Robert + Shauna Wedding Homily

I’ve had the privilege of knowing these two for a while. Robert and I met in high school and Shauna and I met 3 or 4 years ago.

It has been cool to see these two grow and develop in their relationship for each other.

It is a huge understatement to say that I’m excited for what God has in store in and through you both.

You may be expecting me to give you some words of wisdom that may guide you through your marriage over the years. Or to give you the key to living a perfect marriage. BUT, I want to give you 3 principles that will serve as a foundation for your marriage.

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract

Contract built on the terms of agreement

EX. Cell Phone. You pay for a certain number of minutes, texts, and data. The relationship is based on the terms of agreement. You don’t pay, you don’t get the minutes. If your service drops, you’re upset. You’re not going to extend grace because you’ve built a relationship with the customer service rep. Your contract was based on the terms.

What you will receive

A marriage covenant is a commitment for a lifetime.

Read: Mk 10.1-10

Mark 10:1–10 ESV

And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them. And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter.

In a minute, you’re exchanging vows not negotiations.

You two are committing to love each other in sickness and in health and for richer or poorer, until death do you part. You’re making a covenant to love each other whatever life may throw at you two. You’re a team that no one can separate.

That doesn’t mean it’ll be easy

Shauna, it will take time for Robert to learn to live as your husband. There may be times when he acts apart from you. But, be gracious with him as he learns.

And Robert, it will take time for Shauna to learn to live as your Wife.

Let me remind both of you that as God is patient, so be patient with each other as you strive to live each day out of the ‘oneness’ that you are.

Marriage is not a reflection of your own desires; it is a picture of Jesus and His Church

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in pre-marriage counseling, the beautiful thing about marriage is that a healthy marriage models God’s relationship to his Church

You are to serve each other the way Christ serves you and His church.

You are to commit to each other the way Christ has committed to you and His church.

In the same way, Robert, you should love Shauna.

Shauna, in the same way, you should love Robert.

Unconditionally

Never forget that your marriage should be a reflection of Christ’s love for his church.

When hard times come, remember the covenant you’ve made towards each other.

Capacity to keep these vows will rest on how seriously you take commitment and the level of love you develop for each other.

One other thing I’ve learned from pre-marriage counseling is to continue dating each other. Enjoy spending time with the other.

Remember what John says in John 15.12-13

John 15:12–13 ESV

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Jesus speaks this. And less than 5 chapters later, John records Jesus’ greatest display of love for his beloved creation.

3. Marriage is not just a moment; it is a lifetime commitment

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Robert, Shauna is not perfect.

Shauna, Robert is not perfect.

Marriage is the joining together of two sinners.

The state of being one happens in a moment, but the practice of being one takes a lifetime.

Similar to salvation, we’re saved in a moment - when we realize our sin and inability to save ourselves, turn from our sin, and trust in Christ’s death and resurrection, we are saved. However, practicing our salvation takes a lifetime. We are saved, yet we “work out our salvation.” It takes time as we learn to live out who we are in Christ.

It will take time for you two to learn to live as husband and wife. But, like I said earlier, don’t forget that your relationship should reflect Christ’s love for His Church to those around you.

With this in mind, Robert and Shauna, I charge you to give yourself fully to a lifelong journey together to become more like Christ and, through your love and faithfulness to each other display the love and faithfulness of Christ.