My Mother Taught Me

Scripture

Proverbs 22:6 KJV 1900

Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Don’t worry. I am not going to tell you how to raise your kids tonight. Tonight’s message is a bit scattered but I do believe it is grounded in Scripture. My tonight is “My Mother Taught Me”. Most of you probably know that my mom has been a math teacher for most of my life. So I guess the first thing she taught me is math. But I am not going to talk about math tonight either. I never did like the class much. Every mother is a teacher. Ryan mentioned a laundry list of things this morning that mothers do which includes an aweful lot of laundry. Really though I want talk about my mother as a practical theology teacher. I think that what she is best at. Anyone who has had her in math class, especially more advanced classes, know that math is the least of the things she teaches in her classroom. That classroom is just a little snapshot of the teaching that she did at home.

Tonight I want to share some Biblical truths that are burned onto my brain that my mother taught me.

I want to focus on the first part of that verse. Train, or teach a child. And since I don’t have children but have been one, and some would say I still am one, I only know about it from the child’s perspective. Here’s what my mom taught me.

Now I do want to say that I have not been a great student, so don’t blame my mom for me!

My Mother Taught Me That Whatsoever My Hand Findeth To Do, Do It With My Might

One of the first things my mother taught me is found in Ecclesiastes 9:10 “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.” and again found in Colossians 3:23 “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;”

These passages mean that everything we do we aught to do for God, and realizing that God is watching. Each moment God sees what we do and how we do what we do. Like the parable of the talents we have each been given resources of time and ability if nothing else. What we do with our time and with our abilities should be done as unto God. That means they done as well as we can do them, not just done enough to satisfy some earthly requirement.

My Mother taught me this by not letting me by with anything less than my best effort at things. If I was given a job or a chore to do I was expected to do it as well as I possibly could. I remember learning to make my bed. I was taught how to make it so it was neat and orderly. So there were no wrinkles and so the bed spread hung evenly off each side of the bed and so that the pattern was symmetrically displayed on the bed. Now that’s not always an easy task. Sometimes the bed just doesn’t want to cooperate. It’s certainly not an easy task for a little boy, but I was able then to make the bed probably better than I am able now.

Even back then I recognized the futility of making my bed. I was only going to mess it up again that night. No one was going to visit my room during the day. So why in the world would I make it look so neat and nice? My first plan was to just not make my bed. That plan did not work. I was forced against my will and against all logic to make my bed before I left the house in the morning and if I didn’t I would have to make it before I could play after school.

My next plan was to just throw everything on the bed and cover it up with the bedspread. The sheets and blankets all askew under the surface, but the bed nice and neat on top. That did not work because it left a lumpy bumpy bed. I tried things like stuffing the blankets under the bed and just using the bedspread but nothing really worked. I was able to make my bed nicely and neatly so I had to.

As silly as making the bed is, which I stand by to this day, my mom was teaching me something. If you are going to do something, do it right. Why? Because God wants us to and God is watching! I don’t know if she used this on the occasions but I remember her often saying “Would you want Jesus to see that?” or “Would Jesus be impressed?” or “Do you think that makes Jesus happy?” She was teaching that we were doing things unto the Lord not unto ourselves.

Not only were we not doing things unto ourselves, but we were not doing them for other either. As a teacher my mother was very involved in each our educations. Our grades were very important to her. According to the school a C or D average was acceptable. You got moved up to the next grade and you passed your classes. My mother had a different idea. Only your very best was acceptable. Now my brothers and I got different grades, especially through elementary school. She never compared us to each other and asked why we didn’t get as good a grade as the other. Or maybe she did and I just beat them all the time, I don’t really know. Really though she didn’t. We were measured against what we were able to do. Now she did not let us off easy. Some classes I was required to get perfect 100’s or I would have my daily home study time for that class increased or added. For example my mom determined I could get a 100 in spelling. I spent some time (I don’t remember how much) each day at home working on spelling. If I got any wrong on a test that time would be increased. If I got any wrong on the next test I had to study with my brother, which was a cruel punishment! I worked to never miss any so that I wouldn’t have to spend all my free time going over the same few words again and again. If my math grades were slipping out would come the flash cards and I would be studying math at home, making sure I knew how to add, subtract, multiply and divide.

Now so far it sounds like I was required to just have perfect grades in school. I didn’t though. One class in particular I struggled in. I never had to spend excessive amounts of time on this. I think my brother may have faced that but by the time I came along it was clear that my brothers and I could not get good penmanship grades. I worked harder to write neatly and to do a good job in penmanship that I did on all my classes combined I think. Yet my grades were terrible. I measured against doing my best. My best in penmanship was bad, and I was never punished.

You see my mom was not worried about my grades, truthfully she was worried that I did my schoolwork as unto the Lord. That I did it, with my might. If I did, that was good enough. If I didn’t do it on my own I faced increased requirements to do so.

My Mother Taught Me To Walk Circumspectly

Another thing my mother taught me from the Bible is found in Ephesians 5:15 “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,” Now I have preached on this idea somewhat frequently. Living carefully. I think this may be even more important than working hard. If we do not live carefully, we are first of all not following this verse and are therefore fools. Now what God calls foolish it is good to avoid. Careless living allows increased avenues of temptation and increased likelihood of spiritual failure. That is why we are careful living people. Not because we think we are better than everyone who is less careful, but because we see the wreckage that results from careless living. We see those who have fallen through this or that temptation that could easily have been avoided had they only been a little less foolish.

