The Kingdom Family

A New Epidemic

Friends, we have just exited a period in which the news and our lives were dominated by the global COVID-19 Pandemic. For years we had to make accommodation and do things we didn’t like. But hopefully, with public health measures and good treatments, we’ve placed the quarantines behind for good.

But COVID-19 has revealed to many another more hidden problem. And that problem is loneliness. The feeling that an individual has that they stand by themselves. That there is no one to whom they can turn. In fact, many, including the Surgeon General, are asserting that loneliness is a new Epidemic; something that has taken hold of society that needs urgent treatment.

In fact, the statistics bear this out. According to Harvard research 36% of the population of the United States reports that they feel lonely and isolated. Astonishingly, 61% of young people claim to be lonely. And 51% of mothers with young children report loneliness as well.

But how can this be? How can it be that in the most digitally connected society that has ever existed—in a society in which we can reach each other 24/7/365 anywhere in the world we still feel lonely. And how is it that the youth of our nation, the ones who use social media technology most heavily also identify as the most lonely?

This is just my opinion, but I think there is evidence to back it up, but I think that what we are facing in our current social moment is the breakdown of genuine community based on two diametrically opposed axes. First, social media invites us to project an image of ourselves that appeals to others. On Facebook and Instagram and TikTok we play a role. We are the central character in a drama of self-representation in which we put our best foot forward. We hide the things that make us look bad and we even Photoshop our own memories starting to believe what we project.

And this is a case of individualism gone amok. We want to project that we are special, unique, one of a kind, our own special snowflake in the sea of snowflakes that make up our world. We want to shine brightly and we want to be noticed. And while wanting recognition is natural and even helpful to our psyches when the quest for recognition goes too far it leads us into play-acting. It leads us to deceive and puff ourselves up.

But another trend is at work in our world that breaks down community as well. And that other trend is sectarianism. We have a tendency to only hang out with those that broadly share our opinions, or look like us, or worship like us. Thus we create little social cliques that automatically exclude those that aren’t like us. And pushing it even further, these cliques often develop an us-them mentality that looks down at those that differ in opinion or ability while we think ourselves superior. This is what is at work in almost any “ism.” Sexism, Racism, Classism, etc. all have at their core an us/them dynamic in which that which is not “me” is judged to be inferior.

And today it is even more complicated. You see human identity is made up of a mosaic of identities, often competing even within oneself for dominance. For instance, I can list a bunch of groups I belong to. Some of them are by virtue of birth, some by choice. I am a male. I am Caucasian of Polish, Lithuanian, and German descent. I am heterosexual. I am married. I am a pastor. I am a scholar. I am a student. I am a United Methodist Christian. I am a citizen of the United States of America. When it comes to politics I am a moderate. When it comes to theology, I am a centrist. I am a musician. I am a writer. And I could go on and on with descriptive language for the groups of which I am a part.

But more often than not, these labels that we give ourselves come into conflict. For instance, the fact that I am male and I am a clergyman can lead to some interesting, if sad, facts. As a male clergy person, statistically, I will earn more in my lifetime than an equally qualified and equally educated clergywoman. How should I react to that role strain? I have one of a number of choices. I could perhaps just count myself lucky for being born a male (lots of people do this, sadly). Or, I could use the privilege I have to work to advocate for the equality of compensation for clergywomen (something I aim to do).

And that’s a relatively simple example. What happens say if my role as a citizen of the United States of America stands in conflict with my identity as a United Methodist Christian. And here of course I’m treading into dangerous waters. But tread I must because this seems to be the topic of many reports these days. What happens when it becomes difficult to be both a good American and a good Christian. What do I choose and why? To look at the perils of decisions like these we need only go back to Germany before the Second World War. Propaganda from the Nazi Party and from influential church leaders stated that it was possible to be both a Good Nazi and a Good Christian at the same time. That in these spheres we were acting in two different realms, two different kingdoms. As a Nazi we operate in the kingdom of the world that is fallen so we must take pragmatic steps to eliminate opposition (the justification for the Holocaust by the way). But that does not enter into my relationship with God because that is a part of another heavenly kingdom.

I know this is an extreme example. But it proves the point I’m trying to make. And that is that we human beings are a mosaic of competing identities on the individual level. We are a member of often competing social groups that vie for control of our emotions and our loyalties. And it is all to easy to become unwittingly part of something that in the end goes against what we profess to believe.

