When Rights are Wrong, Part 3

If you were going through the Called to Obedience Discipleship material in full, you would see a list of 75 warning signs that you are holding on some perceived rights. You would be asked to check the ones that apply to you. In the following lesson, you would see a corresponding “right” that you are likely holding on to, consciously or unconsciously.

Today, I want to look at 20 warning signs and the corresponding right as a sampling of that list.

So for each warning sign I put up, I am going to ask you to tell me what you think the corresponding “right” might be.

Being angry, tense or irritable when my way is thwarted

Right to have things go my way

Having negative, critical, ungrateful attitudes

Right to focus on the “negatives” in others’ lives or in my circumstances

Unwilling to go to uncomfortable places God may want me to go

Right to not have to go places I don’t want to go in obedience to God

Disobeying human authority

Right to not have to obey my human authorities (government, elders, teachers, parents, husband, employer)

Thinking I don’t “deserve” to have painful trials or difficult people in my life

Right to have painful trials and difficult people changed or removed because I believe I don’t “deserve” them

This can include an unpleasant job situation or having an unpleasant neighbor, etc.

Fearing failure, the future, rejection and/or consequences of sin

Right not to fail; right to not be rejected; right to try to control my future; right to not have to reap what I have sown

Not persevering in obeying God because I think God’s way won’t yield the results I want; losing hope in God; giving up

Right to put time limits on God and then decide, “I’ve had enough;” right to not persevere; right to lose hope in God

Being jealous, covetous, envious

Right to have material possessions, appearance, marriage, family, spiritual walk, less difficult life, etc. that others have

Not accepting and loving difficult people unconditionally

Right to not love others because they don’t do what I want them to do

Unwilling to have others intrude upon or interrupt my schedule and/or my “private time” (may include family members, friends or those in need)

Right to not be inconvenienced by family members, friends or those who are in need; right to complete all I want to do in the time I want to do it

Refusing to practice renewing my mind when I am controlled by sinful thoughts

Right to wallow in sinful thoughts; right to not discipline my mind to godliness

Unwilling to forgive those who offend me

Right to bitterness and malice; right to suppress rather than releasing the offender through forgiveness; right to be prideful saying, “I will not forgive.”

Being prideful in not wanting to accept scriptural help or admonishment from those whom the Lord wants to use for growth in my life

Right to not be accountable to any person for spiritual growth; right to not heed godly counsel

Being angry and self-pitying when I am not respected and/or my reputation is maligned

Right to respect; right to a good reputation; right to defend my reputation

Not having biblical priorities (God, spouse, children, outreach to others, job)

Right to spend time on what I believe is important rather than what God views as important

Rejecting others before they reject me

Right to avoid or emotionally eliminate someone from my life who might hurt me

Being a perfectionist; being performance-oriented

Right to have the unbiblical goal of being perfect and/or expecting others to please me; right to “perform” to please God, others, myself

Seeking to “feel good” about myself through trying to build or to maintain my self‐ esteem

Flight to “feel good” about myself; right to be self-focusing; right to the goal of building self-esteem

Being angry, self-pitying when I do not receive affirmation, love, approval and/or attention I desire from others

Right to receive affirmation, love, approval and/or attention from others

Believing I can question God repeatedly about why He allows trials in my life; believing I deserve an answer from Him

Right to expect that God tell me why I’m going through trial(s)

**Show My Will, God’s Will slide…

This morning, as we continue in this series, we will consider God’s will versus our will.

**Show Big Idea

Body

My Will, God’s Will

Big Idea: Submitting to God’s will requires a surrendering of ours.

“WHEN CHRIST CALLS A MAN, HE BIDS HIM COME AND DIE.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German who was martyred for the cause of Christ, died in a Nazi concentration camp just days before it was liberated by the Allies in 1945. He understood the cost of following Jesus Christ, and the above words were the cornerstone of his life.

“Death to self” ‐ Death to your affections and lusts, to your motives and attitudes, to your plans, goals and ambitions, to your relationships and possessions, to your thoughts and ways ‐ if they are in opposition to God’s will and Word.

How did the Apostle Paul regard the world’s treasures and affections compared to knowing Christ? (Phil. 3:7-8)

Philippians 3:7–8 “7 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ”

Counted as loss - they accounted to less than nothing, rubbish.

Paul understood the great joy of knowing His Savior intimately by abandoning himself to Him.

Everything that Paul had gained, which the world would say was worth something, he counted as NOTHING compared to the worth of KNOWING and BEING IN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP with Christ.

What must you offer to God in order to die to self? Give examples.

My comfort

My pleasure

My reputation

My success

My possessions

My desires

What promise does Christ give to those who “lose” their life through dying to self? (Matt. 10:39)

Matthew 10:39 “39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

They will find it.

