A Gratitude Adjustment

Gratitude

Many of you who have children can relate to the phrase, “No good deed goes unpunished.” And what I mean by that is that you desire to give your children good things and yet, many times, there isn’t a thank you, an acknowledgment of the sacrifice that was made to provide the child with what they needed or wanted. And Lest you think that this is just a symptom of childhood, let me relate to you a story from 1860. Two ships crashed into each other on Lake Michigan near Evanston, Illinois. A young man training for the ministry, Edward Spencer, risked his life to save people from the frigid waters of the lake. In the process he sustained damage to his own body that would last a lifetime. Many years later when Spencer died, it was noted that not one of the people he had saved from the water had thanked him for their rescue.

Can you imagine that? Can you imagine having your life threatened in such a way and yet not turning toward your rescuer and at least acknowledging what they had done for you? For most of us, we would be sure that we would offer thanks and maybe more to our rescuer. But don’t be too sure. Human nature is fickle and fallen and we are afflicted by this condition we call “self” and “selfishness.”

As I mentioned earlier today I spent 5 very long days and nights at Good Samaritan Hospital. During that time I had four roommates. And from my sickbed through the thin curtain I couldn’t help but overhear their conversations.

The first roommate was a middle aged man with a bowel complaint. The nursing staff were exceptionally gracious to him since he did not speak English and allowed his wife to stay in the room overnight with him, which is breaking hospital rules. But were this couple grateful? No, they filed a complaint against a nurse who they thought didn’t accommodation themselves enough to their needs.

The second patient was an older gentleman from a plain religious community who was also accompanied by his wife. He was in for surgery and the procedure had gone well. But was he grateful? No, all he could do is complain about the doctor and his lack of time with the patients. In the meantime the surgeon had sent three other doctors and nurse practitioners to check on him. But for him that wasn’t enough.

The third patient was a successful local business person who works in construction. He spent much of his time on the phone arguing with his girlfriend and her children about how ungrateful they were. This patient knew I was a pastor because we had struck up a conversation and he asked me to pray with him. But later all he could do is yell and berate his family over perceived slights. He came in with symptoms of a heart attack but checked himself out of the hospital so that he “could go take care of the situation at home.”

And my final roommate was a young man from the city who was down on his luck. He had little money and little opportunity and he presented to the emergency room with overwhelming anxiety. The doctors gave him drugs to calm him down and they did some lab work that showed that his electrolytes were majorly off. So off that if not corrected he was at risk for a heart attack or stroke. But after a while when the meds wore off, he wanted to go home and signed himself out too. And he was rude about it too to the nurse who helped him.

I don’t mention my roommates and their lack of gratitude as a way to prop myself up. I too was in a difficult situation. Being septic is like no other illness. You’re half out of it until the infection clears and so I wasn’t thinking much the first few days—I was just existing, and I’m sure I didn’t give much of a thank you. But as my infection died down and I had a lot of time on my hands because I just couldn’t sleep in the hospital I began to think back on my own life.

You see one thing I know about myself is that because of the trauma and loss I experienced earlier in life I sometimes carry the attitude that God owes me something for all of my suffering. You know? I lost my mom and day and my two siblings and by twenty nine had zero direct living relatives. Cousins were the closest I had to family. That’s tough and it can make you bitter. And bitterness leads to an attitude of entitlement in which you think the world owes you something. You can be thankful sometimes with an attitude of entitlement but you can’t have gratitude.

So, what is gratitude anyway and how is it different from being thankful? Well, when we’re thankful, we usual express appreciation for a person, a gift, a situation that is present in our lives. In our family, it’s traditional to go around the table and express something we’re thankful for on Thanksgiving day. Maybe you have a similar tradition.

But gratitude is something different. Gratitude is an acknowledgment that all we have comes from God and that none of it comes from our own hand. All we have is a gift from the Father of Heavenly Lights as James would say. So, gratitude is an ATTITUDE. It is a disposition. It is a stance of the heart. It is a virtue.

And like all virtues, gratitude can be cultivated. Gratitude like other virtues like patience and kindness can be encouraged through practice. The more we express thanks in all circumstances the more we cultivate and tend the garden of gratitude in our hearts. We can weed out the tares of entitlement and selfishness that dwell within and make room for a settled attitude of contentment.

Notice that in Paul’s letter to the Philippians he acknowledges that he learned the secret of being content in all circumstances. It was not some supernatural gift of the Holy Spirit. Did you know that after his Damascus Road encounter Paul did not embark on his great missionary journeys for about fourteen years?

Scholars wonder what Paul was doing during this time. I really don’t because I’m pretty sure that God was working on Paul to create the type of character that could stand up to the immense resistance and persecution he would find—even among other Christians. Paul needed to learn to be content. And only then could he say that he could do all things through Christ who gives him strength.

I know hard times are tough, but the hard times in our lives are some of the best opportunities we have for developing our character. And paradoxically, the more hard times you encounter, the more your attitude toward them can change. Think of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. As his ministry progressed his trials and hardships got worse. And yet he himself became more gentle, more kind, more grateful. On the eve of his assassination he acknowledged his thankfulness to God and said,

And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”

This man knew his days were numbered and yet he was happy? He had been persecuted by his enemies and even the FBI and still he could say he was happy. Only by God’s grace and mercy can our hearts rise to this level.

Friends, we live in a culture that tells us that we do not have enough. We live in a culture that tells us that we are not enough. That we need to always strive to want more, have more, be more. The entire advertising industry exists precisely to do this. They are in the discontentment business. They have to manufacture in us desires for things we do not have. Wouldn’t our lives be great if we could save time by upgrading to a newer and faster model. Wouldn’t we draw more attention to us if we dressed like this or that celebrity. Wouldn’t the church be more relevant to young people if we had flashing lights and fog machines? See, even the church isn’t immune to the lure of advertising.

What we really need to do is pay attention to how God describes the way of the world. God is the giver of every good thing. All is a gift from him, even life itself. And God knows what we need before we ask. Remember in the Sermon on the Mount Jesus tells us not to be anxious about what we will eat or what we will wear. God will provide. Ignore the advertisers, those instigators of anxiety, they want to steal your joy in what God has given.

Gratitude friends, is a great attitude to have. And it is one that characterized Christians from early on. The first Christians were so grateful to God that they put all the excess that they had at the apostle’s feet and trusted them to distribute it equitably. No one did without because those that had much gave much so that all could have. In other words, gratitude naturally leads to generosity.

And now, as we come to this table, we enact what we heard in 1 Corinthians 11. We are reminded of God’s mighty acts of salvation and that all gifts come from him. In fact, the prayer we use at communion is called “The Great Thanksgiving”

So, let us know receive the body and the blood with thanksgiving and gratitude. Amen.