Mothers Day Conversatoin With Kayla

Announcements

One service May 27 - One to Remember

Groups are continuing through May 22 - Come be a part of the last few weeks of the semester

Summer Nights Begin soon…stay tuned for special events EVERY WEDNESDAY IN JUNE!

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Sermon Intro

Proverbs 1:8–9 ESV

8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.

Instruction = Musar = Discipline

Teaching = Torah = Instructions

Dads are great at discipline but not always so great on the instruction side.

I can tell you what I expect, but am not great at telling you how to accomplish it.

MOMS ARE GIFTED AT GIVING PATIENT, STEP BY STEP INSTRUCTIONS.

Men and Women are different…

Open by explaining that I have always struggled to preach well on Mothers day…

Contrary to 2024 logic, I can never be a mother.

So today is a very special day for Awaken Church because for the first time since our inception…I’m being joined by the better half of our Pastor Team

Awaken Church help me welcome my beautiful wife to the stage!

{Kayla walks up and we are both seated}

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Small talk questions to ease into the conversation.

Joke Question | What’s it like to be married to pastor Tyler…

Explain to everyone EVERYTHING YOU DO on a weekly basis for the church.

{Kayla shares the role that she plays for the church}

Manages a lot of our administrative aspects

Oversees our kids ministry

Makes sure that our inventory is properly stocked

Owns a cleaning company so we handle the cleaning of the church

{Tyler will insert a point here that it’s important that you find the right person to fulfill your purpose.}

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Maybe take a moment and share your favorite story from our time together

{Kayla share a funny story}

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Kayla and I have been married for nearly fifteen years we got started on building our life together very early. So Kayla tell them a little bit about our journey and how your motherhood experience began.

KAYLA

We got married when I was 18 and Tyler was 19. Weston was born when I was 20. I don’t like that you said I’ve been a mom for almost half my life! I’m not that old am I ?! (Everyone laughs so hard) I love being a mom, I always loved kids, I would be the one holding all the babies at church, until I had my own and that paused for a while! I’m getting back to the stage to hold other babies now! I love watching my kids grow, I love watching them learn new things. I have grown as a mom with them. I’m not perfect, I make mistake regularly but I always admit that to my kids and let them know I’m still growing as well.}

I will talk about the leadership principle at play there - people would rather a leader who is always real than a leader who is always right.

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So you become a mom at 20, basically that means you started living your life for somoene else at age 20. Many people, would view this as a sacrifice. Maybe tell about your greatest joys in motherhood.

{Some of the greatest joys in motherhood for me

Is feeling my babies kick inside the womb

seeing your newborn for the first time

Watching them take their first steps

Learning to do new things

Playing sports or doing things they love

Seeing them love spending time as a family}

I will talk about the fact that what culture sees as a sacrifice is actually a gift.

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One of the things that is so interesting on days like Mother Day is the emotional complexities that it brings with it.

Anything that offers a significant amount of joy carries with it the potential for a significant amount of pain.

That was certainly our experience.

Many in this room have heard my recollection of your pregnancy journeys but I wanted you to share your experience with those in the room that maybe are in a season more characterized by the pain of motherhood as opposed to the joy.

KAYLA :

Our first 2 pregnancies were easy, in fact getting pregnant with Easton wasn’t necessarily planned.

I always say God knew I needed him during that time. We unexpectedly had to move when I was 8 months pregnant and it was a hard time but I had the joy of having a new baby that kept my mind off of the hard times!

When we decided to try for our 3rd child, I didn’t think anything different. About 5 months later, I found out I was expecting our 3rd! In Jan. I didn’t know anything was wrong but after I had my first miscarriage,

I was devastated.

I remember the day like it was yesterday, days to come I just cried, stayed in my room.

I know Tyler was starting to get concerned because he had never seen me like this ( I had never been like this)

In marriage and motherhood things change, we can’t control our circumstances but we can control the way we react.

I remember praying in the kitchen while loading the dishwasher.

All of a sudden the Holy Spirit fell on me and a peace that only God can give fell over me.

I knew I was going to be ok but that didn’t take the pain away.

We have to learn to live with the pain but not in the pain.

We can’t continue to dwell on our pain and let it consume us.

We have to give it to God daily, we have to rest in the peace He promises.

Don’t get me wrong, I felt Gods peace I knew God was good, I believed it. But going through some other medical issues and not knowing if I’d get pregnant again, going through a tough time in our ministry, I started getting depressed, I started having a hard time in all things.

We moved in Sept of 2018, everything was looking better but all of a sudden depression hit me like never before,

I was in bed most of my days,

I could’t think straight,

everything was foggy and dark.

I started having panic attacks.

I didn’t know what was happening or what to do.

I started seeing a Christian therapist,

I was on anti depressants for a time..

I never stopped going to church,

I never stopped worshiping,

I never hid my depression from my family, church family and friends.

