Key #5: Kindness

Intro

Have you ever wondered what the difference between kindness and goodness is? When it comes to the English language, we almost use those words interchangeably. For example, if you help someone with a flat tire, it would be described as an act of kindness, or it could said you did a good deed. So is there really a difference between the two?

The answer is yes there is, otherwise the Apostle Paul would not have listed both of them when he gave us the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22

Galatians 5:22 NLT

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

but what is the difference? Is there something in the Greek that we are missing, or is it something more obvious than that?

to really help us see what the Bible is talking about when it comes to kindness, we are going to read a story about King David. This is one of those stories that there is more going on then what you read at face value. You are going to see that kindness actually has a lot to do with who you are showing kindness to.

2 Samuel 9:1 NLT

One day David asked, “Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive—anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”

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now David’s question is not an unusual one. At the time of David, there were two ways to become king over a nation. One was to inherit the kingship from your father, and the second was to take the kingdom from another man.

But regardless of how you became, what happened next was often the same. When someone became king, they would hunt down the whole family of the outgoing king. If a son inherited the kingdom, he would hunt down his uncles and nephews and kill them. If a king took over, he would eliminate the royal blood line of the king he replaced. Why? Because he didn’t want his claim to the throne threatened, nor did he want his sons to have challenges. So the easiest way to avoid competition? Have them removed from the equation.

However, David is not like any other king, and what he says next would have caught the whole kingdom off guard.

2 Samuel 9:1–8 NLT

One day David asked, “Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive—anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” He summoned a man named Ziba, who had been one of Saul’s servants. “Are you Ziba?” the king asked. “Yes sir, I am,” Ziba replied. The king then asked him, “Is anyone still alive from Saul’s family? If so, I want to show God’s kindness to them.” Ziba replied, “Yes, one of Jonathan’s sons is still alive. He is crippled in both feet.” “Where is he?” the king asked. “In Lo-debar,” Ziba told him, “at the home of Makir son of Ammiel.” So David sent for him and brought him from Makir’s home. His name was Mephibosheth; he was Jonathan’s son and Saul’s grandson. When he came to David, he bowed low to the ground in deep respect. David said, “Greetings, Mephibosheth.” Mephibosheth replied, “I am your servant.” “Don’t be afraid!” David said. “I intend to show kindness to you because of my promise to your father, Jonathan. I will give you all the property that once belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will eat here with me at the king’s table!” Mephibosheth bowed respectfully and exclaimed, “Who is your servant, that you should show such kindness to a dead dog like me?”

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Mephibosheth knows where he stands in this pecking order. He is the grandson of the man who relentlessly hunted David. He is a descendent of the king who tried to pin David to a wall three separate times with his spear.

Mephibosheth is a crippled because when news came that Saul and Jonathan were dead, his nurse tried to rush out of the house with him and dropped him in the process. Her intent was to protect him because he was going to be a target, but in her haste she caused him a lot of damage.

So his words to David, refering to himself as a dog, is very understandable. He understands that he deserves death, he has prepared himself for death. Instead, David is going to let him sit and eat at the king’s table.

But as we read through scripture, everytime this word kindness pops us, it is almost always in relation to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Look at Romans 2:4

Romans 2:4 NLT

Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

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Leading up to this verse, Paul is reminding the church that they all need grace, that they all are sinners in need of a savior. What the Apostle is pointing to is that it doesn’t matter how good you think you are, you still make mistakes. You still sin, you still rebel against God, and yet God remains wonderfully patient, tolerant, and kind. In fact, His wonderful kindness is actually meant to turn you from your sin. It is not permission to keep on sinning, but an inspiration to draw near to Him and embrace His ways.

Romans 5:8 NLT

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Titus 3:3–5 NLT

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But—When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.

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over and over again, we read that God showed His kindness to you while you were still an enemy of His. In fact, salvation in Christ is the greatest expression of kindness you could ever experience.

Just as God showed kindness to you when you didn’t deserve it, you in turn are expected to show kindness to those who do not always deserve it.

Ephesians 4:31–32 NLT

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Colossians 3:12 NLT

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

2 Timothy 2:24 NLT

A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.

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Why? Let’s go back to Romans 2 to see why. God pours His kindness on you show that you would turn from your sin. Kindness has the ability to change people.

According to writer Jon Van, at the 1995 annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, researchers revealed the results of a study that show how important kindness is in day-to-day relations.