So, in this world of confusion, how do we reconcile our competing identities? To what do we give our highest allegiance. Which identity will dominate and relativize all of the others.

For a Christian, the identity that must, and I repeat MUST dominate their social selves is their identity as new creations, as children of God, as a member of the church universal, a member of the Body of Christ.

If we choose to find our identity in anything else, in our race, our gender, our class, our sexuality—then we can easily become alienated from a close relationship with God and with other people.

What is the church then? The church is the body of people from every tribe, every tongue, every race, every socioeconomic status, every ethnicity, every sexual orientation or other identifier that seek to find their primary identity as followers of Christ. In Christ, all other social identity markers become relative, they become mere descriptors. For if Christ compels us, we no longer give these secondary identifiers much credit.

And I’ll give you a personal story to demonstrate how this might work. I grew up in a household in which politics were very much a topic of conversation. My father was very politically active and shared his political opinions freely. He was quite articulate in sharing his vision of what he thought the country should look like. As I was growing up this naturally rubbed off on me. I became a skilled debater and a skilled advocate for one particular political party over against another.

But then I became serious about my faith, went to Bible College and Seminary. But I still tried to be a staunch political activist. I was often posting my political opinions on social media and critiquing the opposition. Sometimes my arguments were logical and persuasive. But other times I succumbed to the petty and childish ways of argument that characterize today’s political world. People I loved tried to warn me that maybe I was a bit too bold.

But it wasn’t until I lost a job opportunity because of a particular social media post that I realized that my political identity was becoming the primary identity in life. My politics had come to dominate my theology and not the other way round as it should have been. And in my rejection letter from a church that was considering hiring me as a pastor they reminded me of a simple teaching of Jesus: to whom much is given, much is required.

It was at that time I realized that politics had become an idol in my life and also that I liked the sound of my own voice and rhetoric a little too much. I knew what I had to do. I had to let go of this identity. I had to be transformed by the renewing of my mind in this area of my life. And so what I did is that I changed my voter registration. I went from being a member of one of the two major political parties in our country to being a registered independent. But along with that status change I also changed my behavior. First, I began simply by keeping my opinions to myself. Most people have their mind made up about politics anyway. Most people debate just to hear themselves talk. But secondly, I began to listen to others and why they believed what they did. It didn’t mean I agreed with them, but I did learn to understand their perspective. And finally, I took a step back and realized that all of these people I used to look down on as hopelessly deluded fools were also children of God—people for whom Christ has died.

Friends, if we don’t first seek our identity as a part of the family of the Kingdom of God we can all fall pray to the idolatry that I found myself living in my own life. We can find ourselves in competitions of words and ideas and building walls between people that don’t look, act, feel, vote, or worship like us. In doing so we create little homogeneous communities of like-minded yes people and Groupthink rules the day.

That’s not what God intended. God intended the human family to be diverse. That’s why both in the beginning and at the end in Revelation God redeems a people from every tribe and tongue so that all might give praise to God.

And the Church is where this is supposed to play out. It is appalling that the church is so divided. I find it appalling that our own UMC is so divided over issues of identity. It seems like we as a body have forgotten our primary identity is to be found in our relationship to God through Christ. We have instead substituted other primary identities in their place: progressive or conservative or centrist, affirming or traditional, and on and on.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. We do not have to divide because we disagree. Unity does not mean unity in thought or opinion but unity in purpose and mission. As John Wesley asked those who criticized the early Methodists, “If we cannot think alike, can we not love alike?”

Will they know we are Christians by our doctrinal confessions? Will they know we are Christians by our political stance? Will they know we are Christians by our culture, our worship, our buildings? No. People can see hypocrisy a mile a way. They can see us play acting while secretly protecting our in-group identity.

No friends, they will know we are Christians by our love. And not just our love of those that think, act, feel, vote, and believe like us. Jesus said love your neighbor. But he also said love your enemy. So I think that basically means we are to love everyone.

All community breaks down simply because we fail to love as we ought. Family breaks down because the love has gone. Societies break down because self-love triumphs over self-giving love. And the church fails in its mission when it loves its status more than the marginalized. When it loves to hear itself speak and sing more than it does by demonstrating love of God and neighbor through acts of piety and acts of mercy.

May it be in our generation that we finally correct this imbalance. May we find our identity solely in Christ and allow those other identifiers we carry not to be erased, but to be relativized until we form a true community in which the love of God through Christ is shed abroad in our hearts through the Holy Spirit. Amen.