I knew I needed help and I was trying to get it.

You can have feelings of depression and thoughts of no longer wanting to be alive but the facts never change!!

I got pregnant for the 4th time later that year 2018 and was scared and excited.

After my second miscarriage I didn’t know if I wanted to keep trying.

Tyler saw me breaking more and more each time.

I can take you to the place where I knelt down in our church and prayed.

I gave all my stress, all my dreams, all my desires.

I told God I was blessed to be the mom of Weston and Easton and if that’s all that was meant to be I was ok with that. And I meant it. I had to mean it! I couldn’t keep going on the way I was.

In June of 2021 I found out I was pregnant for the 5th time. I was terrified, the fear didn’t go away through the entire pregnancy, every appointment. But God was my peace.

Philippians 4:7 ESV

7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The verse before says to worry about nothing and pray about it. - harder said than done

Tyler: Reinforce that all of the pain that we went through was a reminder that God is a God who keeps His promises.

___________ It’s a lot easier to portray that certainty on the other side of our miracle…Roughly 20% of ladies are incapable of bearing children.

What would you say to the woman who is currently going through a season of infertility?

KAYLA

Praying you have a group around you that are praying for you and supporting you! I can’t imagine the pain and stress that comes with infertility. I encourage you to give it to God completely, do all you can and give the rest to God. We can’t control everything that happens to us but we can choose how we respond.

Questions are not intimidating to God…Certainty is not required to follow God

Jesus does the will of the Father while actively questioning His method.

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We wanted this to be a conversation wherin we could add value to mothers, whatever stage their at. What would you say to those future mothers in the room - The ones who aren’t mothers yet?

KAYLA

I would encourage you to pray for your future children, if you’re not married yet pray for your future spouse. Take note on how you want raise your kids and discuss that with your spouse. Have a plan BUT know that things change, every pregnancy is different, every child is different. You can’t control everything, when things come that “mess up the plan” make sure your heart is at a place it in God’s Hands

I will throw something in about making sure you establish Master, Mission, Mate

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What would you say to the young mothers in the room? Those who are just getting started on their motherhood journey?

KAYLA

Young mothers or mothers of young kids, I’m there with you! Don’t get discouraged in this season, some days are amazing and other days you just want to sit on the floor and cry with your kids! Give yourself grace! If your going through a sad time after a new baby, if your toddler is out of control and you just want to scream, if your 4 year old cuts her hair, pours all your laundry soap out, draws on all the walls, yells and hits the amazing Awaken Kids Team members…. Know you are not alone!! Please don’t go through the hard times alone, reach out to someone, let them in. You don’t have to let everyone you talk to know every detail. I encourage you to find someone you can relate with and build a friendship if you don’t already have that!

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Since the inception of our church, there has been an underlying purpose point for single mothers. What would you say to single moms in the room?

KAYLA

You are so strong!! I can’t imagine all the things you face but I know that God is with you! He gives you that strength you need each day to juggle all the things on your plate. Find other single moms or any mom, RELATIONSHIPS are so important!! As for everyone you are not alone! Find someone you can build a friendship with, maybe find someone you can trust to swap days with you on keeping the kids alive while you go get a manicure or a coffee in peace.

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So maybe speak to what you think the biggest lie mothers face is and what a good response to that lie might be.

KAYLA

I would say for me the lie/lies is “I’m failing my kids”, “I’m not good enough” “ I should be better” or comparison with other moms. Comparison is so more when you scroll social media and see everyones highlights and best moments. We have to combat these thoughts and lies with scripture and prayer. Don’t let the enemy tear you down and keep you discouraged

Ephesians 2:10 ESV

10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

2 Corinthians 12:9–10 ESV

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Matthew 6:33 ESV

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

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We don’t have everything figured out but it has been a joy to watch you develop as a mom and I am so proud of the strength that you employ in raising our kids. We’re not perfect but I think you’re a pretty good model for some of these moms trying to figure it out!

That being said, what is one last bit of advice you would give to the moms in the room on this mothers day?

KAYLA

Ending with telling moms to give themselves some grace, take some time just for themselves and God. As a wife and mother, sometimes we lose sight of who we are. Yes we are mothers and we work hard at that, while we raise our kids and do all we can for them don’t forget to take care of yourself. A couple of years ago, I wasn’t doing great mentally. I love my husband, my kids, my church but I was feeling overwhelmed. I told Tyler I needed to get away for a day or two to pray and focus on who I was.

I took a overnight stay in a tiny house in the hills of Tennessee, I sat, I prayed, I read, I wrote, I forgave people who have hurt me in the past, I kayaked, I put up post it notes all around of things God says about me. I encourage every mother to save up, take some time and make it happen!! This was a huge help to me and I’m sure my family benefited from it as well! … maybe its time for me to do that again! ;)