down. What are some ways that your parents have discouraged you? How could they have handled the situation differently? How could you have handled the situation differently? These verses don’t mean that our parents should never correct us but it does mean that our parents shouldn’t beat you up physically, emotionally, or mentally at every little thing. Our parents are also to bring us up in discipline and instruction of the Lord. While I love the privilege of teaching you the ways of the Lord and the Bible, it is ultimately the responsibility of your parents to do this. I should not be the sole source of Biblical instruction that you get in the week. It’s the duty of your parents and I think that if they aren’t, you need to hold them to this standard. Ian Hamilton wrote, “Our children are precious, God-given lives. They are vulnerable, susceptible to all kinds of unhelpful influences. Fathers and mothers greatly need to do all within their power to ensure that nothing they say or do hinders their children from sweetly receiving the training and admonition of the Lord.” You guys need to honor and love your mom and you need to honor and love your dad. But you also need to know that God has a standard for them in your life. So, that is the bar. Our parents are to do all that they can to see to it that we follow God’s will because it is when we do the will of God, that is when we become part of the spiritual family of Christ.

God’s Will and the Family

Someone go ahead and read Mark 3:34–35 again: “Looking about at those who were sitting around Him, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! “For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother.”” Let me ask this question real quick: How is Jesus’ response to His family good news for us today? Like we have already talked about a little bit, not everyone in here have great parents. Not everyone in here have true God-fearing, Christ-exalting parents. What we are reminded of here is that there is no such thing as a Christian without a family. If you are a Christian, you don’t just have a Heavenly Father, you have spiritual brothers and sisters. I’ve said this before but if you are a Christian and your parents aren’t, you have more in common with the believer sitting next to you than you do with your biological parents. What does it take to be brought into the family of God? We have to do the will of God the Father. Included in that will is that we would believe in Jesus Christ. Christ says that very thing in John 6:29 and then in John 6:40 He says, “For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day.” It is the will of God that we would follow Christ and it is the will of God that parents would point their children to Christ. Ultimately, my role as a father is to do all that I can to raise my children up in the Lord and it is ultimately up to the Lord to use my children however He deems fit. The life of my children are loaned to me from God and I need to do what I can to raise them up so that they can serve Christ freely and without me hindering them. If the Lord calls my children to the missions field in any part of the world, I need to let them go. It’s not up to me what God does with their life. A quick question I have for you guys, how do you think what Jesus says about His spiritual family being those that do the will of God function as a motivator for us to do the work of the Gospel? Now what do we do if we have parents that do not want us to pursue the will of God? How can we handle that respectfully while also heeding God’s call on our life? First off, it is important that our parents know that while we respect them, our heart, body, and soul belongs first to the Lord. Your parents did not save you, Christ saved you. Your parents in a sense did not create you, God created you through your parents. You are under His authority first and theirs second. We also need to remember that by following God first, we are loving our parents more than if we did not serve the Lord at all. What do I mean by this? Let’s say you have unbelieving parents that do not care for the Gospel. Couldn’t they see your heart for the Lord, see the testimony of your life, and hear the Gospel from you? That’s love and respect more than anything! Tell your parents, “This is why I follow Christ, this is why I must go and follow Him!”

Hope in Times of Rejection

Now it all comes down to this, what do you do if mom and dad, brothers and sisters do reject you? What do you do if you follow the call of God and mom and dad say no, if you walk out that door, if you follow Christ, don’t come back. What do you do if mom and dad are totally against you? One thing you need to think about is that you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last to go through that. Jesus does say in Matthew 10:34–35 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. “For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” If we go back to the first century, we see a young church that was saturated in a culture that emphasized honor and family that to leave the religion of your family was absolutely scandalous. Children would literally be sent away from their homes because of their commitment to Christ and the Gospel. Yet, as they left the arms of their biological family, waiting would be the arms of their new spiritual family. David Garland said, “When Jesus asks, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” it strikes us as a rude disregard of the feelings of his family, but it would have been a comfort to those first Christians who lost their families because of their loyalty to Christ. They can be cheered that they are not without family but have become a part of a greater family of faith.” We also can be encouraged by the fact that while our earthly fathers and earthly mothers might reject and forsake us, our Heavenly Father never will. David says in Psalm 27:10 “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, But the Lord will take me up.” What David is saying here is likely hypothetical. It would seem that David’s parents never forsook him but what David is saying is that even if he were to be totally rejected and forsook by his parents, God the Father will always be there. The love of God the Father is so perfect, so strong, that it can never come close to being reached. Alec Motyer puts it simply like this: “Even if the strongest human love should reach its limit, the Lord’s love remains.” Even if mom and dad totally rejected you, abandoned you, despised you, a far greater, a far more sufficient, perfect love is readily there for you in the Lord. Right now, you might hate your parents. Right now you may be so full of rage and bitterness towards them that you couldn’t put it into words even if you tried. Right now you have so closely related the rejection of your earthly mother and father to your Heavenly Father that you have completely pushed aside your Heavenly Father because you don’t want to serve a God that you view through the eyes of your parents. But here is love vast as the ocean and where their love has failed, God’s love is ready and waiting. I’ve shared these verses with you before but some of my favorite verses in the Old Testament are Isaiah 49:14–16 “But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, And the Lord has forgotten me.” “Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.” At this point in Israel’s journey, they felt as if God had totally forgotten them. How does the Lord respond to that? By pointing out what is probably the closest relationship that can exist between two humans and that is the relationship between a mother and her child. God says, “Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb?” Could a loving mom forget her child? It’s possible, it’s rare, but it is totally possible. What God is saying to Israel, what He says even now to us is that even if your mother has totally rejected you, totally forgotten you, He will not forget. Why not? Because He has inscribed, He has engraved us on the palms of His hands. How can He forget the ones that He has carved into His hands? He can’t! Fast forward from the time of Isaiah to the time of Jesus, it is there on the cross where we see the full extent of God’s love for His people, it is on the cross where we see our names inscribed on the palm of His hands. Why is it that we know that we will never be forsaken? Because on the cross, Jesus Christ took all the forsakenness that you and I deserve. What was it that Jesus said to His Heavenly Father right before He died? “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Do you see what Jesus does there? He takes it all on our behalf! We deserve to be forsaken but because of what Jesus did, we never will be! Jesus took on all the forsakenness of His Heavenly Father so that even if we were to lose our earthly mother and father, we can not be taken up and adopted by our Heavenly Father. Look, Jesus so closely relates to our pain that even He can relate to being rejected by a father because on the cross, Jesus was rejected by His Father. Even Jesus was rejected by His family but now we can confidently stand before our Heavenly Father as a dearly beloved child of God. That is how we can have hope in this world and in the world to come. We can serve God regardless of what our parents think because we know that we have come to be known and loved by our Heavenly Father. What I want us to do now, is I want us to take some time and I want us to open up our hearts to our parents. I have some paper here for all of you and what I want you to do is write a letter to your parents. In that letter, I want you to be as vulnerable as you can be. I want you to thank them first off for being your parent. I also want you to tell them that you want to hold them to a standard to raise you up in the Lord. Say what you want to say to them. Even if it is just an, “I love you” put that down on the paper. But say if there is something that you have had a hard time saying to them, try to write that down. Talk to them and remember that no matter what may happen, the Lord is there to take you up and bring you in. I’ll pray for us and then as you write, I’ll just play our last song and when you are done with your letter, you are free to go down to the CLC. Quietly take this time for yourself and if you need to mail this to mom or dad, I can give you a stamp tonight if you need one. Let’s pray together.