What does it mean to lose your life for Christ?

To die to self, to give up ones own ideals, visions, dreams, desires, etc, in pursuit of Christ. To live for His instead of your own.

How is Christ able to live His life through you? (2 Cor. 4:11)

2 Corinthians 4:11 “11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.”

2 Corinthians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary Sacrificial

Dying does not translate thanatos, Paul’s usual word for death, but nekrōsis. Thanatos speaks of death as a fact or an event, while nekrōsis describes the process of dying. As noted above, Paul constantly faced death, which led him to write, “I die daily” (1 Cor. 15:31). He knew well what it was to “deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow [Christ]” (Luke 9:23).

When we die to self and let His will and life dictate our thoughts and actions.

You need not fear that death to self will lead to a barren, unfulfilled life. To the contrary, Christ said you will find a life that is deeply satisfying. (John 10:10b)

Do we really believe this?

With what words did Christ die to all self-interest and submit His will to His Heavenly Father? (Luke 22:42b)

Luke 22:42 “42 saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.””

Not my will, but yours be done.

First, Christ yielded His will to His Father’s and then committed to follow Him. These words, spoken by God Himself, had great power over Satan. You, also, will find they have power if you use them in your times of unbelief and resistance to His will and then yield your life in obedience to Him. Amy Carmichael, a missionary to India, reminded herself when faced with difficult people and situations, “See in this, a chance to die.”

What situations has God placed by His sovereign hand in your life that provide an opportunity for you to die to self-interest, self-protection and self-gratification?

Ask them to apply this to their life, to ponder, consider and grow through it.

What does God promise to do for those who love Him and are called for His purpose? (Rom. 8:28)

Romans 8:28 “28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

All things work out for good. God will use all things for His purpose.

This does not mean that all things are good.

BUT that God can use all things FOR good. That he will BRING good out of it all.

So, what does this mean when we die to self, surrender our will, and yield our rights? How will God respond do that?

What does He also promise as you follow Him?(Phil.4:19)

Philippians 4:19 “19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

He will supply ALL our needs.

Trick is, we confuse needs and wants.

How do we discern the difference?

Weight in light of eternity.

Ask, will it glorify God or me?

Ask, is it aimed at glorifying and obeying God or making me comfortable?

What were the Apostle Paul’s goals? (Phil. 3:10)

Philippians 3:10 “10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,”

That he would know Christ and the power of His resurrection.

That he would share in his suffering

Because of God’s holy perfection, He is incapable of lying to you and will not fail to fulfill His promises to you. That which God promises, He will deliver, in His time, in His way. Waiting on the fulfillment of His promises is a discipline the Lord desires to develop in each believer. Waiting teaches perseverance, surrender, submission, trust, faithfulness and patience.

What did God do for King David when he waited patiently for the Lord? (Ps. 40:1-3)

Psalm 40:1–3 “1 I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. 2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.”

He heard him

He drew him out of the pit

Set his feet on the rock

Made his steps secure

Put a new song in his mouth

Psalm 27:14 “14 Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

In clinging to your “rights,” you want to follow self because it is the easy course or because it will bring a desired result. In order for Christ to live fully through you, you must be willing to put self-will to death. Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest, says that deep identification with Christ can come through nothing less than an “absolute annihilation” of your right to yourself. You must choose to believe that God is always working in your best interest because He purchased your very life, and you are one of His most treasured possessions. When you find yourself in the battle of wills with God, practice renewing your mind with the concept that God is always working on your behalf - even in your darkest hours. You can trust the Man who died for you. Jesus’ call upon your life is hard. But, remember His commands are lovingly designed to bring forth a life free from emotional bondages and selfish motivations; a life filled with the intimate companionship of the Living God.

What does God promise you when you “take His yoke” upon yourself? His yoke is submission to His law. (Matt. 11:28-30)

Matthew 11:28–30 “28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.””

It is light and easy.

The command of Jesus is hard, unutterably hard, for those who try to resist it. But for those who willingly submit, the yoke is easy and the burden is light. Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The “bottom line” of your Christian walk rests squarely in the domain of your will. That is the field where every spiritual battle is waged. The central questions are, “Will I choose to believe myself and Satan because I do not trust God and His way?” or “Will I choose to believe and follow God, trusting that His way will always work for my benefit?” Are you willing to “die to self” so that Christ may live His life through you? Are you willing to surrender your will daily and repeatedly to God’s will?

Psalm 51:12 ESV

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

God’s way is the way of relationship.

Submission to God’s Will

Big Idea: Submitting to God’s will requires a surrendering of ours.

