Sermon Prep Outline | Proverbs 17:20–21

Principles Of Proverbs

Introduction- I am so excited about spring and summer! I feel like the winter here makes you appreciate spring even more. I remember when we first got here, I was amazed by the nice weather in the mornings and at night. The green grass in the middle of summer was incredible. When we had all that snow a couple years ago, I could not believe the snow piles and snow drifts. Even to this day it doesn’t get old! But when I would talk about it to some native South Dakotans, they would be like, “Oh no, it’s always like this” or “Oh no, it is so humid and hot…” I think to myself, um no, this weather is incredible, you’ve just gotten used to it.

It’s the same way with people that live in Florida and always go to Universal and Disney. We are amazed and they hardly think anything about it. Why? Because our tendency is to get used to things that we are always around and thus miss it.

That means that we can be surrounded by so much good, by so many incredible things and yet we miss it because we have gotten used to it.

V20- You can be surrounded by good and Godly things and yet not realize it or be affected by it because of the condition of your heart.

What this verse is saying is that a person can be surrounded by so many good things, so many spiritual things, be surrounded by Godly things but if their heart is not right, they will miss it all.

Froward means crooked, perverse, sinful, wrong. We all have a tendency to have a froward heart. I wonder how much we have missed that God wanted to give us because we had frowardness in our hearts?

Frowardness could be anything!

It could be the entertainment you allow in through your phone, the apps you download, the music you listen to, the movies you watch.

It could be the social media that you are consuming. The reels and shorts that put wrong thoughts and temptations in your mind.

Frowardness could be an attitude that you have towards your parents. Maybe it is bitterness because of some perceived wrong doing. Maybe it is frustration and anger because they won’t let you have out with this friend and or go to this place, or watch this. Getting frustrated with your parents.

Frowardness could be the conversations you have with your friends whether through your phone or in person.

I could go on and on about the frowardness that we allow in our hearts so easily…

But, here is the problem. We struggle with this frowardness during the week. We allow the frowardness in through our phones, we have a bad relationship with our parents and family. And we come to church on a Sunday and we almost talk to God like this “Okay, God, fix me. Change me. Make a difference in me.” We expect God to try and work through all the filth that we have built up through the week but that’s not how He works.

You could be surrounded by good preaching and good influences on a Sunday but miss all of it because of the froward preaching you are getting from your friends and from your phone and not find good, even though you are surrounded by it.

This is why you can grow up in a Godly home and miss the good that is there. You can grow up one way and go a whole other direction. We’ve all seen it and wonder what happened but I believe this text gives us some insight. It is because even though they are surrounded by good, they grew up in church, they have a great Godly family, they have frowardness in their heart that they don’t get right and thus miss all the help and blessing from a Godly home and go on to make regretful choices that bring regretful consequences.

I can’t help but think about camp…You can come to a week of camp and miss the good that is there at a week of camp all because you have frowardness in your heart. We’ll talk more about this in a minute, but…

You can miss the good conversations and opportunity to build relationships on the bus because you didn’t sit by who you wanted to and you have a bad attitude or you miss out on investing in the younger kids of the youth group because you are too busy talking to your friends or doing things and talking about things you shouldn’t.

Maybe you get so caught up in the sports and other competitions and you are fuming because Ashton kicked another onside kick straight in to the air against BBC, and you are so frustrated about the peripherals that you completely miss the preaching.

You could be surrounded by good and truth at the end of a message and know you need to respond and yet totally miss it because you didn’t want to go forward.

Here is the biggest thing… There is SOOO much you can gain from being at camp.

You can build incredible relationships and memories with this youth group, other youth groups and even staff at Bill Rice Ranch.

You can grow closer to your fellow youth as we compete together in sports.

You can grow in your musical skills through the music competitions.

Most importantly, your life can be changed through the preaching. I made two of the most life changing decisions while I was at the BRR; I got saved in JR Camp (I almost missed it because I was focused on my reputation) and I surrendered my life to the Lord to do with as He pleased. God can absolutely CHANGE the direction of your life and do something incredible. We have had someone get saved at camp I think almost every year. I think you can look back and see good decisions that you’ve made before.

And yet… You can be surrounded by all of that and yet totally miss it because you kept frowardness in your heart right now.

You will miss those life changing decisions at camp if you don’t take care of the bitterness and resentment that you are holding against your parents or some situation or relationship in your life.

You could completely miss a whole week of camp that you worked hard for because you won’t get help and get the problem of lust taken care of.

You could miss the whole week of camp because you are allowing the wrong kind of friends, social media, or entertainment in to your life.

The thing is, it doesn’t matter if you are a good church kid and you are surrounded by so much good. It doesn’t matter if we spend $13,000-$15,000 to get everyone to camp, it will do you NO good to be surrounded by preaching for a week if you are holding on to some sin in your life.

