A Unique Choice

SI: Marriage as a uniquely permanent choice that has many benefits and is best fulfilled with growth, communication, and love within it.

SP: To encourage and prepare a couple that is about to get married.

SQ: What are some important principles to keep in mind in marriage?

I. Introduction

There are not very many things in life where we make permanent choices. Someones first house isn't a permanent choice neither is someones first car. You don’t choose your parents or siblings, but they remain your parents and siblings for the rest of your life. As we gather together this morning to witness marriage we see two people make a uniquely permanent choice. God has designed the world to run on the fundamental unit of one man and one woman for life. What we are witnesses of today is not only fundamental but it is also what brings stability to society. A mother and father are there to see children all through life. A husband it there to lead, guide, support, and love his wife through the many challenges that come with each stage of life. A wife is there to support, encourage, and love the husband as he faces new challenges and takes on new things throughout life. This very thing is under attack in the world we live in today, and as beautiful as it is, it is not always easy because we live in a fallen world, but I want to take a moment to encourage the couple and give them hope to push through these challenges.

II. Growing together

a. People change unlike materials

i. I mentioned above about how you often don’t keep your first car forever, well some people do keep their first car fro their whole life. These vehicles often turn heads as they drive down the road giving people a small time capsule into the past. In marriage however people don’t remain a time capsule to the past they change and grow as time goes on. This is the beauty that God created within humanity that we don’t just stay the same following the same instinct our whole lives but we grow.

b. In marriage you should grow together

i. In marriage as people change one of the beautiful things in they change and grow together. They discover new things about life together like how much of pain moving can be or how much they both enjoy mystery movies, or playing a certain video game together. You learn each others likes and dislikes, weird tendencies or quirks. In growing together you for a connection that no two other people can like.

C. In marriage you should grow towards God

i. Each person in a marriage changes but each person in a Christian marriage should grow towards Christlikeness and sanctification. Marriage can be a sanctifying process if you take the need of your spouse to be above your own and seek to grow as a believer in better serving and loving each other.

ii. I am reminded of the passage in Ephesians 5:22-32 In this passages Paul famously encourages husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and to give himself for the wife. In learning how to do this is the day to the husband will have to lean on the power of God and grow in Christ.

iii. For the wife learning how to submit and respect your husband so that he can lead you into sanctification as the passage teaches you will have to lean on Christ and his the Holy Spirit to do this everyday and this will sanctify you.

III. Communicating together

a. In marriage frequent communication is important.

One of the dangers to emotional intimacy in a marriage is closed off communication. In growing a relationship is important because it is what gives a window into the personality of the other person. It shows who they really are and it allows for a married couple to process and share life's biggest moments together.

b. In marriage hard communication is important

To maintain that emotional intimacy in marriage it is important to talk about hard things and not let problems or disagreements build in your mind. Being able to have hard conversations may be difficult in the moment but it will lead to growth.

C. Listening in Marriage

This point may seem more directed at the husband but it is important for both the husband and the wife to be able to listen to each other having good listening skills is vital for a good marriage and believers. James 1:19 says this “19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;”. In learning how to listen to one other then the relationship will be strengthened everyday by both people feeling like their voices are being heard.

IV. Unconditionally together

a. It is not always easy to love each other

Right now to you guys it might seem like it is will always be easy to love each other, but the truth is as life goes on it can be difficult. When one person does something to hurt the other or one makes a decision that hurts both of them then it might be hard to find a reason to love that person. It is important for couple to have that unconditional love so the can continue to love each other in those difficult times.

b. Unconditional love sets Christian marriage apart

In a marriage between believers unconditional love is paramount because it goes beyond the feelings that might fade over time. In a marriage where it is not permanent then it is all about feeling a certain way or getting something out of the marriage. In the believers marriage we love each other sacrificially no matter what listen to the words of 1 Corinthians 13 it is a Bible passage often quoted at wedding but it is for a good reason. In this passage Paul is encouraging believers to love each other in the church this way bit I believe it also applies to a marriage between believers. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 NKJV

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

In a believers marriage, it is not always possible to love perfectly like these verses teach, but it sets a standard for couples to live by and gives them something to strive to get better at with each other.

C. Unconditional love breeds deeper love

a. In loving each other unconditionally a husband and wife will find more to love about each other and deeper love that comes from not what they get, how they look, what they can do, but more towards who they are. Loving someone for who they are is a selfless act that frees a person to bestow a deep kind of love upon another.

Conclusion

In the next few moments we will witness the unique choice of both of these couple to grow, communicate, and love throughout the rest of their lives. It is not something you can return, upgrade, or exchange. This choice is defined by how much of a lasting choice it is. I want to encourage you guys _____ and ____ to try to practice these things, but also like a mentioned in the beginning to cherish marriage as a gift. A gift that can not only stabilize your life but society. A gift that call you to love deeper, know your self more, and find joy in someone else. A gift that can break chains of selfishness and open you up to the freedom of service and selflessness. I pray marriage also reminds you of love that Christ has for his bride the church.