A Mother’s confidence

Introduction

introduce self

Happy mothers day

dismiss children

Last fall I sent out a survey to learn about what you as a church were interested in learning about in scripture.

One of the themes that came up was women of the bible. That’s what I originally planned to preach this entire month. There was one woman that came up a few times that after looking through and praying over I found to be one I don’t know that I have heard many messages on.

Today I want us to look at Deborah in the book of Judges 4.

There is not much details about her life except for one major event.

A battle that took place with the Canaaninites.

Let’s talk back story here.

After Joshua led the nation of Israel to conquer the promised land and he passed, there was no king in Israel.

Israel did not drive out the Canaanites in the land as God had instructed and now they are a thorn in the flesh of the people.

God uses judges to provide releief throughout this book when the people cry out. God raises a judge to lead the people to follow Him again.

Deborah is raised as a judge following the judgegs Ehud and Shamgar

For deborah to be a judge was significant thing in the nation of Israel.

The cutlure of that day did not hold women in a high regard. They were defintely not looked to for potential leadership positions.

Character-lack of confidence in self

Have you ever been in a position where other people didn’t beleive in you or want you there?

That’s where deborah was. A place where the people’s confidence could have bene low in her adn her confidence in her self could have low as well.

Studies show that self confidence among women, specifcally mothers is not high.

Most people have some form of self-confidence problem.

Women and mothers do face a different set of challenges that others,

some of the factors that play a role in the lack of self confidence in women and mothers are

1. Societal Expectations and Pressure: Societal norms around motherhood often set unrealistic standards, leading mothers to feel they must meet certain criteria to be considered "good mothers." This pressure can cause feelings of inadequacy and lower self-confidence when expectations aren't met.

2. Body Image and Physical Changes: Postpartum body changes can affect mothers' body image and self-esteem. Societal ideals of beauty often make new mothers feel less attractive or capable, impacting their confidence.

3. Work-Life Balance and Employment Issues: The challenges of balancing work and family life can create stress and uncertainty, especially for mothers returning to work after childbirth. Feeling unsupported in the workplace or struggling with career progress can affect confidence levels.

4. Social Isolation and Lack of Support: A lack of social support networks, such as family, friends, or community groups, can leave mothers feeling isolated. Peer support plays a critical role in building confidence, and its absence can lead to emotional distress and self-doubt​ (bmcpregnancychildbirth.biomedcentral)​.

5. Mental Health Challenges: Conditions like postpartum depression and anxiety significantly impact mothers' self-confidence. Without proper identification and support, these issues can deeply affect a mother's sense of self-worth.

6. Financial Stress: Economic pressures and financial dependence can lead to a lack of autonomy, which may negatively impact mothers' confidence.

7. Parenting Challenges: Dealing with children's behavioral or health problems can be overwhelming and lead mothers to question their parenting abilities, impacting their self-confidence.

Can anyone, man or woman, relate to any of those?

I can.

Agitated-Mental, Emotional state impacted, relationships around you suffer

What happens when these things begin to take over and control you?

What happens when your confidence is shaken to it’s core?

depression? anxiety?

your feeling of self-worth is depleted.

The relationships you have with your spouse, your children, and your friends becomes strained to the point of toxicity.

why? Because you have been trying to find confidence, self worth, and identity in who you are.

But moms, ladies, men, children, a confidence found in self is only as strong as you are.

And while you may have strength, you may have great qualities about you, there is one thing you are not and you need to stop trying to be.

Ready?

let’s all say it, repeat after me

I am not PERFECT…and I don’t have to be

Solution-Live from confidence in Christ

When we seek self confidence in who we are saying we are confident in a flawed being.

In the last couple of weeks Sarah’s car broke down.

We knew the day was coming.

Last year the a/c got a leak in it…we made it work and then when winter came it didn’t matter.

The struts had some issues so every time we hit a bump it was like riding in a low rider with airbags

and then…and then…when i was out of town…it started clicking on acceleration…

I had made an appointment to get that looked at and had to drive it.

Now, while I drove it…do you think I was confident in it’s performance or ability to get me from a to b?

no.

While driving down 72 one afternoon, I got a notification on the dash…overheating…

fortunately I was near automotive plus where I know the owner and was able to stop by.

Check engine light was on and it was throwing a ton of codes.

Knowing that it was a flawed car with issues, if I had my trust in it to get me home or further when it was giving me these notifications that it has issues, woudl you tell me it was wise to have confidence in it?