You will waste a week of camp and in fact you could waste your whole teen years surrounded by SO MUCH good because of a sin that you are not willing to let go of right now.

Don’t miss out the opportunity you’ve been given being raised in a Godly home and in a good church.

Don’t miss the opportunity, waste the investment by so many church members to get you to camp, don’t waste all the incredible preaching and life changing decisions all because you are holding on to some sin, some frowardness.

It isn’t enough just to go to camp, it isn’t enough to be surrounded by Godly people and things. You’ve got to take care of the frowardness before any good can take place in your life, before God can do any blessing.

You not only can miss the goodness to be found but you can get in to trouble and lose your influence by the words that you use.

Let’s apply this to camp really quick…The words you use will keep you from getting what you need at camp but it will also bring trouble.

When a call doesn’t go your way during a football or basketball game guys or some volleyball game girls, it’s going to happen, it happens every year. If you are not careful with what you say and how you say it, it could cost the whole youth group sportsmanship.

If you are not careful with how you use your words even when the preaching is going on or during the devos in the morning, you could miss what God wants for you but even more importantly, when you talk during preaching or snicker during the singing, elbow each other during the devos, you distract your fellow youth group member and cause them to miss what God wanted for them and maybe even rob them of a life changing decision that they needed to make or keep them from the blessing that God wanted to give them.

How and when you use your words at camp are so important!

You relationship with your parents and how you talk to them.

When you are not careful and you talk back to your parents or you treat your mom like she is your maid and not your mother, when you are always nagging your dad to give you your way. Not only can that bring temporary trouble and mischief, but it can bring longterm trouble. Because God says those sons and daughters who do not honor their parents, it won’t be well with them on this earth. They are putting themselves in the way of God’s judgement and sacrificing His blessings.

This also affects your relationship with your siblings.

Illustration- I remember a young man that came to me that was burdened about his brother and the direction that he was going in his life. His brother was getting into some pretty bad drugs, alcohol, a partying lifestyle, and all kinds of bad stuff. The older brother had gotten right recently but his younger brother was still off.

He tried to talk to him and explain what he was doing was wrong and that he needed to get right and confess to his parents and yet his brother wouldn't listen and kept going on. All because the brother hadn't done right before, and because he had been mean to his brother and said things that hurt him, he didn’t listen because of his brothers conduct and especially because of how the older brother spoke to him. That caused him to lose influence with his brother during a time when his brother absolutely needed it. I haven’t heard from him in quite awhile but last I heard, the younger brother was facing some pretty difficult and regretful consequences because of his actions. Obviously he chose to do those things but his brother could have influenced him for the better had he not ruined by the way he acted and spoke to his brother.

Your words have serious impact on you and the people that you are around.

Another thing we need to be mindful of, especially today is that…

(V21) Your actions as a fool not only impact you, they impact your parents.

Your actions will affect the joy and contentment level that your parents find in life.

It’s really easy to think that you can decide to do your own thing and it’s not going to impact others. You can go to whatever church you want when you get older, you can listen to whatever, you can date or even marry whoever you want when you get out of the house, you can dress and talk however you want. You can make all these decisions and you look forward to making these decisions when you get out of the home but what you have to remember is that your actions impact your Mom and your Dad more than you realize.

Already, Mrs. Brielle and I have had conversations with parents who are so grieved and broken about their teens behavior. Though you may not see it, your actions can’t hurt your parents so deeply.

It doesn’t mean that if you go off the deep end that they will never be happy but it just states the truth of the matter that you bring sorrow and you rob your parents of joy when you act in foolish ways.

So, before you go off at camp or to a friends house, or to a restaurant, remember that your actions impact your parents, it affects their joy. Before you go off and leave the home, disregard everything you've been raised to do, think about how it impacts your parents.

Maybe today would be a good day to realize that the attitude that you have been giving to your mom or dad really has impacted them, it has hurt them, your actions and disobedience has affected their joy and contentedness in life.

Maybe this mothers day would be a good day to get some of those things right. Your actions are never in a vacuum, they always affect someone and it will always start with the people closest to you.

Conclusion- I wonder how many teens here will miss out on so many blessings and rich relationships in life because they allowed frowardness in their life and foolish behavior with their parents? I wonder how many of you will miss out on the change that God wants to make or a blessing He wants to give you because you are holding on to that sin, that bitterness, that lust, that envy, that entertainment, that friend, that broken relationship.

Don’t be surrounded by so much good, good family, good church, good pastor, good friends and miss out on it all because of some frowardness that you were not willing to get rid of.

Start today and get these things right so that we can start receiving all the great things that God wants to bless us with.