Submission to God’s Will ~ The Victorious Outcome The Wedding of Sorrow and Joy, of Sacrifice and Blessing, of Personal Pain and Peace

Unfortunately, Satan’s domain (the world) and his ideas have greatly penetrated the thinking of many Christians today. Believers are often in pursuit of the “good life” when Christ promises the abundant, fulfilled life instead. (John 10:10b)

John 10:10 ESV

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Read 2 Corinthians 11:23-29.

2 Corinthians 11:23–29 “23 Are they servants of Christ? I am a better one—I am talking like a madman—with far greater labors, far more imprisonments, with countless beatings, and often near death. 24 Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; 26 on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; 27 in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. 28 And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches. 29 Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to fall, and I am not indignant?”

What are some of the ways the Apostle Paul suffered because he was obedient to the will of His Father?

Forty lashes

Beaten

Stoned

Shipwrecked

Adrift at sea

Frequent danger

Toil and hardship

Sleepless nights

Hunger

Cold

Anxiousness

Did Paul have the “good life” or the abundant, fulfilled life in the midst of great sacrifice and hardship?

Abundant and fulfilled life

Read 2 Corinthians 6:4-10.

2 Corinthians 6:4–10 “4 but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, 5 beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; 6 by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; 7 by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; 8 through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; 9 as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; 10 as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.”

What further persecution did Paul suffer?

Imprisonment

Riots

Dishonor

Slander

Paul, while chained to a prison wall, wrote the book of Philippians. What command is issued to you from his dungeon? (Phil. 4:4)

Philippians 4:4 “4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”

Rejoice always

Read Philippians 3:3-8.

Philippians 3:3–8 “3 For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh— 4 though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. 7 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ”

What things did Paul consider “rubbish” that he might gain a vital relationship with Christ?

All things

Everything he had gained

Everything the world counted as good

What did he consider to be of surpassing value or greatness, around which he centered his entire life?

Knowing Christ

In he midst of all these trials, Paul weds the concept of sorrow with joy, “sorrowful yet always rejoicing.” (2 Cor. 6:10a)

“Sorrow was beautiful... When Sorrow sang, her notes were like the low sweet call of a nightingale, and in her eyes was the unexpectant gaze of one who ceased to look for coming gladness. She could weep in tender sympathy with those who weep, but to rejoice with those who rejoice was unknown to her Joy was beautiful, too... When Joy sang, his voice soared upward as a lark’s and his step was the step of a conqueror who had never known defeat. He could rejoice with all who rejoice, but to weep with those who weep was unknown to him. ‘But we can never be united,’ said Sorrow wistfully. ‘No, never,’ and Joy’s eyes shadowed as he spoke. (While speaking) they became conscious of a form standing beside them; dimly seen, but of a Kingly Presence, and a great holy awe stole over them as they sank to their knees before Him. ‘I see Him as the King of Joy, ’ whispered Sorrow, ‘for on His head are many crowns, and the nail prints in His hands and feet are the scars of great victory. Before Him all my sorrow is melting away into death/ess love and gladness, and I give myself to Him forever.’ ‘Nay Sorrow,’ said Joy softly, ‘but I see Him as the King of Sorrow, and the crown on His head is a crown of thorns, and the nail prints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great agony. I, too, give myself to Him forever, for sorrow with Him must be sweeter than any joy that l have known.’ ‘Then we are ONE in Him,’ they cried in gladness, ‘ for none but He could unite Joy and Sorrow. ’ Hand in hand they passed out into the world to follow Him through storm and sunshine, in bleakness of winter cold and the warmth of summer gladness, ‘as sorrowful yet always rejoicing.’ ” UNKNOWN

In James 1:12a, what single word does God use to describe the person who perseveres in trial?

James 1:12 “12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

Blessed

One of the most compelling passages in Scripture is known as the “Beatitudes.” Drink in their substance by reading Matthew 5:1-12. What word does God use to describe the believer in the midst the realization of his depravity, in sacrifice, self-denial and persecution

Matthew 5:1–12 “1 Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. 2 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. 5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. 6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. 7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. 8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. 9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Blessed!

How strange! For Christians often believe that the only way to be “blessed” is to have everything go their way, to have good interpersonal relationships and to be comfortable and carefree. Therefore, they try to determine and to control how and when they will be blessed. In His infinite wisdom God says the opposite. You will be “blessed” in the midst of suffering and persecution, in being merciful to those who hurt you and in dying to every form of self‐ wilI. Those who walk by faith allow God to determine how and when they will be blessed. They develop an awareness of and thankfulness for how God is ministering to them in the midst of their difficulties.

In Matthew 5:12, what response is commanded of you in the midst of your personal pain?