I mena it’s my car. everyone says it should be doing this that and the other. It’s doing the ebst it can but it’s still not enough…

Are you trying to find confidence in yourself like the guy driving the car with the check engine light on?

don’t. Find your confidence in christ

Psalm 121:2 “2 My help cometh from the Lord, Which made heaven and earth.”

Psalm 121:2 CSB

2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Guide-Deborah

That’s exactly what Deborah did.

Judges 5:7 “7 The inhabitants of the villages ceased, they ceased in Israel, Until that I Deborah arose, That I arose a mother in Israel.”

In a culture that would have placed expectations on her, that would have told her she wasn’t enough, and I can only imagine would have resisted any attempts she made to live out her faith, she didn’t find confidence in ehrself. She found her confidence in Christ and who he called her to be.

Journey-Judges 4:6-9

The encyclopedia britannica defines the role of judges The judges arose as Yahweh saw fit, in order to lead an erring and repentant people to a restoration of a right relationship with him and to victory over their enemies.

As moms, this may describe your home some times. Seeking to lovingly lead erring people to a restored relationship with Jesus.

And whiel we can laugh a bit at that thre is some truth there.

You have children who are sinners, you have a spouse who is a sinner, and your ultimate role as a follower of Jesus in your home, whether mom, dad, or child, is to lead them to Jesus.

How you do that is in the role God has given you.

I do not believe and the Bible does not teach that women or mothers are less than men and husbands. We are equal in value and different in roles.

Deborah had a role to fill and had she chosen to rely on self confidence it would have not worked out.

So what did she do. I want us to see two things…I know..not three. don’t worry, I’ll still preach just as long.

Two things that I believe she did and that you can do to be confident, not in your self, but in your SAvior and who God made you to be.

Judges 4:6–7 “6 And she sent and called Barak the son of Abinoam out of Kedesh-naphtali, and said unto him, Hath not the Lord God of Israel commanded, saying, Go and draw toward mount Tabor, and take with thee ten thousand men of the children of Naphtali and of the children of Zebulun? 7 And I will draw unto thee to the river Kishon Sisera, the captain of Jabin’s army, with his chariots and his multitude; and I will deliver him into thine hand.

1. Confidence in God’s Word

The story of Deborah and the battale with the Caananites begins here with ehr calling on Barak.

The name Barak means lightning which is appropriate sense he is a military general.

As a judge she was able to judge matters between the people but also call upon armies to be raised to fight the Lord’s battles.

Where did she get her instruction to carry out her role?

From God.

Where do you get your instructions to carry out your role? From God.

You can’t live out your role from God as a mother, spouse, husband, or any other to the glory of God withot His input.

Bu tHis input won’t matter if you don’t believe what He says.

The Psalmist wrote

Psalm 56:3–4 “3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. 4 In God I will praise his word, In God I have put my trust; I will not fear What flesh can do unto me.”

Jesus made a big deal about the Word of God

John 8:31–32 “31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; 32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

knowing and living it is the key to living an abundant life in and for Christ.

We have ot have faith…how do we have faith…

Romans 10:17 “17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

Faith comes from hearing the Word and grows as you live it out. Becuase that’s when you understand it.

Have you ever been taught something and walked away with the idea “I got this.”

Before oyu had children, did you read a parenting book and think you had it all together?

Did you get a degree in college and think you woudl know what to do on the job?

Read the job description of your place of employment and think “yea, that makes perfect sense.”

But when you started living it out it wasn’t what you thought it would be?

that’s becuase our understanding of the word is rudementary until it is lived out.

Just recently i had a situation that will change the way I preach a passge of scripture forever because I lived it.

I have more faith in the process, I have more understanding of what it looks like, but I never would have if I wasn’t willing to let it play out by faith and have the support of people around me as it did.

Your confidence in the Word of God will be predicated on your knowledge of the Word but will only increase as you live the Word out.

Deborah had it a little easier in that I beleive she heard from God. Hard not to have confidence in that.

While you don’t have the audible voice she did, you have the written word.

The problem is that many are not studying it.

2 Timothy 2:15 “15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

R.C. Sproul said “Here, then, is the real problem of our negligence. We fail in our duty to study God's Word not so much because it is difficult to understand, not so much because it is dull and boring, but because it is work. Our problem is not a lack of intelligence or a lack of passion. Our problem is that we are lazy.”

