Forgiveness

Forgiven

Matthew 18:21–35 KJV 1900

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. 23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. 24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. 28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. 29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. 32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: 33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? 34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. 35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

Colossians 3:13 KJV 1900

13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Matthew 18:15–20 gives us the pattern we should follow when someone has sinned against us, but what does it mean to forgive in the first place? For an answer, let us look to God the Father, the One who has perfectly modeled forgiveness for us. When God forgives us, He no longer holds our sins against us. He no longer condemns us. Our fellowship with Him is no longer disrupted. This is because Jesus Christ has suffered sin’s full penalty for all those who trust in Him.

We forgive others because God has forgiven us. Jesus taught us to pray to the Father, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matt. 6:12). Like God, to forgive someone means to no longer hold sin against the person who has sinned against you. When we forgive someone, we are once again in a positive relationship with them.

Forgiving someone, however, does not mean that the offender experiences no consequences for his or her actions. When grievous harm is done, consequences ensue. We see this in our relationship with God. If, for example, we were to steal something, the Lord will forgive us if we repent. But that does not mean we will not have to suffer criminal punishment or pay back the person from whom we stole. God forgave David for his sin with Bathsheba, but that sin had severe consequences that followed him the rest of his life in the form of family turmoil (see 2 Samuel). We can and must forgive those who have sinned against us, but when criminal behavior is involved in the sin, it should be reported to the civil authorities, whom God gave to protect us from evildoers (Rom. 13:1–7).

Someone who comes to you and asks for forgiveness is showing a sign of repentance. We should never withhold forgiveness from someone who asks for it from us (see Matt. 18:21, 22; Luke 17:3). If we do not forgive someone who asks, we do not display the richness of God’s mercy to us in Jesus Christ (see Matt. 18:23–35).

Sin is a sad reality of life in a fallen world, and it has major consequences. Jesus Christ willingly gave His life for our sins. Our forgiveness came at an unimaginable price. The beauty of the Christian life is that we can forgive others in a way that God has forgiven us.

Matthew 6:14–15 “14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

So what does God require of us when we sin?  It’s not satisfying a list of good deeds, but a complete surrender of our lives to the Lord. It’s accepting and embracing God’s forgiveness and, in turn, forgiving one another.

Head

Do you need to forgive someone? It can be a difficult process, but as Christians, it’s something that we’re commanded to do. Whatever your situation, here are four thoughts on how to forgive others.

Remember that God has forgiven you

Ephesians 4:32 “32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

When forgiving someone, remember that God forgave you first. Therefore, the Bible tells us we are to forgive others as God in Christ forgave us. We are called to follow Christ’s example of forgiveness – but it can be difficult. Someone may have hurt us deeply. One way to put things into perspective is by thinking about all the things that God has forgiven us for. We have each hurt God through our sin, but he is always willing to forgive. If God can forgive us for what we have done, can’t we extend that same forgiveness to someone else?

Giving and receiving forgiveness

Matthew 6:14–15“14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

In the verse above, Jesus tells us plainly that if we don’t extend forgiveness to others, it won’t be extended to us. This is re-emphasized in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35). Jesus tells the story of a servant whose master forgave a great debt. But afterward, the servant would not forgive a much smaller debt that was owed to him by another – an unmerciful act for which the master punished him. Similarly, we’ve been shown incredible mercy by God. So, that mercy should transform us and enable us to extend it to others, even those who have hurt us.

You can only control yourself

Matthew 5:23–24 “23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

The Bible stresses the importance of forgiving others and seeking forgiveness. We are told to reconcile with those who have something against us. Because of this, we can’t let hurt and anger keep us from forgiveness. Holding onto that pain not only prevents us from making things right with others, it can also keep us from experiencing full fellowship with God. But what if the person who hurt you isn’t seeking forgiveness? Ultimately, the only people we can control is ourselves and we can still honor God by choosing to forgive, whether or not it’s acknowledged or accepted by the other party.

This can only be done with God’s help

It may still seem that someone or something in your life is impossible to forgive. And you may be right if you’re trying to do it through your strength alone. Fortunately, you are not alone. Through God, forgiveness is possible. That doesn’t mean it will happen instantly and it doesn’t mean it will be easy. But if you wholeheartedly ask God to help you forgive someone, he will give you the strength to do so.

Hands

How to forgive others in three practical steps

Start by praying for that person. Pray for their good. Ask God to help you love them as He loves them. It’s hard to be quite as angry with someone who you are praying for on a consistent basis.Ask God to help you. Come to a place where you desire to forgive the person who hurt you, then ask God to give you the strength to do so.Try, try, and try again. You may not feel very forgiving the first time you pray for them, or you may find that your thoughts drift back to anger or hurt. However, don’t be discouraged. This is completely natural and can be part of the process. Think of it as building your “forgiveness muscle” – it takes time. Keep at it and, eventually, God will help you truly forgive those who have hurt you.

Joseph’s example of forgiveness

In the Gospels, Jesus offers the greatest example of forgiveness that the world has seen. For another biblical example of forgiveness, check out the story of Joseph found in Genesis. Joseph was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers, but God transformed their evil act and used it for good. It culminates in a powerful moment of reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers.

Take some time to read through those chapters and see how Joseph came to forgive those who had wronged him. What sticks out to you? Do you believe that God could take a hurt you feel and use it to bring about His goodness?