Matthew 5:12 “12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Rejoice and be glad

God is also able to unite your difficult, turbulent circumstances, which are beyond your control, with surpassing peace. What does He ask you to do to obtain this peace? (Phil. 4:6,7)

Philippians 4:6–7 “6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Don’t be anxious. Bring them to God with thanksgiving

Peace radiates from a life of unwavering trust in God, whose ways are perfect. In Proverbs 3:5, you are commanded to do something, and you are commanded not to do something which will result in peace of mind. Write out each command.

Proverbs 3:5 “5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

Trust in the Lord - WITH ALL YOUR HEART

Lean not on your own understanding

I ONCE HEARD A MAN SPEAK OF A LOST SORROW. AT FIRST I DID NOT KNOW WHAT HE MEANT. BUT HIS THOUGHT OUICKLY EMERGED AND I SAY IT ALL. A LOST SORROW WAS A SORROW OUT OF WHICH A MAN FAILED TO GET THE BLESSING WHICH GOD MEANT TO COME OUT OF IT FOR HIM. OUT OF EVERY SORROW GOD MEANS THERE SHOULD COME SUBMISSION; A DRAWING NEARER TO HIS OWN GREAT HEART OF LOVE; A NEW VISION OF THE SHALLOWNESS OF WORLDLY STREAMS AND THE DEPTHS OF DIVINE ONEs; A CLOSER DEVOTION To JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS NEVER BEFORE KNOWN; A LOOSENING OF THE GRASP ON TIME, AND ITS TIGHTENING UPON ETERNITY. IT IS A SOLEMN FACT WHICH SOME OF US KNOW ALL T o o WELL THAT SORROW LEAVES US EITHER CLOSER To GOD OR FARTHER AWAY. IT IS A DOUBLE‐ EDGED TOOL. IT EITHER SCARS OR BEAUTIFIES. BY OUR RESISTANCE WE MAY MAKE IT A HEAD-WIND BAFFLING AND DRIVING OUR TINY CRAFT BACK FROM ITS DESTINED HAVEN OF REST. BUT BY OUR SUBMISSION GOD WILL MAKE IT To BE A FAVORING ONE TO WAFT US ONWARD INTO SAFETY AND TRANOUIL REST OF HIS PERFECT WILL. JAMES H. MCCONKEY

How can you abide in deep personal peace, regardless of how difficult your circumstances are? (IS. 26:3)

Isaiah 26:3 “3 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”

God keeps us in perfect peace as we trust in Him,

Every believer, who is submitted to His will, can thank God for bringing His light into every dark avenue on life’s journey.

Dear Lord, Thank You, Father, that I am not a helpless pawn in Circumstances which seem totally out of control. Thank you, Father, that I am not left to “limp” through life’s pain in a depressed, embittered, frightened, self-pitying state. AS I yield all my personal rights to You, then I will be able to turn away from trying to control my world in order to please myself. I relinquish the right to be my own boss. Through obedience to Your perfect commands and reliance upon Your unfailing promises, You, my Great Sustainer, will provide a pathway in my confusing wilderness. How grateful I am that You always provide a way to control my inner Climate when my outer climate is beyond my control. Only You can provide a quiet center of stillness in the eye of the hurricane of events. Joy, blessing and peace will come when I have forsaken my will and accepted Your perfect will for my life. Then You will emotionally free me from the bondage of my private nightmare, so I can truly find joy in sorrow, blessing in dying to self, and abiding peace in the midst of Shattered dreams. Thank You, Lord, for taking control of my will and bringing it into subjection to Yours. Amen.

JOY THAT SEEKEST ME THROUGH PAIN I CANNOT CLOSE MY HEART TO THEE, I TRACE THE RAINBOW THROUGH THE RAIN, AND FEEL THE PROMISE IS NOT VAIN THAT MORN SHALL TEARLESS BE. O LOVE THAT WILT NOT LET ME GO - GEORGE MATHESON

Psalm 40:1–3 ESV

1 I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. 2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.

Conclusion

Big Idea: Submitting to God’s will requires a surrendering of ours.

My Will, God’s Will

Submission to God’s Will

Hand out Yielding Perceived Rights

Have them read through the list together.

Which ones stood out to you and why?

Are there any that you believe you need to yield up?

Application

How do learn to daily die to self, take up our cross, and follow Jesus? What makes this process so difficult? What steps can we take to grow in this area?

What must you be willing to give up, to die to? Be specific.

What testimony can you share of the blessings of dying to self?

What situations has God placed by His sovereign hand in your life that provide an opportunity for you to die to self-interest, self-protection and self-gratification?

What makes claiming the promise of Philippians 4:19 so difficult?

What should be our goal in life? Use scripture to support your answer.

How do we learn to wait patiently on the Lord?

How do we learn to count all things as loss compared to knowing Christ?

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