In the experiment researchers gave forty-four doctors the symptoms of a hypothetical patient and then asked for each doctor’s diagnosis of the illness. But the real point of the study was not how well the doctors could diagnose illness. Before the experiment began, researchers gave half of the doctors a bag of candy, saying it was a token of appreciation for their involvement in the study. The other doctors received nothing.

Alice Isen, a Cornell University psychologist, said the doctors receiving the candy were far more likely to correctly diagnose the patient’s problem. “Pleasant-feeling states give rise to altruism, helpfulness, and improved interpersonal processes,” she explained.

When God tells us to be kind to others, as always, he has a good idea. Kindness is God’s program for making our world work better.

the underlying theme this morning is that kindness is what you show someone who doesn’t deserve it. The Bible would use the word enemy to describe these people. As soon as I lay it out, I know that your brain jumped to that person. You can picture them in your mind. You know exactly why they jumped to your mind. Somehow they make your life tougher then it needs to be.

What if showing that person kindness is the key to turn things around? It is God’s kindness that is meant to turn things around for you. Why wouldn’t you showing kindness to someone else have a similar effect?

Oh, and for those who maybe couldn’t come up with someone that makes your life tougher, I would like to draw your attention back to the Titus passage. Remember how verse 3 was reminder that you were once foolish, and it is by God’s grace your eyes have been opened. Look at how Titus 3 starts

Titus 3:1–5 NLT

Remind the believers to submit to the government and its officers. They should be obedient, always ready to do what is good. They must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone. Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But—When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.

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ya, you are called to be kind even to the government. Like those who are in leadership positions, you were once lost. They just haven’t made the transition yet. But that’s why you pray for them.

So what does showing kindness look like? Wouldn’t you know, I chose that word enemy intentionally.

Luke 6:27–36 NLT

“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you. “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return. “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.

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that word compassionate could be exchanged for being kind. You must be kind just as your Father is kind.

What does kindness look like to those it is hard to be kind to?

Start with Prayer

always a good idea. Pray for them. Try not to pray that God would smite them, but that God would bless them. Just as God shows His kindness to you, that they would recognize His kindness in their life.

This isn’t always the easy option, and it isn’t the cop out. When I say pray, I mean pray for them like you pray for someone you love. Pray for them like you would pray for someone that is sick. That same level of desperation. I mean really pray for them.

Say Something Nice

Jesus says to bless them when they curse you. Even if it is simply saying, Good morning. Say something nice to them. Speak life and blessing over them, even if they are saying nasty things to you and about you. Bless them even if they curse you.

Do Good to Them

it is really hard to be mean to someone that if being nice to you. So do something out of the ordinary for them. Do they deserve it? Of course not, but that’s what makes it even more significant. Why would you do that for me? I just wanted to do something nice for you.

it is interesting. The pastor’s council in going through a study, and the topic of forgiveness came up. The author of the study said that these three things are key parts to forgiving someone. They are the markers that you have started to heal and move past the hurt.

So kindness to someone that doesn’t deserve. If God’s kindness to meant to turn you from your sin, then maybe your kindness can help someone turn from their wicked ways. Like I said, it is really hard to be mean to someone who is always nice to you.

Or, don’t do anything. Just keep doing the same things you have always done with the difficult people in your life. Just don’t be surprised if you continue to get the same results. Don’t be surprised if nothing ever changes.

I want to finish with this story. It comes from the Marriage Prep Course. There is a married couple who had been together for a number of years, but over time had grown apart. The husband is reflecting on this reality in the shower and is overcome with grief. He knows something has to change, but he just doesn’t know what to do. Then he has an idea.

the next morning he goes to his wife and asks, “Is there anything I can do to make your day better?” The wife is astonished, but asks him to clean the house. He takes the day and cleans the house. The next morning he asks her again. This time, the wife tells him to clean the garage. This is quite a bit bigger task, but he takes the time, does it right, and gets the job done. For 14 days, he asks his wife the same question. On the 14th day, his wife says, “I should be asking you that question.” So since then, this couple starts their asking each other that question, and their marraige has never been stronger.

Sometimes, our kindness will require a little patience, but if you are willing to stick it out, your kindness could change some one else’s world.

Let’s Pray

Discussion Questions

1. What stood out from today’s message?

2. How have you seen God’s kindness in your life? What impact has it had?

3. Who can you show kindness to? What is something you can do this week?