Don’t be lazy and don’t be over zealous. You don’t have to know all of the word now but you should know a little more today than yesterday.

Deborah knew the word and then she called BArak to deliver it to Him.

This is what we as parents do in our homes

Deuteronomy 32:44–46 “44 And Moses came and spake all the words of this song in the ears of the people, he, and Hoshea the son of Nun. 45 And Moses made an end of speaking all these words to all Israel: 46 And he said unto them, Set your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day, which ye shall command your children to observe to do, all the words of this law.”

This principle is the same today.

HAve Confidence in the Word becuase you know it and are passsing it on.

Then you have to do the real hard part.

2. Have Faith to live it out

Judges 4:8–9 “8 And Barak said unto her, If thou wilt go with me, then I will go: but if thou wilt not go with me, then I will not go. 9 And she said, I will surely go with thee: notwithstanding the journey that thou takest shall not be for thine honour; for the Lord shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose, and went with Barak to Kedesh.”

Barak has heard her and said well…if you go, I’ll go

Barak did what kids and others will do to.

I heard what you said…no prove it.

You love Jesus? Show me.

YOu believe the gospel? HOw is your life changed because of it?

James 1:22 “22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”

Now, lets remind ourselves of what we said early. REady? Repeat after me

I am not PERFECT…and I don’t have to be

Great. But are you pursuing the perfect one?

Paul wrote

Philippians 3:14 “14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

He continued forward in his imperfection.

Romans 7:14–16 “14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. 16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.”

Romans 7:14–16 CSB

14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold as a slave under sin. 15 For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want to do, I agree with the law that it is good.

Moving forward in faith isn’t being perfect, it’s accepting your not and trusting God’s plan is.

God’s plan is not clearly laid out for you, at least not step by step.

If it was, it wouldn’t take faith.

Hebrews 11:6 “6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

Living by faith ins’t knowing if the next step is 100% right, it’s taking the next step believing it is directed by God.

I think one of the issues that leads to the problems i mentioned earlier is that we are trying to live apart from who God made us to be.

I heard a statement recently that went something like this “one of the causes of being depressed is because we are tired of playing the avatar we have created for ourselves and our souls need deep rest from that.”

As a follower of Jesus, let me give you some perspective.

Your are in a constant spiritual battle between your flesh and the spirit of God.

Galatians 2:20 “20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

1 Corinthians 15:31 “31 I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.”

This is a battle. Think about it…Chrisitnaity is about going against everything that is natural to us…

Be angry and sin not

Swift to hear and slow to speak

Forgive those who ahve hurt you

Love those who hate you

i mean…come on..does that sound easy?

no. That’s why the strong language…crucified with christ, dieing to self.

That’s why we need the Word and the the one who spoke the Word.

Psalm 23:1–3 “1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

Sometimes the greatest act of faith is to rest and let God work it out.

Deborah put feet to her faith. She went with him to battle and God worked just as God does.

Maybe you need to fight a battle, maybe you need to stop fighting and rest.

Mom’s you do alot. Thanks.

Remember you don’t ahve to do it all. and the outcome is in the hands of the Lord.

The outcome of the battle barak and and the canaanites dind’t end with Deborah saving the day. It was another woman who drove aspike through the head of the enemy. Not to mention, a rain storm that helped theIsraelites.

What Deborah and Barak did wasn’t win the battle, God did that. They were faithfully obedient to the Lord.

Resolution-Be Christ confident not self confident

Moms dads, just do that. be confident enough in the Word of God to be faithful to it.

Be confident in who God is, who Jesus is, and what is word says. And that if you beleive salvation is by grace through faith then you can belive that GOd has a plan for your kdis and as you are faithfully obedient to Him he will work that out.

Hard reality moms and dads, we will fail our kids at some point. However ,God enver will. Point them to Him.

Impact:Negative: self confidence failure, hurt relationships. Positive: See Christ work through you

I’m afraid if christian parents contiune to rely on themsevles they will never have the confidence they need to lovingly lead in their homes. They will feel guilty for failures and the relatioships around them will hurt.

There are a couple things we have to remember.

God works in God’s way to fulfill God’s purpose.

We don’t trsut God to do what we want, we trust him to allow us to be apart of what He wants

That’s true for your moms and the rest of us as well.

if we choose to have this confidence in the Word and live it out we will see Christ work through us.

And I’d rather see Him work in my children than me.

Have you been confident in God’s word and living it out? What area of your life have you not been>

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