I was taught this in a few ways. I grew up on a Bible College Campus. I had friends who also did. We lived a little differently than them. One thing that sticks out to me is dress code. We followed the school dress code all the time. We followed after school, we followed it in the summer, we followed at camp meeting in Alabama, and if we ever went on vacation to somewhere other than a camp meeting we followed it there too. I am not talking about the school uniform but the dress code. When we went to church we dressed up, we never wore jeans. Now I am not coming after you for wearing jeans to church, that is not at all the point of this illustration. We liked to argue with our parents and say why do we have to this, why do we live this way, especially when our friends didn’t? The answer that I never did like was that we as teachers kids were under the same dress rules as the dorm students and since dad was a representation of the school year round so were we. The dorm students had to dress up to go to church even if it was Wednesday night or some special service on any given night. If you were in church you were dressed up. If they were, so were we.

Whether or not that was right or a good answer doesn’t really matter. The point is this. You are a representation of God all the time. If you claim His name in church on Sunday, then in school, at work, in the gym, or anywhere else you go, you represent Christ.

I did not like rules growing up, and I do not like rules today. I would always argue with my mom about rules she placed on us. She did explain the reason why for the rules, but she also drilled a principle into our heads. She often ask, “Is it worth missing heaven over?” I hated to hear that, especially when I was arguing about some silly rule that had nothing to do with heaven in my mind. That wasn’t her point. She was not claiming that I would miss heaven if I did or didn’t do whatever we were arguing over. She was putting things into perspective and teaching me to be careful. Be careful how you dress, be careful what words come out of your mouth, be careful how much value you place on silly little things of this world. They are not worth missing heaven over. You see if there is any thing that you are not willing to do for God you are not surrendered to Him and that will cause you to miss heaven. Even a silly little thing, if you say that its too small for God to care about and therefore its not possible that He would want me to give it up, even when you feel that tugging in your heart, that little voice of the conscience. That little thing can become a big thing if you do not surrender it to God.

My Mother Taught Me That Obedience is Better Than Sacrifice

The most important thing my mother taught me is to obey and what it means to obey. In 1 Samuel 15:22 we read “And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to hearken than the fat of rams.” God doesn’t want your sacrifice if you do not obey Him. When Israel was rebelling against God the first chapter of Jeremiah talks about how God viewed the sacrifices of Israel. God was sick of them, and the smell of their incense was an abomination to Him. God desires that we obey Him. If God has you to something He doesn’t want you to put extra money in the offering plate and tell Him no. You can’t buy God off by giving Him some stuff and doing your own will when it is against Him.

We were taught in our household to obey. If we did not obey the rod of correction was applied. The issue did not matter. If it was a big deal or a small thing, if we directly disobeyed a command of our parents or were percieved to we were punished largely the same. Sometimes there were disagreements over whether or not we disobeyed, but disobedience was a huge deal. Even if the thing we did was “good.”

I have memory of a time that I did a good thing and do not think I disobeyed and my mother remembers it a little differently but whoever is right it shows the point. One day it was pouring rain so we went to check and see if any was getting into our basement. Outside of our basement door was a giant puddle and on the other side of that puddle was my bicycle laying in the yard. I remember that I was told to go get the bike and bring it in. So started out through the puddle. About halfway through my mom told me not to go in the puddle. Me having been given conflicting orders and already being in the middle of the puddle went and got the bike and brought it in. I was punished for disobeying my mom. She remembers the story a little differently and thinks she told me to go out a different door and get the bicycle and to not go in the puddle and then I proceded to march my way through the puddle in defiance of her.

Either way, I did a good thing, I brought the bike, which she wanted. Yet I disobeyed her in a little way. I was punished for my disobedience even though the thing I did was good. But I also clearly taught what disobedience was, and what it was not. I remember different time growing up breaking dishes. Never on purpose, but perhaps it was too hot, or it slipped, or what have you. I would drop a plate, bowl, or glass and it would shatter. Now obviously I was not allowed to break dishes! Yet I never experienced the rod of correction for that bad action. Sure, I was perhaps scolded for being careless. I was instructed to let things cool before I tried to carry them, but I was never really in any trouble for these accidents. I was taught how to avoid them but not punished for them. I was very forgetful growing up. I was easily distracted and often forgot some chore or other that I was supposed to accomplish. If it was thought that I sneaked off and didn’t do my job knowingly I would be punished for disobedience, but if it was clear that I forgot, I was made to stop what I was doing then and go do it, but I was not punished for not doing it. Now I was very forgetful and it became a problem and I do think there was one time when the rod of correction was used to help me be more mindful in the future. But even that time I remember my mom being at a loss and saying that she knew I forgot, but she didn’t know how else to help me remember because I always forgot and at some point it seemed like I was intentionally forgetting (which I was.)

The statement almost always came that “If you can’t obey me, you won’t be able to obey God.” I was taught to always obey but during that I recieved the most important theology lesson I ever got. Disobedience and error are two entirely different things. God corrects error, He punishes disobedience. God enables the infirm, He punishes the rebellious. Just like my mom punished me based on her perception of my motive, God treats us the same. It is what is on the inside that counts. Now God does not allow us to continue in error without correcting and guiding us so never use this as an excuse for bad behavior. But what determines our eternal destiny? It’s as simple as obeying God. Whatever God tells you to do, do that. Whatever He says not to do, don’t do that. All sin is at its core disobedience or rebellion against God. If it isn’t disobedient it isn’t sin. If it is disobedient, even if the action itself is good, it is sin. Man looks on the outward, God looks on the heart.

Tonight I know its been a bit all over the place but I wanted to remind you that one of the key things a mother does is teach her children. Children don’t always listen or learn very well. I’m sure there are many things that my mom cannot believe I didn’t learn and I know there were times where she wondered if I ever would learn anything, but she kept loving me, and kept praying for me, and kept teaching. I also wanted to take mothers day and brag my mom a little bit even if she isn’t here. Please don’t tell her but she is pretty awesome. At this time Paul is going to come